The Ties That Bind

Dear Ancestor

Your tombstone stands amongst the rest
Neglected and alone
The names and dates are chiselled out
On polished marble stone
It reaches out to all who care.
It is too late to mourn.
You did not know that I'd exist
You died before I was born
Yet each of us are pieces of you
In flesh, in blood, in bone
Our blood contracts and beats a pulse.
Entirely not our own.

Dear Ancestor, the place you filled
One hundred years ago
Spreads out among the ones you left
Who would have loved you so.
I wonder if you lived and loved,
I wonder if you knew
That someday I would find this spot
And come to visit you.


This is a scan of a postcard my grandmother gave me. The shorter man with the tie and white apron is my uncle Olin. I had the priveledge of knowing him when I was a young girl. He passed away when I was about 18. He was such a sweet man - always so happy to see us when we visited and he always had a joke to tell. He was about 20 years old here, working in the Lancaster city meat market. This is the only picture I've seen of Olin when he was so young. You can't really tell with the picture this small, but he was a handsome young man. When I picture his elderly face in my mind, I can see that handsome young man smiling at me.


This is my great great grandma and grandpa Black. They owned a small store in Downing, MO in the late 1800s and this is their store. Grandpa Black's father came here from Germany and changed his name to Black when he arrived. Unfortunately, I have yet to find record of where in Germany he came from or what his birth name was. I never met Grandma & Grandpa Black as they both passed long before I was born.


The man on the left is the famous Scottish poet Robert Burns, known to this day as the national Bard. He is from Ayrshire - the native land of my family. Although I have yet to find the exact link to him, many times I have heard that he is one of our ancestors. The man on the right is my great Grandfather Roy Burns. You can easily see the similarities - the same chin, mouth and brow. It even looks like Robert may have had the "Burns ears" though they are cleverly disguised by his hair (my genetic luck allowed me to escape that fate, but not my sister. HA!).

I knew Grandpa Burns when I was young - he passed away at the age of 95 when I was 16. He was a wonderful man who loved to tell stories. One example would be when he was dating Grandma (the dauther of Grandma and Grandpa Black, mentioned above). One time, while on a date, they "parked" their horse and carriage off the path for a little romance. While they were snogging, the horse decided it was a perfect time to take a dump. Talk about spoiling the mood! lol

More Lines to Scotland

I had a breakthrough this weekend. I was poking around on-line and found a website that featured geneaological information about my mother's family. I was thrilled to find the lineage of my maternal grandmother's mother all the way back to Scotland - FIVE generations back! My great(x6) grandfather John Waddell was born in 1724 in Glascow and emmigrated to Virginia as a young man.

Not only did this discovery provide me with the information on another ancestor who came here from Scotland, it also gave me the link to three other surnames of origin: Green, White and Cannon. I'll add them to my list and now, with my enthusiasm renewed, continue to dig for the roots of my family and their history.

There are SO many fascinating stories - the great grandfather who drove like a maniac, the funny names (such as Comfort Killgore, Tingle, Parthenia, Delphia, Green Berry...) the one who had to sleep in the barn because he wet the bed, the scandals such as the corset story & the great uncle who was framed by the sherrif, the children who died falling out wagons or from being kicked by a horse, the stories brought back from the Civil War and those who didn't return... They are endless and priceless.

Some Surnames in my family tree:
Burns, Bennett, Bivens, Sommers, Neil, O'Neil, Black, Lambert, Tingle, Waddell, Speer, Killgore, Slightom, Cook, Hope, Rollins, Cheatham, Reynolds, West

Maybe someone reading this post is actually a cousin. Who knows?

Side note: You can comment here today because I DON'T HAVE GOAT-SUCKING HALOSCAN! YAY!

SASF v.10.21 - Just Plain Nutty

There are certainly some nutty people out there. Some of them are a very good nutty and some are just....wacked. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. They make life so interesting!

***
Stuck on Prom

I had heard about people making tuxedos and prom dresses out of duct tape, but I didn't realize it was such a big thing! There are TONS of pictures on here of their creations. Some of them, I must say, are awesome! For example:

All with duct tape. Amazing! I would imagine it wouldn't be too comfortable, though...(and what about body hair! eek!)

***
Parents' Group Warns against 4 Fox Shows

"Four Fox network programs, led by the comedies "The War at Home,""Family Guy" and "American Dad," topped a parents group's annual listing of the worst prime-time shows for family viewing.

"The top three worst shows all contain crude and raunchy dialogue with sex-themed jokes and foul language. Even worse is the fact that Hollywood is peddling its filth to families with cartoons."
Woo hoo!



I am a huge fan of "Family Guy." I don't recall ever really hearing any lauguage that is that foul - they can't get away with much, and the sex-themed jokes are Awww, screw it. Not ALL cartoons are for kids! Pffft. There's a reason why it's on at 9pm - most little ones aren't up that late.

***
BatGator!

na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, Bat Gator!

This just cracked me up. Up for auction recently on eBay is this fine specimen. "an Adorable Real Vintage Alligator dressed up in a Batman Outfit. He is in great condition for his age. He stands approximately 10"tall. He is real and adorable."

He sold for $36.99. What a bargain. I knew that taxidermists were a little on the strange side sometimes, but dang!

***
Accident, My Ass

You know, they say there's a website out there for everything. I am starting to think it's true. Check this out:

"Welcome to By Accident, a new concept that gives you the chance to receive the attention you deserve. We deliver customized accidents such as rape, assault and past traumatic experiences. All personally tailored to suit your special needs."

Man, this is so sad. People actually hire them and pay them to make them "victims." I've had enough horrible shit REALLY happen to me - I don't need to pay someone to make more for me. Jeez! Are there really people out there who's lives are so boring and desperate?

***
Honey Coated Beaver

Ever logged into IM, minding your own business and some dork pops in on you wanting to "cyber"? Yeah, me too. It happens too much, I think. This girl, Stardigan, who I read sometimes on Live Journal cracks me up.

A lesson in how to handle unwanted IM jerks:

babilove5: hi:D
stardigan5: hey, who's this?
babilove5: babi and you
stardigan5: i'm nikki. where did you find me?
babilove5: no i just search in yahoo prifils
babilove5:
stardigan5: well what made you im me?
babilove5: i want just to chat
babilove5: can i??
stardigan5: sure, what's up? tell me about you.
babilove5: i have a cam!
stardigan5: well send me a pic then
*** babilove5 is trying to send you "doucheur.bmp".
babilove5: so
babilove5: it's ok?
babilove5:
stardigan5: i haven't got it yet
babilove5: it's hera you can see it on this window just click on the head
babilove5: ok??
stardigan5: i couldn't receive it, chill out
stardigan5: here e-mail it to me
stardigan5: stardigan@xxx.us
babilove5: do you have an msn??
stardigan5: no, just e-mail it
babilove5: i can send my cam??
stardigan5: E-MAIL
babilove5: it will take a time
babilove5: webcam is better no??
stardigan5: it won't work for some reason
stardigan5: good lord calm down
babilove5: what you mean ??plz
stardigan5: only one "?" is required. if you do "???" like a crazy person it looks like you are upset, looney, or dumb.
babilove5: no i am not crazy
babilove5: i am cooooooool
stardigan5: if you are cooooooooool then e-mail me a picture
stardigan5: stardigan@xxx.us
babilove5: and i am not nude i am a gentelman i know how to talk to a lady
stardigan5: i don't care if you're nude, that's hot. you're a man? what?
babilove5: so i will send it
babilove5: wait 1 m
babilove5: ok i send it
stardigan5: ok lemme check
babilove5: ok
His pic:
NOTE from Celti - Isn't that Tucker Max???
stardigan5: your screen name sounds like you would be a girl
stardigan5: i like girls better
babilove5: you what??
stardigan5: i like girls more than guys
babilove5: why??
stardigan5: i like eating pussy
babilove5: you are a??
stardigan5: yes i am a "a"
stardigan5: i'm a girl who likes girls and guys
babilove5: man or girl
babilove5: ?
stardigan5: dick's nice too but i'm just not in the mood
stardigan5: you don't have lesbians where you live?
babilove5: okk let's make a deal ok?
stardigan5: what's that?
babilove5: show me your self
stardigan5: k hold on
babilove5: ok
babilove5: (:|
stardigan5: hold on geez
babilove5: :D
*** babilove5 has received C:\Documents and Settings\N V\Desktop\nikki.gif.
(i sent this pic of amy from the indigo girls):

babilove5: ohh i throu that you will send your cam
stardigan5: i don't have one
stardigan5: that's me onstage playing guitar
babilove5: realy??
stardigan5: yeah
babilove5: i don't belive it
stardigan5: well believe it, it was a local show
babilove5: mmmmm i an't
babilove5: can't
stardigan5: did you look at it?
stardigan5: well who do you think it is?
babilove5: i don't know but i am sure that ie another person
stardigan5: geez i'm not that hot
babilove5: you i want to see you
babilove5: not another one
stardigan5: shut up, if you don't believe me then you are a space fatty
babilove5: what??? don't tell me sht up again be polite please
stardigan5: why should i, if you are going to be an asshat?
babilove5: me?? ohhhhhhh no sorry laddy
stardigan5: don't you call me lady
stardigan5: there's a fat beaver in my yard and i'm going to cover it in honey
babilove5: so and what??
stardigan5: beaver. honey. yum.
babilove5: beaver=?
stardigan5: beaver=tasty treat
stardigan5: it will sit on your face if you'd like
babilove5: and what i have to do ?
stardigan5: just hold still while it vibrates
babilove5: can i see that?
stardigan5: yeah hold on
babilove5: ok
babilove5: so
*** babilove5 has received C:\Documents and Settings\N V\Desktop\jcsbeaver.jpg.
babilove5: so i still ait$
babilove5: wait
stardigan5: you received it
babilove5: no
babilove5: not want to download
*** babilove5 has received C:\Documents and Settings\N V\Desktop\jcsbeaver.jpg.

babilove5: hahahaha
babilove5: nice joke
stardigan5: no, that's my beaver. it likes weiners.
babilove5: ok stop playing please
stardigan5: play with my beaver, please
stardigan5: it doesn't bite
stardigan5: and it's all hot and wet and covered in beaver mustard and honeybabilove5: lol
babilove5: be serious ok
stardigan5: okay. ask me anything.
babilove5: how old are you
babilove5: ?
stardigan5: ok, honestly: 22.
stardigan5: but i do so many drugs i look about 52.
babilove5: and you are single or married
stardigan5: i have a girlfriend
stardigan5: and a tranny hooker i blow on weekends.
babilove5: so you are a man
stardigan5: no, i'm a woman.
stardigan5: i have a vagina and boobs.
babilove5: what you mean
stardigan5: i have a vertical bacon smile and small melons
stardigan5: i like to put clothespins on my boobies. you should help sometime.
babilove5: ok i go now
babilove5: see you
stardigan5: see you up my beaver, mrs. johnson! i know you love it!

Freakin' classic. bwaaaahahahah! Fight fire with fire!

***
New Paris Hilton Video

She's at it again. Never fear - 'tis work safe. *snicker*

***
The Last Photo I Ever Took

These are a hoot:


That's a whole lotta bull.


Was there no going back?


Perhaps he wishes to immitate a crepe.


"Look out for that..."*BLAM*


Pictoral definition of "Oh Shit"


That'll teach him to follow so close.

***
Well, y'all have a splended weekend. ...and keep laughing!

- Celti

Thursday Fleshday

It's that time again, kids...


Today, I give you...

Celti's tootsies!

These are freshly pedicured tootsies, in fact. I loooove me a good pedi. I'm due for another one, in fact...hmmmm. Saturday, perhaps.

My dog loves to lick my toes. It's wierd - the stinkier the better. She's a freak - fits right in. lol! It tickles, though, so I can only let her do it for so long and then I can't take any more!

I love this polish shade, too...gotta get me some of that.

Our Responsibility

I often find my self pondering exactly what has gone wrong with our society - why are there so many lawsuits, injustices, people who seem to have just lost their freaking minds? I think I've found a piece, however small, of the puzzle:

By MICHAEL COREN for the Toronto Sun

"When British police arrested a highly dangerous terrorist suspect last month, they acted with professionalism and, considering the circumstances, extreme courtesy. "Mohammed," they shouted, "Take your clothes off! Come out with your hands on your head and you will be all right." He argued with them for some time, demanding to know why he should strip down to his underpants. When he was told the obvious -- that he was thought to be a potential suicide bomber -- he still argued and refused to move. Eventually the police had to bring the man out by force and he was taken away. But his first response to the police was so deliciously relevant. He shouted it from the balcony. "I have rights," he screamed. "I have rights."

There we have it. Rights. Even for a man who is suspected of trying to murder innocent people and create panic and terror.

The mass of our social difficulties, the majority of our seemingly insoluble problems, arise from the fact that in the Western world we have engineered a rights-based society rather than a responsibility-based one.

The social contract between the governed and the government, between authority and citizenry, has become degraded and unbalanced. Instead of asking what our duty or responsibility might be in any given situation, we demand to know what are our privileges and rights.

At its most obvious there is the usual list of standard demands: the right to marry whomever you want, the right to be ordained a priest when you don't qualify, the right to claim welfare even if it isn't deserved, the right to have sex with anyone and everyone, the right to die, the right to be wrong. The list goes on: The right to swear, the right to defy righteous authority, the right to be publicly uncouth, the right to insult a cop, the right to hide behind any excuse to escape punishment, the right to never fail, never lose, never have one's self-esteem challenged, the right to be wrong.

Recently our Supreme Court was called upon to judge a man who on the Internet had been selling instructional guides on how to make bombs, break into houses and commit credit card fraud. The judges decided that he had the "right" to do this because they did not assume he had the "responsibility" to read the contents of the material before he marketed it.

Nor is this fetish of rights-worship in any way consistent. A 14-year-old girl, for example, has the right to be given the contraceptive pill by her family doctor, but that same doctor has no right to inform the parents of the girl.

The concept of responsibility is entirely removed from the equation. Individual rights, even for a child, supercede the role of family and medical responsibility. The same applies to self-defense. We've all heard stories of people like the corner store owner who grew tired of repeated burglaries at his business, who fights back against the criminals with, say, a baseball bat.

In such cases, chances are it's the owners who will be charged. Too often, the rights of thieves outweigh the rights -- and responsibilities -- of citizens to protect their own property and livelihoods.

Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms was supposed to liberate the people of this great nation. What was not noticed was that Canadians were already free. Today, the Charter appears a mere symptom of a deeper dysfunction.

To paraphrase former U.S. president John F. Kennedy, ask not what are your rights in Canada but what are your responsibilities to Canada."

Indeed.

I was taught the value of responsibility as I grew up. I had to work for my money, and earn the things I got, and I was held responsible from my actions. Accountabililty was a prominent part of the equation and it made me a better person.

This is an issue that I intend to continue to explore and that I will keep in mind when raising my child. He, too, will learn the value of earning what you receive, accountability for his actions and the merits of responsiblity. This I have control over.

So much of it is in how we raise our children. The tough lessons are the ones that build character - you can't cushion them from these or they won't be prepared to live a responsible and realistic life in the real world...and a cruel world it is. They need to be given the tools to handle it. It won't be easy, but it has to happen.

What I don't know is how does society as a whole learn from what's gone wrong and change directions to make it right? How do we set the fire - the catalyst for change? Do we really have to do it one person at a time?

"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you: Ask what you can do for your country." - John F. Kennedy

We didn't listen. We, as citizens of the United States and the World, need to "ask" now, before the cloud of "rights" chokes us into oblivion.

Bwaaaahahaha!

My Head Hurts

Bullshit
Bullshit
Bullshit

For those of you that read this morning's post - the pity party is over (although I do sincerely appreciate your kind words of advice and support). For those who missed it - never mind. It isn't worth spending the time wondering about.

You know what? It's becoming clearer all the time. I'd rather just skip the bullshit. The last thing any of us needs is any more of this fucking high-school drama and I don't care to tolerate any more of it. I can hear the e-mails and IM's a flyin'. Better watch who you send them to, someone might forward them to me - OOPS, maybe someone already has! You never know when a knife will lodge in your spine. But really, you have nothing better to talk about? Jeez, how sad. I'm glad I've provided such interesting fodder for you but it's time to grow up and move on.

The betrayal hurt, sure. I feel pretty foolish for not seeing things how they really are before. However, I refuse to empower anyone by letting them think that I continue to suffer because that's not the case. True colors are showing all over the place and they look like various shades of shit to me. It's refreshing to see things in a clearer light.

This blog is not a horrible car accident that you keep driving past to get another look at the carnage. Nothing to see here...move along, people. I am.

Onward

"No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal." - Tennessee Williams

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." - Marcus Aurelius

"If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

SASF v.10.uhhh...What's the Date?

Gawd, I am discombobulated and half stupid today. I think my illness damaged my brain. Yesterday, all day, I thought it was freakin' Monday all day, now today I don't know the freakin' date and was burning Hepcat's butt about our plans for tomorrow (which would actually be NEXT Saturday. duh...) So...beings that I'm stuck on stupid, this should be fun.

***
The Rest of the Story

Well, for those of you that would like to know what happened Tuesday morning, I wrote the story over on my Bitching & Moaning blog. I haven't posted there for a long time, but this just seemed like it should go there. I expect some sympathetic comments over there, too. ha ha. It's gross, people, I won't deny that. Let's just say that Jimi Hendrix and I have something in common now. lol

***
Scent of the Beautiful People?

Reportedly, Marilyn Manson will be launching his own perfume next year. Oh, good gawd. The shock rocker singer will join a host of stars with their own fragrance including Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce Knowles, Hilary Duff and Ashanti. Ug...I can't believe he'd want to join that list.

He admits to taking some of the inspiration for his currently unnamed scent from the fashion-art collaborations of Salvador Dali and Elsa Schiaparelli. Manson says, "I'm in the final stages with one of the major companies."

I can only imagine what it's going to smell like.

***
Speaking of Endorsements

Steven Seagal has come out with his own energy drink: Lightening Bolt

When I type "Lightening Bolt", I hear dramatic music in my mind. Corny dramatic music. ha! Give me a freaking break.

***
Reinforcing my Inner Geek

Well, folks, it's official. My Blogger Codeis:

B6 d- t++ k+ s++ u- f i o+ x+ e+ l+ c+

Um...yeah. I have no idea what that means, but I have one. Now, someone please tell me what it means.

***
May We Screw with Your Eyes?


Do you see a face in the beans?

Beans, beans, the magic fruit, the more you eat, the more you...oh Hi! Sorry, got distracted there...

Check these out. I'm still seeing spots and shit. lol

***
The Scoop on Poop

This page offers pretty much anything and everything you might possible want to know about poop. What a valuable resource!

***
Clean up Your ACT!

Have you noticed that your computer monitor, after a few years of use, is not as clear as it was when new? Well, that's because electrostatic charges cause micro-etching on the interior surface of the glass which can degrade the picture quality.

As a result you end up straining your vision and visual acuity can suffer. There's a solution!

HA HA HA HA! I love it!

***
OK folks, it's been fun. This was late as hell and it was ALL Jamie's fault. It was. Ask him...he'll own up to it. Well, some of it is Derek's fault, too. heh

HNT *cough*

Hello, world. Yes, I am alive. Two days ago I wasn't so sure I'd be in that condition by this time. Thanks heavens it was short-lived. I'll spare you the gory (and I mean GORY) details, but let's just say that I nearly died at about 4:30 am on Tuesday - literally. I'm still not quite "right" but I think I'll be ok now...
If you're a curious shit like me and want the gory details, let me know and I'll share. I'm not shy about it...it's just kinda gross.

***

Anyhoo...it's HNT.


So, today, I offer up the following bit-o-Celti:


***

An interesting aside...

Someone I'm quite close to had surgery a few days ago to remove a mass they had on the side of their head. Turns out it was a teratoma - a benign tumor. Although some believe these are just a result of cell development gone awry, others believe that they are the remains of a twin that was absorbed in the womb. They are most common in the reproductive areas of the body, but this one was on the temple of an adult male. Very, very odd.

Remodeling

It's time for a change. I am currently working on a complete re-design of this blog, which has become dauntingly time-consuming. I'm a perfectionist with this type of thing to the point that I will probably be missing large quantities of hair by the time I'm done, but I'm determined damnit. Posting might be a bit on the light side, however, for the next few days while I try to whip this blog into shape.


Get it? WHIP it into shape? hee hee hee hee (yeah, yeah, shaddup) lol

SASF v.10.7 - Focus on the Positive

WOW. It's been a hell of a week! (ironic that, when I initially typed "WOW", my fingers were in the wrong place and it came out "SOS." hmmm) I've been in a bit of a pickle, to say the least, fighting negativity and a pissy attitude, so today we're going to do exactly that which I have been trying to do - focusing on the positive.

Stay with me now...

Oh, how I know how tough it can be.

***
Behind Every Good Woman...

We'll start off with one of my favorite ladies:
***Video Removed***
(...it was the video for "Behind Every Good Woman" by Tracy Bonham. Was starting to get old coming up every time the page loaded after a week. lol)

"Shame Shame for the Rooster, High Five for the Hen" hee hee hee!
Damn, she looks good in that outfit. Tracy kicks ass!

***
Imageshack - My Heros

My image host, Imageshack, has a new feature that just makes my toes curl. They really are the best free internet image host I have found - I host a TON of images there, have hardly EVER had a problem with them. Now, they have this new "quickload" feature that just rocks. All you have to do is right click an image file, click "upload to Imageshack" and BAM - it's done. I'm happy to sing their praises!

***
I Feel Safer

Hey, did you hear that the Des Moines Police Dept. got new vehicles? I'm so impressed and I feel much safer!

*snork*

***
Why Texas Didn't Have Looting Problems

I'm tellin' ya, people, don't mess with Texas!


***
New Line of Employment

Perhaps what I need is a new job. Here's a listing that I am seriously considering. It might even be worth the move! I'm pretty sure I am qualified! lol

***
Feeling Better

Things really are looking up. Then again, it might have something to do with my new medication:

(just allow me to mention, very briefly, that this is in no way meant to make fun of medications that help with anxiety and depression. I've needed them and taken them and this has nothing to do with that, ok? ok! *smooch*)

***
Encouragement

Never forget the power of encouragement if someone needs it!


***
Say it IS so!

"Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track."

The Official Homepage of the Walken 2008 Campaign

Oh, please please please tell me that this isn't a joke. I think he'd be awesome.

***
Speaking of Mr. Walken
Have you seen this? Just one more reason why Christopher Walken rocks.

HNT

Yep, it's Thursday! Holy fleshtones, Batman, two posts in one day? What's this world coming to? Well, it's coming to this:



Half Nekkid Thursday!

Today, I give you...

my paws. lol

Let's see...These four rings I wear almost all the time. Celtic knotwork - big surprise, huh? You may note the family signature pinkies - both bent in at the first joint. My mothers' are the same as well as my sisters' and my sons'.

Yeah, I know, hands aren't necessarily a "sexy" thing, but who said it always has to be sexy? Hands can be very sexy. I've always heard that you can tell a lot about a person from their hands. What do my hands tell you?

Per Your Requests

Madames et Monsieurs, I give you zee peectures you requested.

My closet:

Yep, it's the size of a postage stamp. My house was built in 1925, and I guess people either didn't have much clothing or they used wardrobes, because our closets are tiny. gah!

My fridge:

I tried to photoshop a picture of Rasputin's penis-in-a-jar into this pic, but it looked like shit. Oh, well. It was a fun thought.

View from my front porch looking up the street to the North:


View looking up the street to the South:


Flaming Carrot - I just happened to bump into one. Go figure.


Fave food: cheesecake Booyah!


The computer I do most blogging from (work):


My yard/Favorite living non-human thing: My Garden

Earlier this Spring:


Well now, wasn't that insipid?
Did you know that the Microsoft Word thesaurus offers no synonyms for "orgasmic"?

Questions, so Many Questions

Mee mee mee meeeeee mee mee meeeee. From Aimeeeee...

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
Hot? Well, no, considering that there is only one blogger I know in Des Moines and she wouldn't care if I look hot. I do try to be presentable, though, because I often run into someone I know...and if I look like shit, I will for sure!

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Cropped & light adjusted would be all. Is there a trick in Photoshop to make yourself look skinnier? lol

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
Don't really care, but they don't get a response.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
Could you define "lie"? lol....seriously, no, I don't unless you count saying that I'm ok when I'm not.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
Why? It's my blog, damnit. ;p Maybe just the aggressive part. lol

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
bah! I've mentioned quitting a couple of times because I was fed up with certain brands of bullshit, but never to get someone to beg me not to go. How pathetic.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
No. Sometimes I think I should be, but no. What?

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
No...I only delete spam. Why would I fake nice ones? I was taught the good old "if you don't have anything nice to say..." adage. I apply that rule to "something intelligent or funny" as well in comments.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Rubbed what out? *ahem*

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
Well, I would think they'd like me the same since I try to come off exactly as I am on here.

11. Do you have a job?
Sure do. Several, in fact - mom, maid, cook, taxi driver, accountant, counselor, babysitter... oh yeah, and graphic designer/marketing assistant.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Hell yeah! That would rock!

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
Oh, jeez. It's going to be a long list. SO many awesome bloggers, so little time.

These are in no particular order...
Varla, Julie, Michael, JP, Seamus, Sloth, Tot, Derek, Denny, Lois, Owl, Boo, Seven, Brighton, Archmage...oh hell, ALL of them!

13a. Which bloggers have you met in real life?
Cootera, Aimee, Inanna, Jamie, Katey, Pup, Regan (ESC)

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
I'll never tell. ;) (Do dreams count? lol)

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
hmmm...I don't think so. I probably act like I have less because the only time I really mention money is when I'm freaking flat broke.

16. Does your family read your blog?
My in-laws do occasionally. Don't think they do much now, though, since our little "misunderstanding" a few months back.

17. How old is your blog?
19 mos.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
Hell no! I get about 160 according to my site meter. Doesn't really matter.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? I post to a few blogs - not a big secret if you look around.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Oh, sure. Aimee really writes all this shit and I pay her for it since I have no opinion and she has so much time on her hands. *choke* LOL!

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
Money? What money? Heeeey...!?!?

22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Well, duh!? I think humans are narcissistic by nature - especially bloggers.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
Yeah, some. Depends on why, though. If it's laziness, yeah.

24. Do you like John Mayer?
What the hell does this have to do with blogging? Oh well...yeah, he's cool.

25. Do you have enemies?
No, but there are a few asses I'd like to kick just because they need it badly.

26. Are you lonely?
Not usually.

27. Why bother?
Because it makes life interesting!

***
Speaking of Questions...check out this little tidbit relating to our newly-appointed-supreme-court-justice-who's-never-been-a-judge.

Well, That Blows

Started out the morning by coming into work, sitting down at my desk and...

*snif*.
"What the..."
*looks around*
*log in, open e-mail*
*snif*
"oh, man...?"
*looks at bottom of shoe*
"Dog shit! gah!"

Realize: Cell phone forgotten at home.

That last post must have just bitten the big one - not too many photo requests for the game. That sucks - thought it would be fun. No one WANTS to see pictures of your stoopid life, girl. You SUCK! No, I don't! YES, you do! SHADDUP all of you voices!

...and no comments at ALL on the camera phone pic of my silly face. Perhaps it's not nearly as funny as I thought...

I go to lunch and, despite the fact that I got paid on Friday, my debit card is declined. No lunch for Celti. Boggarts. How many pieces can Celti cut her husbands debit card into? Place your bets now - post time in 1/2 hour!

Meanwhile...a few hours after coming down off of anxiety attack so bad I could hardly breathe...

How do you spell frustration?

H U N G R Y!

Realize: Soccer game tonight, no quick dinner fixins & no money to get some. Damn.

Do you suppose the Bosnians who work at Pizza Hut are into bartering?

Perhaps I can barter barrettes & bead jewelry for Pizza and vodka!?

***

Oh, yeah...I've been tagged. Well, I'll be dipped in shit, SOMEBODY does love me...or like me...whatever. Shaddup.

The rules are:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

*insert drumroll here...*
"My buddies Red Bull and French Vanilla Cappuccino are staying true so it is not a caffeine thing, but it is starting to look like my Mocha is deceiving me."

Oh yeah, the beginnings of my discovering that my favorite morning wake-me-upper was making me sick. Well, that blows too! lol

Tag? Nah...do it if it sounds like fun to you. Whatever.

SASS v.10.2

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