m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

July 29, 2005

SASF v.7.29

It's the dog days of summer, cheeeldren! Jump right in, the water's fine!

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Shocking!

I know there are a lot of people who love fishing in the summer, and nightcrawlers (aka earth worms) are great bait (ewww). I seems that putting an electric current into the ground will force the worms to come to the surface where you can gather them up for bait.

Well, two people have died in the last couple of days trying to do this. They used "home made devices" (I can only imagine) and ended up electrocuting themselves. The whole thing is just nutty. One of the people doing this was a 5 year old boy! Now, WHO would let their 5 year old play around with electricity like that. Didn't they ever watch school house rock? Idiots. Pffft.

***
Google Me, Baby

I am proud to announce that my blog is the #1 search result for evil cheeseburger in google!

That just rocks!

***
Gummicide

How Do You Eat Your Gummi Bears?

In an IM conversation yesterday with Derek, aka Son of Cheese (that always makes me giggle), the subject of Gummi Bears came up...

Derek : eating haribo gummi bears
celtic13cross: YUM
celtic13cross: man, I love gummi bears
celtic13cross: do you tear of their heads and legs first?
Derek : yep. they're the best. NOTHING BUT THE BEST for me
Derek : lol.
celtic13cross: (giggle face)
Derek : nooo, I just grab a handful and go to town, indiscriminately mauling them
celtic13cross: aaaaaaagggggggg! gummicide!
Derek : that's right. mass mastication
celtic13cross: I bite off their heads first, then their little legs
celtic13cross: then eat the rest. lol
celtic13cross: heh heh
Derek : how sadistic.

This got me to thinking (uh oh). I bite off the head, chew it up, then each little individual leg, chew them up, and then the rest - one bear at a time. Derek, on the other hand, just chews them up by the handfulls.

How do YOU eat your gummi bears?
Do you chew them or suck them?
Do you eat them whole or torture them like I do?
Do you eat them one at a time or several?

My curiosity is killing me. Am I really sadistic and wierd (not that that would necessarily be a bad thing. lol)?

***
Gotta Appreciate Honesty



***
A satire: It is dangerous to think

It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.
Then, I began to think on the job.
I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors ... They didn't open.
The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line.
It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered to vote as a Republican.

(Ok...obligatory disclaimer - I want all Republicans that come here to know that I worried about posting this because I don't want to offend anyone. I have a few dear friends who happen to be Repubs. This was meant in good fun, m-kay? It was just too funny not to post.)

***
DOTSUX

It seems the Utah Dept. of Transportation thinks that GAYSROK or GAYRYTS on a license plate is offensive. The gal who applied for it wanted to get it in support of her daughter, who is gay. She was denied. She appealed, and was granted permission by the judge to get the plate. YAY Judge! See? They don't ALL have their heads up their asses!

***
They've Done It Again

Burger King's ad people are totally on drugs. They have to be. First, it was the subservient chicken (who is still up and running, by the way - check him out). Then, it was that Hootie Bacon Chicken Ranch Acid Trip commercial with porn stars. NOW - it's CoqRoq - a heavy metal band singing about chicken.



They look like Slipknot on a bad day, and sound like Soundgarden on a bad day. The website features music videos, MP3s, and info about their new Chicken Fries. Man, they sure are grabbing the attention, but it's still not going to get me to eath their food. Blech. All I can think of to say is "ummmm...wow".

***
Hitting the Dusty Trail

This weekend is the big family reunion! Woot! I actually love this branch of the family - my Dad's mothers side...they're a lot of fun. We go up to NE Iowa and camp out with my parents. There is a fabulous state park there with bunches of CAVES! So...we'll be doing some spelunking, lots of hiking, and some geocaching. We'll be hanging out by the fire with a plethora of cousins, aunts & uncles (especially my Uncle Milan - he's a HOOT!) making some s'mores. YAY! Should be a fun, fun weekend. Oh, and we'll be having lunch with Cootera on Sat. on our way up! Woot!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps!

31 Comments:

At July 29, 2005 10:21 am, Blogger Inanna said...

I separate my gummi bears into color coded piles... then I eat two or three at a time, until they're all gone!!! Love the hippy and the evil cheeseburger!

 
At July 29, 2005 11:24 am, Blogger sydwynd said...

I eat my gummies one at a time, whole. Sometimes, however, I'll stretch or squish them and make them into amusing characatures. I'm funny that way.

I agree that people shouldn't think. If people would let me do the thinking for them and simply blindly obey me, my life would be simple and theirs would be fullfilled, serving me. (sigh) 4 years of dictator school gone to waste.

I saw the commercial. I thought the band was amusing but chicken fries sounded kind of gross. What is a chicken fry anyway?

 
At July 29, 2005 11:34 am, Blogger Boobabe said...

I'm not much into Gummi Bears...I like the sour patch kids (and no they aren't the same thing) I bite into them and stretch them. Then I pull on it some more whilst nibbling away. I start at the head and keep nibbling and pulling until there is nothing left to nibble or pull. Of course that is after I pop about 4 of them into my mouth at once, whole so I get the true bite of the sour coating.
Bet you're real sorry you brought up this subject.

Have a great weekend and have an extra s'more for me. =)

 
At July 29, 2005 12:36 pm, Blogger Derek Knight said...

one at a time. one BAG at a time.

God, I love those things...

 
At July 29, 2005 12:39 pm, Blogger Pup said...

I love my gummies!

I've finished a 5lb bag of it by myself once.

And you eat them exactly like I do. The head first, then each little arms and legs.

Sometimes I bit off a head and stick them on another bear too. :)

 
At July 29, 2005 1:38 pm, Blogger Cootera said...

I'm a Skittles gal...

And I'm polishin' the ol' spatula for your visit!!

 
At July 29, 2005 3:23 pm, Blogger Denny Shane said...

Sounds like a great wekend!!! Have fun!

Gummy bears? Well, I just pop em into my mouth whole and start chewing til I am sure they are dead.

 
At July 29, 2005 3:51 pm, Blogger evilsciencechick said...

I suck on mine until they kind of desintigrate a bit...then chew them up. MMMMMMM!!!

For extra fun light a candle, and then slowly heat up your gummi bear on a toothpick. make's 'em WARM and gummi! and interactive! and a fire hazaard!!!

 
At July 29, 2005 4:43 pm, Blogger Celti said...

Nanner - I do that sometimes, too...except I still do the didmembering. lol thanks!

Vince - oooh, stretching & squishing them is good. Funny! Ahh...don't give up on the dictatorship, you just haven't found the right flock. lol

Boo - sour patch kids are kewl. I like the sour. They get the same treatment from me as the bears. *evil laugh* Nope, not sorry! lol

Derek - hee hee! Gummiciiiiiide!

Pup - why am I not surprised. lol. Haven't we discussed that before? Yep - mutant bears.

Cootera - Doncha know, gummi bears are good for your nails. I like my sliders extra cheeeeeezy. LOL

Denny - Do they make garlic gummi bears? LOL

ESC - leave it up to "bunsen" to set them on fire. sucker. LMAO

 
At July 29, 2005 4:58 pm, Blogger Michael said...

I don't like gummies, but I'm like D with jellybeans. I love jellybeans, and one by one is okay, but i lk ta stuff all th flvas n my mmouth atonce.mmmmm

 
At July 29, 2005 7:32 pm, Blogger se7en said...

WHAT is a gummi bear and should I be concerned about their wellbeing? hehe

have a great time on the reunion trip and give Ang a great big sloppy uhmmm.. kiss! From me! hehe

;)

 
At July 29, 2005 9:36 pm, Blogger Brighton said...

I separate them into colour piles, then eat the red (my fav), the yellow, and the orange. They are the only colours I like, so the rest end up stuck to my forehead in an attempt to make my kids giggle.

 
At July 29, 2005 9:43 pm, Blogger midwest_hick said...

As always....you got interesting stuff to peruse....and is it spook cave your talking about?

 
At July 29, 2005 10:14 pm, Blogger Julie said...

I pop them into my mouth, straight at the molars. None of this incisor tearing business with my gummis.

Now, Swedish Fish, I tear.

We have a couple of guys in NYC with signs that say "I need money for booze, drugs, and a hooker. Hey, at least I'm tellin' you the truth!"

 
At July 30, 2005 8:07 am, Blogger Jamie said...

Ok, I, like ESC, suck on them till they are dissintegrated enough to behead them with my tongue, then I nibble them into bunches of little pieces. And I have to eat different colors each time. No color twice in a row.

I just LOVE SASF!

 
At July 30, 2005 11:06 pm, Blogger lucidkim said...

i eat them whole - usually two at a time - never looking at the color and sometimes when two flavors don't mix well i get slightly annoyed, but keep eating them the same way anyway. mostly like m&ms - no flavor issues there. :) funny post about thinking - i'll pass that along, i love it. kim

 
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