Oh yes, cheeldren, I have lots of purty pictures and stories for you from my vacation. First on the agenda, however, is THE RANT THAT SO BADLY NEEDS TO ESCAPE FROM MY CRANIUM.
OK. Vacation was splendid. Really. We relaxed and had fun, got silly drunk, swam a lot, cavorted on large sailing ships, etc. etc. The travel was uneventful, the child was wonderfully well-behaved. Just splendid. Why is it that these things can not last?
I should have known that it was a bad omen when I left my vodka in the freezer in the hotel room.
After arriving home last night, Chris went to fill up with gas in his truck so he'd be ready for work today. The brakes went out. They went out at the gas station. Yeah. It's stranded at the gas station and I, of course, am without a car today as a result. So, I'm stuck here at the office.
Wait - it gets better.
Despite the minor girations that had to occur due to the previously mentioned brake failure, I walked into work all smiles. I rounded the corner into the sales area where my office is to be hit by what initially seemed to be a furnace blast. WTF? The air conditioning in our building is controlled by several different units, and, as luck would have it, the unit that controls the a/c in MY OFFICE is broken. It's 110 FREAKING DEGREES OUTSIDE (heat index, that is) AND THE AIR IS BROKEN.
Thankfully, I wore a sleaveless (you know, that's probably mis-spelled and I don't give a fuck) dress with a sweater that came off immediately. Fan is on high and I'm doing the wind-blown supermodel sheen here. Too bad I don't have a webcam.
I log in to my computer and nearly lay a freaking egg. See, the plan was to install an additional hard drive in my PC while I was gone so that I would have some room to store some stuff. I asked THREE times to verify that my C: drive would remain as is, intact, and would not be wiped. No problem. Did I back my shit up? No. HUGE MISTAKE.
THEY WIPED IT CLEAN AS A FUCKING WHISTLE.
No only did they, in the process, delete many very important business files for which I am certain to get my ass kicked not to mention creating TONS of work recreating, they also failed to reinstall any of my printer drivers. Yeah. GONE is command workstation, my ENTIRE Adobe suite including illustrator, photoshop, acrobat..., my CD burning software, the f'ing CEO's personal projects, my favorites - ALL GONE.
The IT guy is coming by this afternoon as soon as he gets back into town to "try to see if he can restore any of that." He'd better bring his magic wand or it might get ugly.
I installed my
Oh yeah, and the digital support rep for the company, the one woman who has helped keep me sane and who knows far more than anyone else here and we would be screwed without? Yeah, she resigned. Bah dum dum.
I'm sitting at my desk, sweating, eating a roast beef sandwich that luckily I had the foresight to slap together since I knew I would be stranded here. I've been trying very hard to keep a good attitude going, but as the day goes on and I hit brick wall after brick wall because I can't do my job because I don't have this file, or that driver, or this application, it is going down hill for sure.
I NEED A DAMN TIME MACHINE SO THAT I CAN RETURN TO MY HOTEL IN GREEN BAY WITH A FROSTY DRINK, SITTING BY THE POOL, IN THE HOT TUB OR ON A LARGE SAILING SHIP. I would swiftly press "pause" and that's that. Done. Finito.
Oh yeah, and that fabulous dress I ordered for the class reunion? ...the one that was on the 22nd of July? It arrived on the 24th of July.
Die, evil bloody slow apathetic eBay bitch, DIE!
Damn it, that's supposed to be an animated .gif. See? This day sucks ass.
I should have known better. Despite what I was told, I should have backed my shit up. WHY didn't I? Because I'm a fool.
LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE - TRUST NO ONE.
It's the safest way to go.