July 29, 2004


A fabulous group of bloggers and I have created "Beatdown!" - a place where we all can voice our opinions regarding who needs a beatdown and our reasoning as to why. It's all in good fun, but much of it is oh, so true.

If you'd like to contribute, comment here with your e-mail address (you must be a blogger, though) and I'll add you.

Tattoo of the Day

July 28, 2004

Camp Surreal

The last weekend in July is the Burns reunion. This is when my grandmother's brothers and sisters and their gaggle of children and grandchildren gather in Maquoketa, Iowa to catch up on what's happened for the last year. And eat...and eat more and more. Jinkies!

We usually go...otherwise I'd never see most of these people. They are a buoyant bunch of Scottish jokers. We are descended from our immigrant ancestors who came here from Ayreshire looking for lord knows what.

I digress.

My mom and dad are campers. They have this big fifth wheel that they take everywhere...just haul your own hotel room along behind you and you don't ever have to pack/unpack or worry about what's on the comforter. They camp in the city town campground and have room in their trailer fifth wheel for us to stay with them.

My parents are considerably conservative christians (ccc's) and always do the right thing. They would never do anything illegal or immoral (take note as this is important).

We pull up to their camp site and park. We get out of the car and walk up to the camper. They are just getting ready to go over to cousin Pam's for sloppy joes and sweet corn, so we turn around and head back to the car. As I get in the car, Chris starts poking me and whispering "did you see what was on the table??? huh? huh?" Uh, no, I didn't. I get out of the car and walk up to the picnic table and pick up the mysterious item just as my dad comes out of the camper. I quickly put it back down and high-tail it to the car. It's a POT PIPE! A little, chrome chamber pipe. WTF? It's the LAST thing that I would ever imagine finding in my parents' posession (aside from, maybe, a crack pipe) and it's laying right out in the open!

Now, I have been known to chief some hay, but this is something that my parents do not know and would not approve of. Why in the world would there be a pot pipe laying on their picnic table?

We go chow down at Pam's with a ton of "kin" that have gathered there. Hours later, after returning to camp (pot pipe still laying there in plain view on mom's gingham table cloth), I can't stand it any more. I finally break down and ask...

"Mom, what is up with what's laying on the picnic table."

She looks at me, blink, blink..."What are you talking about?" (halo gleaming)

"Mom...that metal thing!"

"OH! We found that in the grass."

"Do you know what it is?"

"Well, at first we thought it was part of a keg tapper, but I think it's a pipe for smoking marijuana."

"I think you're right. Why is it laying there on the table like that?"

"We thought that whoever lost it might come looking for it."

I wanted SO badly to tell them that they were NOT going to come looking for it. "Do you think it's a good idea to leave it there considering that it's probably illegal?"

"Well, it's not ours!"

Dear God...

We go outside and I remark to Chris about what they found in the grass. Mom mentions that she thinks there is a part of it missing..."isn't there supposed to be a bowl or something?" There is a lid on it, but it is complete. I pretend to have no idea. "Do you suppose they could smoke crack in it?" Mom wonders out loud.

"I have no idea, Mom."

So, the entire weekend, the little chrome pipe sits there. Aunts, Uncles & cousins come roast marshmallows by the fire and can see the flames' reflections sparkle on it's chrome surface. Do any of them see it? Put that thing away, for heaven's sake! There it is, right next to the graham crackers and chocolate bars we're using to make smores. I'm having visions of the local sheriff spotlighting the table on his patrol and my parents being arrested for possession of paraphernalia.

At this point, I simply can't stand it any more. I casually reach over and tuck it under the edge of the table cloth. There it stayed. Throughout the reunion and the rest of the weekend.

They probably left it there when they left for home. Wouldn't it be funny if the campground manager mailed it to them?

I hereby dedicate this to Maquoketa, Iowa and the Burns Clan:
The Duel

Silly Quizzes

My outercourse activity is french kissing!

Which Sexual Outercourse Act Are You? (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Not surprising...

July 26, 2004

Poor Andrea Yates

Most people remember the horrifying story of a Texas woman (in the summer of 2001) who murdered her 5 children by drowning them, one by one, in the bathtub. Although she was covicted of their murders, all along there has been so much focus on the fact that she was mentally ill. Well, of course she was - she would HAVE to be to do what she did.

The latest on Andrea. Poor thing...she won't eat so she's losing too much weight so they put her in the hospital.

"There is apparently a determination within her that wants to put an end to this," her lawyer, Parnham said. "I'm not sure what type of psychiatric medications can offset the reality of what occurred and make her feel better about that."

Warning - Rant Ahead

Feel better??? Why should she be given the privilege of feeling better about what she did? She killed her children! She SHOULD feel bad about it. She should suffer, not be doped up to the point where she has no idea what is going on.

I don't mean to seem unsympathetic to the mentally ill here...I have had my own battles with depression and have had several friends battle mental illnesses. I know the wars that they fight inside their own heads, but they never killed anyone. She knew what she was doing and she knew it was wrong. They have her so doped up now that she thinks her kids are still alive.

She's having such a hard time and won't eat - I say let her starve and stop feeding her medication to "make it all go away." After all, she is in prison to pay for what she did. I don't understand why our tax dollars are being spent to make it easier on her. Absolutely preposterous.

July 22, 2004

Celtic Cross Tattoos

I have noticed that a lot of the visitors I get from searches are searching for Celtic Cross Tattoos...so I have created a new page: Celtic Cross Tattoos. Enjoy!

July 20, 2004

Poke Me with a Fork, Big Sister

I have only one sibling - my older sister, Paula. She is 3 1/2 years older than I. Ours has not been a happy sibling relationship.

My earliest memory of my sister is a painful one. I was around 3 or 4 years old, and was sitting on the floor playing. She grabbed me by the arm and hauled me upward off of the floor, completely dislocating my arm from the socket. It hurt so bad I peed my pants. I remember having to go to the emergency room and have x-rays to see if it was broken. I still have trouble with that shoulder sometimes if I exert myself...a painful reminder.

Our childhoods were filled with tribulations. We were forced to share a bedroom when we were very young. One time, she coerced me into "playing a trick on mom and dad" and we hid under our beds. When mom & dad came in to check on us before bed, she had climbed back up into her bed, safe and sound. I had fallen asleep under the bed so, as far as Mom & Dad could see, I was nowhere to be found and they panicked. When Paula woke up, she told them where I was and I got in trouble.

She made me eat dog food. She would sit on me and tickle me until I peed my pants, thinking it was funny. She took me out in the woods and got me lost and then left me there. She threw me out of her birthday party because she didn't want "that little brat" pestering she and her friends.

But there must have been some good times...some love. Paula was a very sick child - maybe that was part of the resentment because I was very healthy. Recently, when digging through a box of old stuff at Mom's house, I found a card that I had made to send to her when she was in the hospital. It told her that I loved her and missed her. I must have been about 8.

She was cured of her health problems at age 11. It turns out that repeated bladder and kidney infections (nearly shutting her kidney's down) were caused by the tubes from her kidneys to her bladder being attached to the bladder in the wrong place (the bottom as opposed to the top). They surgically repaired this and she's had no trouble since.

Paula was always skinny. I was the little chubby one. She always got very good grades with little effort. I had to work hard to get good grades. She flew through her teens in a flurry of fun and I struggled to stay strapped into that emotional rollercoaster, terrified by the ride. She got a full-ride scholarship for college, I had to pay for all of it - took me 10 years to pay it off. She always had nice cars - the Audi Fox that was supposed to be my first car got traded in for a nice Cutlass for her. I got the piece of shit Chevy Impala. She met the perfect husband in college and I was still lonely and searching for love years after college. It has, indeed, been very cold here in her shadow.

Years later, we are both women - all grown up. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding when I was 16. I realize now, however, that Mom probably pressured her into it - exactly as she pressured me to have Paula be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She agreed...reluctantly. She has always been "civil" when we see each other (family gatherings - usually at holidays). She gives me the obligatory loose hug (for appearances, I assume) and is nicey-nicey. She is not, however, interested in talking to me or what is going on with me. She moved to Minneapolis and then Colorado. I would go with my parents to visit her at Christmas as such, and usually felt out of place. For a while, I would call her just to say "hi" from time to time. She NEVER called me.

I have seen how some of my friends are close with their sisters. I longed for that closeness - a special relationship that can only be between sisters. A few years ago, the distance (not talking miles here) between us was bothering me so much that I decided to put my hand out to her and offer her my friendship. I could never get her to really talk, so I opted to send her an e-mail. I told her that I was sorry if I ever did anything to offend or alienate her and that I wanted us to be closer. I expressed the pain that the distance between us was causing me. I put my heart right out there for her to embrace. I know she read it because my Mom printed it out and gave it to her when she was staying with them for a few weeks in the summer. She never replied...not a word was ever said about it. Nothing.

That said it all for me. She didn't (and doesn't) care. She doesn't want my friendship. I don't think Paula ever wanted a little sister (or brother, for that matter). I feel like she resented me from the day I was born.

I could not believe that she didn't reply. I was hurt. I was angry. I have never felt so rejected in my life.

I went through a lot of soul-searching after this. Am I really such a bad person? Why would someone not care about their only sibling - especially when they've never done anything to deserve being written off like that? I asked my parents about it - they are bewildered. They said she's never said anything about having a problem with me or being angry with me. After countless hours hashing the whole thing out in my head, I remembered a lot of the things I mentioned above. She does not want a sister. She does not want me. It's nothing I've done...it's all her.

What really drove it home was when my son was born. She did not call, no card, no gift. Nothing. Her husband called to pass along congratulations, but not a word from Paula.

At this point, the only way I know what is going on with her is through news my Mom passes along. I haven't seen or spoken with my sister for nearly 3 years now.

This is all deeply painful for me. Every time I see some "sisters' love" thing in a catalog or book store, it makes me so sad. Deep, profound sadness. The word sister makes me sad. I have found myself wondering if she would even care if I died. I have my doubts.

I have to find a way to come to terms with this. It is a battle that I fight all too often in my head. I guess, as my friend Inanna says, I need to peel the onion...but I don't know how.

July 19, 2004

It's all worth it.

I hurt today. This weekend was just awful. Had all kinds of plans for fun things to do...garage sales, the zoo, swimming, etc. It was not to be.

Mr. early riser (a.k.a. my son) slept late Saturday...ahhh, so nice to wake up on my own. Went in to check on him....screech! Felt his face and he was hot as a pistol. My baby was sick. So, the rest of my weekend was spent doting over a sick, whiney, puking 3 year old. Of course, by last night, he was back to his usual cheery, bouncy self. 24 hours of hell with not much sleep. I am so relieved yet so very, very tired.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever shared a pic of my boy on here. I don't blog about him much mainly because I don't want this to become a "my kid is so awesome" blog (although he is).

Here is the love of my life:

left is when he turned 3, the other two are within the last couple of months. He'll be 4 in October.

Since he was feeling better yesterday, we spent the afternoon outside. My ambition, fueled by cabin fever, drove me to weed my garden and ALL of my flower beds. Not smart. Now, not only am I tired, I am very sore.

I would LOVE to take the afternoon off to go home and take a nap, but that's not an option. So sleeeeepy...

July 16, 2004


These boys are brilliant. 
Here they are as they struggle to try to handle all of the traffic being directed to thier new creation, "This Land."  Just freakin' brilliant.  
I love this picture!

'Quake Watch 2004

Some of you will probably remember this post, where I talked about earthquake problems coming to the midwest.    I pointed out this 23 acre lake in eastern Missouri that disappeared like someone pulled the plug out of the bath tub.  Although there was no mention of it in any of the articles I read, this lake is very near the New Madrid Fault...a huge fault line that produced a devastating earthquake in the early 1800s.  Scientists have been predicting another big one on that fault for years now.    My intuition tells me that there is some major moving around going on down there, and something broke loose and sucked down that lake.  

That was June 30.  In the last month, I have found reports of 5 earthquakes. 
June 15, there was a 3.7 centered at Canalou Mo, which is just west of New Madrid.
June 28, there was a 4.5 between St. Louis and Chicago. 
This morning at 7:17 am, there was an earthquake that was 3.3 on the Richter scale near where Iowa, Nebraska and Missouri meet.  
Last night at 10:30 there was a 3.5 near where Missouri, Illinois and Kentucky meet (very near if not on the fault).  
There was another one that was around 3.5 near where Missouri, Illinois and Iowa meet about a week ago. 
I'm no fatalist and I don't profess to be psychic, but I predict that these will continue, increasing in severity leading up to a very nasty one. 
I guess we'll see...

July 15, 2004

Tattoo of the Day

I was just looking for a nice lion because I love them and found this one.  I like the peaceful feel of this one with the lamb and the hand releasing the doves. 

July 14, 2004

Tidbits of Wit, Torment & Irony

Knee Slapper
First, I want to thank EvilScienceChick for finding this. Farking hilarious! I giggled like and idiot, attracting all kinds of "what the hell is she doing in there" attention to myself here at work. Best laugh of the day so far.

It takes a while to load, but is worth the wait. Their servers can't handle much of a load either, so you might have to keep trying.

Make Love to That Pouch!
So, what the hell is up with that Ugoff guy? Is he real or a figment of BK's ad agency's imagination? Anyone know? I have to say that I am annoyingly intrigued.

MJ Going out with a Boom (literally)!
Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is planning on committing suicide. Get this...on New Years Eve 2004, he plans to trigger a mechanism (in a secret location, of course) that will drop a 3000 pound iron slab onto him, crushing him to bits. And...drumroll, please...it will be broadcast live on the internet! Woot! I'm there. The slab will then lift back up so that viewers can see what's left. Michael even gives his reasoning here. It will be interesting to see if this ends up being a hoax or not.

Smash the Guitar for Mommy
THIS is the summer camp I want to send my kid to. Jeff Carlisi, former guitarist for 38 Special, is the director of "Camp Jam" - a summer camp where kids literally learn to rock. It is in the Atlanta, GA area. If you've seen "School of Rock" (I recommend it), you'll understand. Read the news story for a lot more info.

Sweet Justice
This guy get's what he's got coming to him after creating a little bit of a hostage crisis.

Dandy Blog Link of the Day
My Trailerpark - a touching tale of a bright young lad and the people who live around him.

July 13, 2004

Tattoo of the Day

In the spirit of the project I am currently working on...

It goes right down her spine if you can't tell. No, I don't know what those things on the girly's head are.

July 09, 2004

Tattoo of the Day

This one is very, very nice. Definitely a candidate for my own skin. I've been searching for the perfect knot to make my own...

July 08, 2004

...and Now, Something Completely Different

Moving on from the Wierd to the Funny

Winnebago Man
This guy is trying very hard to film a series of commercials (and perhaps an instructional video) and just can't get it right. Beware, there is A LOT of swearing involved, but it is damn funny.

Dog Toy or Marital Aid?
This is a fun game. I'm proud of myself...got 12 out of 14 on the HARD test. woot!

Rock Paper Saddam
You just have to see it to appreciate it. TIGER HAND! RAWR!!!!!

Helpless Runts Addict

I bought a box of runts and I ate all of the banana ones right off the bat. I can't stop eating them. I put them in the drawer...back out they came, they are chasing me around me office. I can't leave them alone! They're eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiillllllll!

Heeeeeeeellllllllllpp mmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Mad, Mad World

I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world

Children's SockNapper?
Some idiot grabs up a little boy, takes him behind a building and...(drumroll please) steals his socks! Shocking! I suppose it could have been much worse, but they are throwing the book at him.

Pounds of Meat
I'd like to say "hi" to the Google searcher who found my site by searching for "pounds of meat consumed by Americans each year". LOL

Danzig Goes Down
Seems Glenn Danzig let his asshole side get the better of him. Backstage at some show, Danzig is talking to Danny Marianinho of the North Side Kings. Seems there's a bit of a dispute over stage time. Danny confronts Glenn over his crew dismantling the stage before all of the bands have played. Danzig decides to shove Danny (who is a pretty good-sized guy), who is knocked back and then reacts as any large punk-band man would: he comes forward, fist first, and puts Danzig on the floor. Knocks him flat. Click here if you'd like to see the arrogant little bastard go down.

How Many Voilations?
Seems an internet connection-stealing kiddie porn perv can't do more than a few things at once. Wrong way, perv!

Sex Tent Controversy
Apparently Norway's biggest annual music festival had an interesting attraction on the grounds. A so-called see through "sex tent" was set up so that an artist could film couples who volunteer to have sex in the tent. Those who participate sign a contract before going into the tent, but there have been several people with their knickers in a serious bind over it. I guess I didn't think Norway had that many prudes... more info

Just a Bit on the Wierd Side of Botany
Seems that a "Corpse Flower" is about to bloom in Connecticut. These are VERY rare and very large. The last time they had one bloom in the area was in the 1930's. There is a live webcam set up to watch the ...ahem..."miracle". The view is good if there isn't some loser standing in front of the camera. It honestly looks like something from "little shop of horrors."

July 06, 2004

Tattoo of the Day

What do Your Keys Say About You?

I once read that a person's key ring can tell you a lot about their personality.

Here are my keys:

A simply jailers ring with two rings of keys (house/work on one and car on the other) and a big bad real bug encased in acrylic. The inset in the lower right corner is the bottom of the bug, just so you can get a good look at my little pet. LOL I used to have a wonderful, hand woven mini cat of nine tails on there, but I lost it. *pout*

What do you think my keys say about me?

Grrrl Power

This is my new Grrl Power Avatar, compliments of my buddy Tricia.
Thanks, Tricia. She's Groovy!

Body Worlds

There is an exhibit going on in Los Angeles that I WANT to see. It's called Body Worlds and it looks absolutely fascinating.

Body Worlds at the California Science Center

The German anatomist Dr. Gunther von Hagens invented plastination in 1977. He transforms real human corpses (bodies donated to science) into intricate and authentic representations of the human body for public viewing - an opportunity previously only available to medical professionals. In this exhibit, you can experience the human body step-by-step - the locomotive system, muscles and skeleton, the nervous system, respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive and reproductive systems.

I was always very interested in human physiology and anatomy in school. I am hoping to go visit my sister & brother-in-law in LA soon - if I do, this will be one of the first things I go to see!

WTF, Blogger?

What is blogger/blogspots freakin' problem!? I have to refresh what seems like a million times to get a page to come up and sometimes a million is not sufficient. This is yanking my chain something serious.


July 02, 2004

Happy 4th of July

...to my American friends. Happy weekend to all.

I still have no internet at home...stupid DIT pukes. I might just sign me up for a new ISP this weekend, me thinks.

Until next time...have some fun with this:
  • Fireworks Fun

  • Are they Serious?

    Check this out:
  • Bush/Cheney Campaign Ad

  • I really can't believe that this ad was approved by dubya and his team and that it is really one they plan to air it. I think they've been hacked. I guess we'll see, depending on how long it stays up there. If it is a hacker's work, they are damn good.

    What do you think? Hacked or real?

    If it is real...he has lost his mind.

    Update: It is not a hacker job, it is a spoof site. The real site is www.georgewbush.com as opposed to .org. Wow

    July 01, 2004


    Please comment and share your opinions!

    Peanut Butter - Crunchy or Creamy?