m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

July 29, 2005

SASF v.7.29

It's the dog days of summer, cheeeldren! Jump right in, the water's fine!


I know there are a lot of people who love fishing in the summer, and nightcrawlers (aka earth worms) are great bait (ewww). I seems that putting an electric current into the ground will force the worms to come to the surface where you can gather them up for bait.

Well, two people have died in the last couple of days trying to do this. They used "home made devices" (I can only imagine) and ended up electrocuting themselves. The whole thing is just nutty. One of the people doing this was a 5 year old boy! Now, WHO would let their 5 year old play around with electricity like that. Didn't they ever watch school house rock? Idiots. Pffft.

Google Me, Baby

I am proud to announce that my blog is the #1 search result for evil cheeseburger in google!

That just rocks!


How Do You Eat Your Gummi Bears?

In an IM conversation yesterday with Derek, aka Son of Cheese (that always makes me giggle), the subject of Gummi Bears came up...

Derek : eating haribo gummi bears
celtic13cross: YUM
celtic13cross: man, I love gummi bears
celtic13cross: do you tear of their heads and legs first?
Derek : yep. they're the best. NOTHING BUT THE BEST for me
Derek : lol.
celtic13cross: (giggle face)
Derek : nooo, I just grab a handful and go to town, indiscriminately mauling them
celtic13cross: aaaaaaagggggggg! gummicide!
Derek : that's right. mass mastication
celtic13cross: I bite off their heads first, then their little legs
celtic13cross: then eat the rest. lol
celtic13cross: heh heh
Derek : how sadistic.

This got me to thinking (uh oh). I bite off the head, chew it up, then each little individual leg, chew them up, and then the rest - one bear at a time. Derek, on the other hand, just chews them up by the handfulls.

How do YOU eat your gummi bears?
Do you chew them or suck them?
Do you eat them whole or torture them like I do?
Do you eat them one at a time or several?

My curiosity is killing me. Am I really sadistic and wierd (not that that would necessarily be a bad thing. lol)?

Gotta Appreciate Honesty

A satire: It is dangerous to think

It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.
Then, I began to think on the job.
I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors ... They didn't open.
The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line.
It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered to vote as a Republican.

(Ok...obligatory disclaimer - I want all Republicans that come here to know that I worried about posting this because I don't want to offend anyone. I have a few dear friends who happen to be Repubs. This was meant in good fun, m-kay? It was just too funny not to post.)


It seems the Utah Dept. of Transportation thinks that GAYSROK or GAYRYTS on a license plate is offensive. The gal who applied for it wanted to get it in support of her daughter, who is gay. She was denied. She appealed, and was granted permission by the judge to get the plate. YAY Judge! See? They don't ALL have their heads up their asses!

They've Done It Again

Burger King's ad people are totally on drugs. They have to be. First, it was the subservient chicken (who is still up and running, by the way - check him out). Then, it was that Hootie Bacon Chicken Ranch Acid Trip commercial with porn stars. NOW - it's CoqRoq - a heavy metal band singing about chicken.

They look like Slipknot on a bad day, and sound like Soundgarden on a bad day. The website features music videos, MP3s, and info about their new Chicken Fries. Man, they sure are grabbing the attention, but it's still not going to get me to eath their food. Blech. All I can think of to say is "ummmm...wow".

Hitting the Dusty Trail

This weekend is the big family reunion! Woot! I actually love this branch of the family - my Dad's mothers side...they're a lot of fun. We go up to NE Iowa and camp out with my parents. There is a fabulous state park there with bunches of CAVES! So...we'll be doing some spelunking, lots of hiking, and some geocaching. We'll be hanging out by the fire with a plethora of cousins, aunts & uncles (especially my Uncle Milan - he's a HOOT!) making some s'mores. YAY! Should be a fun, fun weekend. Oh, and we'll be having lunch with Cootera on Sat. on our way up! Woot!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps!

July 27, 2005

You Just Never Know

I often find myself contemplating the nature of human relationships (if not lamenting. lol) and how complicated they can be. My, my, what a tangled web we weave.

I've had so many experiences in relationships where people have surprised me. I thought I knew the person well, only to have them completely catch me off guard. It can be disconcerting...

A couple of examples:

John, a long time friend of Chris and I, comes to mind. A good friend who would often stop over, always friendly, always wanting to get together and BBQ or have a beer - a genuinely nice guy that we enjoyed hanging out with. One day, I was watching the news and nearly fell out of my seat when they showed the picture of a man who had been arrested for stabbing a prostitute to death and dumping her body in a ditch - it was John. He was convicted of the murder and never got out of jail before going straight to prison for life, so I was never able to get his side of the story. It haunts me and chills me to the bone - he and I had just had lunch a week before this happened. How in the world...?

Mary - one of my best friends in high school. We were tighter than tight, best buds. One night we got a little drunk, and she insisted that she drive my car home because I was too drunk to drive. Well, she was drunk, too, and ended up crashing my car (yes, with me in it). She ran off the road and flipped it three times in a deep ditch. I remember the feeling of flying and seeing grass spinning past the windows & thinking that grass shouldn't be there. We were ok - just bruised up amazingly enough. She promised to help pay for the damages. Shortly after this, she stopped speaking to me, apparently mad at me but would never tell me why she was mad. Hmmm.

Feelings of betrayal are hard to deal with - the nephew who lies to get you in trouble in an attempt to get back at you because he's pissed off that he screwed up his job opportunity, the friend that you pour your heart out to when you're hurting only to have them betray you and blab their mouth about it, the one who you trusted and let into your home only to have them steal your jewelry and money out of your purse. It makes it hard to trust people, to have faith in their goodness.

Then again, there is a positive side to all of this too - the wonderful friends who come through for you and support you when you need them the most, the ones who surprise you with a kind gesture, the ones who tell you that they care and they are thinking about you and you know in your heart that they're just telling you because they think you should know.

There are people you think you know well, you've known them for years, only to discover that they have a talent and you had no clue. This happened with a girlfriend of mine recently. Chris showed her one of my stories and she didn't believe that I had written it. She had no idea I could write. It was so funny how shocked she was. She and I have been good friends for 15 years.

You never know when these people will leave you, so it's so important to enjoy and appreciate them while they're here. The daughter of a coworker of mine fell off her skateboard friday and hit her head. She died. She was only 16. My neighbor and buddy Pod, died in his sleep and no one had any idea. Wow, I'm really starting to get sappy here. Sorry. heh heh

It's such a complicated world. Feelings get hurt so easily. People are so fragile. I don't know what I'm trying to say here and I'm starting to feel silly. *shakes head* Sometimes it all overwhelms me, and I just don't know what to say or do. Sometimes I let something stupid spill out. Hey, it's part of being human. I get lost in my own emotions, a big jumbled up mess. ...but there is love there, and empathy, and compassion, and caring, and affection, and intrigue. It's a colorful, beautiful pot of stew - well, today it is anyway. lol

I'll close this with some lyrics that I can't get out of my head. They're by Tracy Bonham, whose wonderful new CD I am enjoying at the moment. Her songs sometimes feel like they come from inside my head - another kindred spirit for me to cherish. Anyway, this song reminds me of how opening ourselves up to each other - baring our souls, if you will, makes us vulnerable. We have to do it, though, to really live and to find something beautiful.

Something Beautiful

light weight
too straight
no reaction
I don’t care if I’m not in fashion
I will follow you
I will follow you
it’s hearts up heads down puddle of red wine
you get back up and you face the climb
I will follow you

something in me almost breaks

but I wait
I’m sinking in my skin
and I wait
my heart is wearing thin
‘cause I’m looking for
something beautiful

you cut me up and you make me bleed
a sad stained heart hanging on my sleeve
I’ll still follow you
I will follow you
but you say "Look up, look up look all around you.
Can’t you see the love that surrounds the very soul of you?"

something in me almost breaks

but I wait
I’m sinking in my skin
and I wait
my heart is wearing thin
‘cause I’m looking for
something beautiful
and I pray
for it to come right in
there’ll come a day
my heart is wearing thin
that I fall upon
something beautiful
something meaningful

you stick your soul out risk it all
your fearless beauty breaks your fall

something in me knows there’s something more
and it’s so close I wanna run

but I wait
I’m sinking in my skin
yeah I wait
my heart is wearing thin
‘cause I’m looking for
something beautiful
and I pray
for it to come right in
there’ll come a day
my heart is wearing thin
when I fall upon
something beautiful
something beautiful
something meaningful

July 26, 2005

...and They're Off!

This morning at 10:39 am Eastern time, the space shuttle Discovery was launched. Congratulations to NASA and all of the people who took part in this effort on a successful launch. We'll all be holding our breath as we watch them return 12 days from now.

I don't know about you, but I get a little choked up every time I watch one of these take off. Some day it could be my little boy in one of those, as he often tells me he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up. *gulp*

I wish them success in their missions and a safe trip home.

July 25, 2005

Veg Out!

I'm meeeeellllllllttttting!

It's been hotter than Hades here, folks. I'm not joking. Temps have been in the 100+ range now for days, community centers and malls are letting people who have no A/C hang out there, the fire dept. is giving out free fans.

We went out Friday night to "Taste of Des Moines" - a festival with fun activities, live music and many local restaurants offering "tastes" of their goodies for $1. It was so hot it was hard to enjoy it, but it was ok. It was a bit vexing that many of the restaurants "tastes" were more in the $3 to $5 range rather than $1. Oh well. The greek joint's Souvlaki Skewers saved the day. mmmmm. Souvlaki. *drool*

Due to this oppressive nastiness, we didn't go out much the rest of the weekend at all. Being flat broke, there isn't much to do indoors that doesn't cost money. Thankfully, we have a Blockbuster movie pass! Woot! For anyone who hasn't heard of this wonderful idea, here's the scoop. You pay a monthly fee ($25 here) and you get unlimited rentals for the month. You can get two at a time, watch them, take them back for two more...you get the picture. No time limits, no late fees, no limitations. It's a wonderful thing.

We rented a bunch of movies this weekend. How about a brief review of each flick we watched? (I'm no movie critic, so bear with me, people. lol)


The Pacifier (Vin Diesel - rawr!)
"The toughest man in the American military faces a new kind of challenge -- looking after four kids in soccer-mom suburbia."

Very cute movie. I liked it a lot. I thought Vin did a good job on this one - so funny to see this tough, manly man change diapers and sing the "Peter Panda Dance" song with moves and everything. I have no idea what the critics thought of this one but we liked it. D LOVED the duck.


"An ordinary man with an extraordinary gift must save the planet from evil in this action-packed fantasy. Unknown to most people, the world is crowded with spirits both good and evil who walk among us in human guise. One of the few who can see these spirits is John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), but the responsibility of his vision is more than he can stand, and he tries to kill himself. Saved from death, Constantine must now atone for his actions by acting as a guardian in the middle ground between Paradise and Hell."

We had seen this one in the theater, but I wanted to see it again. Not only am I quite the Keanu Reeves fan (rawr!), it's an awesome movie. The special effects are excellent and the entire story behind it is fascinating. I thought it was very well done. Obviously, D didn't watch this one. It's just a bit on the scary side for the wee ones.


Team America: World Police
"Team America: World Police is a tongue-in-cheek but nonetheless politically biting send-up of the CGI-laden, big-budget action movies that have taken an almost exclusive hold over mainstream box offices, particularly during the summer months. Inspired by the Thunderbirds, a popular 1960s children's series, Team America: World Police uses similarly styled, but significantly more crass, marionette puppets in lieu of computer-generated images to breath life into an elite group of adventurers known as Team America. Their mission: to travel the world, root out its terrorists, and keep evil at bay."

Obviously, this one was another late-night selection. Puppet sex, gratuitous violence, LOTS of vulgarity and... well, more puppet sex. I have to admit, it was quite funny. Twisted, but funny in a South Park kind of way.


The Lord of the Rings (All Three)
A friend recently gave us a copy of "Return of the King", the third in the triology. It had been so long since we'd seen the first two, that we decided to rent them and watch all three in the proper order. We made it through almost all of them. We still have the last half of the last one to watch.

What can I say about these movies besides the fact that they are phenomenal? I love these movies so much. What a wonderful story, wonderful characters and the films are so well made. Really, if you haven't seen them, do it. I'll just stop here because nothing I can say really does them justice.


The boys did venture out Sat. evening for a go kart ride through the woods only to have the chain come off and subsequently get CHOMPED by voracious mosquitos. Dang! They didn't take bug spray because they thought they'd be moving the whole time. They came running home muddy and maddened by the bugs.

So, it really was a nice kind of "mental health" weekend. We did some intermittent napping, quite a lot of eating (I made my famous garlic lamb in the crock pot. mmmmmm. ...and spaghetti with my home made sauce that simmered all Sun. afternoon. *drool*) and I did a HUGE amount of laundry. We did a lot of playing tug-o-war and Lexi had a bath (she was very good!). D churned out a large quantity of artwork with his star wars art desk (if I color another light sabre or space ship, I'll scream) and played with his Millenium Falcon.

Although the few brief outings that we had (such as blockbuster or the grocery) were nice cabin fever avoiders, can I hear three cheers for air conditioning!?

July 24, 2005

the nerve

oh greedy one
greedy two
did you do what you could do
for crippled one or crippled two?

a can of beans
a sugar tooth?
you dig a hole under your greed
you follow down until you bleed
you don't know how it feels

oh busy one
oh busy two
none for them and all for you
the can of dreams you sold your soul
someone went and poked a hole

now there are days when you feel bad
you almost feel the heart you had

the kid inside your head
keeps asking
why the world has the nerve to keep turning
and why the sun has the balls to keep burning

oh fickle one
oh fickle two
it's back to work what can you do?
someone else will take the time
you've got yours and I've got mine

your nagging heart won't settle down
as you stop to look around

the kid inside your head
keeps asking
why the world has the nerve to keep turning
and why the sun has the balls to keep burning
and why the moon has the gall to keep staring
and why your heart can not stop caring

July 22, 2005

SASF v.7.22 - This Shit is Bananas

Feh. Despite the evil ways of the soul-sucking jerk that is life, Here I am, having drug myself up to the blogger chopping block to perform my Friday duties. I've been a slacking lazy ass here lately, stewing in my own juices if you will, but I managed to stir up a pot of goodies so as not to disappoint.

...and it's a smelly bunch o' turds. heh

drumroll, please!


Not Just Knocking my Head up Against the Wall...

Heh. That's about right.


You know you're living in 2005 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 16 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone
in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to
get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get
long-service awards.
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your
"friends list."
15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore,
except to send you jokes from the net.
16. You are too busy/distracted to notice there was no #9
17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9


Late-Night Jokes About the Karl Rove Scandal

"I think Karl Rove is getting a little worried. Like today he said the biggest problem facing Americans -- prison rape." --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove, he is very desperate now. He's trying to improve his image. And, this afternoon, earlier today, he was jumping up and down on Oprah's couch." --David Letterman

"I thought this was nice – earlier today Martha Stewart showed Karl Rove how to slip off an ankle monitor." --Jay Leno

"The president's top political adviser, Karl Rove, is spending all his time working on Bush's next Supreme Court nominee. Well sure, that's because this judge could decide if Rove is going to prison or not." --Jay Leno

"Suspicion for the leak was immediately cast on White House adviser and long time Bush confident, Karl Rove, known as one of the few men in Washington with flesh colored hair" --Jon Stewart

"Karl Rove is in a lot of trouble for allegedly leaking the name of a CIA operative.
Remember the good old days when the only thing leaking in the White House was President Clinton?" --Jay Leno

"There are hints now that President Bush might be backing away from Karl Rove. Like, today, he gave him a new job -- ambassador to Iraq. You know what's interesting -- this whole Karl Rove scandal -- it's just like the Clinton scandal. It involves a pudgy person in the Oval Office who can't keep their mouth shut." --Jay Leno

"This puts President Bush in kind of a jam because a year ago he said whoever leaked the name of the CIA operative would be fired. It's a case of Bush spoke too soon; like when he said 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is really not worried about this because he knows Bush is extremely loyal to his staff. He never likes to fire his staff -- not out of loyalty; he hates having to learn new names." --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is in a lot of trouble. The White House says today that President Bush is standing by his top advisor Karl Rove even though Rove apparently revealed the identity of a CIA agent. However, Bush did say he would fire Rove if he revealed the end of 'Charlie and the Chocolate factory.'" --Conan O'Brien

"More problems for Karl Rove -- now he's accused of leaking the plot of the Harry Potter book." --Jay Leno

"This is a tough situation for President Bush because he and Rove are very close. And a friend of both was quoted saying today they finish each other's sentence. Although I am pretty sure Bush starts the sentence, and then the other guy finishes." --Jay Leno

"The big rumor is that Chief Justice Rehnquist is going to resign from the Supreme Court this week. See, I won't believe it till it's leaked to the New York Times by Karl Rove -- then I'll believe it's true." --Jay Leno


You Just Have to Go There

This disturbs me far more than it probably should. California magic, my ass.

Pocket Piggies


This Shit is Bananas
A probing analysis of Gwen Stefani’s ‘Hollaback Girl’

A while back, I posted a bit about Gwen's new video with a link. After getting over the initial eye-candy factor involved, It seems this song has stirred up a bit of confusion and general head scratching...

(by Greg Stacy for OC)
Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" is one of the most baffling pieces of music of the modern age. It's got something to do with cheerleaders—that much is clear, judging from the chanting and the marching band that's honking and tooting in the background. Beyond that, good luck deciphering the song's ambiguities. We were so vexed by the mystery that is "Hollaback Girl" that we have devoted countless hours to its study. Our conclusions are below. The first thing you should know, though, is that Gwen is not singing "I ain't no Harlem fat girl" — at least, we don't think she is.

Uh huh, this my shit
Gwen is introducing us to her shit.

All the girls stomp your feet like this
This talk of shit and stomping has nothing to do with actually stepping on feces. But what does it mean? From a reading of the later text, we can conclude that the song takes place in the world of high school athletics, and that Gwen is apparently leading the girls in a calisthenics exercise. The "shit," we surmise, is what she calls the exercises she's teaching the other girls.

A few times I've been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that

Here, Gwen exhorts the girls to try harder as they jog around the track, reminding them that physical fitness is "not just gonna happen," but must be worked at.

Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl

These lines are the most confusing, but their meaning will become clearer later.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit
Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear
Gwen has been the victim of some slanderous high school gossip, and she doesn't appreciate it. Gwen is 35 years old sliding into MILF status at this point, but we'll grant her some poetic license.

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack

Gwen is going to round up a "posse" of her girlfriends and retaliate against the person who's been talking "smack" about her.

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
Gwen is going to beat up the person who wronged her, after she completes the cheerleading routine that will inspire the football team to score a touchdown. Gwen has interesting priorities.

That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
It seems the entire cheerleading squad is going to beat up the person who spoke ill of Gwen; they have put down their pom-poms, and they are now "fired up" to exact swift and terrible vengeance on Gwen's behalf.

A few times I've been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Gwen is apparently the captain of the cheerleader squad; she is the girl who "hollas" the chants, not one of the girls who simply "hollas" them back. Given that the squad is preparing to beat somebody up on Gwen's behalf, she's picked a strange time to remind them that she is their leader and they are her sheep-like followers. Gwen obviously rules her squad with an iron fist.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
Again with the shit.

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all

We learn that it was a "dude" who gossiped about Gwen. She challenges him to a fight at the bleachers. If he imagines it will be a fair, one-on-one fight, he is sadly mistaken. Gwen and her aforementioned "pack" will pounce on him like rabid wolves.

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust
Gwen's pack of furious cheerleaders leaves the boy a quivering, bloody heap behind the bleachers for the groundskeeper to discover the next day.

A few times I've been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Having completed their ghastly work, Gwen's squad members return to the field and resume their cheerleading activities, as Gwen reminds them once more that she is the boss and they are all her bitches.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
By calling her exercise routines "shit," Gwen is showing us that for all her bravado, the character in this song secretly suffers from profound self-esteem issues. She is a complex antiheroine for an age of changing gender attitudes and expectations.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas

Here, Gwen steps away from this bloody spectacle for a moment to comment on the madness and ugliness of what we've just witnessed, and, by extension, the petty rivalries of high school in general. This shit is bananas, Gwen tells us, and we can only agree. And lest we miss the point, she spells it out. And repeats it another three times.

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Back on the field, Gwen is still bullying the squad to carry out her routines. But now we see her in a new light, as the sad, lost creature she truly is.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
As the song fades out, Gwen is left only with her "shit," the mindless exercises that bring her no comfort from the raging emptiness within. As much as she "hollas," no one hears her cries for help.



For My Squirrel Loving (or notsomuch) Friends

E-Lo, Julz, Cootera...

That's right - the Cellular Squirrel. Ummmm....yeah.


Hope y'all have a happy weekend. *poink*

July 21, 2005

Deviant Heart

July 20, 2005

Malaise & General Blathering

Something is not right. My body has been sending me little signals, and I think it's time I start listening. I just can't pin it down to anything in particular...

A pain here and there for no apparent reason
Bleeding when I shouldn't be bleeding
Pain in jaw muscles from clenching
Back pain
Extreme fatigue during the day
Inability to get to sleep at night
Difficulty concentrating

I went to bed last night at 8:00. When I woke up this morning, I was more tired than before. gah!

Perhaps these are just manifestations of the extreme amount of stress I've been dealing with. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

We got our notice from the DHS notice that our "case" was completed and that no charges will be filed up or further follow-up recommended. Just like that, some asshat can call them up and lie like a rug, and you get raked over the coals, put under the microscope. I was relieved to see that it reported D to be a well-adjusted, happy & verbally advanced and expressive child who responded spontaneously and that he seemed well bonded to us. Well, duh. Anyway, our residence was presentable and maintained, we all appeared to be healthy and had good hygene and D did not appear to have been abused in any way. I guess we passed the test. Again, duh.

I have, however, never been so humiliated in my life. To even be accused and investigated for abusing my child, not matter how untrue it is, is horrific to me. He is our #1 priority, the source of most of the joy in my days. I can not imagine how anyone could abuse their child, but I know it happens.

Even though the accusations "appear to be" unfounded and nothing was put on our records because of it, we now have a file with the DHS and a record of the accusations is there. It makes me angry to the very core. ...and it is even worse because it was caused by a family member that we loved and trusted - someone we've done nothing to but try to help only to be rewarded with spitefulness, lies and betrayal. I guess that's what we get for trying to help this lost, insubordinate, illiterate juvenile degenerate learn a trade so he can support himself. Well, that person is no longer considered to be family and we will never speak to them again. The ties are severed. At least it appears that he's finally stopped calling us & making threats (even leaving threats on our answering machine - what an idiot!). Perhaps word got back to him that I've been looking into getting a restraining order and charging him with harrassment and extortion.

Still no income to speak of coming in from the business. The guys are working now, but it takes a bit to catch up and get a couple of draws from the new job to cover all the losses before things start flowing again.

I got to go see D having his swimming lesson yesterday. It was so cool. There is a huge observation window overlooking the pool, and I stood and watched him learning to tread water and jump in from the side for a long time before one of his buddies spotted me. Of course, after that, there was a lot of smiling, waving and general showing off. It was so cute. He's doing very well. I am so proud of my baby.

We have resigned ourselves to the fact that Lexi will have to be kennelled (some call it crated - put in her kennel) during the day when we are at work. She has been getting into too much trouble. I even tried barricading her into just the kitchen and den to keep her out of trouble, but she keeps getting through to the rest of the house. So far, she has eaten/shredded:

two shoes
a hairbrush
countless toys of D's (she dismembered R2D2 and beheaded Mr. Fantastic!)
a hat
assorted garbage
several water bottles
work gloves
my glasses case
A DVD case (DVD is ok, fortunately)

That's the short version of the list. She is used to being kennelled as her previous owners did, but I was hoping that we wouldn't have to. She has several toys in there with her to entertain herself. I guess she'll just have to deal as we can't let her eat the damned house. She could eat something that would hurt her! Silly dog. Other than that issue, she is doing great.

Well, enough blathering for today. Happy Humpday, peeps.

July 18, 2005

Junkies and a Bonus

Saturday night, I finally had the pleasure of seeing a band I have loved since college – the Cowboy Junkies. They played at this nice little outdoor amphitheater that is on the bank of the river down town.

Chris and I delivered the child to Grandma & Grandpa for the night (blessed peace and quiet!), gathered up our blanket, camera, drinks, sunscreen & bug spray and headed out. It was a stiflingly hot day – 94 degrees when we left home. We found an awesome spot on the grass, about 15 feet from center stage. The theater faces West, so, at the scheduled start time of 7:00, we were facing right into the sun. Damn, it was hot, but we were so keyed up for the show that it didn't matter.

We got some gyros (which were surprisingly good for that kind of venue) and waited for the show to begin. We were pleasantly surprised when the announcer informed us that there would be an opening act. It was Tracy Bonham. Hmmm...the name sounded familiar but I couldn't place it.

Out onto the stage came this tiny, pretty little gal – probably 5’ tall and 100 pounds, maybe. She and her band launched into their first song and HOLY COW! This woman is a great example of the saying "dynamite comes in small packages." This little musical powerhouse is a classically training violinist and pianist with an amazing voice and very impressive vocal range. Her songs were clever, witty, touching, and insightful, and I was VERY impressed. I finally figured out who she was when she played "Mother, Mother" – a song that I always liked.

Mother Mother, are you listening? Just a phone call to ease your mind
Life is perfect, never better, distance making the heart grow blind

When you sent me off to see the world, were you scared that I might get hurt
Would I try a little tobacco, would I keep on hiking up my skirt

I’m hungry
I’m dirty
I’m losing my mind
Everything’s fine

Oh, yeah! She played on the Lilith Fair tour!

For one of the songs, Butch the drummer came out from behind his set and joined Tracy center stage with a tambourine. Tracy played her violin, and Butch played the tambourine – I mean really PLAYED it. He worked that thing with his fingers and with a stick, pressing it up against the microphone in a manner that make it sound like an entire set of drums. It was simply amazing & I've never seen anything like it.

We enjoyed her performance enormously, and she was rewarded with a standing ovation which prompted her to come back for an encore. Not bad for an opening act – not too shabby at all.

Check out her website. There is an automatic player that plays some of her songs (I am particularly fond of "Shine") and you can even download a few for free. There are some videos you can watch, too.

After we gave up on trying to bring Tracy back to the stage again, Cowboy Junkies took the stage.

The Junkies' new album, 21st Century Blues, is made up of a collection of cover tunes. I was curious as to why they would do this since they obviously are masters at creating their own. Their website explains:

"By the middle of this past February (2005), we had been off the road for a few months, winter had her claws dug in deep, and it seemed like a good time to get together and play some music. An invitation was extended to our older brother John to come and sit in with his guitar. We decided to give our gathering a context: we were all to bring along two or three songs, written by others, and the themes of the songs had to relate to war, violence, fear, greed, ignorance, loss... We hoped to reach a critical mass of material that would reach out and touch a couple of hearts and souls. Our goal was to create our own small document of hope. Over the course of five days we sat in The Clubhouse and interpreted the words and melodies of others. We let the tape run while we played and did our best to channel those early 21st century blues."

I can certainly respect that kind of reasoning. They performed a few of the cover tunes, including a couple by Bruce Springsteen. Margot professed her undying love for "the boss" and practically gushed about him. It was quite cute. I wonder if he knows...lol

Their performance was very, very nice. Margot's voice was as clear and angelic as ever, and the band played flawlessly. It was so nice to finally get to see them.

It turned out to be a lovely night after the sun mercifully dipped down below the city skyline. There were so many different types of people at the show – prime people watching from hippies to yuppies, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves tremendously. It was so nice to be able to head home to relax and not worry about getting the kid to bed at a decent hour, not to mention the prospect of sleeping until whatever hour we wish in the morning.

So, now we can add the Cowboy Junkies to our list of concerts we've enjoyed. I do have to say, however, that Tracy Bonham nearly stole the show.

July 15, 2005

SASF v.7.16

It's been a VERY busy week. Unfortunately, this means I haven't had time to gather up much good stuff for today. It's been a good week, though, even considering how damned broke we have been. Chris got a good sized check today that will relieve the pressure considerably. *whew!*


A Color for Each Day of the Week?
I loved the pretty green sun dress I bought last week so much, I went and bought a blue one yesterday. They have a brown & red toned one that is nice, too...hmmmm...


I've Finally Heard...

...and am happy to report that all of my British friends are safe and accounted for. There are 700+ others who are not, however - over 50 killed and 700 injured. It's all so senseless, so barbaric. Such ignorance fueled hate can only breed more hate and violence. It's a sad, scary world we live in. My love goes out to Britain, home of my ancestors, and to the British people.


Dukes of Hazzard Purist
Ben Jones, a former Georgia congressman who played the wisecracking mechanic Cooter on the popular series "Dukes of Hazzard" from 1979 to 1985, is urging fans to skip the forthcoming movie version, calling it "a sleazy insult." He said profanity and sexual content in the film make a mockery of the family-friendly show. "Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones in an open letter to fans on his Web site. He read a script of the Warner Brothers movie, which is scheduled to be released next month. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking 'I Love Lucy' and making her a crackhead or something."

I don't know if I want to see the film or not. I have mixed feelings about it, kind of like I do about the new version of the Willy Wonka film. The originals were so good...

I do find it VERY interesting, however, that Cooter became a Congressman. Gi gi gi!


Do you Blog Nekkid?

Some fellow naked bloggers have decided that it would be fun to create a webring for their "kind." heh

Click here for details and to join. You go on with your nekkid selves. LOL


Be Proud of that Belly!

I had to think of E-Lo when I found this site. They sell belly casting kits and more. Tons of fun for pregnant ladies - belly art t-shirts and belly painting kits... Hey, if you have to put up with that melon under your shirt, you may as well have some fun with it! lol


I Hope You Dance

Although I really can't say I'm a country music fan, I found these lyrics and was very touched by them. They're from a song called "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack. I think I'm going to use some of these as a kind of inspirational piece for my son as they express many of my wishes for him although it includes some great suggestions for anyone.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking,
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making,
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out, reconsider.
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along.
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.


Have a wonderful weekend, peeps! Oh, and I hope you dance. :)

July 13, 2005

Hell Yeah

Had a good night last night. Since Chris knew what a foul mood I was in and how stressed I was feeling, he had dinner going and the wee one picked up already when I got off work. He even folded the monstrous basket of laundry I had waiting for me. Ahhhh...

So, I could just chill when I got home, and chill I did. We ate dinner and then went to the pool. A couple of hours of paddling around and going down the water slide will do wonders for a stressed out soul.

I tell you, though, watching that video I linked a couple of times after yesterdays post did wonders. Such a funny video. Check it out. (Click "Break Stuff" - 2nd Column, 3rd down). It's Limp Bizkit. That song expresses, in a lot of ways, how I was feeling yesterday.

You know, seems like everyone now a days is dissing on Limp Bizkit but I don't care. I still like them. It's probably because of the time that I hung out with them back stage at a concert.

I have no idea what year it was (96 maybe?), but they were just starting to become pretty popular. I saw them at a local venue, and Chris and I just blew past the guard at the backstage entrance stating that we were with the Def Tones, who were also playing that night. We watched Mancow go into a storage room to get blow jobs from about 3 different chicks (ew), and hung out with the Def Tones and their crew while Limp Bizkit was on stage. They were awesome! They came off stage, and Fred Durst flopped down on the couch right next to me. Well, Hello! I told him they fucking rocked & he thanked me. Introductions followed and we hung out with he and the band and smoked a lot of pot. Their pot, even. heh heh. They were totally cool and funny to hang out with. I even got to explore Fred's tattoos and pick out which ones I liked best. :) Good times.

So, I watched Rock Star INXS last night. Curiosity got the best of me. I have to say, a few of the performers really did rock. I liked the blond guy the best. He wasn't too over the top, had a great voice and knew how to work the crowd. I find it very interesting that INXS is seeking to replace Michael Hutchence in this manner.

I guess this kind of thing is what bands do anyway to hire someone, but they're just making it into a televised contest. Clever really - a good way to get their music back into the limelight after so long. Publicity is always a good thing.

INSX was one of my favorite bands and I used to have a monsterous crush on Michael Hutchence. He was passionate, he was an incredibly powerful performer, he had an incredible voice and presence. He was awesome. I was so saddened when I heard that he died in '97. They said it was suicide, but there are many theories that his death was an accident - autoerotic asphyxiation gone horribly wrong. It was a tragedy, regardless.

Wow, that could take me to the wrong side of where I want to go today. Chin up, girl - remember where you want your mind to be and remember Michael for the bright points in his life! I guess my point is that whoever wins this contest (the show, that is) has incredibly large shoes to fill.

I've been doing a lot of comtemplating of the circular nature of my emotions and moods - the fluxuation between highs and lows and the trips between the two. I think I've decided that it's ok - it's how it's supposed to be. Maybe the extremes are a bit much, but it's really how life is.

I have noticed that everything a person does is in a circle and that is because the power of the world always works in circles - everything tries to be round. The sky is round and the earth is round like a ball and so are the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls. Birds make nests in circles. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back again to where they were. The life of a human is a circle from childhood to childbirth and so it is in everything where power moves.

Cast a circle, draw in the power, ground yourself and live life to the fullest. Hell yeah.

July 12, 2005


I had a nice long post written, JUST about done, about how freaking broke we are and why, and blogger fucking ATE IT FOR LUNCH. Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I just don't have it in me to write the whole thing over again.

Put it this way - we got screwed out of $10,000 on the last house we built, now the next house isn't ready to start yet. All of Chris' employees are whining and crying, threatening to jump ship. The business account is overdrawn, the personal account is overdrawn and I AM OVERDRAWN.


*deep breaths*

I just got paid a Friday and that is already gone. There is no additional income in the forecast until the 22nd, and no money to pay for:
D's preschool weekly payment
the overdue water bill
the overdue cell phone bill
the overdue house payment

This only one of the issues that is stressing me out. No wonder I can't any freakin' sleep.

Yes, yes, I know...this, too, shall pass. I know it's only temporary. I'm just not handling things well today.

Ok...I said I wasn't going to rewrite this.

So, I won't.

Fuck you, Blogger.

Update 4:08pm:
Check this out. Click "Break Stuff" - 2nd Column, 3rd down. Yeah...that's the ticket! I think I need to go for a go kart ride when I get home.

July 11, 2005

Someone New to Love

We got to bed far later than we should have, knowing that morning would come all too soon. Our play had lasted into the late hours, but with the newness of our relationship we were still getting to know one another.

She crawled into bed next to me, snuggling in as close as she could. Her warm body pressed against mine, I stroked her beautiful black hair, so soft and silky, as we drifted off to sleep, her warm breath on my neck.

She woke me up at 4 am, squirming and needy. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep, having only been in the dream world for a few hours, but her urgency was not to be denied.

I went out to the kitchen, Lexi on my heels, clipped on her collar and leash and took her outside to pee. Yes, at 4 am. Ug.

I got a new dog. What were you thinking? heh heh

Alexis (Lexi) came to live with us on Saturday.

After losing our sweet Pugsley in April, we knew that we wanted to get another dog. We didn't get in a hurry though...we were waiting for the right dog to come along. We wanted to take in one who needed a home, a rescue, rather than buy one and didn't particularly want to deal with the tribulations of a baby puppy. We wanted a younger one, though, one that would be with us for a long time and make a great companion for D. We wanted a medium sized dog, a little bigger than Pugsleys 20 lbs. but not too big.

Chris saw a flyer on an ad board at the grocery store on Friday. A cute, 9 month old mixed breed girl - free to a good home. She was sweet, loving, playful, up to date on all of her shots, heartworm & parasite protected, spayed and potty trained. She even came with a prepaid membership to our local dog park, good until the end of the year. Apparently a Malamute mixed with ?, she only weighs about 30 pounds and the vet said she'll probably be no more than 35 at full size. She looked perfect, so he pulled down the flyer and called.

With our experience with dog rescue and causes (something I should post about in more detail), they were put at ease knowing that we are dog lovers. He told them about Pugsley, and the heartbreak of losing him, and what we were looking for in a new friend. I called them when he came home and showed me the flyer, and we talked for a long time, arranging to come to meet her the next morning.

Chris had work to do Sat. morning, so D and I went to meet Lexi. She is a total sweetheart - she and D hit it off immediately. She loves to play fetch and tug-o-war, and they nearly wore each other out playing during the 2 hours we were there. Her owners loved her dearly, having pulled her from a shelter in Missouri a month earlier. The problem was that they had 5 cats - and the cats were absolutly terrified of her. They hid all of the time, and after a month they were not getting any closer to accepting her, so they had decided that it wasn't fair to the cats to keep her. I could tell it was hard for them to let her go, but they knew that we would give her a good home. I agreed to let them come visit her any time they want and even take her to the dog park for an afternoon if they so desire. They were thrilled.

They brought her over a few hours later to her new home, our house. It has gone well so far - our cats are adjusting. Leonardo, king of the roost, has delivered a few "lessons" on who's boss and she learned quickly, yipping with her tail between her legs. She respects him and give him a wide berth already. Soon, they'll be buddies just like he and Pugsley were. The kitten is still scared of her, but I think that won't last long.

We took her to Petco yesterday, a grand adventure to be sure, and got her a new walking harness, some treats and new toys (although she came with a large bag of stuffed toys and bones). Spoiled? Nah... not our dog. ;) Then we took her over to Grandma and Grandpa's house to meet them. They used to have a Malamute, and fell in love with her immediately.

She loves car rides and loves to snuggle with you - she'll crawl up in your lap and set her muzzle on your shoulder. When you snuggle and pet her, she sighs with contentment. What a sweet girl.

She has had a couple accidents in the house, but mainly due to our not knowing how to read her. She doesn't whine, bark or scratch at the door when she needs to go. She simply acts restless. I also learned that you have to be patient with her as she tends to mill around quite a bit before getting down to business.

I'm sure you'll all hear plenty about her in upcoming posts. See the next post down for some pics. We're so happy to have finally found our pup.

July 09, 2005

Looky Looky

Blog World, I would like to introduce you to...

Lexi! 9 Month Old Malamute mix rescue pup extraordinaire!

She is SUCH a sweetie.

...and the newest member of our family.

Don't worry...many details to come. :)

July 08, 2005

SASF v.7.8

Ok, boys and girls! Sit down in a nice little half circle and let's see what Miss Celti has found for you today!

Shall we clap to the beat?

Very good!


Worlds Shortest Personality Test

You know, at first I was like "yeah, right, like this thing can be even close to accurate..."

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

I have to say, I'm quite surprised at how accurate it was for me. Not dead on, but pretty close.


A Child's Mind

Ever wonder what in the world could be going through your little one's mind? I sure do! My 4 year old son sometimes crawls in bed with us in the middle of the night. A few nights ago, he did just that. Several times, in the middle of the night, I awoke to him giggling - practically laughing in his sleep. It was so cute and funny. I asked him, after he awoke, if he remembered what he dreamed about and he said that there was a funny bug on the ceiling. Hmmm... Well, I'm glad to know he has happy dreams.


Geek Paradise

A wonderful discovery: Gizmag!
Gadgets, Gizmos and Goodies can be found here such as:

The Iannello-designed Voodoo Knife Set or the Free Spirit Spherical Tree House!

Check it out - there is some cool stuff to be found here.


The Flying Carpet

Gizmag also has an article about digital works of art made into carpet. So cool!!

The carpet above is an arial sattellite photo of a landscape - the work of artist Seyed Alavi. He has his own amazing website that you should also check out. His public art installations are fantastic!


A Tribute to Older Women

Although I am not there yet, I have several friends who are already over 40 or quickly approaching. This piece, written by Andy Rooney, is for them:

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all, and here are just a few reasons why:

A women over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you are thinking.

If a women over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it, she does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified, they seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, it you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't know her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age, you never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always seem to already know them.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart, Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one!

You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

For every stunning, smart, well coiffed hot women of 40+, there is a balding paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I want to say right now, I apologize for all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"....here's an update for you. Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage. Why? because they realize it's not worth the entire pig, just to get a little sausage."

Some of those are absolutely true of women in their 30s as well! I am looking forward to my 40s!

Found at Finding Sunshine


July 06, 2005

Your Turn

Got this meme from RainyPete. So, I'm feeling a little burnt, tired from lack of sleep (damned insomnia making me crazy) and generally lacking anything interesting to post.

So...here's the scoop. If you're willing to participate, post a comment with the answers to these questions. If you choose not to, then that's your prerogative. Comments of any other nature (other than snotty. lol) are welcome, as always. Make it interesting, peeps!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

July 05, 2005

What I Learned This Weekend

If you decorate your go-kart real patriotic-like, the cops will not only not mess with you, they will ask for rides.

8 1/2 Hours at an amusement park with a 4 year old is exhausting!

It's really hard to get a picture of a child on a fast-moving ride.

Those little "snake" things that you set on fire and watch burn are lame.

A 1/2 full beer will sit on the hood of a car for a long time while driving around town. It can also cause intense giggling.

Firemen throw more candy if you whistle at them.

Nipple rings really do enhance stimulation.

White Russians are the best.drink.ever.

It is not wise to try to paint ones toenails in a moving car while drunk.

Bratwurst floats.

Pavement and elbows are not friends.

The cleavage is a great place to carry your cell phone when a. you have no pockets or purse and b. the band is too loud for you to hear it ring (vibrate).

There are a lot of white people living in Somalia.

Morning glory sparklers smoke a LOT more than the regular ones. *cough*

Banana Boat sunscreen turns a small child into greased lightening.

Obi Wan Kenobi cannot swim but C3PO can.

Wire haired Jack Russell Terriers shed...a lot.

It is wise to lean your head against the safety harness thing when ripping around corners on a rollercoaster so as not to smack the side of your head on it due to G forces. Ow.

Flag poles make great launchers for bottle rockets.

People can get really pissy after being drunk for over 8 hours.

The best place for a tattoo is the cleavage. :)

July 03, 2005

Weekend Glimpses

Who Links Here