January 31, 2005

The Bad News

My boss came in this morning and had a little “chat” with me about my personal internet use and time spent on IM here at work. He basically said that I can’t be on-line for any personal use and absolutely no IM, so that sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. I’m going to have to lay low, at least for a while.

Seems that our IT manager has been trying to see what I’ve been doing on-line and can’t find anything. He’s a bit frustrated. I know enough about how this shit works to cover my damn tracks. I am not ignorant enough to leave a trail and that frustrates him. Poor baby.

However, I will say that my job satisfaction level just fell about 75%. It really pisses me off because I do NOT put this kind of thing ahead of my work duties. My work is always up to date, caught up, high quality. They have no complaints. I know this because I just had a glowing review last week. What does it hurt to let a person play if their work is all done and the quality is excellent? I guess I’ll have to sit here and do my nails or something when I’m all caught up. Yeah, that is real productive. Let’s go ahead and increase my frustration level to about 75% more than before, shall we?

If the quality of my work were suffering or if I weren’t getting things done, I would understand. This is not the case.

Perhaps I should start surfing the job listings and not cover my tracks…

January 28, 2005

Short Attention Span Friday


It's Friday, peeps! Frriiiiiiiiidaaaaaaay! Man, this has been a long week.

Here is some tasty internet fun for you:
This one was too freakin' cute. Hard Rock Kitties from the band Litterbox. I am particularly fond of the guitar player since he looks just like my kitty Leonardo.

This also gave me a good giggle:

It's all in good fun, eh?

Rock Star's baby/kid photos. The text is in Spanish, but the pics are still very funny. See them here.

Now, I've been hearing a lot of talk lately about Brasilians (you know, a waxing down under?). I have to say that I've been intrigued. Then, I found this. Don't worry, it is safe for work but I will issue an LOL alert because it made me snort, blow coffee out my nose and giggle incessantly. I must say - I am still intrigued...

Well, Kiddies, that's all for now. Have a fabulous weekend!

January 27, 2005

Blahbitty Blah

I have nothing of any substance to post today...again, as is too often lately, my mind is a big jumble of thoughts.

I was going to post today to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz - the worst of the Nazi concentration/death camps. There was a journal entry I read not too long ago on Robert Fulghum's website. He is one of my favorite authors, and his journal entries are little little bonus treats. This particular entry was about his visit to Dachau (another of the camps) when he took his daughter to visit there. He talked extensively about the barbed wire fence, and strip of grass that separated it from the gravel that those poor souls lived on. It was a beautiful, touching view of the suffering that the people who lived and died in those camps went through. I was going to post it here, but was saddened to discover that the archives of his journal are not accessible. I lost the story by not copying it down. I sent the link to Pup at the time - I'd be he remembers it.

It's been a very emotionally taxing last 2 weeks. I have not been feeling well. Stress, worrying and heartache have been dominating my mind and, frankly, it is starting to annoy me.

Tomorrow, I have to go have another mammogram. 6 months ago, they found something in the films that they didn't like the looks of, so tomorrow is a recheck. I am nervous, to say the least. It was a horrible day yesterday, and I came home to ask Chris to help by leaving me be and I curled up in my chair with a blanket - I just couldn't get warm.

I always forget that I am not allowed to be sick. See, that means Chris would have to do some extra things, like help with dinner and with Derrick. He had friends over, so I guess he was too busy, bellowing at me because Derrick was bothering them. I ended up handling the entire load, exhausted and collapsing into bed after winding down from my shower long after he and Derrick had gone to bed. Poo poo heads.

My company's annual meeting was today, followed by a big awards dinner. I really didn't want to go. I'm not a revenue generator, so I wasn't expecting any awards but I got a President's Club Achievement award! Woo hoo for me! I guess hard work does pay off in this company. I also got the satisfaction of seeing my work in action - the power point presentation that I was obliged to prepare after the information was given to me yesterday at noon. Just a few hours to prepare it, and I have to say it looks pretty damn good. Now I have this pretty plaque to hang in my office and my wall won't look so nekkid any more.

Derek - I haven't forgotten about you. Just wanted to let you know I will get to it.

Today is Chris' one week anniversary of sobriety. I can't help but wonder, though, if he really hasn't drank anything. One of his friends brought beer last night, and I nearly brained him when I saw it. I don't think Chris drank any, but he gets off work much earlier than I do so they could be hanging in the bar for an hour after work. Who knows. I guess I just have to trust...

Derrick has a classmate at pre-school that has been picking on him - Killian. D came home from school yesterday with horrible scratch marks and wounds on his arm. He told me Killian did it. No note from his teacher, no mention of it. I have already talked to the director once about this and I think I'm going to need to do it again. He said Killian got time out. He digs his nails into my child again and I'll show that little bugger time out. That kid is a monster - the teacher said he picks on everyone. What does it take for a 4 year old to be expelled from pre-school? LOL

On my way back to work from lunch, I had something really wierd happen. I was in the right lane, preparing to turn right and there was a car in the lane next to me. As I slowed, the car did, too. I thought they were turning left. They didn't. They didn't go straight either. The car simply vanished. I scanned for it and it was simply gone. hmmm.

So, tomorrow I start the day with a clean slate. I got pretty much all of my work done today which is fantastic and rare. I'm sure more will come sauntering through the door tomorrow, but it's nice to not have to worry about any of it while I get my bits smashed in the morning. Oh, yeah...ew.

Hmmm...tomorrow is short attention span Friday! Woo hoo...it's always fun to see what's out there that I can take a poke or two at. *grin*

January 25, 2005

Where is This Handbasket Going?

I've been thinking a lot about the war - the war in Iraq and the "war on terror" that our leaders have plunged us into. Yes, I know that September 11 started it and I agree that something must be done, I don't know if what we are doing is right or if it is going to be effective at all.

As an aside, let me point out that I normally do NOT post thoughts of a political nature on my blog. This is a conscious decision as I am not fond of the idea of people attacking others because of their political views. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and should be allowed to voice them, but using them to personally attack and verbally degrade a person is just wrong. It is mean-spirited and unfair. But you know what? This is my blog, and this is what's on my mind. I will not waste my time fussing with someone who is unable to see or even acknowledge others' points of view and I will not allow their attacks to drag me down.

I am struggling to understand the mounting conflicts that are going on between the USA (or, would Christians be more like it?) and the Muslim world. What are we trying to accomplish, exactly? CAN we accomplish our objective? What do THEY want (besides all non-muslims' to be dead)? Will this ever end?

As my son grows, I worry about what his future holds. When he was born in 2000, our world was a much more peaceful place. Sure, there were struggles going on, wars being fought, people suffering - but that is the nature of people, societies and the world. That will ALWAYS go on...it's just a sad fact. Our country, on the other hand, was what I would have referred to as a peaceful nation, a respected ally.

I think the thing that worries me the most about all of this is how intrinsically different these people are from us. Their thought processes are completely different. How can we even begin to find peace with them if we don't understand them? Although I realize that my views are horribly skewed by the American media (something that became painfully clear while living in Europe), it is clear that what they want to instill in us is fear and it is working. I fear them. Why wouldn't I? They seem to breed hate. They teach their children to hate and to kill. They murder innocent people at every opportunity - people like Margaret Hassan, director of operations for CARE International in Iraq. This woman lived in Iraq, was married to a local and spent years working to help who? The people of Iraq! They kill their own, blow up children and police officers, and anyone who doesn't believe as they do.

I feel that our government is treating them as if they are like us - they are apples and we are oranges as far as I am concerned. We are pushing Iraq towards democracy - what makes us think that they want democracy? Would or could democracy ever work for them? I have no idea and I'm hoping that someone making important decisions has looked into this.

The war on "terror" is a war that cannot be won. It is a simple fact that good and evil will always exist - they create balance - the Yin and the Yang. They offset each other and it is just not possible to eradicate all of the people in the world who would like to do us harm. If ten of the radical Muslims are killed, there are fifty more of them ready to step up in their place.

I think I'm going to invite Steve to lunch today. Steve is one of our VP's. He is a great guy - an ex Marine officer and a Vietnam vet. He is very intelligent, insightful and he has a unique perspective on these kinds of things. It's been too long since we had lunch and I am hoping he will share his views on all of this with me. I may also have to rattle Sean's cage a bit and see what he has to say. I need a lot of help to answer some of these questions. I know that some of them don't have any answers.

In the mean time, I will love my family, love my friends, enjoy my freedom and live one day at a time.

January 24, 2005

Beer Can

Alcohol on my hands
I got plans
to ditch myself and get outside
dancing women
throwing plates
decapitating their laughing dates
swirling chickens caught in flight
out of focus
much too bright
coming down
shiny teeth
game show suckers trying to bleed
but I got a drug and I got the bug
and I got something better than love

How you like me now?
pretty good
going on
feeling strong

I quit my job blowing leaves
telephone bills up my sleeves
choking like a one man dustball
freedom rock slimeball
talking in code, i went down
lit up the shack
grab me a beer out of the sack
everybodys bent over twice
painting the walls throwing some dice
leaping up into the air getting juiced up beyond belief

and they were singing like this

why go throwing Frisbees at the sun?
put my soul between the bun
now I wandering, now I'm drunk
now I'm running like a flaming pig

oh yeah
scraping off the attitude
old man eating all my food
don't be kind
don't be rude
just shake your boots and let it all get loose

oh yeah
oh my goodness

Good Night, Johnny

Yesterday, Johnny Carson, legendary comedian and host of "the tonight show," passed away after a difficult battle with emphysema.

Rest in peace, Johnny. Although we've missed you for the last 12 years, the world will now be even less funny without you.

January 21, 2005

Closer to Fine

*scroll down for KC pictures galore*

I was so absolutely wiped out last night that I didn't even stay up to watch CSI. Now, that's serious. CSI is my show and I generally don't miss it. I went to bed immediately after putting Derrick to bed. It's amazing how emotional strife can exhaust the physical body. I slept like a rock, and feel somewhat stone-like this morning. Maybe it's more like stoned - kind of in a haze.

I'm doing considerably better today (compared to yesterday, anyway). There is a glimmer of light peaking through and with the support of many wonderful people who gave me a hand up, I'll be ok. *huge cyber hugs to you* You know who you are! *wink*

Chris hasn't gone to AA yet...hasn't nailed down which meeting he will go to. Unfortunately, his buddy no longer goes to the meetings regularly (only when he feels he needs to), so Chris will have to go on his own or I will go with him. It's up to him.

He didn't drink a drop last night, which is big in itself. He normally drinks every night. When I went home for lunch yesterday, I took all of the alcohol and hid it. Hid it well. If he brings any into the house, I will throw it right out the back door and into the snow. He'll be lucky if he doesn't go with it. I'll be looking into al-anon for me to learn how to deal with all of this.

On a Lighter Note
I have some KC pictures to share with you! Woot!

That Crazy Pup...

Couldn't keep his hands off of our goodies.

Not sure what I was saying here

...but Aimee apparently found it VERY funny! LOL

Here are the onion rings we had at the BBQ place

Biggest damn O-rings I've ever seen. They were yummy!

Jamie REALLY enjoyed the ribs. Mmmmmmm...long meat. LOL

I suck at Jenga & this is that wacked out wierd shaped Jenga.

Especially after a few shots.

Butt wiggles...

...& giggles

the Knitting Nazi

She can talk and knit at the same time! You can see our lovely suite a little better in this shot.

KtP and Bun

Feelin' the love

Bustin' out the beads

The Chef in Action

Dat's a one spicy meatball!

Nanner giving a reading

Next time, perhaps...girl on bear action?!!

January 20, 2005

No, Honestly I'm Not

I can't pretend that I'm ok today. I'm not.

Last night, Chris dove to the bottom of a bottle and then decided it would be fun to be mean and then puked all over the place. I spent the night on the couch alternating between crying, consoling a worried child & sleeping.

I can't do this any more. I spent a wonderful weekend in KC with positive, happy, considerate people and the let down when I came home was huge.

At least he admitted that he has a problem and needs help. I just hope he will do it.

I can't get the tears to stop, so this will be it for today.

January 19, 2005

Ok Folks...let's play a little game here. I thought this thing was pretty groovy and posted it by itself earlier. There are 20 words in there (not including "me"). Name as many of the words as you can, and the winner just may get a prize!

January 18, 2005

Preview (or is it Pretty View?)

we weren't particularly shy over the weekend...

Isn't that a pretty bra? *cough cough*
tee hee hee hee hee
(Yep, she was quite schnockered.)


Wasn't able to post yesterday as work was keeping me WAY too busy...that's what I get for taking a couple of days off. hmmmph. I was on for a while yesterday, but, honestly, I was having too much fun reading others' blogs about the trip and looking at the pictures. Oh.my. Don't you fret - pictures are coming.

My weekend started a bit earlier than the group's since Aimee flew into Des Moines on Thursday night. After lots of mutual stressing out over her flight delays, she finally arrived about 3 hours behind schedule to our balmy -2 degree tropical paradise. Derrick went with me to pick her up, and I recognized her immediately when she appeared at the top of the chute the send the passengers down after they disembark. I took her home, fed her a big fat ribeye steak and we proceeded to chit chat and giggle way too long into the morning hours.

So, we got up a few hours later & scooted D off to daycare, packed up the car and headed out at 9am for KC. SO EXCITED! We had to pick Inanna and Evil Science Chick up at the KC airport and we arrived with perfect timing about 10 minutes before Nanner's plane landed. We scooped her up, then scooped up Bunsen (ESC) at the next terminal. We then headed for central KC, realizing as I drove that I had no idea where I was going. On the phone went Aimee, my navigator. Soon, we arrived at the hotel to find Jamie waiting for us in the lobby.

Ok...I had better trim the details or this is going to be a novel. There is just SO much to tell. *sigh*

We started out by walking (who's idea was that? It was 5 degrees!) a few blocks to find some lunch. We had a giggling & snorting lunch at Tom Fooleries (hee hee) and then trapsed back to the hotel where we met Pup and Katie. We hung out in the hotel room for the afternoon, munching, drinking and getting to know each other. What a fun group! I knew right away that this weekend was going to be a blast.

I'll continue later with more stories about our adventures. While they are fresh, however, I'll go with the impressions for now...

In Order of Appearance
Aimee - Aimee was exactly as I expected. I think the only thing that surprised me was that her hair was shorter (she didn't tell me she had cut it) and she has freckles which don't show in the pics I've seen. She is adorable. Aimee and I knew each other quite well before this, so her personality wasn't a surprise at all. I already knew that I adored her. Caring, considerate and philosophical, she has a wild streak that makes her so much fun. I was so sad when it came time for her to go home because I would love to hang out with her every day.

Inanna - Nanner is a little hottie. She seems to bounce along everywhere she goes. She was actually a little taller than I expected for some reason - I had envisioned her as tiny. I also expected her to be super skinny but she's quite curvy. va va voom! She is very observant of others and is not afraid to voice her opinion. She seems very confident with who she is. What a cool chick. I knew I would love her.

Bunsen/ESC/Bondage Chicken - Yep, gonna say it like the others. Bunsen is tall! She says she's 5'7" but I don't buy it - she's more like 5'10" I would say. We should have measured her (LOL). Bun surprised me because she is SO PRETTY! I had seen a few pics, but they don't do her justice, folks. She is a beautiful person inside and out. Very intelligent, considerate, observant and somewhat quiet, she can throw you into fits of laughter when she does talk. What a hoot! No wonder Kevin is so nuts about her. She is just adorable.

Jamie - Jamie was also taller than I expected. I guess I thought she was tiny too. She is extremely cute and her curly hair rocks. She was very positive, bubbly, full of youth and easy to get along with. This girl can par-tay. What a sweetheart. I wish I could have spent a little more face time with her to get to know her better.

Katey - Katey was probably my biggest surprise. I had never seen a pic of her, so had no idea what to expect physically. She is very cute! Very pretty eyes and brown hair and such a nice smile! Don't let her fool you with her rantings and ravings, she is sweet as sugar, very considerate and caring. I regret that I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk with her but my impression was that she is super-nice and lots of fun.

Pup - This brat is da bomb. Although I knew Pup pretty well beforehand, he was more handsome than I expected and bigger in stature. He, too, is one of those people for whom pictures just don't do justice. He was a little quieter than I expected at first, but I think he, like several of us, was just sizing things up. Man, this dude can cook... and drink... and I'll just say that a ride in his front seat while rocking out to Nine Inch Nails was a blast. I didn't have a problem with his driving, though I did detect a distint circular pattern in our routes (tee hee). We had fun shopping together at the toy store, but we were a bit disappointed in the selection (*wink*). I found him to be smart, generous, considerate and fun to be around. He was sporting a big cheezy grin all weekend with all the attention from the ladies and had to drag us to his favorite sports bar to show his friends that he really wasn't making shit up. LOL

I would love to spend another weekend with these peolpe and they exceeded my expectations. I was ready to get home, but now I'm ready to do it all over again this weekend!

January 16, 2005

Elvis HasThe Bloggers Have Left the Building

Well, I'm home and my wonderful, adventurous blogger weekend is over. I put Aimee on a plane a few hours ago. I missed her before I got home which is only 10-15 minutes.

Had a fantabulous time. I'll have many stories of stoplight flashing, gourmet meal eating, shot pounding, snorting and knee slapping, diet cheating and more, but right now I am going to bed. We didn't get a whole lotta sleep this weekend and Celti is pooped.

Oh, and I think I broke my toe this morning while packing. ow

For now, Check out Nanner Peach's page for some of the dish on what, exactly, we were up to. Catch you on the flipside, peeps.

January 13, 2005

What Kind of Place Do You Think This IS?

Searches in the last few days that have brought the seeker (no, not that seeker) to my blog:

"c" - what is this? Who would search for just one letter? WHAT, exactly, are they looking for?

"fa" - this is a brand of soap that's popular in France. I like it, but I don't think I've ever talked about it here. They make awesome shower gels. Again, what are they really looking for?

"amazing contortionist" - I am a limber person, but a contortionist I am not. I talked quite a while back about Danny Boy the contortionist. That must be the link...

"blonde buttsex" - uhhhh...this is not the place you are looking for, folks. No buttsex here. I have no idea why it got them here unless it has to do with the "tucker tries buttsex" blog entry I linked to long ago. After paging through to page 26, I still didn't find my link. This person really must have been digging. ewwwww

"wierdest nude ladies" - bwaaaaahahaha! Again - no clue why it brought them to me, but welcome! LOL I am wierd, I am a lady, but I have never been seen here nude. I might be known to flaunt some cleavage from time to time, but an exhibitionist I am not. Maybe after another 50 pounds...

My appreciation goes to those who offered kind words when I was down in the dumps yesterday. It angers me that I give one individual enough power to bring me down like that. I'm to the point where I'm ready to say "screw you" next time that happens, as I no longer wish to give him the right to drag me down like that. *stomps foot*

It's another short attention span day, folks. I can't concentrate much on anything but this weekend - the big KC gathering is finally upon us. Aimee arrives at 6:00 tonight and in the morning we head out. It's supposed to be sunny and cold, so the roads should be good. I have a list about 3 miles long of stuff to do...clean out the car, vacuum, finish packing, get my oil changed, make crab dip... I'm at work but leaving at noon. Yipee!

We will try to post about our gathering some time this weekend. It will most likely be on Pup's computer, so check his blog out. I'll try to copy and post whatever here. We'll have digi cams, so maybe even a pic of our most likely drunk group. So, 24 hours from now Aimee and I will be on our way to meet Pup, Kate the Peon, Inanna, Evil Science Chick, & Jamie. Don't worry - we promise not to hurt Pup...unless he likes it that way, of course. Bwaaaaahahaha!

January 12, 2005

Might Just Let it Go

I know I said it's all right
But you can make it up next time
I know he knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying

Maybe he thinks I know something
Maybe he thinks it's fine
Maybe he knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

I know he loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with his sleeping eyes
And I know that when he said he's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know he usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em,
nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe he'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me down

I hurt today...emotionally. I just can't win some times. I'm so very, very tired of trying. I just don't have the energy any more. I am tired of just letting things slide and internalizing the hurt and putting on a happy face when I'm not fucking happy, damn it.

Wow...crying really is hard on the skin under my eyes.

I hope this weekend gives me the refresher that I need so very badly so that I can dive back into my life with a fresh perspective. I don't think I'm going to be gone long enough...

Update - an hour later. Just got a phone call and an apology. Doesn't change much, but I suppose, for what it's worth, I feel a little better. I'll be ok. I always am.

January 10, 2005

Stoopid Quiz from Bondage Chicken

Hey, Bandwagon...Slow down! *hop*
Let's just get this out of the way before someone forces me to comply.
...and, it's convenient because I got nothin'

3 names you go by:
1. Celti
2. Pati
3. Peppermint

3 screen names you have:
1. celtic13cross
2. triplefire
3. celticcross

3 things you like about yourself:
1. my hair
2. my eyes
3. my sense of humor

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. my dry skin
2. my allergies
3. my tendency to be too hard on myself

3 parts of your heritage:
1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. English

3 things that scare you:
1. radical Muslims
2. losing someone I love
3. ignorance

3 of your everyday essentials:
1. blog
2. red bull
3. protein

3 things you're wearing right now:
1. black jeans
2. black maryjanes
3. my fave black bra

3 of your favourite bands/artists:
1. Linkin Park
2. Jack Johnson
3. Sarah MacLachlan

3 of your favourite songs at present: (in no particular order, and I will remember better ones after I submit this)
1. Jack Johnson - Rodeo Clowns
2. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
3. Linkin Park - In the End

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. See Sarah MacLachlan in Concert
2. meet other bloggers (check!)
3. lose more weight

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Good sex
2. Communication
3. a best friend

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
1. I hold the title of female video game champion of the USA for 1984
2. I am a member of MENSA
3. I am a bead freak

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
1. nice smile
2. smells good
3. able to move & groove

3 things you just can't do:
1. play the guitar
2. quit consuming caffeine
3. advanced algebra

3 of your favourite hobbies:
1. blogging
2. beading
3. gardening

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. attack a certain someone (not in a bad way)
2. eat an entire loaf of garlic bread
3. drink a big fat mocha latte

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider):
1. opening my own restaurant
2. sugar daddy arm decoration
3. manager of Linkin Park Underground

3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Greek Islands
2. Scotland
3. Ireland

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. Isabelle
2. Trinity
3. Derrick

3 things you want to do before you die:
1. visit ancestral homelands (Scotland, Ireland)
2. achieve financial security
3. develop a positive relationship with my sister

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
1. Seven
2. Lois
3. Inanna


Listening to: Rodeo Clowns - Jack Johnson

This is going to be a really long week. Damn. This Thursday my bestest buddy Aimee is flying in to Des Moines. I'll pick her up at the airport for the next 3 whirlwind days of fun that lay ahead. I am so ready for this little get-away. SO ready.

It was a good weekend. Got a lot of house cleaning and laundry done and things were peaceful for the most part. We still have lots of snow on the ground, so we made the biggest damn snowman I've ever seen yesterday. He was about 6'5" and his base was massive. The conditions were perfect for snowmen - and snowballs. heh heh...I said balls. Oh shit, my dirty mind is going to get me in trouble.

Saturday I did a little touch-up on my hair. It turned out a lot more strawberry than I wanted. Oh well. I guess it looks ok. I certainly do look Irish. LOL

I am so frustrated by this freakin' thing I'm trying to print at work. It's a big banner - 6' long, 24" wide, 370MB so it's LARGE. It won't print right! I've tried photoshop, publisher and now I'm trying illustrator. The damned thing keeps printing sideways. What I don't get is that, at an even larger size it printed fine. Now I've made it smaller and the damned thing won't cooperate. I've now tried so many different combinations of dimensions, landscape vs. portrait...it just won't work. ...and with a 5-10 minute load time and 20 minute rip time, that's a lot of time wasted. My boss is sweating me for it. I'm about ready to take the damn printer out the front door and throw it in the river. I might just consider jumping in after it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!

I'm stressing and it's making my stomach hurt. Blargh.

Have I mentioned yet that I think Jack Johnson is brilliant? Where has the world been hiding this man? ...or have I just been under my rock too much? Probably the latter. I recently discovered him and I love his music. You should check it out. He does a lot of fun stuff with Ben Harper. And, he's mighty good looking! Certainly can't hurt - tee hee. He's just so smoooooth. Soothe my savage beast, Jack...

January 07, 2005

Short Attention Span Friday

Zip It!
What is the deal with these pants? The pants I have on today are backwards - no, the zipper is not in the back, they are reversed so that the flap over the zipper goes to the left instead of the right. I have to zip them up using my left hand, which is apparently retarded. I really thought that I was fairly dexterous with both hands, but I have a hell of a time zipping them with my left. If I try to use the right, it gets caught up and it just doesn't work. They're loose enough, maybe I'll try to just slide them down and not unzip them next time. Hey! Cut that out! I'm talking about going to the restroom!

Ditch It!
There are several of my beloved blogger friends who have decided to hang up their blogger hats here lately. You'll find them on my sidebar under "bloggers who have left the building." I keep them there so that I can check every once in a while to be sure that they haven't changed their mind (sad but true). Although, I might have to move Count Chocolat back up since her's may have been a false alarm (yay!).

Dastard, on the other hand, seems to have simply fallen off the face of the earth. Sure, I hook him up with this big, fancy birthday tribute and pull all of these others into it and then he ditches us all like so much bad fruitcake. Pffft! People, if you are going to quit blogging, common courtesy would dictate that you should actually say so on your blog so that people are not envisioning you being run over by a bus or something.

Flaunt It!
My sister-in-law started the South Beach diet a few months before me. She has lost a bunch of weight, and was sweet enough to pass along some of her clothes to me that she can no longer wear. They fit very nicely and are awesome! YAY! New wardrobe for Celti and FREE! Toni Jo ROCKS! I'm wearing one of my new shirts today and feeling mighty special. YAY!

Rub It!
...my worry rock, that is. I'm thinking and worrying a lot about Big Jay today. His lady, Jasmine, who is pregnant with twins, has been bleeding and cramping and they think she may have miscarried. They had an ultra-sound scheduled for this morning to see if they're still alive and still there. We, in blogland, are all waiting to hear the news. UPDATE - the twins are reported to be just fine! Excellent news. That, or as rumor has it, the entire thing is one big made up story. Could go either way.

Plow It!
Well, they finally plowed my damn road. It's about time! I was beginning to think that they had taken a few days off before finishing the job.

Dig It!
My phone, when dialing in speaker mode, makes these noises each time you push a number. It's kind of a poinking, plunk type noise. I love it! It's just one of those fun little sounds that amuses me when I hear it. Yeah, I'm wierd. So what? If you've been here long, you already knew that!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps!

January 06, 2005

Dig It!

We woke up this morning to a wonderful 15" thick blanket of snow. Welcome to winter in Iowa! Oh, how badly I wanted to snuggle back down under that blanket and never come out. Alas, I had to go to work. I can't start out January by calling in and being a wimp.

My dog, Pugsley, is only 20 lbs, about 18" tall or so. He is not fond of the snow - it's like he doesn't know what the hell to do when I take him out. I drop him in the yard, and the snow is up to his chin. It's like it paralyzes him - he'll just stand there and shiver. If you leave him out there long enough, he'll flip over on his back, stick his paws up in the air and whine until you come pick him up. It's one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen. The biggest problem, however, is that he won't do his business! He'll pee right then and there, but he will not poop. I guess he can't squat. LOL I'm sure I'll find a little surprise package at the bottom of the stairs tonight. Thanks, Pugs. I guess I'll have to scoop out a little place for him to poo. Spoiled brat.

So, I get dressed, get the kid up and dressed, find my boots, bundle up and go outside to my car which looks like a giant marshmallow. I find the door handle and pop open the door to get my snow brush. I start it up with the defroster cranked, and proceed to brushing the stuff off. Mind you, this is while wading through a good 2-3 foot drift which has formed around the car. I get it cleaned off, go inside and bundle up the kid and off we go. He, of course, doesn't want to get in the car - he wants to play, so I chase him through the yard as he giggles with delight at the new winter wonderland mother nature has provided.

We park off the alley behind our house. This alley can be quite trecherous when it snows like this. Getting out without getting stuck is quite a feat - it's all about maintaining your momentum and letting gravity work with you.

I put the car in gear and gun it in reverse to get all the way out there or I'll be stuck. Success! There is a slight incline, so getting out of the alley is no sweat as long as you go the right way. We slide down to the end where there is a T intersection with another alley. Before getting to the T, you have to gun it again to make it around the corner or....you guessed it...you get stuck. Woo hoo! We made the corner. Now, down the hill and to the street. There is a big depression where the alley meets the street, so you have to gun it again to get over that or...well, you know. I gun it down the hill, praying that no one is coming, and weeee! We make it through. One more challenge - the end of the alley to the main thoroughfare. As I come down the hill, I see that the dickhead that lives down there has plowed out his driveway, leaving a huge pile of snow where? In the alley. Jerk. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I have no choice. I got for it, and we make it through the pile and out onto the plowed street. The closest street that has been plowed so far, mind you, is 2 blocks from my house.

Derrick and I celebrated with multiple woots and cheers and a "that was fun, Mommy!" Now, well just have to figure out how to get home. Let's just hope that, by that time, they will have finally plowed our street. If they have, then we get the joyous task of digging out the sidewalks. YAY!

I leave you with this little gem for your amusement: Ice Scraping

January 05, 2005


There were two stories in the news this morning that really made me stop and ponder.

One was about the fact that Arab media sources are reportedly trying to blame the South Asia tsunami disaster on the United States and Isreal! WTF? They are saying that it was caused by American/Israeli nuclear testing. I can't believe the amount of seething hatred that they must have in their hearts to come up with shit like this. I am simply stunned.

The other one was about this crackhead woman who has 7 children (who have been taken away from her), 3 of which tested positive for cocaine when they were born. A judge has ordered her to stop having children until she proves that she can care for the ones that she already has, and now a big controversy is brewing. I really agree with the judge completely on this one. There is no way this woman should be allowed to have another child. I think that women like this should be given those birth control shots so that they cannot conceive - not just ordered not to get pregnant. She is obviously to ignorant, irresponsible or both to use birth control. I would like to know what the consequences will be if she does have another child and what is being done to help her prevent bringing another crack baby into this world.

This brings to mind some of the questions that go unanswered - life's mysteries that I ponder way to often...

Why is it that we have to get a license to own a dog, but any idiot can have a child?

Why is it that, even though I never twist the handset around (or even stand up while talking on it, for that matter) when on the phone, my phone cord gets all twisted up beyond belief?

Why do my cat and my dog insist on accompanying me to the bathroom when I go?

Why do people, at the last minute, veer off into the right lane to wait out the stop light so that I can't turn right on red?

What is up with those shoes you see laying in the street? This one really bothers me. I have noticed, time after time, that I will often see one single shoe laying in the road. Where do they come from? Where is the other shoe? And the biggest question is - WHY IS IT THERE? Didn't this person realize that they just lost a shoe? Why didn't they go back and get it? Did someone get hit by a car and whoever took them away forgot their shoe? How in the world did they lose it - were they riding along with one foot hanging out of the window???

January 04, 2005

I Took the Red Pill

Last night, in the midst of an ice storm, I was swept out of my bed and taken away by a handsome, mysterious man. It soon became clear that it was my friend, Erich. He told me that we were in danger, and that he needed my help in order to save all of the righteous. I got dressed as he stuffed guns in a big duffle bag and we slid down the front stairs and jumped into his car, my incredulous look being met with "let me explain."

The next thing I know, we are in this huge, fancy mall and we are being chased. We are doing our best to hide our guns in our clothes so that the cops won't see them. If the cops see them, they will arrest us (or shoot us) so we won't be able to accomplish our objective - to kill all the tweekers. We are chasing the tweekers, but the cooks are chasing us to keep us from killing all of their customers. Did you know that it is really hard to run with a very large gun shoved down the back of your pants? The entire time, I think I was more afraid of shooting myself or losing my gun than I was of the cooks that were chasing us. Man, I did not want to lose that gun - it was my favorite - a Ruger Super Redhawk 44 mag. Bad.ass.gun.

All of the people in the mall seemed completely oblivious to our situation, the fact that we were packing, the fact that we were running - really to our existence at all. As I passed them and looked at their faces, they were sheep with human bodies, wandering aimlessly thought the shopping mall of life.

There were several close calls where the cooks would pop shots off at us, and things like colums and potted plants would explode next to us. We greased several tweekers, and they were like zombies, still coming at you after the first few shots nailed them. It took about 6 shots to take one down.

The cooks were closing in, so we escaped from the mall by jumping into this huge tube. It was like a giant ventilation shaft, round, going straight down into the dark. Having no idea what was at the bottom, I grabbed Erich's hand and down we fell.

Then, I woke up. It was one of the the wierdest dreams I've ever had.

What did YOU do last night?