November 22, 2006

"Is the glass half-full or empty?" I ask her as I fill it.
She said it doesn't really matter, pretty soon you're bound to spill it.
With the half logical language of the sermon she delivers
And the way she smiles so knowingly at me gives me the shivers.
I pull the blanket higher when I'm finally safe at home.
She'll take a hundred with her, but she always sleeps alone.
The girl with the weight of the world in her hands.

November 20, 2006


I am SO glad this is a short week. Last week was trying to say the least. I try so hard to stay positive, and then something happens that makes you just want to throw your hands up and say "fuck it."

Not that I want to document every shitty thing that happens here - au contraire, I'd rather focus on the good. Some times it's a simple thing that comes along and puts things in perspective. Thank heavens for those things. I had one of those moments this morning.

I was thinking about the ride home from my parent's place last night. We went to visit them since they're heading for Colorado today. The drive is about and hour and a half, and we set out about 6 or so to head home.

We stopped for gas and to air up a tire that was a bit low. We grabbed a few snacks and hit the road. The D-Man chose cheetos and some chocolate milk. Hey, his choices, so whatever but it sounded like a gross combination to me.

Anyway, about 15 miles out of town, D pipes up from the back seat with "Mom, I puked." WHAT?? I was driving, so Chris turned around to check things out and confirmed that he had spewed cheetos and chocolate milk all over his front. Lovely. Fortunately, his sweatshirt took the majority of the hit, and I was able to pull over, get him out of the car because he was threatening to spew again, and get his sweatshirt off without spreading the mess around. He had a shirt on underneath, but was cold so I gave him my jacket. No more puking. Whew. Turns out that was a bad combination after all.

So, on we went down the road. After seeing a large deer hanging out on the side of the road ("Doop de doo, oh, hey! A car!"), I felt fortunate that he hadn't decided to meet my bumper.

We came into the city and hit the freeway to head to our area. As I entered the freeway, that pesky tire that had been low started making an awful noise. Uh oh. I made it about 1/2 mile and BLAM! A blowout. Now, consider that we are on a section of freeway that has no lane to pull over into. Yeah - about 3 feet of space. I pulled off as far as I could and turned on the blinkers. Dodging traffic whipping by at 65 miles per hour, I jumped out and pulled D out of the passenger side while Chris dug the jack out of the trunk and got to work. D and I stood up on the enbankment - there was no way we were sitting in that car in case some idiot rear-ended us - a dangerous situation to say the least.

Now, remember that I had given my jacket to D. It was about 30 degrees and I have no jacket. *shiver* I parked D up there with instructions not to move a muscle, and proceeded to dig the spare out of the trunk. Chris got the shredded tire off and took the spare, and I chucked the trashed tire into the trunk. Team work, I tell ya.

Anyway, getting back to the point, I drove D to school and in to work on a donut this morning. As I drove along and pondered last night's drive, an old favorite came on the radio. The lyrics - that's what put things back into perspective a bit...

Well the first days are the hardest days,
Don't you worry any more
'Cause when life looks like Easy Street
there is danger at your door.

Think this through with me, let me know your mind.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

It's the same story the crow told me.
It's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Woh - oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?

No time to dwell on shit like that.
I had a spare, D feels fine and we got home safe, that's all that matters.
Let it flow and let it go.

November 17, 2006

WTF? It's El Sid's Fault - Really, it is.

1) What stickers do you have on your car, if any?
A "Dogs Deserve Better - No Chains!" sticker and several small sun/celestial type doohickeys.

2) What posters do you have in your room?
Um...which room? I have a few in the computer room (Grow Hemp for the War, the island I lived on in Paris, a spooky looking witch-type girl...), but not in my bedroom. I'm a grown up now, silly. I took David Cassidy down at least 2 years ago!

3) What do you hear right now?
The very annoying buzzing of my CPU. *smacks CPU*

4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
Bailey's Irish Creme

5) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My head is providing me with a dull ache.

6) If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
No, but Karma and I would share a hearty high-five.

7) What's your job position called?
Marketing dowhateverineedtodotomakeyourshitorganizedandprofessional*gasp* soyoucanmakealotmoremoneythanme Assistant

8) What size ring do you wear?
Which finger, ya dork? They're all different sizes!

9) Do you own a camera phone?
Yes, yes I do, so don't pull any funny stuff around me that you don't want documented.

10) What's your bf/gf birthday?
I can't answer this since I don't have a bf/gf.

11) What was your elementary school's mascot?
A squat, drooly bulldog. He was stinky and made pig noises.

12) What's your favorite bottled water?
Aquafina, I suppose. What difference does it make???

13) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when?
Just saw the Blue Man Group this week. I'm pondering the idea of going to see Supernova, but I'm sure I won't decide until the only seats left will give you a nosebleed.

14) What were you doing at 9 pm last night?
None of your business. Let's just say I was on my hands and knees. *grin*

15) What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
Pumpkin Spice Latte - No, that's not an overweight, burnt-out Spice Girl

16) Do you exercise as much as you should?
Hell, no! Who does?

17) Did you attend your High School prom?
Yes, I a tuxedo. I shit you not.

18) Did you go to someone else's prom?
Hell, no.

19) Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you?
I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A bf/gf! You're not listening, damnit! If I did, however, probably not. Then again, we could get into the whole debate over what really counts as "cheating" and sexual relations and crap. Aw, hell.

Ooooh kaaay.

Something purple within 5 feet of you:
My big honkin' Eddie Bauer water bottle.

How long can you hold your breath underwater?
long enough to sneak up on you and depants you. muuaaaahaha

The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
I don't remember but I'm fairly certain it didn't end well.

How much Japanese do you know?
There was this kinky gal named Keiko who gave me a lapdance...oh. Domo arigato.

Sparkly things?
uh... yeah, the diamond on my finger is sparkly. Does that count?

Ever crash a car, been in accidents?
Never with me driving (knocks on wood) - I've always been the horrified, helpless front seat passenger. Three times. Because of this, I have a tendency to stomp the imaginary brake & gasp a lot - just let me drive.

Do you look good in yellow?
Simply put - no.

Do you sing?
I sure do. I do a wonderful Chester from Linkin Park. Screaming and all.

Ever sang in front of a crowd?
Yes, yes. High School/College musicals & shit. Oh yeah, karaoke. \m/

Do you dance?
Yes indeedy. I even took lessons when I was younger. No, you can't see the pictures.

Is your hair long enough to chew on?
I'd guess if someone wanted to chew on your hair, they are zombies trying to get to your brain and you must immediately hit them in the head with a cricket bat or your life is forfeit. (This was Sid's answer, but I had to leave it because it was fucking brilliant.)

Least favorite color?
pink. You will not catch me wearing pink. It makes me wretch.

Favorite kind of pizza?
Thin crust sausage & mushroom is the standard, but that chicken garlic pie from California Pizza Kitchens is rocking my socks.

Ever had Dippin' Dots?
What the fuck are Dippin' Dots? I guess that would mean no.

Ever played an instrument?
Yup - piano, French horn, trumpet, bass guitar.

How many tickets do u have?
Tickets? Lottery tickets? Concert tickets? BE MORE SPECIFIC, LOSER!!

Do you own your own car?
Yes, I do. Hooray for no car payments!

What kind of car is it?
Chevy Lumina. Boring, but fast and reliable.

Do you want to get married?
Um...been there, done that.

At what age do you want to have kids?
Been there, done that, too.

How many kids?
No more. I really think it wise to avoid contributing to the overpopulation of this fine planet. That, and my sanity would surely suffer should I have any more. Oops, too late for that.


You made it this far? Well, bless your freakin' little heart. Here are a couple funnies for you as a reward:

Photoshop madness!

Santa, how COULD you?

My work is done here. Now, comment, damnit! ;p

November 10, 2006

WTFF v.11.10.6 - Video Madness!

Yay, it's Friday! Damn, this has been a long week.

Here is this weeks crop of (mostly) video WTFness for your enjoyment...

...and the Gold Goes TO *insert drumroll*


The sweetest damned .gif avatar I've seen in...well, probably forever. It's now one of my LiveJournal avatars. Yes!


Life of a Bug

This gives quite the interesting perspective on things.

Gone, Daddy, Gone!
Ohhhh kaaaay.

Nekkid Magic

This little gem will is giggle-worthy. NSFW, though - if the title doesn't clue you in enough to that.

Another Round?

Dude's just a wee bit drunk, methinks.

Don't Touch the Swingline!

"That's the last straw. *cachunk*" Bwaaahahaha!

Flip, is that You?


That spectator they show at the end is lucky as hell!


*deep breath*


Definitely WTF

This is one of the most bizarre little movies I've seen in quite a while. WTF is about right.

Not so Much WTF - More Humana Humana

Sin City is such a cool movie. ...and then there's Nancy. Mrowr.

Well, that's all I've got for today. My apologies to those on dial-up as this one was just cruel of me. *coughgetbroadbandcough* Ahh, the joys of internet video. Endless entertainment, I tell ya.

4 Days until Blue Man Group!!! Woot!

You all have a fantastic weekend!

November 08, 2006

Can I buy a vowel?

Is it Friday yet? No? DAMN. It's been one of those weeks, peeps.

I just got back from my kid's school. I got a phone call from his substitute teacher about his behavior (which, obviously, hasn't been good). When they told him he'd have to eat lunch and spend recess in the office, he fell apart. She put him on the phone and he was hysterical. I managed to get him calmed down a little. I went to be with him while he ate and gave him a pep talk. When it was time for me to go, he cried and clung to my neck, begging me to take him with me. Heart ----> broken. I left his school in tears, but managed to hold them in until he could no longer see me.

Then, I did something I never do. I went to the bar, ate lunch and drank margaritas. I do feel a little better, but I can still feel the anxiety stewing around just under the surface.

I must say the day started out nicely, learning that my preferred candidates won the election. I won't gloat, though...that's just not nice.


Oops...sorry. heh

There's other crap going on as well, but I just want to ponder it all long enough to put it into words. Life's a bitch.

Now, I think I'll go here and shoot some kittens out of cannons for a while.

November 07, 2006

It's Voting Day

We already mailed in our ballotts weeks ago. I'm glad because it prevented all of these assinine ads from skewing my opinions. Someone pointed me at this video to further encourage me to do my civic duty...

Oh, the pink! *shudder*

...and as we know, one things leads to another. That video led to this:

Oh, the holy drunken college flashbacks! *sigh*

Now, go VOTE!

November 04, 2006


Ah, my dear, sweet blog, I've been neglecting you. My apologies.

It's been a shitty week and I'm cranky. The D-Man has been sickly all week with a horrible ear infection, though his fever finally broke Wednesday. He's been clingy and whiney and generally cranky as well. It's not been fun. Getting him to take his medecine has been trying.

For those who may wonder (or not), my boob-smash appointment went just fine though they are still watching closely. I'm looking forward to going back and having both smashed in two weeks. yay. Perhaps I should schedule an appointment to have a few teeth pulled with no anesthetic as well. You think?

So, it's finally the weekend. A time to relax? Hell no. Here's my agenda for this weekend: (updated w/accomplished items marked as done)

Laundry - as much as possible
Clean out sink & run dishwasher
clean up kitchen
help D pick up his toys
Feed the snake & clean out his tank
vaccum livingroom
find D some jeans without holes in the knees
Take down & put away Halloween decorations
clean out shoe shelf & put away summer shoes
help D sort out a box full of toys to go to poor kids in Mexico
grocery shopping
clean tub & toilet

Most important:
(and most essential to my sanity)


I drank far too much vodka last night. My head hurts. Ow.
I just ate scrambled eggs and bacon and now my stomach hurts, too. Joy.

Also on the agenda: smoking about 6 pounds of venison jerky. mmmm
Grilled bambi kabobs last night and they were delish.

I would like to ask a favor of you, though...if you've made it this far. I need a recommendation for what book to read next. I just finished "the Way of the Peaceful Warrior" and it was very good (although I am not a very peaceful warrior today). What's the best book you've ever read? Your input, please.

Stay tuned for further broadcasts on this station.