Celtic Cross

is there anybody out there?

2010-10-12T23:19:00.004-05:00

wow....just wow, the date of my last post. wow.

so yeah, I'm not dead.

So much has changed. I'm single now...well, separated, but may as well be. I don't know what to think of that some times. Other times i feel an overwhelming sense of loss and dread, and yet other times i feel hope for the future and the opportunities.

my boy is going to be 10 this month. I can't believe it. He's growing up so fast and turning out to be a wonderful, fun, caring young man.

my head hurts, so i'll stop for now. I've been feeling inspired to write lately, so i'm thinking this here blog might get a shot in the arm. We'll see....no promises. I plan on poking around in my list of links to see how y'all are doing. some i know from facebook, others will be a surprise.

Be well all...see you soon. I'll leave you with this link since i'm too tired to embed right now. kisses

this song has a profound effect on me

On a Boat, Bishes

2009-03-14T17:58:00.002-05:00

Someone showed me this the other day and it was just too damned funny not to share. I haven't posted in ages (yes, I'm lame) but I am still crusing your blogs. No, really...I am! What? Oh stop it, or I'll beat you with my flippy floppys. lol

Oh...NSFW or small children due to language.

2009-01-20T13:59:00.001-06:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Obama's been president now for three hours...and IT's ON.

*applauds*

Snappy New Year

2009-01-06T17:08:00.003-06:00

So...it’s 2009. Thank the powers that be! 2008 was pretty rotten. I've heard so many say that...

I drank entirely too much, I gained weight, I got a new boss who's an asshole, I blew off far too many things, I was ridiculously broke... so, I'm cranky but hopeful.

SO...be forewarned: ranting ahead.

Things that Annoyed the Shit out of me in 2008:
(I'll probably keep adding to this as I think of more annoying things, so stay tuned)

Shoes laying in the road – Where is the other one? What happened to the person? Why? Of course, this has ALWAYS disturbed me.

Toilet stalls that make you have to straddle the toilet to get the door open/closed. Try that in a pencil skirt, assholes.

Pantyhose... 'nuf said.

The asshole with no license or insurance who rear-ended me and totaled my car. ...and the apathetic cop who wrote him up for no license and ignored the bag of pot he dropped behind his car even when someone showed it to him.

Windshield wiper motors that burn out as soon as the snow starts melting.

Pants made for women by people who think they have no curves…if it fits the hips and butt, it's huge in the waist. Gah

The idiot new supervisor who insists I sit facing a wall so that he can peek over my shoulder to see what I'm doing. I HATE facing walls. I am going to put a big picture of a hand flipping the bird on my screen saver for him. Have I ever missed a deadline? Blown anything off? Ever produced anything that was less than top quality? NO. Piss off, asshole.

The fact that I've morphed my anxiety and discontent somehow into apathy and laziness. Not that the anxiety wasn't unpleasant enough...

Homework...slews of homework in second grade. It's just wrong.

Driving my car directly into a tornado. Well...actually that wasn't so annoying...it scared the living shit out of me.

Not getting paid for two holidays at Thanksgiving because I got snowed in out in Colorado and refused to spend 36 hours risking my life to drive home in a blizzard. (which is how long it would have taken...)

Being ridiculously broke.

*sigh*

You know…there always has to be a yin to the yang... there were SOME good things:

My wonderful parents who paid for my son's bday party, saving the day for my broke ass.

My wonderful parent who gave me a car after asshole referenced above totaled mine...yes, it's a putt putt but it gets me there.

My son...because he is an awesome kid, and my rock, and my light, and probably the main reason that I'm not incarcerated or dead at this point. Oy, the naiveté and destructiveness of youth.

Obama... 'nuf said

All my rockin' friends on Second Life. They are THE best, I tell you.

Better financial planning for this year, starting before the year even started.

Having enough common sense to know that it's time to stop drinking and get my shit together. Wish me luck, people...the 3-6 of you that still come here, that is. Celti still lurves you.

When On-Line Friends Disappear

2008-08-01T09:11:00.003-05:00

I've been active on-line (blogging, chatrooms, Second Life, etc.) for years. I've developed a lot of wonderful friendships via the internet over the years...several people I care about deeply. We all, however, tend to keep an anonimity in tact with those relationships...know first name but not last, state but not city, etc. It's for safeties sake...don't want someone we don't really know going stalker or psycho on us.

Those that I am REALLY close to, I have phone numbers and such for...just in case one of us drops offline we can check up on each other, not to mention chat now and then. Those I don't have contact information for, however...it worries me some times. What if they were to disappear...never login again, not answer e-mails...the worry and wondering would be frustrating at best. I've had this happen before, but they eventually showed back up somehow, much to my relief.

I've a situation with one such friend. Well, I actually have this person's phone number, but the last I talked to him, he wasn't living at that house any more. This dear man, an intelligent, funny, soft-hearted person, is bi-polar and has suffered from horrible bouts of depression and other suffering. The last I talked to him, he had been in the hospital, and things had gone terribly wrong with his wife so he had moved out. He was miserable...missing his children, missing her, just completely miserable and so very down. There's only so much you can do from 2000 miles away...*sigh*

Well, I haven't heard from him now for months. Honestly, I'm worried sick. He's had a history of attempting suicide and I'm scared to death that he's done it. I want to call that number I have and check on him, but I know I would get his wife... I guess you can say I'm scared to call...scared of what I'll find out. I've e-mailed several times with no response...which is not like him. Sometimes they're slow in coming, but he always respond.

If I didn't have a phone number, I'd be completely clueless and helpless. But I have a number...I'm going to call soon...I just can't stand it any more.

Update 10/8/08: HE'S OK :) *breathes sigh of relief*

Hold on to Your Ass, Toto!

2008-06-10T10:28:00.005-05:00

oh boy...wow, I've really not posted for like...forever. I'm still around, and have been poking my nose into your blogs though I've been rather quiet.

It's been a crazy Spring and early Summer here...tons of storms. I know many have heard about the monsterous F5 tornado that wiped out a whole town near here...but there have been many more of those twisters around...many more than usual.

Well, the night before last, I met one face to face. We had dropped D off at his grandma and grandpas as he's spending the week camping with them and was heading home. We could see a nasty storm coming in but thought we'd get out of there in time...hahaha. WRONG.

As I drove north, it started raining. Then it rained harder. Then it started raining sideways, so hard that I could barely see 5 feet in front of the car. The wind was blowing hard and I was having a terrible time staying on the road. As we approached an intersection where I could go right to my parents' place or left to go home, suddenly construction signs and those big orange barrels started flying across the highway. I turned right and opted to return to my parents' house. When I got there, after 10-15 minutes of white-knuckled struggle to stay on the road, I found them in their basement with the weather radio blaring tornado warnings...the twister had just passed over the spot where I was.

I knew it was a tornado, but never saw the funnel as there was just too much rain. Talk about an adrenalin rush, though...woo! I think there are still fingernail marks in my steering wheel.

So now, we get to deal with the floods...they're closing the down town bridges tonight. Just help me pray we don't lose power and water again. Now, THAT sucked.

Yes, We Can

2008-02-15T14:32:00.001-06:00

It's a Cyber-Cat's Life

2008-01-09T13:44:00.000-06:00

Many of you that come here or have been coming here know that I've been spending most of my on-line time playing Second Life. It's an amazing on-line world, and there are many games inside the game. Well, recently, I've tried something new in there and have found it very entertaining.

The world of Gor, based on the novels of John Norman, has a huge presence in Second Life. It is a somewhat primitive world, involving an alternate planet where men are very dominant and many women live as slaves. See the link for a lot more details if you're curious...it's rather complicated actually.

Quite a while back, a friend was telling me about her involvement in Gor in the role of a panther. Panthers are, in a nutshell, outlaws and escaped slaves - female warriors who live in tribes in the woods and jungles. Very protective of their own and dedicated to their tribes, they are fierce fighters. The world of Gor in Second Life relying on role playing to weave the intricate stories of each person's life there, panthers spend most of their days defending their territory and their "sisters" from invasions from unfriendly tribal rivals and Gorean men looking for slaves. Most of the fighting is done with bows and arrows (and very realistic, I might mention) but some hand-to-hand combat with spears and daggers comes into play as well.

I was initiated into my friends tribe along with my closest friend a few weeks ago. Yes...I am now a panther. We get captured now and then and it is up to us to find a way to escape or our sisters organize a rescue party to come get us. If we are victorious in battle, our captives are usually traded for goods or for a captive sister that the enemy may have. Sometimes, however, they are kept as slaves of the tribe and, now and then, they can even be killed. It's an exciting and some times savage world full of great fun and adventure.

Panther Celti :)

Last night, I kicked a Gorean pig's butt, tied him up and traded him for two bars of chocolate. whoochacha!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-20T11:50:00.000-06:00

I'm off this afternoon to try to finish my shopping for Christmas gifts. Yes yes, I know...at least I won't have to fight the weekend crowds of procrastinators this weekend. Hope you all have a peaceful, happy holiday. xoxo

Have I lost it? Why YES!

2007-11-27T10:28:00.000-06:00

*grin*

Is spring here yet? Shit. Guess not.

"Elaine - Enjoying a Few Drinks and a Traditional Mustard Easter Cigar with Bathing Easterish Ponies, Hello Kitty Heads and a Ton of Headache Inducing Marshmellow Fuckwads" by Merkley

My sidebar is borked. So is my header. Jeebus, even my profile image is. I have to get my butt in gear and fix all this stuff...or not. Damn, I'm lazy.

Yeah...I hotlinked. Bad girl! *swats self in the butt* If someone yells, I'll fix it but I'm to feckin' lazy to do it without being yelled at. lol

My dad told me that "the Golden Compass" is evil because it's an athiest movie. huh? O.o

Just in case you wondered, 'tater tots are evil. pure.evil. yes.

I used to be apathetic but now I just don't care.
*laughs*

bwaaahahah

2007-11-16T11:48:00.000-06:00

not the ride on anyone's shirt tail, but I also don't want to make a liar out of myself *points down at last post*.

I'm too busy giggling and guffawing at this, however...

Go look and laugh with me.

Happy Friday!

Revival

2007-11-07T08:37:00.000-06:00

Hey! Hi there. How the hell are ya?

For those of you that still pop in to check on me these days (all what...2 of you?), apologies for my absence. It's true that I am still spending the majority of my on-line time in Second Life. I have a ton of cool friends there, a job doing security in a club, I build, dance...blah blah. You don't wanna hear about all that, I know.

Yesterday I was looking for a particular picture that I knew I had posted in my blog. As I combed through my archives, it occurred to me that I really do miss this creative outlet. It might take me a bit to get back into it, but I think I'm going to try to start posting regularly again.

Ahh, it's good to be back. Now to make the rounds and see how many links over here are outdated/dead. *sigh*

'Round and 'Round We Go

2007-08-13T21:19:00.001-05:00

2007-07-07T16:08:00.000-05:00

7/7/7

Made of Pain

2007-05-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

A woman is not made of flesh, bone and sinew
belly and breasts, elbows and liver and toe.
She is manufactured like a sports sedan.
She is retooled, refitted and redesigned
every decade.

Cecile had been seduction itself in college.
She wriggled through bars like a satin eel,
her hips and ass promising, her mouth pursed
in the dark red lipstick of desire.

She visited years later still wearing dark red lipstick,
and danced through Manhattan in mini skirt,
hair loose as a horse's mane.
Oh dear, whatever has happened to poor Cecile?
She was out of fashion, out of the game,
disqualified, disdained, dismembered from the club of desire.

Look at pictures in French fashion magazines of the 18th century:
Century of the Ultimate Lady
a fantasy wrought of silk and corseting.
Paniers bring her hips out three feet
each way, while the waist is pinched
and the belly flattened under wood.
The breasts are stuffed up and out
offered like apples in a bowl.
The tiny foot is encased in a slipper
never meant for walking.
On top is a grandiose headache:
hair like a museum piece, daily ornamented with ribbons,
vases, grottoes, mountains, frigates in full sail,
balloons, baboons, the fancy of a hairdresser turned loose.
The hats were rococo wedding cakes
that would dim the Las Vegas strip.
Here is a woman forced into shape
rigid exoskeleton torturing flesh:
a woman made of pain.

How superior we are now: see the modern woman
thin as a blade of scissors.
She runs on a treadmill every morning,
fits herself into machines of weights
and pulleys to heave and grunt,
an image in her mind she can never approximate,
a body of rosy glass that never wrinkles,
never grows, never fades.
She sits at the table closing her eyes to food
hungry, always hungry:
a woman made of pain.

A cat or dog approaches another,
they sniff noses. They sniff asses.
They bristle or lick.
They fall in love as often as we do,
as passionately.
But they fall in love or lust with furry flesh,
not hoop skirts or push up bras,
rib removal or liposuction.
It is not for male or female dogs
that poodles are clipped like topiary hedges.

If only we could like each other raw.
If only we could love ourselves
like healthy babies burbling in our arms.
If only we were not programmed and reprogrammed
to need what is sold us.
Why should we want to live inside ads?
Why should we want to scourge our softness
to straight lines like a Mondrian painting?
Why should we punish each other with scorn
as if to have a large ass were worse than being greedy or mean?

When will women not be compelled
to view their bodies as science projects,
gardens to be weeded, dogs to be trained?
When women cease to be made of pain?

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T19:51:00.000-05:00

ACK O.o

2007-02-24T23:58:00.000-06:00

Damn, I overdid it last night. I'm told by my partner in crime, a girl I've been friends with since we were four years old, that we now have a Friday night tradition. That would be going to Hugh's Jungle Room and dancing, drinking and doing karaoke. Yes, that's right - Celti got up on stage and sang. EEP!

I had not performed in public since college musicals. Although I know I sound freaking awesome when singing in my car to the radio (lol), I wasn't so sure about this. Turns out I did ok...got a few compliments from strangers, so it couldn't have been half bad. I sang "strong enough" by Cheryl Crow. :)

Anyway, they have this signature drink there named a Texas (something quite rude that rhymes with agate) and whoo, boy. It's a powerful concoction. I only had three last night and man, was I blasted. This morning, I was most certainly green around the gills. ack.

I won't share my views on my musical performance of last night. Let's just say ack again. lol Anyway, I'll beware of the drinks, and will be sure to pick out more songs that suit my range and attitude like Cheryl. :)

My friend, I'll call her Neece, is a freaking hoot. In the 30+ years we've been friends, we've never fought, never had a falling out at all. We tend to go for periods where we don't see each other much, then we fall right back in just as if we talked yesterday. She is a priceless gem.

Ahhh, fun times...

My Goodness, Yes

2007-02-12T21:04:00.000-06:00

...I'm still alive. I'm ok. I'm keeping on keepin' on. I have plans. I'm moving forward. Life is good and bad and confusing and amazing. That's really about all I can tell you. ...well, except for I love you for continuing to care about what's up. LJ post coming soon, methinks. *smooches*

Bad to the Bone

2007-01-14T20:29:00.000-06:00

Hello! Yes, yes, I am alive and well...I've just been a bit swept away from the blogger world, that's all. I've been bad and I apologize for seemingly abandoning this, my home on the internet.

Honestly...it's Second Life. Really. It's pretty much all I do while on-line now-a-days. I dance in a club there, have a place of my own, have tons of wonderful friends and am even working on starting my own business. I'm learning to build things, and reception to them has been great, so I'm looking into selling them. There are people who actually make a living running their own business in Second Life, peeps! I'm not kidding. Find something that's in demand, word gets out and you've got it. It's no joke really...Second Life is growing like a field of weeds.

...a few stats for you:
Total Second Life Residents: 2,594,214
Online Now: 21,499
US$ Spent Last 24hours: $849,397

That's 24 hours. Nearly a million in 24 hours. There are days that I've seen it to be over a million. Unfortunately, they are a private company right now, so no stock available, but you can bet I'll be buying some if they go public. Wooo ha!

I've actually considered starting a Second Life blog. I think I would call it "Avies Behaving Badly". *grins* There are tons of them...go look. It's just that there are so many crazy things that go on, so many tangled up relationships and scenarios. It really would be a scream. I've explored the world of being a neko(part cat, part human), have gotten to know the social and feeding habits of shemales, befriended furries and demons...it's freaking amazing. Oh...and I'm a dominatrix in training! :p

Sooo...how are you? lol

Pffft - Updated

2006-12-22T19:31:00.000-06:00

I heard a song this afternoon that pretty much wrapped up how I'm feeling lately. Because I don't feel as if I can properly express myself with my own words, here you go:

You can look at the menu but you just cant eat
You can feel the cushions but you cant have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you cant have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you cant commit the sin
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can build a mansion but you just cant live in it
Youre the fastest runner but youre not allowed to win
Some break the rules
And live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that wont get lost
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can see the summit but you cant reach it
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just cant make it fit
Doctor says youre cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

Merry fucking Christmas
Bah humbug.

UPDATE - 12/23
Well folks, my attitude has improved significantly since I posted this (thank you Lani, Spc...). It was just one of those weak moments, lubricated by alcohol and pushed by the surface by demons.

I'm looking forward to watching my little one squeal with delight on Christmas as he opens all his packages. He will be very happy and that makes me happy...that's really all that matters. I am loved and for that I'm thankful.

My best wishes for a lovely, peaceful holiday to you all. *hugs*

Off the face of the earth is really a lovely place.

2006-12-05T08:53:00.000-06:00

...and the fall didn't really hurt at all!

I know, I know...you were so worried about me, right?

Right?

lol

Well, I'll be the first to admit that I've been bad. Very bad. I've been drunk many times, smoked, went to strip clubs and had lap dances, played on-line games for far too long, cybered, played with guns - I've just been a bad girl. Spank me.

In addition to all of the above, since I've spoken here, I've been sick as a dog. I fell victim to some nasty virus that raped my sinuses and shit in my lungs. I think I've finally blown them right out my nose, though, so all is well. I've been shuttling the child to appointments, Christmas shopping, reluctantly playing the domestic diva role, and generally slacking off as much as I can get away with.

I've popped around to most of your blogs and read at least a couple of times per week, but I just haven't felt that I've had anything significant to say here. I've neglected my Live Journal groups to the point that there is no hope of my ever catching up on what I've missed. Oh, well.

Honestly, most of my on-line time now-a-days is devoted to Second Life. If you haven't checked it out, DO! It is freakin' amazing. It's an on-line virtual world where you can build things (and even sell them if you want), go shopping, take classes, go clubbing, interact with others while you do anything from going to church to participating in a BDSM orgy. You can even fly and teleport! The characters (aka avatars) are strikingly realistic. I've met many great friends there and have been having a blast. So yeah...I've been sucked in and I'm loving it. If you sign up, give me your SL name and I'll "friend" you. :)

So, that's where I've been. Where have you been and what have you been up to?

2006-11-22T22:50:00.000-06:00

"Is the glass half-full or empty?" I ask her as I fill it.
She said it doesn't really matter, pretty soon you're bound to spill it.
With the half logical language of the sermon she delivers
And the way she smiles so knowingly at me gives me the shivers.
I pull the blanket higher when I'm finally safe at home.
She'll take a hundred with her, but she always sleeps alone.
The girl with the weight of the world in her hands.

Trials

2006-11-20T11:10:00.000-06:00

I am SO glad this is a short week. Last week was trying to say the least. I try so hard to stay positive, and then something happens that makes you just want to throw your hands up and say "fuck it."

Not that I want to document every shitty thing that happens here - au contraire, I'd rather focus on the good. Some times it's a simple thing that comes along and puts things in perspective. Thank heavens for those things. I had one of those moments this morning.

I was thinking about the ride home from my parent's place last night. We went to visit them since they're heading for Colorado today. The drive is about and hour and a half, and we set out about 6 or so to head home.

We stopped for gas and to air up a tire that was a bit low. We grabbed a few snacks and hit the road. The D-Man chose cheetos and some chocolate milk. Hey, his choices, so whatever but it sounded like a gross combination to me.

Anyway, about 15 miles out of town, D pipes up from the back seat with "Mom, I puked." WHAT?? I was driving, so Chris turned around to check things out and confirmed that he had spewed cheetos and chocolate milk all over his front. Lovely. Fortunately, his sweatshirt took the majority of the hit, and I was able to pull over, get him out of the car because he was threatening to spew again, and get his sweatshirt off without spreading the mess around. He had a shirt on underneath, but was cold so I gave him my jacket. No more puking. Whew. Turns out that was a bad combination after all.

So, on we went down the road. After seeing a large deer hanging out on the side of the road ("Doop de doo, oh, hey! A car!"), I felt fortunate that he hadn't decided to meet my bumper.

We came into the city and hit the freeway to head to our area. As I entered the freeway, that pesky tire that had been low started making an awful noise. Uh oh. I made it about 1/2 mile and BLAM! A blowout. Now, consider that we are on a section of freeway that has no lane to pull over into. Yeah - about 3 feet of space. I pulled off as far as I could and turned on the blinkers. Dodging traffic whipping by at 65 miles per hour, I jumped out and pulled D out of the passenger side while Chris dug the jack out of the trunk and got to work. D and I stood up on the enbankment - there was no way we were sitting in that car in case some idiot rear-ended us - a dangerous situation to say the least.

Now, remember that I had given my jacket to D. It was about 30 degrees and I have no jacket. *shiver* I parked D up there with instructions not to move a muscle, and proceeded to dig the spare out of the trunk. Chris got the shredded tire off and took the spare, and I chucked the trashed tire into the trunk. Team work, I tell ya.

Anyway, getting back to the point, I drove D to school and in to work on a donut this morning. As I drove along and pondered last night's drive, an old favorite came on the radio. The lyrics - that's what put things back into perspective a bit...

Well the first days are the hardest days,
Don't you worry any more
'Cause when life looks like Easy Street
there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

It's the same story the crow told me.
It's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Woh - oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?

No time to dwell on shit like that.
I had a spare, D feels fine and we got home safe, that's all that matters.
Let it flow and let it go.

WTF? It's El Sid's Fault - Really, it is.

2006-11-17T10:09:00.000-06:00

1) What stickers do you have on your car, if any?
A "Dogs Deserve Better - No Chains!" sticker and several small sun/celestial type doohickeys.

2) What posters do you have in your room?
Um...which room? I have a few in the computer room (Grow Hemp for the War, the island I lived on in Paris, a spooky looking witch-type girl...), but not in my bedroom. I'm a grown up now, silly. I took David Cassidy down at least 2 years ago!

3) What do you hear right now?
The very annoying buzzing of my CPU. *smacks CPU*

4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
Bailey's Irish Creme

5) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My head is providing me with a dull ache.

6) If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
No, but Karma and I would share a hearty high-five.

7) What's your job position called?
Marketing dowhateverineedtodotomakeyourshitorganizedandprofessional*gasp* soyoucanmakealotmoremoneythanme Assistant

8) What size ring do you wear?
Which finger, ya dork? They're all different sizes!

9) Do you own a camera phone?
Yes, yes I do, so don't pull any funny stuff around me that you don't want documented.

10) What's your bf/gf birthday?
I can't answer this since I don't have a bf/gf.

11) What was your elementary school's mascot?
A squat, drooly bulldog. He was stinky and made pig noises.

12) What's your favorite bottled water?
Aquafina, I suppose. What difference does it make???

13) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when?
Just saw the Blue Man Group this week. I'm pondering the idea of going to see Supernova, but I'm sure I won't decide until the only seats left will give you a nosebleed.

14) What were you doing at 9 pm last night?
None of your business. Let's just say I was on my hands and knees. *grin*

15) What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
Pumpkin Spice Latte - No, that's not an overweight, burnt-out Spice Girl

16) Do you exercise as much as you should?
Hell, no! Who does?

17) Did you attend your High School prom?
Yes, I did...in a tuxedo. I shit you not.

18) Did you go to someone else's prom?
Hell, no.

19) Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you?
I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A bf/gf! You're not listening, damnit! If I did, however, probably not. Then again, we could get into the whole debate over what really counts as "cheating" and sexual relations and crap. Aw, hell.

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:
Ooooh kaaay.

Something purple within 5 feet of you:
My big honkin' Eddie Bauer water bottle.

How long can you hold your breath underwater?
long enough to sneak up on you and depants you. muuaaaahaha

The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
I don't remember but I'm fairly certain it didn't end well.

How much Japanese do you know?
There was this kinky gal named Keiko who gave me a lapdance...oh. Domo arigato.

Sparkly things?
uh... yeah, the diamond on my finger is sparkly. Does that count?

Ever crash a car, been in accidents?
Never with me driving (knocks on wood) - I've always been the horrified, helpless front seat passenger. Three times. Because of this, I have a tendency to stomp the imaginary brake & gasp a lot - just let me drive.

Do you look good in yellow?
Simply put - no.

Do you sing?
I sure do. I do a wonderful Chester from Linkin Park. Screaming and all.

Ever sang in front of a crowd?
Yes, yes. High School/College musicals & shit. Oh yeah, karaoke. \m/

Do you dance?
Yes indeedy. I even took lessons when I was younger. No, you can't see the pictures.

Is your hair long enough to chew on?
I'd guess if someone wanted to chew on your hair, they are zombies trying to get to your brain and you must immediately hit them in the head with a cricket bat or your life is forfeit. (This was Sid's answer, but I had to leave it because it was fucking brilliant.)

Least favorite color?
pink. You will not catch me wearing pink. It makes me wretch.

Favorite kind of pizza?
Thin crust sausage & mushroom is the standard, but that chicken garlic pie from California Pizza Kitchens is rocking my socks.

Ever had Dippin' Dots?
What the fuck are Dippin' Dots? I guess that would mean no.

Ever played an instrument?
Yup - piano, French horn, trumpet, bass guitar.

How many tickets do u have?
Tickets? Lottery tickets? Concert tickets? BE MORE SPECIFIC, LOSER!!

Do you own your own car?
Yes, I do. Hooray for no car payments!

What kind of car is it?
Chevy Lumina. Boring, but fast and reliable.

Do you want to get married?
Um...been there, done that.

At what age do you want to have kids?
Been there, done that, too.

How many kids?
No more. I really think it wise to avoid contributing to the overpopulation of this fine planet. That, and my sanity would surely suffer should I have any more. Oops, too late for that.

***

You made it this far? Well, bless your freakin' little heart. Here are a couple funnies for you as a reward:

Photoshop madness!

Santa, how COULD you?

My work is done here. Now, comment, damnit! ;p
Out.

2006-11-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

WTFF v.11.10.6 - Video Madness!

2006-11-10T15:07:00.000-06:00

Yay, it's Friday! Damn, this has been a long week.

Here is this weeks crop of (mostly) video WTFness for your enjoyment...

***
...and the Gold Goes TO *insert drumroll*

This:

The sweetest damned .gif avatar I've seen in...well, probably forever. It's now one of my LiveJournal avatars. Yes!

I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE CARPET SHIP!

***
Life of a Bug

This gives quite the interesting perspective on things.

Gone, Daddy, Gone!
Ohhhh kaaaay.

***
Nekkid Magic

This little gem will is giggle-worthy. NSFW, though - if the title doesn't clue you in enough to that.

***
Another Round?

Dude's just a wee bit drunk, methinks.

***
Don't Touch the Swingline!

"That's the last straw. *cachunk*" Bwaaahahaha!

***
Flip, is that You?

Indy_Car_Flips_More_Times_than_Heinz_has_Ketchup

That spectator they show at the end is lucky as hell!

***
Heeeeeey

*snickers*
*deep breath*

Bwaaahahahaha!

***
Definitely WTF

This is one of the most bizarre little movies I've seen in quite a while. WTF is about right.

***
Not so Much WTF - More Humana Humana

Sin City is such a cool movie. ...and then there's Nancy. Mrowr.

***
Well, that's all I've got for today. My apologies to those on dial-up as this one was just cruel of me. *coughgetbroadbandcough* Ahh, the joys of internet video. Endless entertainment, I tell ya.

4 Days until Blue Man Group!!! Woot!

You all have a fantastic weekend!

Can I buy a vowel?

2006-11-08T13:04:00.000-06:00

Is it Friday yet? No? DAMN. It's been one of those weeks, peeps.

I just got back from my kid's school. I got a phone call from his substitute teacher about his behavior (which, obviously, hasn't been good). When they told him he'd have to eat lunch and spend recess in the office, he fell apart. She put him on the phone and he was hysterical. I managed to get him calmed down a little. I went to be with him while he ate and gave him a pep talk. When it was time for me to go, he cried and clung to my neck, begging me to take him with me. Heart ----> broken. I left his school in tears, but managed to hold them in until he could no longer see me.

Then, I did something I never do. I went to the bar, ate lunch and drank margaritas. I do feel a little better, but I can still feel the anxiety stewing around just under the surface.

I must say the day started out nicely, learning that my preferred candidates won the election. I won't gloat, though...that's just not nice.

GO CULVER!

Oops...sorry. heh

There's other crap going on as well, but I just want to ponder it all long enough to put it into words. Life's a bitch.

Now, I think I'll go here and shoot some kittens out of cannons for a while.

It's Voting Day

2006-11-07T09:01:00.001-06:00

We already mailed in our ballotts weeks ago. I'm glad because it prevented all of these assinine ads from skewing my opinions. Someone pointed me at this video to further encourage me to do my civic duty...

Oh, the pink! *shudder*

...and as we know, one things leads to another. That video led to this:

Oh, the holy drunken college flashbacks! *sigh*

Now, go VOTE!

WTF#)&)!@#&^#

2006-11-04T09:30:00.000-06:00

Ah, my dear, sweet blog, I've been neglecting you. My apologies.

It's been a shitty week and I'm cranky. The D-Man has been sickly all week with a horrible ear infection, though his fever finally broke Wednesday. He's been clingy and whiney and generally cranky as well. It's not been fun. Getting him to take his medecine has been trying.

For those who may wonder (or not), my boob-smash appointment went just fine though they are still watching closely. I'm looking forward to going back and having both smashed in two weeks. yay. Perhaps I should schedule an appointment to have a few teeth pulled with no anesthetic as well. You think?

So, it's finally the weekend. A time to relax? Hell no. Here's my agenda for this weekend: (updated w/accomplished items marked as done)

Laundry - as much as possible
~~Clean out sink & run dishwasher~~
clean up kitchen
~~help D pick up his toys~~
~~Feed the snake & clean out his tank~~
vaccum livingroom
~~find D some jeans without holes in the knees~~
~~Take down & put away Halloween decorations~~
clean out shoe shelf & put away summer shoes
~~help D sort out a box full of toys to go to poor kids in Mexico~~
grocery shopping
~~clean tub & toilet~~

Most important:
(and most essential to my sanity)
~~PEDICURE~~

Yes.

I drank far too much vodka last night. My head hurts. Ow.
I just ate scrambled eggs and bacon and now my stomach hurts, too. Joy.

Also on the agenda: smoking about 6 pounds of venison jerky. mmmm
Grilled bambi kabobs last night and they were delish.

I would like to ask a favor of you, though...if you've made it this far. I need a recommendation for what book to read next. I just finished "the Way of the Peaceful Warrior" and it was very good (although I am not a very peaceful warrior today). What's the best book you've ever read? Your input, please.

Stay tuned for further broadcasts on this station.

WTFF v.10.27.6 - Guest Host RainyPete!

2006-10-27T08:55:00.000-05:00

So Celti is swamped and I offered to help out. Here goes a Rainy WTFF for you all to enjoy.

To begin with, it's stupid and crudely animated but what better way to kick off a WTFF than with a wtf end of the world video right?

***

It seems that Halloween has snuck up on us once again so here are a few thing to help you get through your own.

Let's start with the good ol' Jack-O-Lanterns. Are you getting tired of the same old Jack-O-Lanterns? Maybe you need to take some tips from this guy. His efforts make mine seems pretty lame by comparison.

***

If carving isn't your thing then maybe you are looking for some really slick costumes. Then Mark is the man you need to talk to about getting all set up.

***

It's okay to let your nerd flag fly.....just don't get caught or you may fall into Captain Wacky's clutches.

And for the record, these costumes are both hilarious and just plain wrong at the same time

***

don't click this link

***

What's Halloween good for if not scary movies right? Well how about a morning after the scary movie video? Talk about parenting in a manner that I can enjoy!

***

Maybe a nice light snack would do you some good. If you've eaten all that Halloween candy you bought early and found it lacking in substance then it's time for you to get some snack building skills from the Pimp Daddy and his posse

***

If you think you need to get your eyes checked because of the cool animated gifs you see below just make sure you do so before you end up like this lass here.

And my personal favourite

Let's not forget a toilet that would likely sell a terrifying number of units to the female set. Think of it as a bidet with a twist!

***

If you're all worried that this strangeness will throw you off then maybe you should just kick back with a nice butterfly movie.

95 Years

2006-10-26T10:11:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, I managed to get down to Missouri to visit my Grandpa. I don't see him very often because it's quite a long drive. I had to go, though, because his 95th birthday is this week and we took him a birthday cake.

Grandpa was a farmer and a carpenter. He helped build many beautiful, historical buildings in the Schuyler County area, and maintained a 200 acre farm for nearly 70 years. I spent a lot of my summers on that farm, going out at daybreak with Grandpa to feed the cows, check the beans, gather the eggs...whatever needed to be done. It was he and Grandma who taught me to work the land and appreciate it and how to live simply. Yes, a lot of happy, peaceful summers.

Now Grandpa is in a nursing home. Since Grandma passed away 5 years ago, he's been very lonely - they were married for 69 years. Grandpa has macular degeneration and is nearly blind now, so he can no longer read or watch TV. He is becoming more fragile and unsteady every time I see him and I know it's just a matter of time before he leaves us. I really don't think there's much time left. He doesn't have any disease to take him out - I think he'll just drift off to sleep one of these days and never wake up. I hope so, as he's ready. He wants to be with Grandma again. I can't say that I blame him.

The world has changed so much during Grandpa's lifetime...

When Grandpa was born:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47.

A 3-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in the US. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2500 per year, a veterinarian between $1500 and $4000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5000 per year.

More than 95% of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had no college education. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "sub-standard."

Sugar cost 4 cents a pound.

Eggs were 14 cents a dozen.

Coffee was 15 cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

The Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were Pneumonia and influenza, Tuberculosis, Diarrhea, Heart disease, and Stroke in that order.

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona , Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was only 30.

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

20% of U.S. adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

18% of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.

How different the world is now. I wonder what the world will be like when I am 95, if I make it that long.

It's the Simple Things

2006-10-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

It really is...those little moments in life that give so much joy.

My son jumping with glee after making a goal in a soccer game.

My pumpkin spice latte and the way it warms all the way down.

My new fleece pajama pants. You see, I hardly ever buy anything for myself. Almost without fail, I go shopping and bring things home for the boys and nothing for me.

Anyway, all my pajamas are all in pretty sad shape - old and wearing out. I was out birthday shopping for D when I passed a rack of the softest, cutest pajama pants. I stopped and looked at them. They were on sale for $13 and had my name written all over them. I chose the lime green ones with the black polka dots and black kitties peeking out of shopping bags. They feel wonderful - I can't wait to put them on when I get home. ...all for $13. *sigh*

There are so many challenges in life, things to worry about, stresses to stew over. We all need to put them aside now and then and, like last night, curl up with my little boy, a book and my jammie pants. We have a date for the same tonight. ...that is, after I stop by the store and buy another pair with coffee cups on them. :)

WTFF v.10.20.6

2006-10-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

Woot woot! It's Friday, folks! Here is this week's crop of WTFness for your enjoyment. I must thank the illustrious RainyPete for his contributions. Thanks, Pete! It seems that next week, Pete will be doing WTFF Friday for me - that's right, a Guest Host! Yes, you all will be subjected to his own special brand of weird and then you'll all understand why I adore him (or maybe not, that is if you don't understand me...never mind). It work out nicely for me, since I'll be deep in last-minute birthday preparations by then. D's birthday is next Sunday.

***
MySpace

So...I finally caved and set up a MySpace page. Yeah, I know... I wanted to be able to comment on some of my friends' pages (you started it, Sidra!). You can check out my page here. If you have a MySpace, please add me. I wouldn't want to be one of those "uncool" ones with no friends. *sniff* (*snort*)

***
Just Because

***
Jackhammer Rampage

Got some pent up frustrations to work out? Bunnies and destruction just might be the ticket (actually this whole site is whacked out).
Run, bunny, ruuuun!

***
Chinese Robin Hood?

I've done my fair share of shooting with a compound bow and, simply put, this dude's accuracy is astounding. wow.

***
Gif time!

Yes, yes, I loves me some groovy .gif files. My favorites for this week:

- by the way, you see this shit on MySpace all the time and I DO NOT DO THE BLINKIES, PEOPLE. They make me feel all nervous & shit. heh

***
Do they really need instructions?

I mean, it's really not that tough to figure out how to get your Mile High Club membership. For those who need help... *rolls eyes*

***
Awesome!

This is one of the best things I've seen on youtube in quite a while.

When LP Covers Attack!
\m/

***
Christ on a ...Good Lord!

Man, people can spot Jesus anywhere. The latest:

They've even animated it so you can see it better. What I want to know is why was some idiot staring for that long at this dog's butt.
Story here.
*rolls eyes again*

***
Page Full of Lies

Hmmm... thought provoking.

***
Whee! I'm a Megastar!

There's a fun little PhotoShop contest thingy going on over on the Blue Man Group website. I participated and they put up both of my entries! Check out my handiwork here. Mine are the first two (Queen and the Ramones in case they've moved). HEEHEE!
Just a little over three weeks until the show!

***
All right, that's it for today. I've got to get some work done. No, not that kind of work! Sheesh!
You all have a fantastic weekend!

Thanks for Your Time

2006-10-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

Thank YOU for the time you spend coming here to see what I have to say.

WTFF - v.10.13.6 - Friday the 13th

2006-10-13T15:51:00.000-05:00

So, it's Friday the 13th. I, personally, do not subscribe to the superstition that this is an unlucky day - hell, 13 is my lucky number. For many, however, a Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck (in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the globe, anyway).

Similar superstitions exist in some other traditions. In Greece and Spain, for example, Tuesday the 13th takes the same role. The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia, a specialized form of triskaidekaphobia, a phobia (fear) of the number thirteen.

Strangely, there is evidence to suggest that Friday the 13th is actually unlucky. Psychologists have found that some people are especially likely to have accidents or fall ill on Friday the 13th. This has been attributed to such people feeling a heightened state of anxiety on that day (nocebo effect). The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina estimates that in the United States alone, $800 or $900 million is lost in business each Friday the 13th because people will not fly or do business as they would normally do.

Wussies. lol

Anyway...I've thrown in a little creepiness in honor of the "holiday". heh

***
Torture!

Ahh, the delights of the web are forever bringing us new games to entertain ourselves with. Here, you can bring out the vindictive evil in yourselves and torture a celebrity you hate or a former friend or enemy. Brought to us by the twisted minds that are also bringing us Saw III, it's quite morbid and, if you can get past that, kind of entertaining. I had a jolly good time torturing Jessica Simpson. Woot!

***
Would you get on?

Chomp!

***
Yikes!

Do you hate housecleaning? Are you ashamed of what a mess your place has become? Well, these lovely abodes will make you feel much better. Crack, anyone?

***
Computer Geek or Cold Blooded Killer?

Can you tell them apart just by their picture? Try out this killer quiz. I got 5 out of 10: "Not bad, but it might be best to avoid career in law enforcement or IT recruitment." HA HA

***
Dark Cut

Ahh, another sick and morbid game for your enjoyment. Bag your surgery degree treating impaled limbs, plague boils and other unsightly medieval ailments in Dark Cut. I messed up my patient every time, damnit.

***
Talk About Bad Luck!

Um, let's just say don't drink from the faucet during a thunderstorm - especially today! OUCH!

***
Political Rhapsody

For a little bit of comic relief, this is a bit dated, but a real knee-slapper nonetheless.

***
Jason Lives!

I'll close this edition with a tribute to the Friday the 13th movie series.

Let the bodies hit the floor!

***
Everyone have a great weekend and stay safe! Muuuuaaaaahahaha!

Free Hugs

2006-10-12T11:39:00.000-05:00

This video made me smile like an idiot.

I think it should be shared with everyone.
*hugs*

UPDATE - Friday morn: I found a little history on this...
Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.

As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person...

He's apparently from Sydney, Australia...and the phenomenon is spreading! Here's an interview with the free hugs king.

Open Up My Head and Let Me Out

2006-10-11T10:02:00.000-05:00

...little baby! So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say...

It's amazing how loud a cat can "yell" at you when you are out of cat food. Where was he when I was at the store scratching my chin last night!?

I went out on a limb and bought some mountain fresh scented laundry soap last night. In years past, such an endeavor would leave me all itchy, pink and bumpy. I've been experimenting with perfumed lotions and such for a while and haven't had any problems, so perhaps I've outgrown it. Fingers crossed, folks - it would be nice to have good smelling laundry!

Once again, my procrastination has poised itself to bite me in the butt. There's a freeze warning for tonight here, and I haven't harvested my herbs yet. Damn. Guess what I'm doing as soon as I get home? Yep.

Parent/Teacher conferences are this afternoon. This should be interesting. It's not like I don't already know what's been going on so far, so I really don't expect any surprises. We'll see.

Speaking of D, it's been a while since I posted a pic of my little man, so here's this fall's soccer picture. He's trying to look all tough. Ha ha! He has been playing quite well this season, averaging 3 to 4 goals each game - much better than last year. Now if he can just avoid getting into fights with mouthy opponents (such as the little turd last Saturday that kept calling D and his team mates losers), it will be a dandy season. I was so proud of D for not pummeling him. What was so great was that, during the game, turd-boy was knocked flat on his face by a crowd of kids going after the ball and then the ball was immediately kicked, whapping him right upside the head. Ha! Turd, meet Karma. Oh yeah, and D's team won!

Crock pots rule. I made a kick-ass pork roast with mushrooms yesterday in mine, came home, heated up some green beans and had dinner on the table within 1/2 hour. Kachaa!

So, have you heard that CBS and YouTube are entering a partnership deal, where CBS will provide daily short content from it's various programming, and in return will split revenue from adjacent ads? YouTube is also signing deals with Sony BMG and Universal Music Group. Not only will this kick up their content, it'll let those companies keep an eye out for copyright violations and probably save YouTube a few lawsuits. Announced on the same day, Google is buying YouTube. So, all that extra and premium content is now in Google's hands. Needless to say, this just catapulted Google ahead in the portal race, significantly. (Thanks, Archmage)

Chris' dad invited Chris to learn and subsequently take over his accounting business and we are so excited! It's really been a boost to his self-esteem as he always thought that the business would be passed along to his older brother or would just eventually close. I think Chris will do a great job and, with his current customer base and my marketing ideas to bring in new business, it should provide great opportunities for our family. He's been going in to work with his dad for 2 hours every day after he gets of work to learn the ropes. It's going quite well so far. His dad is so proud of him and so relieved that the business won't simply dissolve when he retires or passes away. It's a win-win all the way around.

I bought a nice little HP printer for home several months ago. It's been nice, but it finally ran out of toner. Well, I work for a company that sells toner, so I priced a cartridge (at cost, mind you) yesterday for my printer. The damn toner costs more than I paid for the printer!!! Gah! What to do...

Lost is on tonight! Woot! That is all.

WTFF on Sunday!

2006-10-08T08:55:00.001-05:00

My sincerest apologies for my tardiness in posting. I've simply been busy. Busy working (and working!) and having arguments with insurance companies, and fixing PCs that my friends have gotten all jacked up and trying to find ways to help D behave in school and getting ready for a birthday party and shopping for said birthday and visiting with parents and running to soccer practice and games and learning to use QuarkExpress and sharpening my skills on illustrator... You get the picture.

So, here it is, eight friggin' something on a Sunday morning and I'm posting.

We all know that we've got some major WTF stuff going on in the news these days. Well, I thought I'd try something different this week, and provide for you several of the ones from this week that really made me say "WTF?".

Oregon Bakery worker trapped face down in the dough.

Police prank leads to pothead taking a dive

It puts the lotion on its skin

For Allah's sake, don't masturbate on purpose during Ramadan!

Party in the streets as pedophile's house burns

They talked about fight club!

Nothing like seeing a monkey whip a dog.

Don't talk back to Dick!

...and last, but not least - my favorite WTF picture of the week:

heh

2006-10-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

Just a few things:

Second Life is awesome.
Lost Season 3 starts tonight.
Behavioral Psychologists are slow.
I am impatient.
Teachers are impatient.
Wisconsin rocks.
PORK!

Just shoot me. UPDATED

2006-10-01T08:48:00.000-05:00

Things have not been going well - not at all.

The D-Man is having major problems in school. I never realized how much something like this could affect me, but it's just about all I can think about. I want so badly for him to succeed and be happy, and I just can't make it happen. The frustration is insurmountable.

Things really haven't gone too well since he started preschool there. He would be rowdy, running around, wouldn't sit down, bothering the other kids - nothing malicious or mean, just wanting attention I suppose. He showed a newfound delight in running away from the teachers which was obviously not well received.

Kindergarten started about a month ago and, honestly, it feels like it's been three months. I hoped that he would respond well to the more structured environment and that he would feel more challenged as boredom seemed to be an issue in preschool. Wrong. His behavior has only gotten worse. He won't stay in his seat, doesn't follow directions, clowns around, runs and runs, won't line up...just acts generally uncooperative. He KNOWS what's right and wrong and what he's supposed to be doing, he just doesn't do it. The teacher will ask him "what should you be doing/should you have done" and he always has the right answer. He's always sorry, but just can't seem to stop doing all this crap.

This completely blows me away, because D is usually a very well behaved kid. At home, at Grandma's, with the sitter, anywhere else he is polite, cooperative and relatively calm. I can't understand how being at school transforms him into a completely different kid. They've even said that they can see a huge difference in him when I'm there with him. How can I get him to behave for them the way he does for me???

D likes school and I want it to stay that way. I don't want him to be discouraged or have his self-confidence suffer, but this has got to stop! Yesterday, he ran out of the after-school room again, took off his shoes and threw them and then locked himself in a bathroom stall, laughing merrily. As a result, they suspended him from the after school program for a week. Now I have to skip my lunch every day to go pick him up at three, deliver him to his grandma or whoever will take him and come back to work until 5. It sucks eggs. I could write an entire post about my opinions and observations regarding the seemingly completely incompetent after-school care staff, but maybe another day.

So, with D's behavior, we've tried charts on which he gets stars for good behavior (or at this point, normal) in each activity. We've tried the same thing at home, and rewards are involved on both ends. I've sat and talked with his teacher for what seems like hours, sharing ideas and making sure we're consistent and on the same page, and nothing we have done seems to make any difference. I've talked and talked with D about it, and he promises to try to do better. He's even told me that he just can't help it. It just breaks my heart.

This whole situation has caused me a HUGE amount of stress and sometimes I start to feel like I just can't handle it any more. I don't know what to do, what to try next - I'm out of ideas. Every time my phone rings here at work I practically have a panic attack because it could be the school calling to complain about something else he's done. What the hell do they want me to tell them?!? I feel like one of those bad parents who doesn't bother to teach their kid to behave and then they're miserable because they're so bad. That's just not the case, though - at home he knows how to tow the line. I'm sure the school employees and teachers think I'm full of shit and completely incompetent. It's totally humiliating.

So, the only thing I could think of to do at this point is to seek professional help. Monday, we have an appointment to see a pediatric behavioral psychologist. Hopefully he can help us as I really can't take much more. I'm at the point now that if I think about it too much, I start crying. I'll never give up, but that doesn't mean that I don't just want to go find a huge rock to crawl under. Instead, I did what I must (dinner, bath, reading, all that), put D to bed and then drank myself to sleep last night. I dreamed about a huge tornado coming to get me. I feel like that would be easier to handle.

Oh, and due to the overwhelming response to my request for fun/weird things for WTFF this week *coughONEcough* (thanks, Vince)...aw, fuck it. Where's that rock?

SUNDAY, OCT 1
Update

I've received a lot of good feedback as a result of this post and I am grateful for it. One particular e-mail, however, mentioned that I seem powerless about the situation. I think it should be made clear that I am far from powerless. This post was written in a particularly dark time when I was feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. A lot of details were obviously left out as I was trying to work through my frustrations and, well, just generally complaining and venting.

We have tried and are trying many different constructive approaches to try to overcome this.

Some issues that were asked about:

He does have a very predictable routine.

He does have a set time for bed.

I try to always make nutritious meals and we always eat together at the table in the evening. Snacks are things such as fruit, granola bars, yogurt...there is VERY little junk food eating in our house. His lunches are made with sandwiches, cheeses, fruits and yogurt instead of sugary things like snack cakes. His sugar intake is very minimal. I also give him a good multivitamin and DHA

He is only in daycare for 1 - 2 hours per day, and after school only

We make sure that he is highly praised and rewarded for good behavior and accomplishments. He gets a lot of attention from us and is rarely excluded from any of our activities.

Although we do discuss things a lot, we also use things such as losing priveledges often as consequences - such as no TV, no movies, not getting to do something he really wants at the time. If a particular toy is being abused, it is taken away, for example, after a couple of warnings. On the other side of the coin, he is given special opportunities as rewards for good behavior such as going to see special movie or getting ice cream.

I know that I need to separate myself emotionally somewhat from the situation and be objective and rational - getting too emotional about it will only complicate matters.

This post was my emotional release, so please take it at that.

I'll be very interested to see what the behavioral psych can bring to the table to help us help him.
I realize that this will take a lot of work and dillegence, but he is so very worth it.

WTFF v.9.22.6 - Um...I dunno.

2006-09-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo! It's Friday and that means another edition of WTFF, peeps! It's been a long week, so I'm sure we could all use some giggles...

***
Good Gifs

Y'all know that I'm a freak for .gif files.
My favorites for this week:

***
Oh Nooooes!

Ben Affleck does an interview and attempts to do the interviewer. He's got to be drunk or on ecstasy or something.
Heeheehee

***
Code Geek's Sign Off

heh

***
Um...

Don't you hate it when you find notes that you obviously wrote yourself but have no idea what they mean!? I pulled out a note pad just now, and read this:

Troll assist W
Prairie village

What?? *scritch*

***
Tattoo of the Week

Very clever. Heh

***
Dang!

Can you say "too much time on your hands"?
That's freaking amazing.

***
Even Closer

Star Trek geekdom meets Nine Inch Nails perversion. I love it!

***
Freaky

This is a video of a giant doll. It is operated somewhat like a marionette, but it's huge!

These video stills show just how huge she is. She is so realistic; it's fascinating and somewhat disturbing at the same time.

***
Amazingly Crazy

This comic/stunt man/whatever he is has a death wish, I swear
Check this out.

***
heehee

What would YOU put in the speech bubbles?

***
Well, that's all I've got for today. This weekend is Oktoberfest (WHY do they have it in September?!?) so we'll be enjoying some bratwurst and lederhosen. Heh heh

I would like to make next week's edition a reader submission post, so PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send me your wierdness - your links, your stories, your pictures. Send them to meee! Celticcross at gmail.com. Do it! Thankyaverymuch.

You all have a fantastic weekend!

Heading for the Blues

2006-09-20T16:48:00.000-05:00

For our anniversary less than a month ago, I bought a Blue Man Group DVD for Chris. I got the idea when we were watching them on a PBS special and we both thought they were awesome. I've always thought they were funny, but had never really seen them perform before that. We were hooked.

We've watched the DVD at least 5 times since then.

Well, Chris' birthday is tomorrow. I happened to find out that the Blue Man Group will be coming through our area on tour in November, so Chris is getting 2 tickets for his birthday (taking me, of course. Lol)

On past tours and projects, they've worked together with Dave Matthews, Tracy Bonham, Venus Hum and many others. I hope they have some cool guests coming on tour with them this time. They're keeping it rather hush hush so far.

They're doing this thing where you pre-register your cell phone and you participate in interactive text messaging during the concert. It's called mobkastr and sounds like it will be pretty cool. I, of course, have already registered. Woot!

We can't wait to see them - looks like it's going to be a really cool experience.

Here is one of my favorite songs/videos of theirs, for your enjoyment:

Shouldn't be Surprised urp

2006-09-19T09:58:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, I discovered that the sugar-free fruit flavored soda I'd been drinking mixes very nicely with vodka. You can mix them really strong & they still taste good, so you can get your buzz on rather quickly.

Well...

Considering the amount of stress I'd been handling, and other factors - hell, I have no idea why, but I started enjoying a couple of drinks late in the evening to wind down. You know how it goes - a couple of drinks becomes a few, each having a few shots in them, getting a bit stronger, and in a short while I found my self imbibing these tasty and very relaxing treats pretty much every night and in large quantities.

Now, I've done my fair share of drinking throughout my life, but it's never been what I would refer to as an "issue." I never got hangovers - could get completely hammered and be just fine the next morning. Alas, as one gets a bit older, the body changes and handles things differently. *sigh*

After a couple of months of peach (my favorite flavor) vodkas, I've been feeling the effects to an alarming extent. I've noticed that my kidneys hurt some times and I've been getting horrible stomach aches in the mornings. I also noticed that, when I cut myself, I bleed like crazy - there have been a few times that I had a terrible time getting the bleeding to stop. Even though I haven't changed my eating, I've gained a little weight (much to my dismay). I've had a lot of nose bleeds, and have been suffering from frequent headaches. I've also been having this very annoying trouble with clenching my jaw so that the muscles hurt.

I've also noticed that my tolerance is building up quite a bit. I'll spare myself the embarrassment of telling you how much I've been consuming - let's just say it's a lot.

It's been almost like a sick kind of experiment, really. Now, I'm not stupid nor am I particularly fond of this kind of pain and discomfort. As of about last Friday, I stopped drinking the peach vodkas. You know what? I'm feeling MUCH better! Amazing, eh? Quit abusing yourself and your body recovers rather quickly.

So, last night, after several days "off," I had a couple of peach vodkas. This morning, I'm paying the price. I awoke to a dull ache in the head and a wonderfully crampy stomach. I guess that's that - no more peach vodkas for me.

I've never had an addictive personality - hell, I quit smoking cold-turkey and never had problems with any cravings. I can see how someone could become an alcoholic, though. I'm glad my body has sent me so many signals saying "stop, damnit!" so that I can stop before it becomes an addiction. I get the hint! Sheesh!

Considering all this (as if it isn't enough!) and the recent health scare I had, I'm done. So, here's to drying up and getting back on track with my weight loss - and feeling "normal" again. Cheers!

WTFF v.9.15.6 - Worth 1000

2006-09-15T12:26:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo! It's Friday! I thought today would be a good day to forego all the blah blah blah and provide you with some of the most fabulous WTF pictures I've gathered recently...

Beware the dreaded K9 unit.

Can anyone tell me what the HELL is up with this statue?

Carmen Electra's hair lives up to her name:

She must be a shareholder in Aquanet

Doood, these greens are aahhhhhhsome!

"hum dee dum"

Poor guy...maybe he needed some of this:

Too much cat smack, though, and he might end up looking like this!

Dang cats, anyway. lol

*snort* - Sorry, couldn't resist. *chortle*

Iraq security patrol encounter Osama's new defense plan

Heh heh

Problem solved.

...and there ya have it. Have a great weekend!

One of the Most Beautiful Words

2006-09-14T13:06:00.000-05:00

...in the English language?

Benign

I don't have cancer.

Of course, I have to keep going back to keep "checking on" things and make sure nothing develops, but I've got the all clear for now.

I can't even tell you how relieved I am. Thanks so much to all of you who offered words of support and encouragement. It means a lot to me. Nothing like a little episode like this to reevaluate your life and what's most important to you.

*whew*

Life is beautiful.

Facing the Music

2006-09-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

Isn't it funny how we swallow our fear and let it eat away at our insides? Why do we do that?

Some of you may have noticed that I've been unusually quiet lately - haven't blogged much, have been reading but not commenting much, haven't been responding to comments - just haven't been myself. It's because I've had a lot more than usual on my mind.

Today, I am going to see a surgeon who is a breast specialist. I will have a digital mammogram to determine if I have breast cancer. There are a few "calcifications" I have in one breast that they have been watching the last couple of years with mammograms every six months.

A dear friend of mine just had a mastectomy due to a very agressive form of breast cancer - and hers started exactly the same as what I have going on - calcifications. She recommended that I go see her specialist, and I thought it a good idea as I'm tired of doing what, to me, has effectively been "beating around the bush" with these mammograms. The digitals are supposed to be much more revealing and can catch what's going on earlier, so I'm getting one to get to the bottom of this. I'm tired of wondering what will happen.

I know that these "calcifications" are not that uncommon and that they are normally nothing to be concerned about, but I can't ignore them. The thought of having...well, cancer, frankly scares the shit out of me. My little boy needs me and what if it takes me away from him? I simply cannot stand the thought of not being there to see him grow up.

I tried to call my best friend to see if she would go with me, but she hasn't been answering her phone. I didn't ask Chris to go because I don't want to worry him, have him miss work and I honestly haven't wanted to admit how afraid I am. Stupid, I know.

Aw shit, I can't type this any more or I'm going to make myself cry. I have my giant envelope of films and off I go to determine my fate. The only way I can think of facing it is exactly as I am - head on.

I'm scared, people, but I have to do this. Denial, in a situation like this, can cost you your life.

Shawn E. Powell - His Glass Was Full

2006-09-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

About a Month ago, my wonderful friend Nanner posted a note about a project called the 2996 Project. The goal of the project was to have one individual blogger pay tribute to each and every single victim of the 9/11 tragedy. I signed up for the project, and I was asked to pay tribute to Shawn Edward Powell, Age 32, a NYC Firefighter who died in the collapse of the WTC.

Shawn Powell

On August 28, the 2996th name was assigned a blogger, assuring that the project would be complete. For more information about the project, you can also go here.

On September 11, 2001, I came home early from work where a hundred employees crowded into a tiny break room staring at an equally tiny television in disbelief. I sat at home watching the television coverage, hugging my 11 month old son tight and feeling such a huge spectrum of emotions that I was overwhelmed. Anger, frustration, helplessness, fear, anxiety and so many more ripped through my mind. I cried and cried. I remember telling my baby that the whole world changed today and he's too little to understand. I knew that he, like the rest of us, wouldn't truly understand this day's impact for many years to come.

After five years, I thought that I had run out of tears for those lost on 9/11/2001 and what that day did to our country. I was wrong. While researching for and putting together this tribute, I read and watched tribute after tribute and read survivor stories and stories of heroism, and I have shed what seems like at least 2996 more tears.

I am honored to pay tribute to Shawn and the rest of the 2996.

I wasn't able to find very much information about Shawn on-line but what I did find told me that Shawn E. Powell was a firefighter with a soft touch. An exceptional man of courage and dedication, he worked at Engine Company 207 in downtown Brooklyn. Whether he was there, at home in Crown Heights, or camping with his 5 year-old son, Joshua, he had a way of lifting spirits. "If there wasn't any fun going on, he would find a way," said Matthew Dwyer, a fellow firefighter. "With Shawn, the glass was half full, never half empty."

Firefighter Powell brought unusual skills to the Fire Department. An artist and woodcarver, he had built props and volunteered at several New York City theaters, including the Apollo Theater, and studied architecture at New York Technical College.

At Engine Company 207 - where the slogan is "The House of Misfit Toys" because of the company's specialized, somewhat bizarre-looking fire-fighting equipment, Mr. Powell made the point in comic relief with a poster that includes a square-wheeled fire engine.

Firefighter Powell and his wife, Jean, who had been teenage sweethearts in Brooklyn, married in 1989. Their son, Joshua, was 5 years old when his father was taken from him. Theirs has been a long road back to normalcy, if that's what you can call it without Shawn.

I hope that Jean and Joshua Powell have found peace and solace, and that Jean is doing everything she can to assure that Joshua remembers what an exceptional man his father was (as I know she is). He was, and still is, a hero.

Another beautiful tribute to all of the FDNY firefighters can be found here.

Thank you, Shawn, for making the ultimate sacrifice to help others. You will not be forgotten.

Culinary Delights

2006-09-06T10:31:00.000-05:00

Feeling better today - I'm not sure what got me in such a funk yesterday but I guess I just needed to whine.

I've been exploring some new ideas in the kitchen lately, and I must say that several of them have been smashing! Thought I'd share...

Pork Chops
I have always liked pork chops - would normally do them on the grill or with shake-n-bake but that seemed boring. One evening I got a wild hair and thought that maybe breaking the chops before slapping them on the grill would be good. I didn't want to over-do it, but the results were fabulous.

I mixed together some seasoned bread crumbs (Old London are the best I've found) and some Lawry's season salt and coated the chops with the mixture - no egg or milk, just used the naturaly wetness of the chops. I then grilled them, turning them often. I've done this several times now and they come out so moist and tasty! Mmmm. I got brave last night and used "Iowa chops" instead of the regular ones. "Iowa chops" are simply fat pork chops - they cut them at about 1" thick. You have to cook them slower to make sure they get done all the way through, but damn they were good.

Egg in the Basket
I discovered a treat that I suspect has been around for a long time - I just didn't know about it. Until I did a little googline, we were calling it "eggy bread" but in Europe that's what is known here as French toast. I discovered this morning delight while watching V for Vendetta - it's the egg in bread that V makes for Evey for breakfast. You cut a hole in the center of your buttered slice of bread and drop an egg in the hole and fry it up in a skillet. It's awesome and I've become stuck on them. Is this a British thing?

Beef Stew
I've tried to make beef stew several times, but it's always turned out badly. The beef always comes out tasteless - like meat that's been boiled in water for far too long. Well, this time I got it right. I looked on-line at some recipes, and used an Irish beef stew recipe from Epicurious.com as my base. I sauteed the stew meat in butter (it said veg. oil, but butter's better!) with lost of minced garlic. Then, I added beef broth, Worcestershire sauce and seasonings and simmered it for about 45 minutes. I then sauteed all the vegetables in butter and added them to the stew. Cooked it for another 45 minutes or so and it ROCKED. This stew was a vegetable explosion - I added green beans, corn, onions, green peppers, celery, potatoes, okra, carrotts and asparagus. Damn it was good. I have to giggle when I eat it, though, because my son and his father refer to farting on eachother as "beef stew". I have no idea why. lol

Garlic Bread Pizza
This is nothing of my making, just a freezer-section discovery, but it's worth mentioning. DiGiorno is now making a "garlic bread pizza" that we tried for the first time a few nights ago. DAMN, it was good. Now, I am a huge garlic bread freak (though I've been depriving myself for the last year or so) so this was right up my alley. The best way to describe it is that the crust is made of garlic bread. I got the "four cheese" variety, loaded on some mushrooms and italian sausage and it was THE BOMB. It's a carb-counters nightmare, but hey - you've got to live now and then!

Damn, now I'm really hungry. Fortunately, I have a big fat Iowa chop waiting at home for me for lunch. Mmmmmm!

Feels Like Monday

2006-09-05T09:19:00.000-05:00

Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, was killed. He was swimming with a stingray (on film, mind you) and the stingray speared him through the heart with it's poisonous barb. He pulled the barb out of his heart and died right there. I'm really sad because he was a huge nature/wildlife advocate and I liked him a lot.

RIP Crocodile Hunter

There was a lot more to this post, but I decided to move it. If you are particularly interested in reading my whiney drivel, then go here. That's where I may end up if I decide to completely dump blogger.

There's so much more just under the surface. *scritch*

Did it ever occur to you how screwed up it is that people say "Hi, how are you?" when they greet you? Half of the time they don't even listen to your answer and the expected response is "oh, fine, you?". Have you noticed how it throws people off and they get all uncomfortable and fidgety when you say "Horrible, and you?"

I think I need coffee.

WTFF v.9.1.6 - Long Weekend!

2006-09-01T12:30:00.000-05:00

I've been sicker than shit all week. Today is the first day that I haven't had to dope myself up to get out of the house. I can't afford to miss any work, so I've been schlepping myself in to the office all week and I am SO glad it's Friday. I am so ready to just kick back and relax. Plans? HA! I don't WANT to make any plans - just chill.

OK, no more whining. On to the fun stuff, eh?

***
Good Gifs

Y'all know that I'm a freak for .gif files. My favorites for this week feature some of my favorite characters from movies/TV:

Damn, I miss these commercials. This guy is just so silly, he always made me smile.

Yes! Season three of Lost begins in just a wee bit over a month!

Wheee! Name that character.

***
Slow Mo Home Depot

This is just too funny. I want to participate in one of these things but they never do fun stuff like this in Iowa. Hmmm...

***
Eat Your Peas!

Here's a cute and creepy cartoon that caught my evil eye. The D-Man likes peas, so he WON'T be seeing this!
Eat yer PEEES!

***
Put that thing...

In a book! "This book contains no nudity. No profanity. No sexual material of any kind. And yet it just might be the most obscene thing we've ever published!
Penis Pokey is an illustrated board book with a large die-cut hole in its center. Every spread features a dazzling full-color illustration with one thing missing—a banana, perhaps, or a fire hose, or a sea serpent. Male readers can complete the illustrations using the talents God has given them.
Are we serious? Yes! Is this funny? Absolutely! Will this be a terrific hit with college students, bachelorette parties, and exhibitionists of all ages? Of course! Penis Pokey is far and away the strangest and funniest novelty book we've seen in a long, long time."
Get your copy here: at Amazon.
Now I know what to get for the man who...never mind. lol

***
Too Freakin' Cute

These have got to be quadrulplets. I feel sorry for the mom, but they sure seem to be having a good time! It almost makes me want to have another one...almost. heh

***
Whoa, dude!

Here is the place to go if you have a lot of time on your hands and like things that are "trippy." It gets weirder the more you play with it (does that sound bad? lol).
Mezzowave

***
Sweet!

I really like this tattoo:

I'm looking for designs for my next ink, and this one is #1 as of this date. What do you think?

***
World's Top 100

This is a pretty cool page: www.hillmanwonders.com
It's the 100 top wonders of the world. So far, I've seen:
Grand Canyon
Louvre Museum
Carlsbad Caverns
Chartres Cathedral
Mont St. Michel
Eiffel Tower
NYC Skyline
Yellowstone National Park
Niagara Falls
Acropolis/Parthenon
Delphi
Versailles
Chateau Chambord

13 down, 87 to go. That's quite a challenge. Where've you been?

***
Sea Monster!

Once again brought to us by the amazing eBay, you've all missed your opportunity to own your own sea monster. The auction is over, and the guy got $1500 for it! I think it looks fake, but the guy insists it's real. It IS creepy, I'll give him that. Sure would scare the shit out of me to encounter this while deep-sea diving.

Meep!

***
Well, that's all I have for today. I do, however, feel compelled to mention my EXTREME DISPLEASURE regarding the rumor (gads, I hope it's only a rumor) that John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson! WTF!?!?! He is so much smarter than that! John, say it isn't so!

Anyway...you all have a fantastic weekend, now. ...and remember, comments make Celti a happy girl!

*smooch*

2006-08-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

Congested Brain

2006-08-28T14:40:00.000-05:00

The D-Man is simply right as rain, but now my melon has been invaded by nasty snot-manufacturing monsters. It feels like it's about 3 feet thick and weighs 50 pounds. So, just to prove to myself that it really is still working and I haven't blown half of my brain out into a tissue, I had to test it...

There is more than meets the eye:

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, mekas it psoslbie. It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are - the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

This one is my favorite:

What do you see?

Holy Fungi (or should it be bacteria?), Batman!

2006-08-25T12:39:00.000-05:00

Why does the mushroom get invited to all the parties?
'cause he's a fungi. heh

Good gawd, has it been a trying week. Besides the usual money juggling (robbing Peter to pay Paul) and working, laundry, cooking, cleaning, & blahbitty blah, my baby got sick.

Tuesday night, the D-Man mentioned that he wasn't feeling too well. About 9pm as I put him to bed, I noted that he had a fever. I knew I was going to be in for a long night.

Now, I usually try not to give him anything for the fever unless he's really burning up. His doctor says it's best to "let the fever do it's job". So, I was up about once every 1 1/2 hours checking on him, making sure he's sleeping ok and isn't getting too hot. He got up at seven, bless his little heart (GAH!), fever still burning away. He complained that his throat hurt, so I knew it would be off to the doctor for the two of us. We went that afternoon and, sure as shit, he had strep throat. Yay! Add another $35 to the "things we can't afford but have to pay for" file. Sheesh.

So, I got him going on the antibiotics and we stayed home all day Wednesday and Thursday. We watched a lot of TV and movies, we played with legos and bionicles, I taught him to play chess at his request. That's right - chess. He wanted to play again and again.

He was very clingy and needy so there was no getting on-line and no breaks, but I enjoyed spending the last two days with my pre-school boy attached at the hip. Yes, sadly, this little illness caused him to miss his last day of preschool and his first day of Kindergarten. I was so sad about that but what are you going to do? So he started Kindergarten today. *snif*

You know what sucks, though? It's not over yet. Last night, I noticed that he was a bit red around the eyes and his face looked kind of blotchy. I didn't think too much of it, but this morning when we got up it was much worse! He looks like someone punched him in both eyes, though he said it doesn't hurt or itch. I called the Dr. who said it could be a reaction to the medication, so he said to stop that one and start a new one that he called in to the pharmacy. *cha ching* *sigh* I really hope that takes care of the problem. I worry so much.

What day is it again? Oh, yeah! Friday. I have NOTHING prepared for WTFF since I gather most of that stuff on Wed. & Thurs. Sorry. I got into work this morning fully prepared to frantically seek out some goodies for you, only to have the power to the entire eastern section of down town lose power. I have no windows in my office and I can't tell you how freakin' dark it was in here. I'm so smart to keep a flash light in my desk. Anyway, we had no power for about 2 hours and now, alas, I must work. I didn't want to leave you hangin', though. Here I am. *yawn* I'm freakin' exhausted.

I love my job.

2006-08-21T16:48:00.000-05:00

Rob, a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana performs underwater repairs on offshore Drilling rigs. Here is an e-mail from Rob to his sister reporting in...

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work...think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, "Is this a jellyfish bad
day?"

WTFF v.8.18.6

2006-08-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

Hooray for Friday and welcome to another addition of WTF Friday!

Shall we?

***
Good Gifs

Y'all know that I'm a freak for .gif files. They're just so cool. Here are my fave finds for the week:

***
Sick & Wrong

This game is a bit disturbing, but surprisingly fun. Oh, those poor mice.
Fuzzy McFluffenstein

***
Dirty Car?

Don't wash it! Create art!

Damn, these are amazing.

***
Treadmill Rock

I've seen these guys before, but this one is really original and quite entertaining. Clever blokes.

***
Damn Wierd

crazy-ass asian magnetic spandex boy censorship Just go there. *snort* (Not particularly safe for work, but very funny.) It takes all kinds, I tell ya...

***
Damn Freaky

Though I know it's been five years, you might want to check out this interesting documentary about 9/11 and the Pentagon attack. It certainly makes you wonder what the hell really happened there.

***
Kick Ass Tornados

Check these out:
#1
#2
Most of you also know what a freak I am for storms. The power of nature has always been awe-inspiring for me. Here are a couple of tornado videos I found recently that are totally amazing.

This image is taken from #2 above. It's a great compilation, actually, of many tornados. Now that's something to see out your windshild while driving along!

***
A to Z - Rock & Roll Sex Scandals

Very interesting. Certainly brings back some memories (honk honk) lol

***
Kitty Bling

Now that's just silly.

***
Message is Clear

When a Utah man built his dream house, he didn't expect to get flack from a neighbor who was upset because he "blocked his view."
His response:

A "beautiful cactus" decoration for his neighbor to enjoy. heh

***
Have a great weekend, peeps!
*smooch*

Huh?

2006-08-17T08:14:00.000-05:00

Do you ever wake up in the morning completely confused? This morning, that's just how I woke up. I had some of the wierdest damn dreams.

In my dream, I was in some kind of pioneer prairie village setting like straight out of Little House on the Prairie (did anyone here ever watch that as a kid?). The people were all in period dress, doing things like making butter and chopping firewood. I stuck out like a sore thumb because I was in normal clothes of this time not to mention the fact that I came in a modern car - drove right down the main dirt street. The people congregated around me, chiding me for simply being there in the "state" I was in. Oops.

Well, it turned out that they were filming a movie and that I was screwing it up for them. Every time they'd start filming, I'd be spotted and they'd yell "cut! Get her out of here!". Sheesh.

They set up an old-fashioned, state fair style stage and the President showed up (yes, Dubya) to make some kind of speech. I was provided with period dress to put on so that I wouldn't ruin the movie any more, but I was forced to deal directly with the President's personal assistant who looked like a tall, skinny troll. You know? The kind with the fuzzy hair that you spin in your hands and then pull straight up?

Like this - but with grey hair and no champagne. He scared me.

Oh, and there were tigers there, too. Bathing tigers.

Yeah. Freakin' wierd.

WTFF v.8.11.6 - Pfffft.

2006-08-11T13:31:00.000-05:00

Because I've had an exhausting, busy, frustrating week from the burning pits of hell, I'm simply going to provide some funny/wierd photos, many of which reflect quite well how I'm feeling today. I'm tired and I need vodka. Vodka and steak. Vodka, steak and valium. Yeah.

Here ya go:

You snooz, you looz.

heh

Oh, and then there's this:
Snakes on a Plane!

This would be me on my way out of the office today:

Vodka, steak and valium, people. Miracle cure. heh

Have a great weekend!

Carnies, Livestock & Rednecks, Oh MY!

2006-08-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

I am filled with anticipation for an upcoming event. Tomorrow is the beginning of the Iowa State Fair. This undeniably perfect venue for people watching is where you can procure some of the weirdest and most wonderful foods and entertainment around. It's also where you can find, in my opinion, some of the most alarming foods. You'll find funnel cakes (of course!), elephant ears, porkchop on a stick (VERY popular), Gyros, Phillies, BBQ, cheesecake on a stick (dipped in chocolate, even!), and, among many others, the notorious fried twinkie. Damn, I can feel my arteries hardening as I type this.

The fried twinkie is a phenomenon like no other. I think they started serving them at the fair a few years ago. Sporting 390 calories and 33 grams of fat, this treat has taken the fair by storm. I, personally, have never tried it and don't intend to (ack!). It sounds disgusting to me (not surprising since I don't care for twinkies) not to mention the fact that it's practically death on a stick. It was described by the New York Times in this way: "Something magical occurs when the pastry hits the hot oil. The creamy white vegetable shortening filling liquefies, impregnating the sponge cake with its luscious vanilla flavor... The cake itself softens and warms, nearly melting, contrasting with the crisp, deep-fried crust in a buttery and suave way. The piece de resistance, however, is a ruby-hued berry sauce, adding a tart sophistication to all that airy sugary goodness." HA HA HA – that's rich. bah dun dum

Anyway, the fair is the best place to experience mullet culture, chat up the carnies (those loud-mouthed, greasy, tattooed, fascinating creatures), scout out examples of bad parenting and inappropriate use of halter tops and spandex, and ogle mesmerizing livestock such as the big boar or the biggest freakin' bull you ever did see. Last year, the illustrious winner of the title of Big Boar was "Tooter," a purebred Berkshire boar who tipped the scales at 1080 lbs. He's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.

Oh, and don't forget about the butter cow.
Yes, a life-sized cow carved out of butter. Woot!

Should be a good 'ole time.

L for Laziness

2006-08-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't downloaded my pictures from my vacation yet. I'm being incredibly lazy when it comes to that. I was far too busy this weekend talking about dinosaurs, playing with slot racers, taunting the dog with a cucumber and pondering the future of this country and the world.

As further demonstration of my supreme laziness and, more importantly, to recommend a movie to you (note - possible spoiler ahead), I'll provide you with a quote from a movie I saw this weekend that had quite an impact on me - V for Vendetta. See it. Just do it.

"Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine - the security, the familiar, the tranquility, repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the annunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance, and depression. And where once you had the freedom to object, think, and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillence coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myraid of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives.

So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot."

Poignant food for thought, indeed.

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

WTFF v.8.4.6 - Cashing in the Rain Check

2006-08-04T10:31:00.000-05:00

I try very hard not to break promises. I told you that I'd have some goodies for you this week, so here I am - ready to deliver. Hooray!

I do, however, feel compelled to change the name of our Friday freak fests, though. SASF (short attention span Friday) just doesn't seem to fit what this little project has morphed into. So, for now, I'll be dubbing my Friday posts WTFF! I'll spare you the explanation since I assume y'll know what the WTF stands for. Woot.

Let the wierdness commence!

***
Never Gonna Live it Down

A bit dated but still funny...
Anyone who is a fan of soccer (or football outside of the US) probably knows about the infamous head butt incident involving French player Zidane. Well, there's been a considerable amount of fun being had with that incident:

The original, unaltered incident:

The fun times:

Sheesh - enough already! I'm telling you, it goes on and on...more here if you really need more. lol Hell, you can even do the head butting yourself here. Zidane is toast. heh

***
Gimme!

USB Missle launcher
This would be SO much fun. Perfect for shooting right out of my office door onto the unsuspecting sales persons. ...or perhaps an IT guy or two. heh

***
Boston Love

This reminds me of Cootera's dog Gus and his "humpy" heeheeheeheehee!

***
Self Mutilation or Body Art?

Most of you know that I have a "thing" for tattoos. They totally fascinate me. I have been, however, checking out a lot of other body modification ideas and methods. Some of them are pretty cool, some are quite weird, and some are simply baffling to me.

Check this out, for example:

Why? Why would you want brass knuckles implanted on your chest? That just seems like it would be most unpleasant. *rolls eyes*

Here is another example of why people need to THINK very hard about their choices before getting inked:

Oh yeah, honey, the pink eyeshadow is really hardcore. *coughLosercough*

***
Super Groovy

This guy just made me giggle so much - how groovy is he?

***
Tribute?

Someone at this ad agency has been watching Salad Fingers!

If you don't know who Salad fingers is or how twisted the experience can be, go here That's my favorite episode, but there are 6 others. For that matter, there's plenty of other crazy shit on that site as well. David Firth is a sick puppy. lol

***
Harry, say it isn't so!

Dan Radcliffe, the star of the Harry Potter movies, will be appearing in Equus - a play about a stable boy who has "romantic relations" with his horses. Way to try to "break out of the mold", Dan! lol
Full details can be found here.

***
Sometimes work just kicks you in the arse...

heh

***
But, it's the Message

You'll see some of your favorite bizarre internet characters getting together to spread an important message here at wearetheweb.org. Check out the video. You can get the message if you can stifle the giggling enough to hear what they are singing.

***
Vader Madness

Ahh, youtube, I love you so. ...and we all love Darth Vader! Little did we know, however, that Luke wasn't his only son. Check out Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager
*snort*

***
Wrong. Just wrong.

This person should be flogged.
Hmmm...perhaps that's what they were going after.

***
This is more like it!

That twist on Hello Kitty is much more appealing. *ahem*

***
Well, on that note, I think I'll sign off for now. I'd better get my ass back to work. hee

Have a great weekend!

Celti

Enough Bitching, Already

2006-08-01T13:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've bitched and moaned enough. After being told by the IT guy that "there's no way we can recover those files" I did as I usually do and continued to pursue it. Thanks to the wonderful and very wise Owl (who was not at home when I called so I was denied the pleasure of hearing his sexy accent. lol) I have a file recovery program scanning as I speak, hopefully finding my lost goodies. Cross your fingers for me, people.

By the way, I know I've been negligent lately with the Short Attn. Span Friday posts. Never fear - I have not abadoned them. I have simply been overworked and suffering from a pissy attitude for the last few weeks. Vacation (despite yesterday's tribulations) was VERY theraputic and I am feeling quite refreshed and ambitious. I have gathered a lot of goodies over the past couple of weeks, so get your giggle sticks ready.

I feel compelled to mention what I did to myself this morning. Simply stated, I was washing my hair in a bit of a hurry and ended up stabbing/cutting myself on the forehead with a fingernail. Who the hell does something like that? It's not like I have daggers for nails or anything, but it hurt like hell and looks genuinely strange. How do you explain something like that? Gads, I amaze myself some times.

Ooh, ooh, look! I finally got a new picture of my tattoo cropped & uploaded and put on my sidebar. heehee! In case you've been wondering, I had to take down the lovely winky corseted Celti girl I had there because the artist who's original drawing/image/whateveryoucallit I had transformed was not happy about what I'd done to her. He said I could post her in her original form, but the problem is that she doesn't match (I have a thing about that) and she wasn't...well...me. I'm sad and I miss her, but out of respect for the artist I took her down (though there were no copyrights or anything on his site saying images can't be used, blah blah. ack.). I'm too nice some times.

I've been working on some new writing projects & possibly a new blog that I've been tempted to tell you about. I hesitate, however, because I don't want to offend anyone though I scoff at myself at the same time since I'm generally not worried about that as you can tell from the colorful language in my previous post. I just don't want y'all to think less of me, you know? The reason for my hesitation is that the stories are rather...hmmm, what's the word...naughty. *sniggers* I don't know - we'll see. If you want to read some of the naughtiness, let me know and I'll point you the right direction.

Anyway, my scan is done so I need to go check out what it found. Vacation pictures and stories to come! (It takes a long time to dl, resize those buggers. I took a shitload.)

*smooch!*

Time Machine Wanted

2006-07-31T14:10:00.000-05:00

She's baaaaack.

Oh yes, cheeldren, I have lots of purty pictures and stories for you from my vacation. First on the agenda, however, is THE RANT THAT SO BADLY NEEDS TO ESCAPE FROM MY CRANIUM.

*breathe*
*breathe*

OK. Vacation was splendid. Really. We relaxed and had fun, got silly drunk, swam a lot, cavorted on large sailing ships, etc. etc. The travel was uneventful, the child was wonderfully well-behaved. Just splendid. Why is it that these things can not last?

I should have known that it was a bad omen when I left my vodka in the freezer in the hotel room.

After arriving home last night, Chris went to fill up with gas in his truck so he'd be ready for work today. The brakes went out. They went out at the gas station. Yeah. It's stranded at the gas station and I, of course, am without a car today as a result. So, I'm stuck here at the office.

Wait - it gets better.

Despite the minor girations that had to occur due to the previously mentioned brake failure, I walked into work all smiles. I rounded the corner into the sales area where my office is to be hit by what initially seemed to be a furnace blast. WTF? The air conditioning in our building is controlled by several different units, and, as luck would have it, the unit that controls the a/c in MY OFFICE is broken. It's 110 FREAKING DEGREES OUTSIDE (heat index, that is) AND THE AIR IS BROKEN.

Thankfully, I wore a sleaveless (you know, that's probably mis-spelled and I don't give a fuck) dress with a sweater that came off immediately. Fan is on high and I'm doing the wind-blown supermodel sheen here. Too bad I don't have a webcam.

I log in to my computer and nearly lay a freaking egg. See, the plan was to install an additional hard drive in my PC while I was gone so that I would have some room to store some stuff. I asked THREE times to verify that my C: drive would remain as is, intact, and would not be wiped. No problem. Did I back my shit up? No. HUGE MISTAKE.

THEY WIPED IT CLEAN AS A FUCKING WHISTLE.

No only did they, in the process, delete many very important business files for which I am certain to get my ass kicked not to mention creating TONS of work recreating, they also failed to reinstall any of my printer drivers. Yeah. GONE is command workstation, my ENTIRE Adobe suite including illustrator, photoshop, acrobat..., my CD burning software, the f'ing CEO's personal projects, my favorites - ALL GONE.

The IT guy is coming by this afternoon as soon as he gets back into town to "try to see if he can restore any of that." He'd better bring his magic wand or it might get ugly.

I installed my ~~pirated~~ borrowed copy of Photoshop 5.0 (ancient, but better than nothing) so I was able to provide you with the lovely photo depicting my current mood above. I completely recreated, from scratch, the mailing/RSVP list for our upcoming tech fair (5000 + entries, mind you) so that I could keep my head above water on that.

Oh yeah, and the digital support rep for the company, the one woman who has helped keep me sane and who knows far more than anyone else here and we would be screwed without? Yeah, she resigned. Bah dum dum.

I'm sitting at my desk, sweating, eating a roast beef sandwich that luckily I had the foresight to slap together since I knew I would be stranded here. I've been trying very hard to keep a good attitude going, but as the day goes on and I hit brick wall after brick wall because I can't do my job because I don't have this file, or that driver, or this application, it is going down hill for sure.

I NEED A DAMN TIME MACHINE SO THAT I CAN RETURN TO MY HOTEL IN GREEN BAY WITH A FROSTY DRINK, SITTING BY THE POOL, IN THE HOT TUB OR ON A LARGE SAILING SHIP. I would swiftly press "pause" and that's that. Done. Finito.

Oh yeah, and that fabulous dress I ordered for the class reunion? ...the one that was on the 22nd of July? It arrived on the 24th of July.

Die, evil bloody slow apathetic eBay bitch, DIE!

Damn it, that's supposed to be an animated .gif. See? This day sucks ass.

I should have known better. Despite what I was told, I should have backed my shit up. WHY didn't I? Because I'm a fool.

LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE - TRUST NO ONE.
It's the safest way to go.
back
your
shit
up
.

Beatin' Feet

2006-07-24T18:09:00.000-05:00

My apologies for my absence, however after many miles, a class reunion and a concert this weekend, I've spent the entire day frantically packing for VACATION. Yes, I'm leaving town...leaving the state, in fact. We're heading to Wisconsin to do some sailing and covorting on various large sailing ships, swashbuckling with some pirates, checking out some jet plane maneuvers, do some BBQ and eat lots of cheese by the pool. Woot! I may or may not have access to the blog during the next week, so I wish you a great week and I'll catch you soon. Toodles!

Prayers for Peace

2006-07-20T08:21:00.000-05:00

As we watch news of the Middle East and current events, our hearts are saddened and sickened by what we see and hear. Talks of Muslim, Christian and Jew all blowing each other up in the name of God because of land and ancient grudges - and it seems it just gets worse and worse. We are the lucky ones - lucky because we are fortunate enough to not be in the middle of the fighting, fearing for our lives every day. It is getting closer, though. I don't know where we'll end up with all of this, but I do know that we all need to pray. No matter what you believe in, who you are...pray for peace, the preservation of our mother Earth, and the safety and futures of our children.

***
Muslim Prayer for Peace
In the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful. Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who has created us and made us into tribes and nations that we may know each other, not that we may despise each other. If the enemy incline towards peace, do thou also incline towards peace and trust God, for the Lord is the one that heareth and knoweth all things. And the servants of God, Most gracious are those who walk on the Earth in humility, and when we address them, we say "PEACE." al-salaamu 3alaykom w raHmatu al-lahi w barakaatoh (Peace and Gods blessings and His mercy be on you.)
***
Christian Prayer
Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3 (KJV)
***
Jewish Prayer for Peace
Come let us go up the mountain of the Lord, that we may walk the paths of the Most High. And we shall beat our swords into ploughshares, and our spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation - neither shall they learn war any more. And none shall be afraid, for the mouth of the Lord of Hosts has spoken. Shalom - means much more than peace, hello or goodbye.
***
Hindu Prayer for Peace
Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the Real.
Oh God, lead us from darkness to light.
Oh God, lead us from death to immortality.
Shanti, Shanti, Shanti unto all.
Oh Lord God almighty, may there be peace in celestial regions.
May there be peace on Earth.
May the waters be appeasing.
May herbs be wholesome, and may trees and plants bring peace to all. May all beneficent beings bring peace to us.
May thy Vedic Law propogate peace all through the world.
May all things be a source of peace to us.
And may thy peace itself, bestow peace on all and may that peace come to me also.
***
Buddhist Prayer for Peace
May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another. May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness - the children, the aged, the unprotected - be guarded by beneficial celestials, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
***
Sikh Prayer for Peace
God adjudges us according to our deeds, not by the coat that we wear. Know that Truth is above everything, but higher still is truthful living. Know that we attaineth God when we loveth, and only victory endures in consequences of which no one is defeated.
***
Wiccan Prayer for Peace:
Lady of Peace who hears the cries of the world
Extend your power through me and with me;
Bless those in harms way.
Bless those who are suffering.
Bless those who are dying.
Bless the lost unknowing dead.
Bless those who love.
Bless those who are helping.
Bless those who are scared.
Bless those who can do nothing but wait.
Bless those who are falsely suspected.
Bless those of limited understanding.
Bless those upholding civil liberties.
Bless those who, though well intentioned, do wrong.
Bless the Ancestors
who love and hold us dear;
may we feel their comfort, too.
Bless those who work and pray for peace
throughout the good, green Mother Earth.
Bless us ALL and hold us safe within your embrace.
So Mote It Be!

Crazy from the Heat?

2006-07-17T14:58:00.000-05:00

Yes, as said on my sidebar, my life may not always be a bed of roses but it's always interesting.

It's been horribly hot here this past week - getting hotter as I type this. The high is supposed to be 100 today with humidity in the "dripping the minute you open the door" range. Ug. I have no idea what I'd do (besides melt) without air conditioning.

Anyway, I digress.

Last night we had quite the interesting visit. We were all snuggled in our beds, dreaming of heaven knows what when a furious pounding at the front door began. It was quickly accompanied by the unmistakable voice of one of Chris' friends from his youth (with whom he hasn't "hung out" for years), shouting "Chris, Chris, let me in man, I need your help. I did something stupid man, let me IN!" Oh, gads, this can't be good.

Chris stumbled to the door as quickly as he could so as to shut the dork up, and let him in. He was literally FREAKING OUT. In my suddenly-awakened stupor, I didn't catch what had caused him to do this, but he claimed that he had just "shot up" an entire bar full of people. He said he came in the back door with two guns and kept shooting until he hit the front door.

Holy crap! WTFFFFFFF??????!!!!!

Anyway, he said that he then ran directly to Chris' brothers house, only 2 blocks away from said dive, and begged him to "get him the hell out of" there. He promptly delivered him to our front door. Remind me to thank him later.

He was flipping out about going to prison, he can't get caught, we're the only people he can trust (as he's following Chris into the bathroom to make sure he's not calling the cops), he can't get caught and a whole lot of cussing and oh, my Gods, and general hysterical blathering. We were able to get him to settle down a little (and sit down, for that matter), but he was still a mess. I asked him if he thought he'd hit anyone and he said he had no idea. He said that he hid the guns in the bushes (thank G-D he didn't have them ON him!) and ran, never looking back. He said he even left his mom's truck at the bar.

Now, understand that this guy's got issues. He's been to prison a couple of times, he uses or has been known to use various drugs and who knows what he'd been into lately. Let's just say he got an A in Shady Character 101.

Chris convinced him that, for numerous reasons, he could not stay at our house (duh!). Primarily, he could not stick around due to the fact that Chris' brother is a HUGE fan of drama and has a tendency to not be able to keep his mouth shut. We pointed out that he knows he's here, and if he calls the cops, they'll come right here looking for him (great). We also have a child and our own well being to worry about. He needed to go somewhere else and NOW, so Chris suggested that he head 3 blocks down the street to another friends place (where there are no children and no one would know where to find him and he'd be the hell away from us). He apologized for showing up and troubling us with all this then, thankfully, he obliged and left.

Chris' brother called a few minutes later, having returned to his neighborhood. He said that there were no cop cars or emergency vehicles at the bar and everything there appeared to be normal and that his mom's truck was in her driveway. Huh.

Honestly, I think the guy either hallucinated or made the whole thing up. I've been scouring the news all day looking for any sign of news about it, and have found nothing. I'm almost tempted to call the bar and ask them if there was trouble there last night. I really hope it didn't happen as he will most certainly go back to prison if it did, not to mention people being hurt.

Needless to say, it took a while to get back to sleep after that. Thank heavens the D-man slept through the whole thing. Sometimes I really think we're total freak magnets. Sheesh!

Somebody get me through this nightmare.

2006-07-16T08:23:00.000-05:00

Disillusionment - disenchantment, disappointment, cynicism

A cat cries at my feet
all he wants is love
I feel I have none to give as
I sit in self-loathing
feeling a failure

How did I get here?
a home I make the best of but can't keep clean
bills barely paid, living from paycheck to paycheck
no hope for any kind of savings or cushion
no way to relax

I take my medication but it doesn't help me sleep
still, the wheels in my head grind away
anxiety picking at me like a vulture
partakes of an empty vessel
abandoned in the sand

I worry for my child and the future he faces
in a world where people blow themselves up
on busses and in cars
and shoot missles
and steal money and hope

I am still overweight and may as well resign myself
to the fact that I always will be
I've tried so hard only
to make a tiny difference
not nearly enough

I just want to be normal
I want to be able to go out into the world
without being judged
without being self-consious
impossible

I try so hard
I work so hard
Shouldn't I have arrived by now?
I'm so tired of the struggle
where is the reward?

I have entered the gates of hell.

2006-07-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

GAH! I am hating my job right now. From this lovely screen shot, you can see that I have, indeed, entered the gates of hell.

I have been ~~burdened~~ blessed with the responsibility of transferring ALL of our company forms/agreements/legal documents that need to be "filled out" over to Excel spreadsheets that are good-n-ready to be populated by system-generated data from our prospecting application databases. Variable data, kids. Yeah. Very complex formulas and links. ...and LOTS of them! Conditionals! Oh yeah, and they have to be perfect when printed out. Oh, the humanity!

Then I get to train everyone on how to USE them.

Aaaaaaiiiiiieeeee! Now I get assaulted by an image like this from my image host!

Gah!

Oh yeah, I said that.

I'm about half done, but the formulas and the data source pages and links and the colums and merged cells are MAKING ME FUCKING CRAZY.

*whew*

I'll stop whimpering if someone quickly delivers a white russian to me or lets me make some purty graphics stuff now. Please?

Hot Pink & Old + Pirates!

2006-07-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

We had quite the swimming adventure this weekend. I took the D-man swimming at our neighborhood pool on Saturday only to have some jerk shit in the pool about a half hour after we got there. We all got out of the water (ew!) and watched the life guards walk around with rubber gloves, nets and buckets dipping it out. After quite a while, they got out the big cleaning machine and I'm pretty sure they ended up shutting down the pool. I wasn't going back in there anyway. We got tickets to get back in some other time and left.

So, yesterday we went swimming at a different pool. This one was better anyway - bigger pool & awesome water slides! D and I were in the water for a good 3 hours and, despite slathering SPF 30 all over myself, today I am a lovely shade of hot pink. I hate pink. Now I'm my own personal space heater. Ow. I must have done a better job on the D-man, though...he's not even pink.

I have a class reunion coming up this month. It sucks because it's really made me realize how long it's been since I graduated and it's making me feel old. No, I'm not telling how many years. lol Anyway, I found the (what I think is the) perfect dress for the reunion and it should be arriving soon. I'm excited because I think the dress is gorgeous and I found exactly what I was looking for. So, I show the picture to Chris - "look honey, I found the perfect dress!" to which he replied "Huh. Looks like something Elvira would wear." What?! Grrrrr... Bite me, man. I love it. Maybe I should have got it in green. I guess I shouldn't be insulted being compared to the ultimate goth vixen - she's just too cheezy for me.

Oh well, it will go nicely with my new Auburn hair. Yes, I dyed it. Back to my roots, I suppose. I was getting tired of trying to maintain the blonde. I was a blonde growing up, then the red started showing through and the older I get, the darker it gets. It's nice to be back to something I won't have to maintain.

Went to see Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest this weekend and it was great. I was fascinated by all of the funky creatures in Davey Jones' crew, and, of course, by Johnny & Orlando. Mrowr. I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it - let's just say they left it wiiiide open for #3.

We're going on vacation in two weeks (can I hear a big WOOOT?). We'll be heading up to Wisconsin for a 6 days. We'll be checking out the Tall Ships Festival in Green Bay and we're going to go cruising on a huge sailing ship like this one! That should be so cool. One of the ships from Dead Man's Chest is going to be there, too. D will be so excited. They'll even being doing some reenactments of pirate battles!

I'm really looking forward to this vacation as we all need it badly. 14 more days.

SASF v.7.7.6 - Week from Hell FINALLY OVER

2006-07-07T14:51:00.000-05:00

I'm buried up to my eyeballs in work, so no fluff today. I'm lucky I got this far...

***
Trump's Puppy

You feed me Kibbles & Bits!?!?! You're FIRED!

***
Falling Apart

Hundreds of people are thronging a hospital in the eastern Indian city of Kolkata to see a patient holding a piece of his own skull that fell off. Yipes!

***
Toxic

This kid's got issues. I have to admit, though, that it made me giggle. The Stanford cafeteria will never be the same.

***
Cyber-Stalker's Dream

Flash Earth is SO much fun to play with. I was able to zoom in and see my own freakin' house and where I work. Creepy! Hmmm...what's your address? heh

While zooming in on the Midwest, however, I happened to notice this:

Why does Missouri look like that?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

***
Fun with Math

Oh my! That's quite an equation you've got there! *snickers*

***
She's still got it!

Veteran sex symbol Sofia Loren, first featured on magazine covers half a century ago, will appear for next year's Pirelli calendar dressed up only in diamond earrings. Sofia will be 72 this fall. You go, girl!

***
No Ifs or Ands

Check this out for a new and different way to learn about America's landmarks.

***
Holy sharkfin soup!

A new shark movie is supposedly in the works. Should prove interesting (or NOT! lol), but there's some very interesting discussion on the boards about the megalodons.

Dude, looookout!

***
Express Route

Go straight to your floor and leave the rest behind with elevator hacking. (this works, too...used to do it all the time. D'oh!) The site, in general, is quite informative. heh heh

***
Speaking of Elevators

...or "lifts" as my lovely British friends would call them. Put on your dancin' shoes. heehee!

***
Man, People Just Don't Think

As opposed to jobs down in the crevasse? LOL

***
Special thanks goes out to Archmage this week for coming up with several of these goodies to bail my ass out. *smooch*

Have a fabulous weekend, peeps!

Agent Provocateur

2006-07-06T10:06:00.000-05:00

It has been said that a woman should have an intimate relationship with her corset. It will take on her shape a little more every time that she wears it...

As a corset virgin, it is with a little apprehension that I slowly remove my brand new black satin corset from its delicate tissue paper. I turn the corset over and place it on my dressing table. I loosen the laces as instructed and pull the corset apart, undoing th clips at the front and place it around my body...

Beginning with the smaller hooks at the bottom, I start to fasten the corset. I find the clips at the top slot together all in one - so far so good!

I pull the lacing at the back to fit snugly around my newly found waist and tie it tightly. At first, I feel quite restricted, but as my body adjusts I become used to this new and strangely pleasurable sensation.

I move around my bedroom testing my physical limitations and, as the corset is warmed by my body, it begins to mould itself to my curves. After a short while, I can't help but pull the laces just that little bit tighter.

I feel sexy, glamorous and extremely feminine. Looking in the mirror, I notice that my posture has instantly improved, even when seated. I look elegant, feel powerful and am ready to paint the town red.

Corset virgin to corset addict in the time it usually takes to put on mascara. Perfect.

Seething

2006-07-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

Some people just can't handle their alcohol. For that matter, some people just can't handle THEMSELVES. Chris' nephew is one of these people.

Our 4th of July started out nice and relaxed. We slept in and hung around the house until noon or so, and then we went to the big parade. We had a great time at the parade, and walked on down the street to our friends' house. They live only a block from where the parade goes by and three blocks from where one of our suburbs has the best 4th of July celebration each year. We always go to their house each year to BBQ some food, have some drinks, swim and generally fool around. It's always a good time.

This year, we took Chris' nephews. They weren't really invited - his dad just brought them over to our house before we left and dumped them off. Greeeeaaaaat. We really didn't think it would be a problem - they're usually pretty good kids (well, 19 and 21 year old kids, that is).

So, as I and a few others (mostly kids) had a water fight & fooled around in the back yard, the guys inside got the party started by doing a few shots of whisky. Yeah, great idea. *snarls*

The party continued on for a while, some cooking and good natured silliness...then we decided to head down the street to the carnival/celebration thing at the park. Chris, I and the D-man went down together. We bought D a wrist band and he had a blast on all the rides and inflatables (yes, I have pictures). After a couple of hours, Chris got a call from up at the house to come get Josh (the 19 year old) and take him home because he was being a jerk. Chris headed up there and the D-man and I stayed behind.

This is where things get a bit muddy as I wasn't there and have heard about 3 different versions of the story. Supposedly, Josh got a hold of some bottle rockets and wanted to shoot them off. They are illegal here, and the people who lived there didn't want to get in trouble nor did they want any of the little ones to get hurt, so they told him not to shoot them. He ignored their request and started shooting them off, reportedly AT the house and the kids. Clayton (one of our best friends who happens to live there) got upset with him and took the bottle rockets away from him. Josh got all puffed up and pissed off and started pushing Clayton around. Lots of yelling and cursing ensued, and Josh was he was told to leave (which he, of course, did not).

Chris arrived and shoved Josh in the car to get him out of there. Before Chris could get in the car, Josh came back out and went after Clayton, nailing him with a roundhouse kick to the head. Clayton went down and Josh started kicking him in the head and all over, stomping on him and pretty much beating him to a pulp.

By this time, many neighbors had gathered around, and after Josh was pulled off of Clayton it was apparent that he was hurt badly. 911 was called and, being only a few blocks from the celebration, the cops and an ambulance were there in no time.

Chris called me and told me what happened as the D-man and I were walking up the street looking at all the cop cars and emergency vehicles up there. I am so thankful that we were not there when this happened as it is certainly something that the D-man did not need to see. When we arrived, Chris took D into the back yard away from the chaos. I attended to children and dogs, shooing them inside the house and determined that Josh was in a cop car going to jail and Clayton was being strapped on a back board with a neck brace and being put into an ambulance. They were whisked away, and I gathered up our stuff so we, too, could head out. I took the other nephew home, then took D and Chris home and then headed to the hospital.

Fortunately, Claytons injuries don't appear to be as bad as originally thought, though we're really not sure yet. They were concerned that his neck could be broken as well as his hip. After some x-rays, it appears that the hip is simply dislocated and his neck is ok. Another friend and I stayed with Clayton in the ER and tried to comfort him as he was in a horrible amount of pain and distress. Finally, after the x-rays and a lecture from a doctor about his blood alcohol level (.23, apparently) they finally gave him some pain killers. When I left the ER a few hours later, he was still strapped on the gurney in his neck brace, sleeping like a baby. A couple of hours later, they did surgery to put his hip back into the socket. I may go up to see him on my lunch hour today, though a phone call I just got from the hospital reported that he is a total wreck and in a horrible amount of pain. She said I shouldn't go up there, but I can't help but feel like I should.

Josh, on the other hand, is in deep shit. Amazingly, they let him out of jail late last night (without bail!?) but it isn't over yet, of course. He's being charged with assault with injury and who knows what else not to mention the fact that he'll likely be sued to pay for Clayton's medical bills.

I am so pissed off I can't even see straight and I'm totally sick to my stomach. I don't want to talk to him or even see him because, if I did, I'd probably knock him flat on his ass. There was no justifiable reason for what he did, not to mention the fact that Clayton is badly hurt and the entire celebration was ruined for the rest of us. He's pulled some stunts in the past, but this one takes the cake. I don't know how much alcohol he had, and maybe that wasn't even a factor. I just don't know. I swear, I will never take him anywhere again and he is no longer welcome in my home or anywhere near me and my family or friends, for that matter.

So as not to disappoint D, we did go with some other friends to see some fireworks after dark. They were OK, but the enthusiasm just wasn't there. Now, I just have to figure out how to control my temper if/when I see that little rat bastard

Un-fucking-believable. We had better not suffer any fallout from this shit. Although we tried our best to shelter D from all of it, I do think it's affecting him because he knows that his cousin beat up Clayton and went to jail. I do not lie to him when he asks questions. This morning when I dropped him off at preschool, he was very clingy and didn't want to let me go. When we finally had to have his teacher pull him off of me, he started crying. It broke my heart.

*sigh*

So, needless to say, I'm quite cranky today and just generally a wreck.
I hope you all had a better Independence Day than we did.

...but wait! Look! Look! A Bunny!

SASF v.6.30.6 - Miscellaneous Grins & Giggles

2006-06-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

Oh, suuuure. I get all these goodies lined up for you and go to upload the images, and my image host is moving like molasses in January. @(*#$)(*@&)(*&! It couldn't have done this last week when I had only one picture. Noooo. *snarl*

Anyhoo, we're in for a fun weekend here in the steamy Midwest, folks. The 4th of July is just around the bend, and tonight we have an outdoor concert on the capital steps (accompanied by some tasty BBQ) and fabulous fireworks following! I loves me some good fireworks. Fire! Heh heh Fire!

On with the goodies (that is if I ever get the crap uploaded. Erg!)

***
Giggle-Worthy Gifs

This week's selections:

***
Ha!
I SO badly want to do this to/for my neighbor. She's a cranky bitch.

Classic!

***
Morning Kicks
Dude, I would seriously suspect that someone drugged my coffee if my breakfast did this!

***
Precious Moments

Ah, a beautiful wedding on a lovely tropical paradise beach. It is advisable, however, to hire a photographer who pays attention to the background. *snort*

***
Tattoo of the Week

That had to hurt! It's going to be awesome when he gets it all filled in. The Pooh bear, on the other hand, just doesn't seem to fit in...hmmm.

I'm starting to itch for another one. What should I get and where, peeps? Of course, nothing nearly this big!

***
Big Bad Bird

Poor Mister Trooper man can't do his job due to feisty fowl. heehee! Go turkey!

***
Man, I totally want to do this!

Convert your old TV into a fish tank.
Sweet!

***
Worst Cosplay Ever

Oh, honey...

"Ok, dudes, what am I?" *coughdorkcough*

***
WTF has she been blogging about?

The last couple of posts have been stories by the wonderful CornMo. He is awesome. I saw him perform with "Burlesque-a-Pades" last weekend. Never has a man with an accordion won my heart like him. He tells these stories between his songs and he's just freaking brilliant and tremendously talented. Check him out!

Oh jeez, I think I need this DVD.

(BTW, CornMo, if you're reading this, you were AWESOME, man! Had I not been so damned drunk, I would have chased you down after the show.)

***
Shaved is Preferred

Shave my damned Yeti and get a reward!
What I want to know is WHY does he have shorts on under his fur?

Personally, I prefer this look. Heh

***

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Two Dudes Helping Out

2006-06-29T21:30:00.000-05:00

Fortune Dave confessed to making placating concessions to his doorman, Undisclosed Steve. Steve eats salads that Dave makes at home and in return Steve acknowledges that Dave has a place to live. Code Red Days are the days that Steve requests a Dagwood salad. Those days, Steve will stand by the door for the duration of the meal. The rest of the day is spent at Steve's own place where he plays Worlds of Warcraft, all day, sometimes explaining to other warriors at the bar what a Dagwood is. Once, when all the warlocks were listening at a nearby table, they looked up from their ales at Fortune Dave, who then made his confession.

Then, there was Vampire Pokey, who was teeming with dead blood. Where and when he showed up depended on who was in need of a party favor and Pokey loved to give. Other vampires gave him the Dorian Gray look- you know, that vampiric looking down and closing eyes while turning back to the important party.

There was a gaggle- no wait- a murder of mummies who were never royalty but just experiments of a long gone indigenous group of people who had heart. Pokey gave them dead blood all the time.

And when Horse Day came-the day when parades provided tired Clydesdales for the chumley vampires- Pokey didn't hang around for idle chit chat ("Oh, did you see the jockey that Chauntey killed? He said he was like the end of a milkshake.") Pokey went to the mummies and gave them some dead blood from his wrists and then spent quality time with them, learning about berry picking and shell jewelry and sometimes just burning one of them in order to transfer the spirit to a wildcat. That kind of thing.

haaaaa ha ha ha
*sigh*
The noble Corn Mo rocks.

The Relevancy of Time to the Time Clock at Work

2006-06-28T08:29:00.000-05:00

Two guys walk into a showroom. One guy has construction helmet on, the other guy has a headpiece on just like Batman's. The helmeted fellow is eating a twinkie and the batman has a 99 cent bag of Doritos. The showroom is full of office furniture and they both want a desk. The helmeted guy takes a rubber mallet and starts hammering on one desk. The batman guy takes a ball peen hammer and starts hammering on the other. After 20 seconds of doing so, a salesman walks briskly towards the helmeted guy and says "Stop. Please, sir. Stop." He walks to the batman and says the same exact thing. The two guys look at each other and continue banging. The salesman walks back into the office and comes out with two other salesman who start yelling at the two bangers to stop. When this doesn't work, one of the stockers holds a lighter to a fire sprinkler because he feels he has a reason to create disorder. The showroom becomes wet and three fire trucks pull into the parking lot and the stocker man with the lighter goes into the break room and grabs three boxes of pizza because it's Pizza Friday and disappears into the back where he is picked up by batman and the helmeted guy and they go to the house where batman has a new Xbox, set up with 3 new games and they all eat pizza and laugh and drink Coca Cola.

The batman fellow's name is Pat and the construction helmet fellow's name is Mason. The stocker's name is Phil. They all agree that the new Batman is really good but love Michael Keaton. They also agree that Papa John's is really good pizza but not as good as the J and J's. Pat can take any topping he can think of to J and J's and they will put it on his pizza. He once brought some necco wafers to be put on his pizza and was sure that it would be good but he was wrong. Phil dated a girl who liked anchovies and wanted some but the grocery store didn't have any and neither did the pizza place so he bought some sardines and marinated them in salt and oil but she didn't like it, so he stopped trying. It might mean he didn't really love her and it's a good thing that they broke up. Now, a month ago, Mason started playing Resident Evil 4 and was amazed at the amount of time that went by during play. He felt like everyone around him aged faster than he did because of how fast time seemed to pass during the game. He was almost right because of his own mass. Meanwhile, the salesman who didn't know what had happened after the incident lives alone and watches Office Space once a week. Sometimes twice. His name is also Phil but goes by Philip. He doesn't eat pizza much but enjoys cereal. He has a Reservoir Dogs poster behind his couch and that's all he has that isn't functional. He feels the monotony of his life is diverted by going to Walmart instead of Kroger for his groceries. He also lies on the floor for hours not doing anything. He can do 100 situps a day. He can do 100 pushups a day. But, what he doesn't do is think up stupid ways to annoy other working people by dressing up like an idiot and pounding on office furniture in order to get free pizza.

Get OUT!

2006-06-28T08:15:00.000-05:00

My anger and frustration was nearly out of control last night. I don't know what happened, but I was an idiot and today I'm hating myself for it. I said hurtful things to people I love. I said even more hurtful things to/about myself. Anxiety sucks and these last few days I can't seem to purge it. I have to get it out.

My clothes don't match today. I don't care.

My Weekend in Pictures

2006-06-26T12:07:00.000-05:00

...in no particular order.

SASF v.6.23.6 - Friday Video Extravaganza!

2006-06-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

A good place to get started:
You drive me crazy!
I really can't help but wonder if they have any idea what the hell they're saying.

Speaking of Crazy...
All bow down to the Purple One!

My absolute favorite
There are some very nice memories associated with this song.
*ahem* Oh, to be 19 again...

Skeeerry
happy morning

...another reason why I don't consume diet coke & mentos
yikes!

Game Show Goodies:
Classic Family Feud Moment

Cheaters Prosper!

Cheese alert!
I Wanna Love You Tender
OMFGLMAOBBQ! What a gem! The Dancers - oooh la la, the dancers. *snort*

Ahh, the 80s!
Double Cheese!
Head Over Heels
Dang, I forgot how ridiculously cute they were. Oooh, Omega, don't get this one stuck in your head. Lol (this is all your fault, you know)

I always wanted to know what the hell "Kajagoogoo" meant.

The best band of the 80s - I was SUCH a Durannie.
They were so purty, even if Simon was an Indiana Jones ripoff..

A picture - just because they're so purty:

...and this post needs at least one picture.
Bonus points to who can tell me where in the hell they got their name!

Oh, the flashbacks. lol

Ok, moving onward...

rollergirls!
These girls kick ass - literally! Woot!

Jed Inside
Um...intriguing.

Uh...are we live?
Yay Fox!
*snort*

Scarface (short Version (caution - major vulgarity)

And finally, the ultimate GOD WARRIOR!
Damn skeeery!
Embrace the dark side, baby.

Ok, just a few more
Cup o' Noodle Theater
These made me giggle entirely too much.

Aw, hell...one more 80s flashback, eh?
You, babe.
Actually, that might be 70s...? Oh well, sit back and enjoy the cheese.
*swoon*

Help! I can't stop!
I think this shall be my theme song for today.

heh heh - ok, back to work ya freaks.

Midsummer Night's Dream

2006-06-21T10:14:00.000-05:00

Ahh, yes...today is Summer Solstice, and here I sit stuck with entirely too much work for one woman to do and NO FREAKIN' THUNDERSTORM. Yes...mother is taunting me. Yesterday's storms decided to veer North with the southern portion disappating, leaving me with a pathetically unsatisfying trickle of rain. Aw, Poo. Today, once again, our neighbors to the North have their windows rattling with another of her beautiful hissy-fits while my shoulders are dry. Double poo. Oh well, I can stamp my foot and whine as I wish and she'll give me my release when she's damn good and ready. erg.

Ok...now that I've got that out, I can get on to the business at hand.

Summer solstice - the longest day of the year, is a day for celebration. "This midsummer festival celebrates the apex of light, sometimes symbolized in the crowning of the Oak King, God of the waxing year. At his crowning, the Oak King falls to his darker aspect, the Holly King, God of the waning year." The days will be getting shorter from here on out as we creep into my favorite time of the year - Autumn.

For more information on Summer Soltice and it's meanings, see last year's post. My work load was apparently much lighter at that time as I was quite windy. lol

Tonight I personally intend to seek out a gathering, perferably around a mighty fire.

Happy Summer Solstice, everyone!

Fresh Perspective

2006-06-20T07:57:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, yes! ...just what I needed to relieve this cranky mood I've been in:

Damn, I love a good, butt kicking midwestern thunderstorm.

I found this in my e-mail and wanted to share it with you:

The Difference Between Rich/Poor People

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Now, pardon me while I go out and dance around in the rain for a bit. :)

snort

2006-06-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

soooo freakin' busted.

Muaaaahahaha!

2006-06-15T14:48:00.000-05:00

You know, perhaps I am evil. May as well just go ahead and embrace it, right? heh

Some say that it's in my chart. I am an Aries with a Saggitarius moon and Leo rising - cardinal fire, fire and fire, baby. I have been told that I can shoot fire out of my eyes. I've blown things up by concentrating my fury on them. I kid you not - I have witnesses.

I am, however, very good about controlling my temper and weighing the consequences of my actions before I take them. This has been my saving grace time and time again.

Per my chart, I am: independent, arrogant, confident, dominant, charismatic, high-spirited, an idealist, optimistic, quick-witted, opinionated, stubborn, agressive, passionate, aloof, intense, direct, blunt, honest, innovative, an instigator, proud.

All of these can be hard to handle when wrapped into a single package, but I manage. I am, indeed, proud of who I am and I know that I am not evil. I'm just a pussy-cat.

*mrowr*

Fair Weather Angst

2006-06-14T09:48:00.000-05:00

I've noticed an interesting trend in visits to my blog in the last several months. Most of you that have been coming here for a while know that there's been quite a turn-around in my mental health since last fall. Prior to that time, I was suffering from horrible depression and anxiety. Though some of my posts here were positive, most of them were filled with frustration, angst and insecurities - symptoms of suffering.

Since I sought help and got my head straightened out, I have been a much happier person and I know that it shows in my posts. Some times, however, I feel like all I post these days is fluff and insignificant blather. My stats certainly do seem to reflect this.

During the worst time of suffering, last fall right before I got help, several of my "best blogger buddies" - people who swore themselves to be true friends, dumped me. They turned their backs on me, mostly due to the person who claimed to have been my "best friend" deciding that she thought I was evil or dangerous or something. Yes - at the time when I needed her most. Even though the only person I was a danger to was myself, she gathered up her little herd of sheep and off they pranced to greener pastures leaving me to die/suffer/whatever. Great friends, huh?

Am I bitter? Hell yes, I am. But more than that, I'm disappointed. It's always disappointing when you think you've found a true friend and they turn out to be otherwise. I never really posted about it because I'm not the kind of person to sling mud. They were far too fond of gossip and picking out others' shortcomings anyway. If they would rather go along with a vindictive back-stabber rather than a friend in need, I'm better off without them. In a big way, it made me skeptical regarding people in general and much more hesitant to offer friendship to anyone.

Anyway, it's not that I really give a shit about my stats - I watch them mostly to see where people are coming from and how they get here. I've noticed, though, that the numbers are dropping. I used to get around 175-200 hits per day. Now I get around 100-125. It's almost as if people are no longer interested now that my posts are not filled with negativity, suffering and misery. Is that what people want to read? Gads, I would hope not. Perhaps they came here to make themselves feel better about their own lives since mine was so miserable. I guess I'm just not nearly as interesting now that I'm happy.

The original point of this was reflection on the quality/substance of my posts. Sure, there's a good one now and then, but lately they've mostly been crap. I've always been at my most creative when I was either miserable or crazy-in-love. Since I am neither now, I guess I've settled well into the realm of the tedious and mundane. I'm not finding it particularly comfortable.

Alas, it's my curse in life - never satisfied, always something missing.

Breathe

Breathe, breathe in the air.
Don't be afraid to care.
Leave but don't leave me.
Look around, choose your own ground.

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.

Run, rabbit run.
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to dig another one.

For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave.

-Pink Floyd

Yeah, so I have a shitty attitude today. You know what's really cool, though? I am the #1 result on Google for "Bitchin Camaro Sandwich". WOOT!

Pleasure, Pain, & Lacy Things

2006-06-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to understand what it means when I hear "ooh, hurts so good." After hiking and climbing what seemed to be about 50 miles on Sunday, I faithfully did my pilates routine (despite the temptation to skip it) at lunch yesterday. I wasn't really sore yesterday, but today my calves are complaining a bit. The weird thing is that I am actually enjoying it. Each twinge of pain reminds me of what I've accomplished, how motivated I've been and reinforces the fact that it's working. I can't even explain how good that makes me feel.

So...as a bit of a reward to myself, I went shopping. I bought myself, for the first time in ages, some sexy new panties. That, in itself, is remarkable because I never go out and buy myself "unnecessary, frilly foofoo stuff." In fact, I didn't actually go shopping for this purpose, but when I saw that one of my favorite stores had a buy 3 get 3 free sale, I couldn't resist.

I LOVE THEM. I had forgotten what it feels like to wear sexy underwear. I'm just amazed at how wearing sexy underthings can affect your self-confidence and demeanor.

Here's what I got:

cute & simple light green thong, much like this:

cute & simple light blue thong
light blue all-lace hipsters like these:

multicolor marbled silk bikini
multicolor sheer boy shorts, similar to these:

blue two-tone checked sheer boy shorts

Hooray! Now I'm all set for one pair for each day of the week. I guess I'll have to go commando one day, though. lol

I've never worn a thong before but I had to try it. I must say that it's not nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it would be, and it certainly is nice to not have panty lines.

The intense workouts of the nether regions are really starting to pay off already. When I modeled my new skivvies and checked them out in the mirror, I no longer have to cringe and say "ew!" when I look! That makes it all worth it!

Ledges Edges

2006-06-12T09:37:00.000-05:00

Those who say that living in Iowa is boring because "there isn't anything to do" simply aren't looking. Sure, we have a lot of pigs and corn, but that is certainly not all. There are times, like this past weekend, that I am reminded what a beautiful state this is.

We spent the weekend hiking, picnicking and geocaching in Ledges State Park. This huge park is well known for it's beautiful creeks, stunning views and cliffs/ledges that are great for climbing, hiking and exploring. I was excited to find that there are four geocaches hidden there!

Chris, the D-Man, our friend Matt and I set out to find the caches, do some hiking and have a picnic. It turns out that three of the four of the caches involved lots of climbing. Steep hills and stairs were the norm for the day, giving our legs quite the workout. Fortunately, it was delightfully cool (around 60 degrees) so we didn't sweat our butts off.

After finding the second cache, we found a picnic table and had our dinner - some awesome sandwiches, broccoli slaw and home made strawberry rhubarb pie. Yum!

Here are a few pictures from our day:

Gads, his brand new shoes! Why did I let him wear those? Oh well. You can't take a boy to a creek and expect him to stay out of it. lol

First cache of the day found. The D-Man got a toy motorcycle out of it and we left SpongeBob, as seen in the lid there. You can't really tell from the pic, but the hill I'm standing on is quite steep.

The waterlines: Ledges State Park suffered some horrible damage during the floods of 1993. This pole documents the water level in the lower parking area of the park during various times of flooding, the very top marker being the water level in 1993. See that little guy at the bottom? Yep, that's the D-Man. Judging by his height of 45", that would put the water level of '93 at about 27 feet. Yeah. Fortunately, the park has recovered nicely from the flood though you can still see remnants of many huge trees that were lost.

Ahh, the view from the top of one of the ledges. It was pretty scary up there - I'd guess about 150 feet up or so, but what a gorgeous view.

My favorite picture of the day.

By the end of our adventures even the D-Man was tired of hiking (which is quite an accomplishment). He wanted me to carry him but my shaky, tired legs refused to allow me to carry a 45 pound kid when they were having trouble carrying me. Yes, we all slept very good last night.

I love the wilderness and I'm so happy that I've managed to pass that love on to the D-Man. At one point, as we were hiking, he informed me that he wants to live there because he loves it so much. Oh, how I wish we could...

SASF v.6.8.6 - Buh buh buh

2006-06-09T15:01:00.000-05:00

I'm not feeling particularly wordy today, so let's get right down to bizzness, shall we?

***
Monkeying Around

Careerbuilder.com has Monkey Mail It's really quite silly, but I don't really see how it fits into the whole careers thing – unless you want to send the talking monkey to your boss yelling "I QUIT!" *snigger*

***
Skatezilla

Skatezilla takes on Brighton. Hilarity ensues. heh

***
Bad Margarine!

I do NOT use margarine - it's butter or dry, baby. Did you know that margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys? When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they came out with some clever flavorings and added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter? Read on...this gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine...

Very high in trans fatty acids.

Triples risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol).

Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.

Lowers quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

Here's the most disturbing fact...Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC.

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the
substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)

* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic.

Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

***
Holy Batwings, Soldier Boys!

Now this is just too cool - "elite special forces troops being dropped behind enemy lines on covert missions are to ditch their traditional parachutes in favour of strap-on stealth wings." They can glide in from high altitudes covering up to 120 miles making their approach practically undetectable. Sweet!

***
!337$p34k roxx0rs

Finally! A friendly guide to deciphering some of the crap that kids text and post in chat rooms & message boards. Kewl, dood!

***
Carlton Draught Beer Ad

The silliness is astounding.

***
WHY WHY WHY?

I've never been one to mix weird combinations of food together. In fact, I'm down right picky about this. When I was a kid, I would freak out if the portions of food on my plate would collide. ...and sweet things don't go with meat unless it's sweet & sour sauce. Some people like these weird combinations, but not I.

Case in point: the Luther Burger Not in A MILLION YEARS will you catch me eating one of these. *ack*

How stoned do you have to be to invent something like this?
"duuuude, we don't have any buns. Oooooh, we've got Krispy Kremes - that'll work! Duuude!"

Another fine example:
The Monte Cristo
It's a friggin' french toast sandwich!? Blargh! That's just WRONG.

I can't even stomach those McGriddle things. It just doesn't compute. Oh well - to each his own, I suppose.

***
RatherGood

The Rathergood.com boys have been at it again. Here are a couple of their ditties to enjoy:

Especially for Owl:
fooooootball!

...and for me, just because.
I like your pants.
*sniggers*

***
GIFS!

Here are my favorites from this week:

The Jessica Bashing Continues. Heehee

Bad girl! ;p

Holy Shit! It's Christopher Walken!

***
Well, on that note, I'd better get this up there so as not to disappoint. I'm tardy. D'oh!

Y'all have a fabulous weekend.

Feeling the Burn

2006-06-07T11:37:00.000-05:00

I have a new exercise program - I've been doing Pilates. I'm quite proud of myself, actually as it's no cake-walk. I'm feeling myself starting to limber up, but the first day some of the exercises made me raise one eyebrown and say "Yeah, right...like I'm going to be able to pull that off!" They're getting easier now, though. Pilates reminds me a lot of Yoga, which I suppose is good since I've always been interested in Yoga, but have never actually done it.

The damn weight loss hasn't been going well lately. After losing about 70 pounds, it's like my body caught on to what was happening and said "Ooooh, no, we're not going to have that!" so the loss came to a screaching halt. It's been so frustrating and it's become apparent that eating as I have been is no longer going to allow me to shed pounds, so I've resigned myself to the fact that I must exercise. No, chasing a 5 year old around doesn't count apparently.

When the weather started getting nice, I started walking on my lunch hour. That was all fine and good until the good old official Iowa summer kicked into gear. Recently, I would finish my walk (2.25 miles around the lake) dripping with sweat. Ug. It's no fun going back to work feeling like your clothes are all sticking to you.

So, last week I started Pilates. I go home at lunch (only a 10 min. drive), let the dog out and eat a bite. Then I strip and do pilates for the rest of the hour. I'm nice and comfy in my air conditioned carpeted living room with no one around to giggle at me. ...and nothing motivates you like looking at yourself stripped down in the mirror, that's for sure. lol

I'm pleasantly surpised that I'm actually enjoying this. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and I haven't had the afternoon sleepies as bad as usual. If it's not my imagination, I think it's working, too. I haven't stepped on the scale, but various areas (such as the butt/hips/thighs which I have been working VERY hard on) are starting to firm up. yay! So...I'm encouraged by how it's been going and looking forward to getting closer to my goal. I'm almost half way there. I'm already wearing pants that are 6 sizes smaller than before. Woot!

Unholy Holiday?

2006-06-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

Revelation 13:16-18:
"16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:
17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six."

Could that man be among us now? *snigger*

June 6, 2006.

For many, it's just another day, but for some it is a day full of fear, paranoia and foreboding. For some, this day is the beginning of the end days.

But for some more apocalyptic theologians, the end of times is coming, even if not specifically today. The evangelical Raptureready.com web site puts its "rapture index" at 156, calling that "fasten your seatbelts" time. Yeah. Get in, sit down, shut up, hold on.

Others find it a reason to party: Hell, MI planning a "hellish" party on 6/6/06

Out of curiosity, I checked out the Church of Satan's website (quite the interesting site they have there, by the way) to see what their take is on this date. I must admit that I was surprised by their answer: "For Satanists, numbers are just numbers, and June 6, 2006 is a day like any other. We are amused by Christians superstitiously being afraid of this number, as well as the date-which is not mentioned in any scriptures. Since we enjoy mocking irrationality in all its forms, we embraced this day to have a celebration of our organization's freedom from such nonsensical fears. Anton Szandor LaVey called Satanism a "Cosmic Joy Buzzer" to emphasize our function as iconoclasts and pranksters, so going where others "fear to tread" is par for our course." - High Priest, Magus Peter H. Gilmore

Hmmm...

Not surprisingly, today is the release of the newly remade The Omen. They've set up a rather intriguing website (for those not easily spooked, anyway). This most interesting part for me is the "Mark of the Beast" Quiz... "How will you interpret the signs all around us? The prophecy is clear. His day will come."

My results:

(Click it if you want to see it bigger/easier to read)
Wow. Now isn't that captivating?

They also discuss, on the Omen website, the Biochip. You can find some interesting views on the biochip here as well. If one interprets Revelations as being a prophesy, the Biochip could very well become the mark of the beast. I shudder to think of the possibilities for abuse of this technology and the danger it poses to everyone. If there is any possible way around it, neither I nor my child will be getting one. The implications simply creep me out.

Personally, I think today will pass just like any other normal day. ...that is, unless terrorists decide to use the occasion to strike as I've heard they might. There will surely be a lot of hoo-haw going around from the paranoid, the superstitious, and those who take the Bible quite literally.

"A pessimist only sees the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them." - Leonard L. Levinson

I wish you a happy, stress-free, and peaceful day.

Keeping Gaelic Alive

2006-06-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

Although the most common language in Scotland today is English, the oldest language still spoken there is Scottish Gaelic. It is one of the few surviving Celtic languages. Gaelic has existed in the British Isles far longer than English, and is the source of numerous English words. It is closely related to Irish and Manx, and more distantly to Welsh, Cornish and Breton. Gaelic is at the core of the culture and history of Scotland.

It is unknown exactly when Gaelic began to be spoken in Scotland, but placename evidence shows that the language was spoken in the Rhins of Galloway (a hammer-head peninsula off the southwest coast of Scotland) by the 5th century AD. However, the traditional language of the Gaels who lived in the Highlands, Islands and southwest, is now spoken by only 1.2 per cent of the population. No community in Scotland is entirely fluent - even the Western Isles, which has been the major stronghold for the language, has an approximate fluency rate of only 60 per cent. The language is dying as the largely elderly Gaelic-speaking population pass away.

Gaelic is often described as a language stuck in the past, with no way to discuss modern ideas and culture which is one of the reasons it has failed to take hold in this generation of young people. In order for the language to survive, it needs to be spoken by young people who will pass it on to future generations, and for this to happen something fairly drastic must be done. An important step forward for Gaelic was taken a while back as 2000 new words were added to the language, and a purpose-built Gaelic primary school is currently under construction in Inverness.

In 2003, the SaveGaelic.org project was developed with the purpose of preserving Scottish Gaelic and promoting its use. It is an online forum for the Gaelic community which collects news and provides a rudimentary Gaelic lesson, advice on further learning resources, a history of the language, and other related information. Their website is an excellent resource for anyone interested in Gaelic.

Although I only speak a tiny bit of Gaelic myself (and I'm hoping to learn more), I hope the language and it's heritage can be preserved. Much of my ancestry lies in the beautiful land of Ayreshire - I am a direct descendant of the Burns family. Though Gaelic does not flow fluently from my tongue, it runs in my blood.

Perhaps one day I can go visit my favorite Scottish lass MissusEss and take a crash course! After all, there's no better way to learn a language than to submerse yourself in it (though there's a distinct risk that I'd never come back). :)

SASF v.6.2.6 - WTF Files

2006-06-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to tell you how many things have made me say "WTF??" this week. It's a crazy, screwed up world out there and the best of it is on the internet, baybees. Here's a plethora of goodies for you and this is just the tip of the iceberg...

***
Free Sex Change? Just Commit Murder!

Convicted murderer thinks tax $ should pay for his sex change operation. "Cruel and unusual punishment" to NOT pay thousands in tax dollars to make him a woman? Give me a friggin' break!! Give him a knife and some pain killers and let him do it himself! What about the woman he murdered? Oh, I'm just going to shut up now about this one.

***
Batwoman reborn as a lesbian?

Woo hoo, she's hot! lol

How is her sexuality really relevant, though, unless the character has sex in the comics? Wait...never mind.

***
IM Wierdness

Ok, this is the weirdest IM conversation I've seen in a while:

Exerpt:
(19:45:05) yehudahtrottier: Have a rice cake.
(19:45:20) warpkorebreach: more like ricer cake
(19:46:20) yehudahtrottier: R?
(19:46:55) yehudahtrottier: There is too much confusion.
(19:47:01) yehudahtrottier: I must compute.
(19:47:10) warpkorebreach: you're a confusion
(19:47:16) yehudahtrottier: I must know your ways.
(19:47:22) warpkorebreach: I have no ways
(19:47:28) warpkorebreach: I am merely a humble yugo columnist
(19:47:44) yehudahtrottier: Why does the Yugo exist?
(19:48:12) warpkorebreach: I think Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker had a post about that recently
(19:48:51) yehudahtrottier: Where can I see it?
(19:48:58) warpkorebreach: www.ricedoutyugo.com

um...yeah
Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker? *snort*

***
Geoducks!

Now these are some of the freakin' weirdest looking creatures I've ever seen.

...and they're so...so...phallic! Geoduck chowder, anyone? Yikes!

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Speaking of Funky Creatures...

It's CLONING GONE WRONG! Dun dun dun duuuuuuuun!

heh

Whoa...just whoa:

Something about that almost looks right. lol

Yikes!

National dog?

Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly...OMFG!!!

I'll never swim in the ocean again
I'll never swim in the ocean again
*shudder*

***
Ooooh, I'm Skeered.

God told Pat Robertson that the US is going to get creamed by a Tsunami.
Go Pat (you idiot.) Yes, please go...far far away.

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Giggle Stick

That's what this chick has obviously been repeatedly beaten with.

WTF, girl? I have to admit - the Legolas part cracked me up.

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Bare - Uh - Coo - Duh

*Sniggers*

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Makes Others Say "WTF"

This dude rocks:
Things you can't do when you're NOT in a pool.

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WTF Ads

The government has a gay list???

Hell no, I didn't click on it. That might put ME on the gay list! lol

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Very clever!

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oooh, Sparkly!

Who would like to have shit that sparkles? ...and in sterling silver, no less!? WTF, indeed!

***
Heh heh

Ah, another lovely Lost parody.
Bwaaahahah!

***
WTF did she DO?

You know, I've never been a Jessica Simpson fan. I just can't manage to have even a tiny shred of respect for a hollow vessel of idiocy like her. However, I will agree that she's hot. Well, let me rephrase that - she WAS hot.

Yikes! That hair?!?! ...and her tan looks fake. She so...orange! Didn't her boobs used to defy gravity? You've got some serious droopage going on there, Jess. Holy shit, WTF was she thinking?!

***

Ok, that's more than enough silliness for today. I have to get to work. *grumble*

A Review & A Rant

2006-06-01T08:24:00.000-05:00

I still feel like I'm in holiday weekend mode. I also feel like it's Wednesday. Bah.

This weekend was nice. We went to the farmer's market Saturday morning & got some asparagus, rosemary plants, catnip plants and a watermelon. I love the farmer's market. About halfway through exploring the market, it started raining. It was so funny to watch the people duck & run as we strolled along in the rain. Sheesh, people, you're not going to melt! lol

We normally buy a pie from the Amish pie experts, but they were practically sold out by the time we got there. I had some rhubarb in the freezer from 2 weeks ago, so I got inspired and made two strawberry rhubarb pies from scratch. I sweetened them with Splenda as to minimize the damage. lol

The pies were a hit - we had a family get-together/barbeque on Sunday and people were fighting over the pie (amicably, of course). I even caught one nephew hiding some of it in his own personal "pie-stash." Yep - I think I'll be baking more pie this weekend. Who here likes rhubarb? :)

So, Sunday we spent most of the day cooking or eating - salads, deviled eggs, smoked ribs *drool* and PIE. We waddled out of there and went home Sunday night and watched Hoodwinked. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It was a VERY cute and funny movie. Loved it.

Monday, my friend Kim and I took our kids to the zoo. We had a great time. Check out friendly Meester Giraffe...

Yep, that's the D-Man & his buddy Hannah.

Jellies!

All in all, it was a nice, relaxing weekend.

NOW...the rant.

WHAT THE HELL is up with these stupid birds that start chirping and singing at 4 f'in 30 AM!?!? For the last week or two, I have been disturbed from my dreams by very enthusiastic chirping - always around 4:30. It's pitch dark then, thankyouverymuch. I have no problem with them chirping at dawn, you see, as I usually get up about then. It's even quite pleasant. At 4:30, however, IT'S NIGHT TIME SO SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO SLEEP! *phew* OK, I feel better now. Anyone have a bb gun? heh

5 Tips for a Woman

2006-05-30T15:19:00.000-05:00

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

bwaaaahahahaha!

Honor

2006-05-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

To my great great great grandfather, who in the Civil War was left for dead on the battlefield at Vicksburg, cast his first vote for Abraham Lincoln in 1864, lived to be 93 and father 11 children. I wish I could have known you.

To my great uncle Davey who fought at Omaha beach and beyond, giving up his youth in WWII. You'll always be a hero in my eyes.

To my dear friend Pod, who fought in Vietnam, carrying it with him all of his days. I miss you, sweet man. You used to bring me flowers, now I bring them to you.

To Steve, who also lost his youth in Vietnam, and still walks with the pride of a Marine to this day. You have my admiration.

To Paul, the gentle giant, everyone's hero, doing your third round in Iraq. You've dedicated your whole life to our service.

To Jeff, who just left today to head for Afghanistan for the 2nd time. Be safe and come home in one piece. You'll be missed.

To my cousin Mark, Army Special Forces retiree. Your dedication was inspiring. I know you'd be there now if you could.

To our friend Tim, who found himself in the Army just when it seemed he had lost himself, you're still in Afghanistan. Your transformation has been amazing and we are so proud of you.

To Sean, the Navy Doc, still in the box, and to Denny and Vince and Jack...to ALL of the veterans, peacetime and war, who have defended our freedom with their dedicated service...

Thank you.

(Although I realize that Memorial Day is meant to be a day to honor those who have fallen in battle, I felt compelled to honor those who would have gladly, but were lucky enough not to and those who still could, heaven forbid.)

SASF v.5.26.6 - Worth 1000

2006-05-26T15:43:00.000-05:00

Greetings and Happy Friday! Beings that I'm not particularly lucid today, I have some funny pictures to share with you. I went to the concert last night and it was awesome! There was quite a lot of crowd surfing, however, so you had to watch it or get kicked in the head. It was hotter than Hades in there, but it was so worth it. I think I sweated off about 10 pounds. Woot!

Faktion played first and they were pretty good. I had never heard them before, but they sounded pretty good and I enjoyed their stage antics. Theory, on the other hand, rocked as usual. I got to meet the guys from Theory after their set and got them to scribble things and hugs & stuff. Yay! Hug the sweaty fans! *grin* Hinder sounded great, but we didn't stay for all of their set as we were simply and completely worn out. Today, I'm sore in places I shouldn't be from all the moshing and jostling and surfer passing. :)

Alright, enough blather. On with the show!

***
Ha ha ha ha ha

Klingon Band

***
70,000 Cans of Beer in the House, 70,000 Cans of Beeeer...

How the hell could someone LIVE here?

***
Gifs of the Week

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Tattoo of the Week

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Reach the Summit, Play a Ditty

Piano Found on Britain's Highest Mountain

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Gratuitous Video Link

Get Firefox already!
*snickers*

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Made Me Giggle

I bet the dude with the mace and the 4-wheeler wins. lol

(thanks, Archmage)

***
Interstate Fun

Check this out:
3 helium filled missle balloons
1 truck/car to tie them onto
Hit the interstate and drive like a bat out of hell and watch people freak out. Woot!

(Thanks, Michelle)

***
Enough already. I'm going to try to sneak out of here early and go take a nap (that is, if I can get frickin' blogger to PUBLISH, damn it!). *yawn* Nitey nite.

Squee!

2006-05-25T16:49:00.000-05:00

I'm going to see Theory of a Deadman, Hinder & Faktion tonight!! Woot! I've seen Theory already once already (with Saliva) and they totally kicked ass. I hear this lineup is even better. I'M SO EXCITED!

Aw, Nuts

2006-05-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

Today I would like to talk a bit about nuts. No, not walnuts, peanuts, cashews...I'm talking gonads, family jewels, balls - you know? Testicles? Yeah.

It's a weird subject, I know. Hey, I blog about what's on my mind, you know? Dang, that sounds bad. Oh well. heh

It came to my attention yesterday that guys who often go "commando" and let it all hang loose have a tendency to experience gravity in a unique way. They stretch and, after a while, hang quite low. It seems to me that this would be uncomfortable, but what do I know?

Anyway, Chris told me last night about what a buddy of his has been up to. His apparently hang quite low - low enough to pull them up over the waistband of his pants/shorts. Yes, I know...ewww! Anyway, he recently did this with one of them at some kind of party or something and showed it to a few people claiming that it was a tumor. He had one guy fascinated by it, and I guess this guy was poking at it and looking at it real close. I laughed my ass off. I don't know if he told the poor fool what was really up, but that's the kind of hilarious sicko stuff that he does. This is what they talk about when they go disc golfing!? Men! What a hoot.

Related to the same topic, what the hell is up with these balls that people are mounting under the tailgates of their trucks?! Have you seen these things? I guess they want people to know that "this truck's got balls" but holy buckets we don't need to SEE them! Yikes. I've seen some that are metal and those aren't so bad I suppose, but ones like these are just wrong:

WTF, man? That's practically indecent exposure. Hmmm...I wonder if they'd break if you kick them. heh heh.

Hell, why don't they go ahead and mount a big 'ole plastic penis to the grill to complete the picture? Jeez.

Guys, please tell me - what is UP with this?

Oooooh, for some more hilarious stuff about antics with man-bits, check this out. Man, oh man. *snort* (thanks Derek, you freak)

2006-05-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that I hope will never leave

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

- Pat Monahan, Train

SASF v.5.19.6 - Mixed Bag O' Crap

2006-05-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

Not that it's been a crappy week or anything. I just seem to have the word "crap" stuck in my head. I guess it could be worse. Ok, ok...on with it.

***
Holy Crap

...or perhaps that should be Holy Cracks. heh
A few tidbits of thongy video goodness (NSFW if you have prudes around. lol):

This guy is apparently quite proud of his physique. He's got to work on those moves, though, if he wants to be a stripper. Sorry honey, but perhaps you might want to pursue a different profession. Yikes.

Good Gawd - It's the Thong Song

Is it just me, or does this girl have the biggest bubble butt EVER? J-Lo, eat your heart out! Jeez, do you think she had them enhanced or something?

***
Wrong Crap

Have I told you lately how much Photoshop rocks? Heh heh

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Crap Overload

Holy shit, I have no idea what to say. I reached sensory overload 1/3 of the way through this page. (...although the newsgirl stuff did make me giggle quite a lot)

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Cool Crap

Vince, I knew you'd dig these. Thought of you immediately when I found them.

This one will be awesome when it’s painted:

I think this one is my favorite:

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Scary Crap

Buddhism by Betty. I'm skeeered.

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Hilarious Crap

Awww, they want a nice picture to give to Mom on Mother's day. How sweet. LMAO

***
Favorite Animated Bits of Crap of the Week

I heart .gifs.

heeheehee

***
Crappy Hiding Spot

The Brief Safe - Not a bad idea! Although hiding things in "feminine hygiene product" boxes has always worked for me. heh

***
Bizarre Crap

Just bizarre. Mildly entertaining, though...definitely a study in human behavior. Lol

Go get 'em, girl! lol

***
Now, see how handy the word "crap" can be? lol

Well kids, that's all I've got for you this week. What a bunch of crap, eh? lol! Have a great weekend. *smoooch*

The Discomfort of Letting Go

2006-05-18T08:15:00.000-05:00

This summer is going to be a nerve-wracking one for me. I can see it already. This is the summer that I'm going to have to let my little boy go.

No, he's not leaving - he wants to "run with the pack." He has several friends in the neighborhood - the girl next door who's 7, the girl across the street who's 6, and two from down the street who are 5 and 7. They all get to roam around the neighborhood and play.

Last year, they would come to our house and play and that was great, but I wouldn't let D go with them when they left - told him he was too little. This year I don't think I'm going to be able to get away with that. So, last night I let him go for the first time. The group came over to play, and pretty soon they decided to move on. D wanted to go with them and I let him. I told him to be very careful crossing the street (we've gone over that 100 times, but...) and to stay with the other kids and stay out of trouble. We've gone over things like stranger danger, keeping out of the street - all the safety stuff. I know the kids' moms and they all know they're not to go in someone elses house unless their mom knows where they are. I reminded the whole group not to go outside of our block and I asked his two closest friends in the group to watch out for him and help keep him safe. They assured me that they would.

I was a nervous wreck. You should have seen him, though...he was having a blast.

I'm the kind of mom who doesn't like to let him out of my sight. I sat on our porch, a rather high vantage point thankfully, and watched them wander around each other's yards, in the alley, between the houses, on the sidewalk. When they got out of view, I'd wander over to that side of the yard and pull a few weeds or something so I could watch. When they went over behind the houses across the street, I really got worried thinking about all of the things that could happen to my baby. I can't coddle him forever, though...he's a boy. He's going to want to run and explore. Gah!

After a bit, I went over to Brianna's house and visited with her mom. It helped to talk to her about my insecurities and nervousness, and she was very understanding and reassuring. She was in this same spot last summer.

The kids were in her back yard playing at the time, so I felt better being close by. They would come to the door from time to time and report in. The littlest boy, Tony, it seems is a bit of a story-teller. He told me that the D-Man hit him, which his sister negated by standing behind him shaking her head no. Mmm hmm. A little bit later he told me that the D-Man had "runned off". I went to the door and there he was, playing with the others. Yeah, little man, I've got your number.

Pretty soon, it was supper time for some of the other kids and they had to go, so the D-man and I went back home. It was nearly pajama time for him anyway.

I know that this was just a little taste of things to come. They are good kids for the most part, and I know I shouldn't worry so much but I can't help it. He's my baby. I have to trust him and let him branch out. But ...aw shit. It's just so hard because I'd die if anything ever happened to him. I guess I don't really have to let go yet...just loosen my grip a little. *whimper*

Not Smart

2006-05-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

It's not advisable to attempt to paint ones nails when one has had a few too many drinky-poos.

So not smart.

Iowa, A Place to Kill Defraud Neglect Grow

2006-05-16T09:15:00.000-05:00

In this mornings headlines today, there is death, tragedy and outrage. It's a typical day in the news, I suppose.

First, we have the 25 year old mother who killed her child - or rather let her die. The 3 year old girl died of starvation. They say she weighed twelve pounds when she died. TWELVE POUNDS! The average weight for a three year old is 33 pounds. The mother sure doesn't look malnourished to me, so I doubt it was lack of food. Hell, according to her stats from the jail, she's 5'3" and 190 pounds. She has two other children that protective services took away from her, though I haven't heard what their conditions are. HOW could a mother do something like this? I just don't understand. Couldn't someone have seen the condition this little girl was in and got her some help before it was too late?

Aww, looks like she's been crying. Perhaps that's because she's being charged with first degree murder. In my opinion, she should be locked away in a cell and left to starve to death.

Next up, we have the trio in rural Iowa who have been arrested for 176 counts of animal neglect. Authorities raided their property and seized 176 starving, sick cats and dogs. Conditions there were some of the worst that have ever been seen here in Iowa. 50 of them were so ill that they had to be euthanized. How the hell? I can't even imagine the suffering of these poor animals.

We have continuing coverage of a local scandal where a handful of greedy bastards arranged to have their salaries inflated so as to be proportionate to their egos using federal and state funds to do so. Their job? They oversee a government job training program. At least a couple of them were paying themselves in excess of $300,000 of our taxes per year with LOTS of nice perks. Someone finally noticed and now they're all unemployed and in the hot seat. heh

Moving along, we have the corpse of a dead woman that was found in a barrel in the woods. They are trying to figure out who's body it is and how it got there though it appears to have been there for years. Oh well, at least one family will be able to finally get closure when it comes to their missing loved one.

It's so hard to read the daily news and not come away from it totally depressed. There are good things going on out there, but we rarely hear about them. Someone really should start a "good news" channel of sorts - something you can watch or read after the regular news to pick up your spirits a bit.

In the hunt among today's headlines for good news, I found this:

DES MOINES, Iowa -- Travis Daniels has finished his mission -- sail one of Iowa's largest lakes to raise money for a youth sailing program. For 10 days, the Johnston man sailed Lake Red Rock in southern Iowa in a wind-whipped fundraiser which took in $7,500. His trip, which ended on Saturday, covered 1000 miles.
The money raised for the Red Rock Yacht Club's "Kruise for Kids" will be used to buy boats and other supplies to teach sailing, racing and water safety to area children ages 7 to 18.
Daniels, who's the club's commodore, said he volunteered to sail the lake because "no one else was crazy enough to do it."

Gee, I feel so uplifted. not.