Merry Christmas

I'm off this afternoon to try to finish my shopping for Christmas gifts. Yes yes, I know...at least I won't have to fight the weekend crowds of procrastinators this weekend. Hope you all have a peaceful, happy holiday. xoxo

Have I lost it? Why YES!

*grin*

Is spring here yet? Shit. Guess not.


"Elaine - Enjoying a Few Drinks and a Traditional Mustard Easter Cigar with Bathing Easterish Ponies, Hello Kitty Heads and a Ton of Headache Inducing Marshmellow Fuckwads" by Merkley

My sidebar is borked. So is my header. Jeebus, even my profile image is. I have to get my butt in gear and fix all this stuff...or not. Damn, I'm lazy.

Yeah...I hotlinked. Bad girl! *swats self in the butt* If someone yells, I'll fix it but I'm to feckin' lazy to do it without being yelled at. lol

My dad told me that "the Golden Compass" is evil because it's an athiest movie. huh? O.o

Just in case you wondered, 'tater tots are evil. pure.evil. yes.

I used to be apathetic but now I just don't care.
*laughs*

bwaaahahah

not the ride on anyone's shirt tail, but I also don't want to make a liar out of myself *points down at last post*.

I'm too busy giggling and guffawing at this, however...

Go look and laugh with me.

Happy Friday!

Revival

Hey! Hi there. How the hell are ya?

For those of you that still pop in to check on me these days (all what...2 of you?), apologies for my absence. It's true that I am still spending the majority of my on-line time in Second Life. I have a ton of cool friends there, a job doing security in a club, I build, dance...blah blah. You don't wanna hear about all that, I know.

Yesterday I was looking for a particular picture that I knew I had posted in my blog. As I combed through my archives, it occurred to me that I really do miss this creative outlet. It might take me a bit to get back into it, but I think I'm going to try to start posting regularly again.

Ahh, it's good to be back. Now to make the rounds and see how many links over here are outdated/dead. *sigh*

'Round and 'Round We Go

7/7/7

Made of Pain

A woman is not made of flesh, bone and sinew
belly and breasts, elbows and liver and toe.
She is manufactured like a sports sedan.
She is retooled, refitted and redesigned
every decade.

Cecile had been seduction itself in college.
She wriggled through bars like a satin eel,
her hips and ass promising, her mouth pursed
in the dark red lipstick of desire.

She visited years later still wearing dark red lipstick,
and danced through Manhattan in mini skirt,
hair loose as a horse's mane.
Oh dear, whatever has happened to poor Cecile?
She was out of fashion, out of the game,
disqualified, disdained, dismembered from the club of desire.

Look at pictures in French fashion magazines of the 18th century:
Century of the Ultimate Lady
a fantasy wrought of silk and corseting.
Paniers bring her hips out three feet
each way, while the waist is pinched
and the belly flattened under wood.
The breasts are stuffed up and out
offered like apples in a bowl.
The tiny foot is encased in a slipper
never meant for walking.
On top is a grandiose headache:
hair like a museum piece, daily ornamented with ribbons,
vases, grottoes, mountains, frigates in full sail,
balloons, baboons, the fancy of a hairdresser turned loose.
The hats were rococo wedding cakes
that would dim the Las Vegas strip.
Here is a woman forced into shape
rigid exoskeleton torturing flesh:
a woman made of pain.

How superior we are now: see the modern woman
thin as a blade of scissors.
She runs on a treadmill every morning,
fits herself into machines of weights
and pulleys to heave and grunt,
an image in her mind she can never approximate,
a body of rosy glass that never wrinkles,
never grows, never fades.
She sits at the table closing her eyes to food
hungry, always hungry:
a woman made of pain.

A cat or dog approaches another,
they sniff noses. They sniff asses.
They bristle or lick.
They fall in love as often as we do,
as passionately.
But they fall in love or lust with furry flesh,
not hoop skirts or push up bras,
rib removal or liposuction.
It is not for male or female dogs
that poodles are clipped like topiary hedges.

If only we could like each other raw.
If only we could love ourselves
like healthy babies burbling in our arms.
If only we were not programmed and reprogrammed
to need what is sold us.
Why should we want to live inside ads?
Why should we want to scourge our softness
to straight lines like a Mondrian painting?
Why should we punish each other with scorn
as if to have a large ass were worse than being greedy or mean?

When will women not be compelled
to view their bodies as science projects,
gardens to be weeded, dogs to be trained?
When women cease to be made of pain?

Happy Easter

ACK O.o

Damn, I overdid it last night. I'm told by my partner in crime, a girl I've been friends with since we were four years old, that we now have a Friday night tradition. That would be going to Hugh's Jungle Room and dancing, drinking and doing karaoke. Yes, that's right - Celti got up on stage and sang. EEP!

I had not performed in public since college musicals. Although I know I sound freaking awesome when singing in my car to the radio (lol), I wasn't so sure about this. Turns out I did ok...got a few compliments from strangers, so it couldn't have been half bad. I sang "strong enough" by Cheryl Crow. :)

Anyway, they have this signature drink there named a Texas (something quite rude that rhymes with agate) and whoo, boy. It's a powerful concoction. I only had three last night and man, was I blasted. This morning, I was most certainly green around the gills. ack.

I won't share my views on my musical performance of last night. Let's just say ack again. lol Anyway, I'll beware of the drinks, and will be sure to pick out more songs that suit my range and attitude like Cheryl. :)

My friend, I'll call her Neece, is a freaking hoot. In the 30+ years we've been friends, we've never fought, never had a falling out at all. We tend to go for periods where we don't see each other much, then we fall right back in just as if we talked yesterday. She is a priceless gem.

Ahhh, fun times...

My Goodness, Yes

...I'm still alive. I'm ok. I'm keeping on keepin' on. I have plans. I'm moving forward. Life is good and bad and confusing and amazing. That's really about all I can tell you. ...well, except for I love you for continuing to care about what's up. LJ post coming soon, methinks. *smooches*

Bad to the Bone

Hello! Yes, yes, I am alive and well...I've just been a bit swept away from the blogger world, that's all. I've been bad and I apologize for seemingly abandoning this, my home on the internet.

Honestly...it's Second Life. Really. It's pretty much all I do while on-line now-a-days. I dance in a club there, have a place of my own, have tons of wonderful friends and am even working on starting my own business. I'm learning to build things, and reception to them has been great, so I'm looking into selling them. There are people who actually make a living running their own business in Second Life, peeps! I'm not kidding. Find something that's in demand, word gets out and you've got it. It's no joke really...Second Life is growing like a field of weeds.

...a few stats for you:
Total Second Life Residents: 2,594,214
Online Now: 21,499
US$ Spent Last 24hours: $849,397

That's 24 hours. Nearly a million in 24 hours. There are days that I've seen it to be over a million. Unfortunately, they are a private company right now, so no stock available, but you can bet I'll be buying some if they go public. Wooo ha!

I've actually considered starting a Second Life blog. I think I would call it "Avies Behaving Badly". *grins* There are tons of them...go look. It's just that there are so many crazy things that go on, so many tangled up relationships and scenarios. It really would be a scream. I've explored the world of being a neko(part cat, part human), have gotten to know the social and feeding habits of shemales, befriended furries and demons...it's freaking amazing. Oh...and I'm a dominatrix in training! :p

Sooo...how are you? lol

Pffft - Updated

I heard a song this afternoon that pretty much wrapped up how I'm feeling lately. Because I don't feel as if I can properly express myself with my own words, here you go:

You can look at the menu but you just cant eat
You can feel the cushions but you cant have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you cant have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you cant commit the sin
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can build a mansion but you just cant live in it
Youre the fastest runner but youre not allowed to win
Some break the rules
And live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that wont get lost
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can see the summit but you cant reach it
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just cant make it fit
Doctor says youre cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

Merry fucking Christmas
Bah humbug.

UPDATE - 12/23
Well folks, my attitude has improved significantly since I posted this (thank you Lani, Spc...). It was just one of those weak moments, lubricated by alcohol and pushed by the surface by demons.

I'm looking forward to watching my little one squeal with delight on Christmas as he opens all his packages. He will be very happy and that makes me happy...that's really all that matters. I am loved and for that I'm thankful.

My best wishes for a lovely, peaceful holiday to you all. *hugs*

Off the face of the earth is really a lovely place.

...and the fall didn't really hurt at all!

I know, I know...you were so worried about me, right?

Right?

lol

Well, I'll be the first to admit that I've been bad. Very bad. I've been drunk many times, smoked, went to strip clubs and had lap dances, played on-line games for far too long, cybered, played with guns - I've just been a bad girl. Spank me.

In addition to all of the above, since I've spoken here, I've been sick as a dog. I fell victim to some nasty virus that raped my sinuses and shit in my lungs. I think I've finally blown them right out my nose, though, so all is well. I've been shuttling the child to appointments, Christmas shopping, reluctantly playing the domestic diva role, and generally slacking off as much as I can get away with.

I've popped around to most of your blogs and read at least a couple of times per week, but I just haven't felt that I've had anything significant to say here. I've neglected my Live Journal groups to the point that there is no hope of my ever catching up on what I've missed. Oh, well.

Honestly, most of my on-line time now-a-days is devoted to Second Life. If you haven't checked it out, DO! It is freakin' amazing. It's an on-line virtual world where you can build things (and even sell them if you want), go shopping, take classes, go clubbing, interact with others while you do anything from going to church to participating in a BDSM orgy. You can even fly and teleport! The characters (aka avatars) are strikingly realistic. I've met many great friends there and have been having a blast. So yeah...I've been sucked in and I'm loving it. If you sign up, give me your SL name and I'll "friend" you. :)

So, that's where I've been. Where have you been and what have you been up to?

"Is the glass half-full or empty?" I ask her as I fill it.
She said it doesn't really matter, pretty soon you're bound to spill it.
With the half logical language of the sermon she delivers
And the way she smiles so knowingly at me gives me the shivers.
I pull the blanket higher when I'm finally safe at home.
She'll take a hundred with her, but she always sleeps alone.
The girl with the weight of the world in her hands.

Trials

I am SO glad this is a short week. Last week was trying to say the least. I try so hard to stay positive, and then something happens that makes you just want to throw your hands up and say "fuck it."

Not that I want to document every shitty thing that happens here - au contraire, I'd rather focus on the good. Some times it's a simple thing that comes along and puts things in perspective. Thank heavens for those things. I had one of those moments this morning.

I was thinking about the ride home from my parent's place last night. We went to visit them since they're heading for Colorado today. The drive is about and hour and a half, and we set out about 6 or so to head home.

We stopped for gas and to air up a tire that was a bit low. We grabbed a few snacks and hit the road. The D-Man chose cheetos and some chocolate milk. Hey, his choices, so whatever but it sounded like a gross combination to me.

Anyway, about 15 miles out of town, D pipes up from the back seat with "Mom, I puked." WHAT?? I was driving, so Chris turned around to check things out and confirmed that he had spewed cheetos and chocolate milk all over his front. Lovely. Fortunately, his sweatshirt took the majority of the hit, and I was able to pull over, get him out of the car because he was threatening to spew again, and get his sweatshirt off without spreading the mess around. He had a shirt on underneath, but was cold so I gave him my jacket. No more puking. Whew. Turns out that was a bad combination after all.

So, on we went down the road. After seeing a large deer hanging out on the side of the road ("Doop de doo, oh, hey! A car!"), I felt fortunate that he hadn't decided to meet my bumper.

We came into the city and hit the freeway to head to our area. As I entered the freeway, that pesky tire that had been low started making an awful noise. Uh oh. I made it about 1/2 mile and BLAM! A blowout. Now, consider that we are on a section of freeway that has no lane to pull over into. Yeah - about 3 feet of space. I pulled off as far as I could and turned on the blinkers. Dodging traffic whipping by at 65 miles per hour, I jumped out and pulled D out of the passenger side while Chris dug the jack out of the trunk and got to work. D and I stood up on the enbankment - there was no way we were sitting in that car in case some idiot rear-ended us - a dangerous situation to say the least.

Now, remember that I had given my jacket to D. It was about 30 degrees and I have no jacket. *shiver* I parked D up there with instructions not to move a muscle, and proceeded to dig the spare out of the trunk. Chris got the shredded tire off and took the spare, and I chucked the trashed tire into the trunk. Team work, I tell ya.

Anyway, getting back to the point, I drove D to school and in to work on a donut this morning. As I drove along and pondered last night's drive, an old favorite came on the radio. The lyrics - that's what put things back into perspective a bit...

Well the first days are the hardest days,
Don't you worry any more
'Cause when life looks like Easy Street
there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

It's the same story the crow told me.
It's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Woh - oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?

No time to dwell on shit like that.
I had a spare, D feels fine and we got home safe, that's all that matters.
Let it flow and let it go.

WTF? It's El Sid's Fault - Really, it is.

1) What stickers do you have on your car, if any?
A "Dogs Deserve Better - No Chains!" sticker and several small sun/celestial type doohickeys.

2) What posters do you have in your room?
Um...which room? I have a few in the computer room (Grow Hemp for the War, the island I lived on in Paris, a spooky looking witch-type girl...), but not in my bedroom. I'm a grown up now, silly. I took David Cassidy down at least 2 years ago!

3) What do you hear right now?
The very annoying buzzing of my CPU. *smacks CPU*

4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
Bailey's Irish Creme

5) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My head is providing me with a dull ache.

6) If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
No, but Karma and I would share a hearty high-five.

7) What's your job position called?
Marketing dowhateverineedtodotomakeyourshitorganizedandprofessional*gasp* soyoucanmakealotmoremoneythanme Assistant

8) What size ring do you wear?
Which finger, ya dork? They're all different sizes!

9) Do you own a camera phone?
Yes, yes I do, so don't pull any funny stuff around me that you don't want documented.

10) What's your bf/gf birthday?
I can't answer this since I don't have a bf/gf.

11) What was your elementary school's mascot?
A squat, drooly bulldog. He was stinky and made pig noises.

12) What's your favorite bottled water?
Aquafina, I suppose. What difference does it make???

13) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when?
Just saw the Blue Man Group this week. I'm pondering the idea of going to see Supernova, but I'm sure I won't decide until the only seats left will give you a nosebleed.

14) What were you doing at 9 pm last night?
None of your business. Let's just say I was on my hands and knees. *grin*

15) What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
Pumpkin Spice Latte - No, that's not an overweight, burnt-out Spice Girl

16) Do you exercise as much as you should?
Hell, no! Who does?

17) Did you attend your High School prom?
Yes, I did...in a tuxedo. I shit you not.

18) Did you go to someone else's prom?
Hell, no.

19) Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you?
I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A bf/gf! You're not listening, damnit! If I did, however, probably not. Then again, we could get into the whole debate over what really counts as "cheating" and sexual relations and crap. Aw, hell.

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:
Ooooh kaaay.

Something purple within 5 feet of you:
My big honkin' Eddie Bauer water bottle.

How long can you hold your breath underwater?
long enough to sneak up on you and depants you. muuaaaahaha

The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
I don't remember but I'm fairly certain it didn't end well.

How much Japanese do you know?
There was this kinky gal named Keiko who gave me a lapdance...oh. Domo arigato.

Sparkly things?
uh... yeah, the diamond on my finger is sparkly. Does that count?

Ever crash a car, been in accidents?
Never with me driving (knocks on wood) - I've always been the horrified, helpless front seat passenger. Three times. Because of this, I have a tendency to stomp the imaginary brake & gasp a lot - just let me drive.

Do you look good in yellow?
Simply put - no.

Do you sing?
I sure do. I do a wonderful Chester from Linkin Park. Screaming and all.

Ever sang in front of a crowd?
Yes, yes. High School/College musicals & shit. Oh yeah, karaoke. \m/

Do you dance?
Yes indeedy. I even took lessons when I was younger. No, you can't see the pictures.

Is your hair long enough to chew on?
I'd guess if someone wanted to chew on your hair, they are zombies trying to get to your brain and you must immediately hit them in the head with a cricket bat or your life is forfeit. (This was Sid's answer, but I had to leave it because it was fucking brilliant.)

Least favorite color?
pink. You will not catch me wearing pink. It makes me wretch.

Favorite kind of pizza?
Thin crust sausage & mushroom is the standard, but that chicken garlic pie from California Pizza Kitchens is rocking my socks.

Ever had Dippin' Dots?
What the fuck are Dippin' Dots? I guess that would mean no.

Ever played an instrument?
Yup - piano, French horn, trumpet, bass guitar.

How many tickets do u have?
Tickets? Lottery tickets? Concert tickets? BE MORE SPECIFIC, LOSER!!

Do you own your own car?
Yes, I do. Hooray for no car payments!

What kind of car is it?
Chevy Lumina. Boring, but fast and reliable.

Do you want to get married?
Um...been there, done that.

At what age do you want to have kids?
Been there, done that, too.

How many kids?
No more. I really think it wise to avoid contributing to the overpopulation of this fine planet. That, and my sanity would surely suffer should I have any more. Oops, too late for that.

***

You made it this far? Well, bless your freakin' little heart. Here are a couple funnies for you as a reward:

Photoshop madness!

Santa, how COULD you?

My work is done here. Now, comment, damnit! ;p
Out.

WTFF v.11.10.6 - Video Madness!

Yay, it's Friday! Damn, this has been a long week.

Here is this weeks crop of (mostly) video WTFness for your enjoyment...

***
...and the Gold Goes TO *insert drumroll*

This:



The sweetest damned .gif avatar I've seen in...well, probably forever. It's now one of my LiveJournal avatars. Yes!

I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE CARPET SHIP!

***
Life of a Bug

This gives quite the interesting perspective on things.


Gone, Daddy, Gone!
Ohhhh kaaaay.

***
Nekkid Magic

This little gem will is giggle-worthy. NSFW, though - if the title doesn't clue you in enough to that.

***
Another Round?

Dude's just a wee bit drunk, methinks.

***
Don't Touch the Swingline!


"That's the last straw. *cachunk*" Bwaaahahaha!

***
Flip, is that You?

Indy_Car_Flips_More_Times_than_Heinz_has_Ketchup

That spectator they show at the end is lucky as hell!

***
Heeeeeey



*snickers*
*deep breath*

Bwaaahahahaha!

***
Definitely WTF

This is one of the most bizarre little movies I've seen in quite a while. WTF is about right.

***
Not so Much WTF - More Humana Humana

Sin City is such a cool movie. ...and then there's Nancy. Mrowr.

***
Well, that's all I've got for today. My apologies to those on dial-up as this one was just cruel of me. *coughgetbroadbandcough* Ahh, the joys of internet video. Endless entertainment, I tell ya.

4 Days until Blue Man Group!!! Woot!

You all have a fantastic weekend!

Can I buy a vowel?

Is it Friday yet? No? DAMN. It's been one of those weeks, peeps.

I just got back from my kid's school. I got a phone call from his substitute teacher about his behavior (which, obviously, hasn't been good). When they told him he'd have to eat lunch and spend recess in the office, he fell apart. She put him on the phone and he was hysterical. I managed to get him calmed down a little. I went to be with him while he ate and gave him a pep talk. When it was time for me to go, he cried and clung to my neck, begging me to take him with me. Heart ----> broken. I left his school in tears, but managed to hold them in until he could no longer see me.

Then, I did something I never do. I went to the bar, ate lunch and drank margaritas. I do feel a little better, but I can still feel the anxiety stewing around just under the surface.

I must say the day started out nicely, learning that my preferred candidates won the election. I won't gloat, though...that's just not nice.

GO CULVER!

Oops...sorry. heh

There's other crap going on as well, but I just want to ponder it all long enough to put it into words. Life's a bitch.

Now, I think I'll go here and shoot some kittens out of cannons for a while.

It's Voting Day

We already mailed in our ballotts weeks ago. I'm glad because it prevented all of these assinine ads from skewing my opinions. Someone pointed me at this video to further encourage me to do my civic duty...



Oh, the pink! *shudder*

...and as we know, one things leads to another. That video led to this:



Oh, the holy drunken college flashbacks! *sigh*

Now, go VOTE!