m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

September 30, 2005

Life is All About ASS

You're either covering it,
Laughing it off
Kicking it
Sitting on it
Kissing it
Busting it
Trying to get a piece of it
behaving like one
or you live with one!


Love to you all. Take care of yourselves and the people who love you.

3...2...1...out.

#%&$**!

SASF will be coming, folks, along with responses to comments. Busy with work that must take priority. *! Not sure what time it will be though. Right now, I am so full of anger, frustration and resentment that I can hardly see straight. Something is right on the edge of snapping.

See ya in a bit. Hopefully.

September 29, 2005

May I Borrow $.02, Please?

Ok peeps...I'm gonna do it. Yes, ink. I'm going to get a tattoo. I realize that what I choose is permanent - it will be there until my dying day, so this is important. I've posted before about what the celtic cross means to me, so that is what I have chosen. Now, the hard part - what design?

This is where you come in. I have chosen several images and would like you to give me your opinion on which one you think I should get. Keep in mind that, no matter which design, it will be one with 4 equally sized sides - that's important to me.

Another important decision is location. I have decided to get the tattoo just above my solar plexus. I want it to be easy to hide, even if in a swimsuit, but also easy to show if I want to. This way, if I show someone my tattoo, they'll also get to see my cleavage (bonus! lol).



For colors (if color is involved) I have chosen green. Green is perfect for this spot because it is good for soothing the emotions and it resonates with the color of that point (the heart). It can help bring that point to balance, which is often not the case for me.

Sooo...what do you think?




As of right now, my faves are 1, 2, 6, 15 & 16.

***

Oh yeah! It's HNT - half nekkid Thursday! How about a little neck? lol
Going along with today's post, here is an experiment - a temporary tatt. It landed about 4" higher than where I think I'll put it. Happy HNT!

September 27, 2005

Child of the '80s

Ahhh, yes - The Top 100 Songs from 1987. Here they are in all their glory and my comments about them.

1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles - Feh. I liked it when it first came out, but then they overplayed it so badly that it made me cringe.

2. Alone, Heart - I liked pretty much anything by heart. This was a good one. I seem to remember dedicating this one more than a couple times...

3. Shake You Down, Gregory Abbott - ooooh, I liked this one. He had a way about him when he sang it that made me want to swoon.

4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me), Whitney Houston - Ug. Whitney always made me want to gag. She was just so goody goody - little did we know she was smoking crack backstage. lol

5. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, Starship - Ew, the Jefferson Sellout. Not.

6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil - It was catchy. That's about all I have to say, though.


7. Here I Go Again, Whitesnake - Ooooh, the king of the hair bands. I liked the song then, but when I see them now they make me crack up.

8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range - One of my all time fave songs - so insightful. I still listen to this album. Bruce is brilliant. I could listen to him tickle the ivories all day.

9. Shakedown, Bob Seger - Hmmm...don't remember it. I never was much ofa Bob Seger fan, though.

10. Livin' On A Prayer, Bon Jovi - oh, lord. Yeah, it was good back then. Reminds me of my best friend at the time, though. She ended up burning me good, so bad memories...

11. La Bamba, Los Lobos - overplayed, sick of it.

12. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung - Cool song. The video was a hoot.

13. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House - I loved Crowded House. Good song - very um...dreamy. :)

14. Always, Atlantic Starr - Don't remember it. Don't remember them. heh

15. With Or Without You, U2 - U2 were and still are freakin' awesome. This one is a classic.


16. Looking For A New Love, Jody Watley - I liked this one. Very funky. I used to try to dance like her. lol

17. Head To Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam - Cheese alert! Too bubbly for me.

18. I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany - Oh, gag! Never could stand her. Yikes.

19. Mony Mony, Billy Idol - Woot! LOVED Billy Idol! Hell, I suffered 2 broken ribs for him on the "Rebel Yell" tour - front row smashed up against the stage. This is a silly song but mainly because of the whole "get laid get f*'d" thing.

20. At This Moment, Billy Vera and The Beaters - If it's the one I think it is, it was a sweet love song.

21. Lady In Red, Chris De Burgh - I really liked this one. Always made me want to wear a red dress. lol

22. Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston - Yep, almost Whitney. ...until you fried your voice with crack!

23. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2 - Another classic. I still haven't either.

24. I Want Your Sex, George Michael - Ooooh, yeah. Hot. Don't care how gay he is, this is a hot song.

25. Notorious, Duran Duran - I was such a Durannie, they could do no wrong. I adored them and everything they did.

26. Only In My Dreams, Debbie Gibson - I couldn't stand her, either. Something about that high pitched, squealy voice. Ug.

27. (I've Had) The Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes - Dirty dancing was a great movie. This song would have sunk like a rock without it.

28. The Next Time I Fall, Peter Cetera and Amy Grant - Eh...it's ok. Just ok.

29. Lean On Me, Club Nouveau - Cool song. Good effort for a one-hit-wonder.

30. Open Your Heart, Madonna - I loved Madonna, but this wasn't one of my favorites. It just seemed to bouncy & foo foo.


31. Lost In Emotion, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam - Hmmm...again, remember them but not this song.

32. (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew - very dramatic, but a good tune if you're in the right mood.

33. Heart And Soul, T'pau - I liked this one, but seem to remember it being over played.

34. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde - Also quite dramatic, but a cool song nonetheless.

35. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Georgia Satellites - This is a good one still. I loved these guys, and this song was so funny & fun to sing.

36. I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me), Aretha Franklin and George Michael - Nah...never thought this pairing worked. It was ok, I suppose, but didn't blow my skirt up.

37. Control, Janet Jackson - Janet coming into herself. You go girl.

38. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram - A bit on the cutesy & cheezy side, but I liked it. Linda Ronstadt is awesome.

39. U Got The Look, Prince - I loved just about anything by Prince. This wasn't one of my favorites, though. Like so many others around this time, it was a bit too bouncy.

40. Land Of Confusion, Genesis - Excellent song. I really liked Genesis & their videos were too cool.

41. Jacob's Ladder, Huey Lewis and The News - I liked Huey Lewis, but don't remember this song at all. Sheesh.

42. Who's That Girl, Madonna - another one from her foo foo bouncy girl stage. You can do better, material girl.

43. You Got It All, Jets - I did like this song although the Jets were corny as hell. This is a nice love song.

44. Touch Me (I Want Your Body), Samantha Fox - Oh, what a slut. I couldn't stand this tramp, and this song was so typical of her. Jeez.

45. I Just Can't Stop Loving You, Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett - Um...wha? I don't have any recollection of this one at all. Kinda scary.

46. Causing A Commotion, Madonna - Eh...it's ok.

47. In Too Deep, Genesis - Not as good as the other one, but all their songs were pretty good.

48. Let's Wait Awhile, Janet Jackson - oh, sweet innocence. *choke* She got over it soon enough. lol


49. Hip To Be Square, Huey Lewis and the News - Cool song! Loved it & I think this was the one that made me a Huey fan.

50. Will You Still Love Me?, Chicago - Wow, I really liked Chicago, but don't remember this one either. I'd probably know it if I heard it. Oh well.

51. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac - Sweet! I loved Fleetwood Mac (still do) and this was a very nice tune.

WOW! This is a hell of a lot more work than I thought it would be!

52. Luka, Suzanne Vega - ahhh, the dawn of the new age of social awareness. Great song.

53. I Heard A Rumour, Bananarama - ahhh, the dawn of the foo foo sexy chick group. Not really, but I know for a fact that all if not 66% of these girls can't carry a tune in a bucket.

54. Don't Mean Nothing, Richard Marx - eh. that is all. lol

55. Songbird, Kenny G - well, if you like sax...

56. Carrie, Europe - Don't remember it. Don't remember them. heh

57. Don't Disturb This Groove, System - Don't remember it. Don't remember them. heh

58. La Isla Bonita, Madonna - Madonna goes Latin. I kinda liked it.

59. Bad, Michael Jackson - Who's bad? Well, didn't we find out later on. lol He warned us!

60. Sign 'O' The Times, Prince - yay, Prince!

61. Change Of Heart, Cyndi Lauper - Cyndi rocked and still does. Love that girl & always admired her for being such an individual. This was a sweet song.


62. Come Go With Me, Expose - no. just no.

63. Can't We Try, Dan Hill and Vonda Shepard - Don't remember it. Don't remember them. heh

64. To Be A Lover, Billy Idol - Oh, to be his lover. lol He used to make my toes curl, but not any more.

65. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby and the Range - another fave from Bruce. I used to listen to this alot in France. Wonderful, wonderful song.

66. Breakout, Swing Out Sister - It was a cool song...then.

67. Stand By Me, Ben E. King - A classic. Love this song.

68. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis - Good song, although it gets to be a bit repetative by the end.

69. Someday, Glass Tiger - I vaguely remember them, but don't remember the song. My memory of them is that they were cheezy.

70. When Smokey Sings, ABC - no. These guys were cornier than hell. ...and yeah, the song is corny.

71. Casanova, Levert - Don't remember it. Don't remember him. heh

72. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine - catchy but annoying if heard too much. Gloria is awesome - I really admire her.

73. Rock Steady, Whispers - Funny how, when young and innocent, you have no idea what some songs are really about. Then you listen to them later...Oh. Oooooh!

74. Wanted Dead Or Alive, Bon Jovi - Dead would be my choice. lol

75. Big Time, Peter Gabriel - One of my all time fave videos. Good song, too.

76. The Finer Things, Steve Winwood - there are a lot of finer things compared to this song.

77. Let Me Be The One, Expose - nope, sorry. You're not the one. LOL

78. Is This Love, Survivor - Great song. Was this their only hit?

79. Diamonds, Herb Alpert - no recollection whatsoever

80. Point Of No Return, Expose - Were these guys really that popular? Jeez. Don't remember the song at all.

81. Big Love, Fleetwood Mac - Not one of their best, but not bad.

82. Midnight Blue, Lou Gramm - way overplayed. Nah.

83. Something So Strong, Crowded House - Yay! Great song - loved these guys. They were such saps. lol

84. Heat Of The Night, Bryan Adams - Canada has already apologized for Brian Adams. We've moved on. *snicker*


85. Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You, Glenn Medeiros - a good effort. That's about it.

86. Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen - Although I would have to have been a hermit not to know who Bruce is, I do not remember this song. Must not have been impressed...

87. Just To See Her, Smokey Robinson - groovy

88. Who Will You Run To, Heart - This was a hit? oooh kaay...

89. Respect Yourself, Bruce Willis- Bruce Willis?? He sang? Yikes.

90. Cross My Broken Heart, Jets - bee bop unbearable.

91. Victory, Kool and The Gang - I really couldn't stomach Kool & the Gang. Yuck.

92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders - Cool song. Chrissy was awesome.

93. Doing It All For My Baby, Huey Lewis and The News - middle of the road - not great, not bad.

94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club - Don't remember it. Don't remember them. heh

95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie - don't remember the song, but anything by Lionel was sappy.

96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins - Don't remember this one either. hmmm

97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew - Nice song. Good one to sing along to.

98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys - Woot! Parrr taaay! This was my intro to the Beasties. They kick ass.


99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo - ha ha ha! Won't you take me doooowwn to funkay town! What a fun dance song.

100. Love You Down, Ready For The World - um...drawing a blank here. Must not have made an impact.

***

Well now...wasn't that fun? Which ones are your faves? Which ones did you think were real stinkers? Ahhh...the memories.

September 24, 2005

Compleat

Compleat:
adj.: 1. Of or characterized by a highly developed or wide-ranging skill or proficiency. 2. Being an outstanding example of a kind; quintessential.

Steve Martin

Those two words, the name of one of my favorite people on this earth, bring up so many images in my mind. Bunny ears, arrow through the head, calling card, the jerk, father of the bride, dirty rotten scoundrel, SNL, King Tut, cruel shoes, wild and crazy guy, genius.

He's nice looking, in good shape, smart, financially secure, old enough to be a grown up, but young enough to still have energy. He has interesting work, and the freedom not to be working all the time too. He has dancing ability and a strong feeling for music or art and he obviously loves the movies. ...and he's funny - the perfect man.

Although this time a few days ago I would have told you that there isn't anything I can think of that would make me admire him more, I have to say that this is no longer the case. David Letterman would have proved me wrong.

I rarely stay up late enough for Letterman - I just don't get enough sleep if I do. A few nights ago, however, I was "burning the midnight oil" for no particular reason and it came on. The musical guest for the night was {insert drumroll} Steve Martin. Screech! Um...he's gonna sing or what? Well, little did I know, Steve is quite the musician. He plays the banjo, and he and his band "Men With Banjos (Who Know How to Use Them)" performed. I was blown away. These guys know how to play the banjo and I was surprised not to see smoke coming off their fingers. I knew that he played in those old routines, but I had no idea he was so talented!

Now, I have quite a soft spot for this kind of music since it is what my grandfather played. He was in a band called the "Missouri Travelers" and they performed on the nursing home and senior meal site circuit for years. Grandpa played the fiddle (don't call it a violin!) and played it well. Happily, my mother and I had the foresight to record some of their performances before they disbanded. It's just been these last couple of years that they stopped playing since grandpa has been losing his eyesight. He played with them up until age 90. I even played "second" for him on the piano a few times.

After grandpa "retired" from playing the fiddle, he gave the violin to my mom. A beautiful instrument that she said he'd had as long as she remembers, we were stunned to find the makers mark of "Antonius Stradivarius Cremonensis Faciebat Anno 1889" when we looked it over. I'll be damned.

I digress.

Steve's band was great. I admire him so much for doing something like that as it not only takes a significant amount of talent, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. It warms my heart to see him pickin' and grinnin'.



I hear that an autograph from Steve is a rare thing - he does not give them. When asked, he gives out a card that states "You have had a close encounter with Steve Martin." There's just something so cool about that.

You know, I really could go on and on about Steve, but it's getting quite late and my pillow is calling me. You can read a lot more interesting stuff about him here or here, so I'll leave it at that.

Just know that I completely adore him. *grin*

September 23, 2005

SASF v.9.23 - fuh fuh fuh Friday

...that's Short Attention Span Friday for those of you who have no idea what SASF is.

I really have just kind of a random collection of strange crap here today - no theme, just the typical wierdness that normally makes up SASF.

Yep...wierdness such as this:

WTF? lol

...and this just cracked me up!


***
Well, I knew they were nutty, but...

From Yahoo News: Psychopaths Could Be Best Financial Traders

LONDON (Reuters) - "Wanted: psychopaths to make a killing in the markets."
Such an advert will not be appearing in the world's newspapers any time soon, but it may have a ring of truth after research revealed the best wheeler-dealers could well be psychopaths.

A team of U.S. scientists has found the emotionally impaired are more willing to gamble for high stakes and that people with brain damage may make good financial decisions, the Times newspaper reported Monday.

In a study of investors' behavior, 41 people with normal IQs were asked to play a simple investment game. Fifteen of the group had suffered lesions on the areas of the brain that affect emotions. The result was those with brain damage outperformed those without. The scientists found emotions led some of the group to avoid risks even when the potential benefits far outweighed the losses, a phenomenon known as myopic loss aversion.

One of the researchers, Antione Bechara, an associate professor of neurology at the University of Iowa, said the best stock market investors might plausibly be called "functional psychopaths."

Fellow author, Baba Shiv of Stanford Graduate School of Business said many company chiefs and top lawyers may also show they share the same trait.

"Emotions serve an adaptive role in speeding up the decision-making process," said Shiv. "However, there are circumstances in which a naturally occurring emotional response must be inhibited, so that a deliberate and potentially wiser decision can be made."

Go figure. heh heh

***
Farmer Cheese

This little ditty made me giggle like oh, hell, it made me laugh my ass off. Thanks, Serra, for linking it. (Starts out kinda corny, but it gets funnier as it goes along)

I'm a Cow

***
Ewwwww

Here is a lovely little collection of triva-type information for your enjoyment.
Some topics discussed:
"Of men, mosquitos and stinky Dutch toe cheese"
"Why do dogs eat their own poop?"
"Native American tobacco pipe grub beetle drilling method"
"A quart of mucus a day keeps the heebies at bay"

Things That Make You Go Ewwww

***
Not so Wierd but Quite Fascinating

Check this out...google maps zooms in on New Orleans. You can navigate by clicking and dragging to see satellite images of many parts of the city which are still flooded. A bit ethereal, but very interesting.

***
What Were They Thinking?

Some towns just have some wierd freakin' names. It must be strange to live there. Can all of those people possibly say their town names (like when placing a phone order) and keep a straight face?

(Side note - damn, I love wikipedia.)

Some of the ones that made me giggle:
Cut n' Shoot, Texas (where's W?)
Assawoman, Virginia (the grown up version of Assagirl!)
River Styx, Ohio (merrily floating along to end up at...)
Hells Gate, Georgia
Hornytown, North Carolina (the possibilities are endless)
Pity Me, County Durham, England (oh, I do. lol)
Humptulips, Washington (hey, don't do that to the tulips!)
No Name, Colorado (someone feeling not-so-creative that day, eh?)

***
Adorable

Good for many a giggle, I would love to know the story behind this. I knew Jean Luc could sing, but...

***
Bow Before Me!

You are the Minister of Silly Walks...Dare to be different!
You are the Minister of Silly Walks

What Monty Python Sketch Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

***
Y'all have a nice weekend, ya hear?
(Oh, and cross your fingers and toes for our friends down on the Gulf coast. I am.)

September 21, 2005

Poor, Poor Pluto

In planetary news from our solar system, it seems that Santa and Easterbunny will be replacing Pluto in our lineup. Poor Pluto! What did he ever do to be treated like this?

Like so many planets, Pluto is named for a Roman god, in this case the god of the underworld. Uranus is not, as many might think, the God of childish humor - he is instead the god of the heavens and the husband of the earth and the father of the Titans. Uranus was castrated and dethroned by his own son, Kronos (ouch!) Astronomy is fun if you know how to look at it.

Pluto is the farthest planet from the sun, and beyond Pluto is the Kuiper Belt, where the comets come from. As the telescopes have grown more powerful, scientists (who, by the way, could be spending time exploring the origins of the universe instead of mucking about in the Kuiper Belt) have discovered objects larger than Pluto.

So we have to ask the question: If these things are larger than Pluto, why are they not planets? They revolve around the sun, they're made of rock... I didn't think the rules for entering the planet club are not all that strict.

The first object beyond Pluto (and bigger than Pluto) was named Xena, after the warrior princess played on television by Lucy Lawless. You want a benchmark of the decline of classical education in this country? There it is. It's not as though all the Roman Gods were taken -- Pomona is a Roman god. Wouldn't it be nice to have a planet named Pomona? ...But if you find it, you name it - that's the rule.

So then scientists discovered two more objects beyond Pluto. They called these objects Santa and Easterbunny. Honest! Since it is likely that there are many more planet-sized objects in the Kuiper Belt, we're soon going to have to deal with planets named Sneezy and Jackbauer.

You see the dilemma. Unless we want our kids to fester in a stew of cognitive dissonance, we're going to have to add a whole bunch of new planets. Alternatively, we're going to have to lose Pluto, declaring that anything beyond the orbit of Uranus does not qualify no matter how big and flashy it is. Uranus is the end of the solar system. Oh, shut up.

OK, Neptune is farther out from the sun than Uranus, but where's the fun in that? Let me take a moment to mention that Santa, unlike proper planets, is shaped like a cigar and tumbles end over end around the sun. Thank heavens Santa didn't develop an atmosphere, or we'd be looking at some very strange life forms. Besides, what kind of science fiction movie would that make? "We come from the planet you call Santa." That would to ruin a lot of Christmases.

As for aliens from Easterbunny - the thought is unbearable. It's as though Adolf Hitler had been renamed Sparkle Twinkletoes. Names are too important to be left to astronomers, particularly astronomers with perhaps a small substance abuse problem like the folks on the Kuiper Belt beat.

I certainly like the name "Sparkle Twinkletoes" better than freakin' Easterbunny! lol

September 20, 2005

Whistling for Trigger

You know, two weeks ago I felt like I couldn't come up with anything good to post to save my damned life. Now, it's like the floodgates have been opened and I have a plethora of ideas all hopping about urging "pick me, pick me!". At this very moment I have three completely different topics simply begging to have a post written about them - the expansion of our solar system & the f'ed up names astronomers are giving new planets (nearly done and eluded to in SASF), songs from the 80s, horse racing and golf... how to choose? I think I'll choose D. None of the Above. heh

What in the world makes a persons inner writer wax and wane like that? Next time I find myself in a rut, I need to know what the trigger is that makes it end!

My life, the perpetual roller coaster ride that it is, has been spinning and turning at a higher rate than normal, and the g-forces are starting to wear at my soul. I think I need a vacation.

This past weekend I experienced...

The joy and simultaneous frustration of a parent watching their wee one play/not play in a soccer game

Disbelief, horror and amazement at the accusations and conspiracy theories rising from the ruins of New Orleans

Shaking my head at the brilliance and amusement which is the new Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie (it's brilliant - see it!)

Enchantment of twiddling the toes of my friends' beautiful newborn baby girl.

Pain caused by the bitter, nasty words sputtered through a veil of alcohol.

Anxiety when pondering an important birthday this week for which I am completely unprepared.

Wonder and love while watching my little one delight in one of the biggest parades we've ever seen. The occasion? ...our neighborhood fall festival. 117 entries in the parade. I love our neighborhood.

Exhaustion and the relief of being allowed to "fall out" and sleep for 13 hours straight.

Disgust at the mess made of our bathroom after a stumbling-drunk night of hell. He cleans up his own puke, thankyouverymuch.

Disappointment as one of my favorite bands performed here in town and I could not get tickets.

Admiration of the brilliance that is "Only" by Nine Inch Nails. Funny how, when you google some of those lyrics, you get self-help websites. LMAO.

(there was a video of "only" here, but it was a bandwidth sucking monster. lol)

Wonder at watching the D-man's artistic talent with a new set of colored pencils unveiling itself.

Anger and frustration with the dog who stole my damned steak right off the table and wolfed it down in record time. bitch. first time she's done that and it had to be a ribeye! gah!

Delight at the discovery of Seattle Chocolates "Skinny Truffles" - low carb, sugar free chocolate decadence. What's better than pleasure without guilt?

Frustration with the rats nests in my hair that makes me want to CUT IT even though I know I would regret it. Why would someone create and market a leave-in conditioner that CAUSES rats nests? Garnier Fructis? bite me.

Elation at having the opportunity to give some of D's things to a little 5 year old boy who lost his home to Katrina. Relief and pride at the fact that he's happy to share.

Awe at the gorgeous, huge, full moon.

Amazement at myself and the spectrum of traits that make me, like so many of us, such a complicated being - caring, sentient, tough, patient, kind, loving, frustrated, inquisitive, sarcastic, contemplative, stressed, curious, broad-minded, creative and ...well, complicated.


Perhaps ALL of these things are the trigger. Life is absolutely amazing.

September 19, 2005

Come On In

...have a seat. It's nice to see you. Would you like a cup of coffee?

It's been quite a weekend. We need to talk. What shall we talk about? Well, how about intimacy - something that has been missing in my life.

Intimacy. The state of being intimate, innermost, essential. Honesty. Sexual relations. Ability to make commitments to others and to love. Erikson's sixth stage of human psychosocial development: intimacy vs. isolation.

But here's the catch: if you choose isolation, you will die.

...and here's the reassurance on the heels of that warning: if you are reading these words, you have already chosen intimacy. Perhaps there is a thread of passion between us.

I am crouched here in the glow of my computer screen whispering, writing, fashioning my story, and you are listening. Maybe if I put my worst face forward, I can scare you away. I find sunsets boring. Housework? I never do it. I don't own a hairbrush. Even small crowds make me nervous. Yes, you'll have to get used to my cussing. What possessed you to buy those shoes?

Look, I can be mean. I am crazy, weak, bitter, and blind.

No, wait! Come back. I can be courageous, too. Yes, I can even be kind - kinder than the softest touch that brushes away a tear.

Follow me. There's no need to mention the ripped screen door. I know, I've been meaning to fix it. Just keep walking. I'll show you my unwritten books, withdrawal symptoms, scarred lungs, the chemical remnants of antidepressants, my secret penchant for little boxes & cut out pictures, the scars from when I was attacked. ...and there's your jacket--the one you left on my floor 10 years ago.

Hush, I already know there's a name for this, a diagnosis, a fitting song, a website, a 12-step program. ...but I don't want any of those things. I just want inside.

Maybe we can find a comfortable spot here between memory and possibility - shuck the bitterness and only keep the good. We can pick things apart over warm saki. I'll pour yours if you'll pour mine. Can I get you anything? Put on a favorite song? I'm glad you came. Just, please, leave no more behind than you can help me sort through. Please tell me your stories of unsimple undertakings, severed relations, the tantrums you threw because you were stuck. Show me the paths marked by acupuncture needles, the hole in your heart, the unnamed streets that cut a labyrinth through the subdivision of custom homes. We'll trace our way back through that neighborhood if you like.

You'll forgive me, won't you, when your favorite songs make me cringe? They remind me why I wanted so badly to stay a long time ago. Put on something else and I'll follow you now. I'll wear white like the bright bone of my promise. I'll speak in whispers, then wear blue and blend into the dusk. After the light has gone, I'll walk tall and wear red so the blood won't show.

I won't be lying when I whisper I think you're beautiful.

I won't abuse the power if you won't.

I'll call your bluff if you'll call mine.

I'll trust you, even if you do not trust me.

Remember, if you choose isolation, you will die. ...but it's still tempting. Sign off, close the window, tell all your friends it was the other one who got scared. It'll be back.

Here I'd imagined it was selfishness that was driving you all these years. Should we be relieved or horrified to discover that it was in fact fear?

These interior cities and subway tunnels are earthly places. How long can we stay? I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine.

September 17, 2005

Black

As the walls are closing in
And the colors fade to black
And my eyes are falling fast and deep into me
I will follow the tracks that lead me down
for I never follow what's right
They wonder sometimes when they see all the
Sadness and pain the truth brings to light

'Cause I can't see no reason
What is blind cannot see
'Cause I want what is pleasing
All I take should be free

If I cried me a river of all my confessions
Would I drown in my shallow regret?

As the walls are closing in
And the colors fade to black
And the night is falling fast and deep into the West
In the darkness all that I can see
The frightened and the weak
Are forced to cling to mistakes they know nothing of
At mercy are the meek

September 16, 2005

SASF v.9.16 - the WTF Files

...that's Short Attention Span Friday for those of you who have no idea what SASF is. I'm NOT going to explain to you what WTF stands for. *snicker*

A big thank you goes out to the most awesome Denny for providing me with today's musical entertainment. You rock, Denny my man. :)

I run across some pretty wierd and crazy stuff in my travels around the 'net. That might have a little to do with some of the communities that I am member of (like Live Journal's "WTF Inc.") and the wierdness seems to be quite plentiful this week. Hell, it was even seeping through here (with me becoming the self-proclaimed acorn queen - btw, my army is almost ready. heh heh). I thought I would share several more points of peculiarity with you today.

***
"M" is for Mystery

My calendar says that today is Independence Day for M. Anyone know who/what the heck M stands for? That's been a head scratcher for a few days now...

***
Toilet Humor

My son, now 4 years old, has a firm grasp on the hilarity of bathroom humor. He refers much too often to "poopie" and farts and...the list goes on. As annoying as this can be, it is a fact that this stuff can be rather funny. Some say it's just a phase, but I know for a fact that many NEVER grow out of it.

Case in Point: Doodie Man

Ok. Yeah, I admit that I giggled like a dork. #9 - "annihilate" is my favorite.
I will NOT be showing this to the D man. Well, on second thought... lol

***
Speaking of Giggling

The combination of creative imagination, too much time on one's hands, and perhaps some of what the astronomers were smoking can be disasterous!

Exhibit B: Skeletor vs. Beastman

These rude, obnoxious freaks have outdone themselves. I warn you, it's impolite, quite vulgar and a bit obscene, but I laughed and shook my head throughout the entire thing. Unless you're quite easily offended, it's worth a peek.

***
Just Plain Wierd

What the hell is going on here?

...and do I really want to know?

Someone should point out to them that flotation devices should be worn BELOW your mouth and nose. ...and is that zinc oxide? Oh, never mind.

Ha ha ha ha ha! The original URL for this pic is on "pointlesswasteoftime.com" - should be more like "pointlessuseofbandwidth.com" lol

***
Peep Much?

This is kind of fun (for a minute or two, anyway). Move your mouse pointer around to use your xray vision. heh (even though it's cartoony, it's not particularly safe for work)

***
Patriotism to an Extreme

Those of you who have seen "Team America: World Police" are familiar with it's lovely theme song. Well, some creative, patriotic individuals have made a music video out of it.

Here it is in all it's glory.

I'm touched. I nearly wet myself when the "american cat" attacked. lol

Hey, kinda sounds like Freedom Rock! Crank it up, dude!

***
Dude's Got Issues


Heh. Posted this pic just for you, Archmage. *chomp*

This guy has hair issues. Serious hair issues. ...or maybe not so serious. He likes variety. ...and colors. Do you think he craves attention? lol

Actually, I REALLY like the fire one...


***
Springer Outdone

There are talk show fights (like you often see on Jerry Springer) and then there are TALK SHOW FIGHTS. This one is better than anything I've ever seen on Springer. Jeebus!

***
Bring It!

This girl is one tough cookie! This guy chose the WRONG girl to try to steal a purse from. Woot! You go, girl!

***
Think When you Name Your Domain

...and think hard. What seems to you to be a perfectly legitimate domain name can be misconstrued. Boy howdy, can it!

ChooseSpain.com or ChoosesPain.com
GraphicArtsExchange.com or GraphicArtSexChange.com
ScaTissue.com or ScatIssue.com
WhoRepresents.com or WhorePresents.com
TherapistFinder.com or TheRapistFinder.com
PenIsland.net or PenisLand.net

More Here

***
Well, that's all for today, folks. Next Post: Pluto getting the shaft from Santa and Easterbunny.


Have a great weekend!

September 15, 2005

Bell Rings On First Day of UN Summit

UN Headquarters- The first day of the UN summit has been an exciting day for all the new delegates and the returning ones. All the leaders came together, wearing their new Summit clothes and carrying new pencils, notebooks, and other supplies. UN watchers have been reporting on the interactions between the leaders and speculations of new friendships this year.

One of the biggest stories is President Bush asking Condoleezza Rice for permission to use the bathroom. She responded by telling Bush to raise his hand and ask the Secretary-General for permission. Mr Annan gave him a pass, but told him not to horse around in the hall and to remember to wash his hands. Hall monitor Switzerland, chosen for it's neutral stance, said George dawdled a little to look at some art, but went straight to the bathroom and came out three minutes later. Switzerland had to remind George to go back in and wash his hands.


Bolton and Condi look so proud. He finally learned to ask permission instead of going in his pants

Several nations showed up late, including China, attributed to trouble parking, Mexico because the hole in the fence had been repaired, and Ireland because it had a hangover from the night before.

There has been a bit of bullying that worried some UN administrators. Brazil was seen teasing the nations of Paraguay and Uruguay, taunting them with "Look at the two Guays. You going to have a guay marriage in Massachusetts?" A lot of EU nations were seen making fun of Poland for being dumb after answering a question wrong.

There was some concern that rogue nations North Korea and Iran were planning something after they were spotted smoking behind the dumpster with their switchblade knives pulled out. Afghanistan and Columbia were nearby, possibly arranging a trade of cocaine and heroin.

Romance seems to be in the air also. Canada was seen flirting with New Zealand, though some speculate the long distance relationship might not work. The Czech Republic and Slovakia, who broke up in 1993, have been seen flirting, with Belgium expecting a possible reunion. France is reported to have already been involved with Italy. France was overheard speaking to Spain, saying "Et ezz true...Big Boot, Big Deeck".

Meanwhile Britain, always the overachiever, has already arranged a spirit meeting, ran a food drive for the homeless, and read all the chapters of the UN reform proposal. A few slacker countries, like Russia and Albania, have been asking Britain if it will do the homework for them.

After taking the UN class of 2005 photo all the countries went outside for recess. More details after the kickball game.


THE UN CLASS PHOTO. Closer examination shows that Nigeria is making a funny face and Syria is giving Israel "bunny ears". ...and who's that brazen hussy down front in the red?

September 14, 2005

All Work and No Post Makes Celti's Blog Boring

Dang work is keeping me too busy to blog again. Grrrr.

So, I'll post a cool story that a blogger buddy sent to me yesterday...

***

King Arthur and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one toot h, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered, is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that, since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?

If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

:D

September 13, 2005

'scuse me?

I'd like to introduce you to one of my most loyal subjects:


Now, straighten your hat and wipe that silly-ass grin off your face! What is your major malfunction!? Oh! Sorry...talking to 'corny here.

This guy whapped me on the head the other day, so I jammed him in my pocket. He covorted with my lip balm until he fell out in the lazy boy later on. Lexi carried him around in her mouth for a while. I investigated what she might be snacking on and rescued him from the jaws of despair so he is forever in my debt.

He and one million of his relatives have invaded my back yard, so I created my own acorn kingdom and I am Queen! I shall rule over him and his cohorts with a firm boot heel, aided by my viscious fur-minion Lexi and my blonde haired monkey who can launch them into oblivion should they escape the boot heel after disobeying my commands. Crunch!

muaaaahahahaha!

September 11, 2005

Neener Neener

You know how some things just make you smile? ...warm your heart?

Oh, how I love Karma.

Remember psycho bitch? The idiot who's freakout caused me to practically have my ass ran over? Well, guess where her happy ass landed on Wednesday night?



In jail. That's right - behind bars. Apparently, the little gutter-snipe did something to violate her probation. I hate it that they don't put down what they actually did for the violation.

I have a "wall of shame" in my computer room. It's color prints of all the mugshots from idiots I know/have known who's butts have landed in jail for whatever reason. It reminds me to keep my own respective tush out of trouble. She's going on there...oooooh, yeah. Her pic just might even get enlarged a bit.

She's still there. Gawd, I wish I could go down there and taunt her through the bars. Am I bad? heh heh

September 09, 2005

SASF v.9.9

...that's Short Attention Span Friday for those of you who have no idea what SASF is. :)

Jeez! It's been a crazy week. I may be late, but you know I wouldn't let you down, now...
***
Groovy Cybertoy

Dancer w/out a Body
Give it a minute to load - it's pretty derned fun to play with. ...that is, if you don't have anything better to do...like work your ass off. lol Yeah, I found this before this week went nuts.

***
Yam it Up

Yahoo! is taking votes for their "Yahoo! Video Search Awards" again. If nothing else, the Yammy page is a cool place to find some funny and interesting videos on-line. The categories are: Pets, I Can't Believe It, Bloopers, Road Trips, and Office Humor.

It's interesting because some of the "contestants" are just crap. Who picks these things? I think this one is my fave of the lot: Road Dancer

***
Speaking of Nothing Better to Do...

Mr. & Mrs. Wheatley of the UK make some pretty silly videos. This one, however, struck a chord with me. You know...the chord I hear in my head when an annoying coworker just needs to be brought down. Where do I get me one of these? lol

***
Yes, You Can Quote Me on That

For those who are fond of quotes, I offer Quoteland, purveyors of an impressive collection of quotes, sorted by topic or author so you can find what you're looking for. There are some really sweet ones in here, such as...

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -Michelangelo Buonarroti

***
Seriously Now, Folks

This is a very interesting article on opinions from around the world on the Katrina disaster and how it was/is being handled. "Don't think the rest of the world - not just stunned Americans and even some conservative American reporters and commentators who have long served as George W. Bush's loyal mouthpieces - failed to notice the president's inadequate response to Hurricane Katrina's devastation. What foreign observers witnessed from afar, with a combination of shock and awe: "sheer, maddening incompetence, from both the (notoriously corrupt) state authorities and from Washington."

I think we all want to know - What the hell went wrong?


Hmmm...media blooper or catching on to something?

***
Much Needed GOOD News from Katrina

Meet Deamonte Love. This little 6 year old boy was separated from his mother when he and the other children were loaded onto a helicopter leaving no room for their mothers. Though it's unknown how he ended up in the chaos of a crowded New Orleans street full of desperate people, he led five other smaller children and carried a 5-month-old, to help. They were all holding hands - three children of about 2 years old, a 3-year-old girl, and her 14-month-old brother.

He told the rescuers his name, and that the 5-month-old was his brother, Darynael. Two others were his cousins, and the other three lived in his apartment building. They were all in remarkably good condition.

Through the help of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's website, they were reunited with their mothers who were in a shelter in San Antonio.

Great job, Deamonte! Sounds like a future leader to me.

***
An Old Fave with a New Twist - Shrubbery!

A while back on one of these Friday posts, I linked a cool cybertoy where a girl was falling through a bunch of bubbles and you could control her movements. Well, it seems that someone has taken a little liberty with that. Check out the revised version, now even MORE fun to play with. lol

***
Marketing Mayhem

I love commercials. Although they rarely sway me to purchase whatever they are peddling, some of them are just downright brilliant and some of them are damned funny, like these:

Well Hung Pool Stud

Car Bait

Agent Provacateur

Coffee Rage

New Video Phone

Braveheart Sheep

We all need some laughs!

***
Crafty for Katrina Victims

While pondering what I can do to help, I decided that I'm going to donate all of the proceeds from the sale of my barrettes to the Hurricaine Katrina relief efforts. You can find them over here. I'll be updating that site with details soon.

***
You all have a wonderful weekend and be good to each other.

September 07, 2005

buh...buh...buh...

I feel like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. You wouldn't understand if you haven't seen it...

The last few days have been so busy it's making my brain hurt. Things have been going crazy at work, and I've been barely keeping my head above water. I haven't read one person's blog today. That's right. None. Gah!

Oh, and the little wizard is gone. Yep. I axed him. He was just too annoying. Bye Merlin. Ciao.

I've been wanting to post about the weekend, about D's first soccer game, about my barrette sales... I've been thinking about a post about Bob Denver, also known as Gilligan, who passed away a few days ago. I grew up watching Gilligan's Island after school. Loved that show, loved him. I've been thinking about posting about this, and this, and that, the Celtic webring I joined, the sweet deals I scored on ebay... I've been wanting to post about New Orleans and how frightening it is to see how truly unprepared this country is to handle a crisis. ...but I haven't had time. Gah!

Lovisa, if you're reading, how are you doing honey? You ok? How's Erich?

I just got home from D's soccer practice & got dinner. Now, I need to empty the dishwasher, give D a bath, go to the store and get dog food, take a shower, and get all my crap ready for tomorrow since I have an off-site meeting all day. I had to go buy 20 frames for the awards I made, get them put in the frames, make checkoff lists, prepare Power Point presentations for the President and do my regular work.

I need a drink. Hmmm...I think I have the makings for White Russians...

Tomorrow should be amusing, though. I get to go play golf for the first time. Yep. Real golf, not mini-golf. Big golf. I know I can putt, but my drives just might land about anywhere in the hemisphere I'm aiming at. I'm going to request a bucket of balls, because I'll be dipped if I'm going to chase all of them down. I'll report in as to how horribly pathetic well I do. No pressure, though...nah. I'll just be playing with the freaking president and all of the management on their tab. That is, after we have our steak-fry lunch. On their tab. *grins* Did I mention that it's all on their tab? ...and I get paid for the afternoon as if I were working? ...so tomorrow I'll be on a golf course with a belly full of steak and being paid by the hour for it.

*grins* Yeah, it will all be just fine.

September 04, 2005

Has Anyone Seen My Druthers?

Hey, troops. How do y'all like my new little friend, Merlin? Well, Celti needs a little help with the pop-up wiz.

I don't want to ditch him because I really like him, but it annoys me that he pops up every time the page refreshes or on the comments page. He's built with Javascript, but I don't know how to make him only do an intro. Apparently, some people who have pop-up blockers running can't see him. I have a pop-up blocker at home that lets him through, but blocks some people's haloscan comments from coming up. Go figure.

If anyone reading might happen to have any ideas, I would be elated if you would share. You can right click and "hide" him, but I'd rather just have him show up on the first load, if possible. I know just enough about javascript to be dangerous. lol

Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday weekend (US folks, anyway - which isn't to say that I don't wish my non-usa blog friends a nice weekend, I'm just saying...never mind. lol). *poink*

September 02, 2005

SASF v.9.2 - Slugday

...that's Short Attention Span Friday for those of you who have no idea what the hell SASF is. :)

Things are moving a little sluggishly around here - so sorry. Celti has been sick. I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday. I have a nasty sinus infection. I'll spare you the details - let's just say it's been miserable. Z-pack to the rescue!

***
What the Hell are you Looking For?

It's another edition of "Fun or Wierd Search Hits that Brought People Here!"

"satanic soy crisp" ā€“ google # 27, from a notorious SASF of days gone by.

"pics of sexy men in tight underwear with big bulges" - Yahoo - # 7, bwaaahahaha! You won't find any of those here. So sorry to disappoint. lol

"eyeball army" - google # 3, *snicker*

"naked celtic girl" - hee hee hee! Well, she's celtic and sometimes nekkid, but you won't see pics here! Keep looking!

***
The Stella Awards

Similar to the beloved Darwin Awards, the Stella Awards are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck. She's the lovely lady who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's for an obscene amount of money. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are the latest winners:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little toddler was Ms Robertson's son.

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He survived on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners' insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

Top honors go to Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motorhome. On her first trip, (to a OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals because of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Man! What I want is the name of their attorneys!

***
Stamped with Dr. Phil's Approval?

This sounds like something TV psychologist "Dr. Phil" would have a field day talking about on his show - his 26-year-old son, Jay McGraw, is engaged to a former Playboy playmate triplet. Erica Dahm, 27, and her two sisters posed nude together in Playboy in December 1998.

McGraw gave her a five-carat diamond, emerald and platinum engagement ring that he designed on Aug. 26. No wedding date has been set yet. Jay McGraw told syndicated TV show "The Insider" that he asked Dahm's father for her hand first.

The couple will wed in Los Angeles. Jay McGraw is a best-selling author of his own self-help books - including "Closing the Gap" and "The Ultimate Weight Solution for Teens."

No, I don't know which one she is. *rolls eyes*

***
One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Vat-Grown Protein-Fiber

This article and this website provide information on how, in a few short years, we should be able to grow any amount of meat we wish. Yes, grow. This can be done with no loss of flavor or texture, in industrial-quantity laboratory-style vats, with no animals having to suffer or be killed and the chemistry adjusted to make it heart-healthy as well.

Robert Heinlein predicted it, the original Star Trek predicted it, and now it's looming on the horizon here in the second half of the first decade of the 21st century.

We may still get our jet packs and flying cars yet. In the meantime, I'll just my use my flip-open communicator cellular speaker-phone to call somebody and tell them about this...after I eat my steak.

***
Salad Fingers!

A while back, I posted links to the first of the Salad Fingers series of cartoons. Well, I guess you could call them cartoons, but they're not for kids. They're just plain freaking twisted. But, if you like that kind of thing, you'll be happy to hear that there's a NEW EPISODE! Episode six is now on the 'net. It's pretty vile. lol

***
Speaking of Vile

I've spent a lot of the last couple of days reading about and looking at images from New Orleans and the area. What a horrifying disgrace. Looters and hooligans are shooting other people and taking everything they can float or carry, shots are going off all over, fires are being set and can't be extinguished, dead bodies are laying in the streets (or floating) people are suffering from the heat, starving and dying of thirst - it's complete mayhem.

A sad realization is that I know how much the media glosses over things and makes them "acceptable" for public viewing, so things have to be much worse than what we are seeing. It saddens and sickens me.

One thing that I can't seem to get out of my head is that, rather than stories of good will and heros, we are seeing stories of all that I mentioned above. While I am sure that there is a lot of helping going on, what the hell is wrong with these people? They're shooting at the helicopters that are there to HELP them! They are displaying some of the most uncivilized and reprehensible behavior there is. I am ashamed of the fact that the rest of the world, those who are already looking down at us with disapproval, are seeing this and that it is most likely confirming what they already thought of us.

My heart goes out to all of the people affected by this tragedy in hopes that they will find safety and all that they need. My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones and/or their homes. May they all find peace.


***
Blogger Wasteland

The other day, at work, I was bored. All my work was caught up, I had gone through my entire blogroll ā€“ I had nothing to do. This is quite a rare thing! So, I decided to try the little "next blog" button thingy and see what Iā€™d run across.

Although there were some good blogs out there, the majority of what I ran across was a vast wasteland of bullshit pages.

I found incredible shit with titles like "My Blog" or "John's Blog." How original.
I found a self-proclaimed "artist" with the plainest, most generic blog I think I've ever seen: http://artistmarie. blogspot.com/
I found mindless drivel with cool designs: http://lingzerbase. blogspot.com/
I found bogus e-commerce robot generated nightmares such as: http://cameravenue.blogspot.com/
I found indecipherable crap such as: http://waitinfor-u-in-mylife. blogspot.com/
What in the hell is this football shit? http://doyles-poker-sportsbook7d0. blogspot.com/
I found things (like pictures) that made me go "hmmmm": http://cerejasmaduras. blogspot.com/
...and things that made me go "yuck!": http://getanimed. blogspot.com/
...and things that made me go "WTF?": http://nashaislem. blogspot.com/

Now, mind you, I am aware that I didn't link the blogs mentioned above. This was done on purpose as I don't want these individuals tracking the link back to here to find me bashing their blogs. They're just examples, so copy and paste them into your browser if you want to check them out, s'il vous plait.

***
The Uncyclopedia!

I'll let the website's informational overview give you a taste of what you'll find here:

"Welcome to the Uncyclopedia! If you're here, you've probably found us through some blog, or other variety site, and have stumbled on to the Main Page with the intent of contributing to our giant mass of misinformation to add to the even larger mass of porn and other misinformation called the Internet. If not, then you've been sent here by an admin for an error in judgment or lack of sanity. Either way, we're glad you're here and reading this.

This is the fucking n00b's Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian. It is probably one of the few serious semi-serious pages here, only by virtue of the fact that we need to balance out pages like Kitten Huffing, i burning your dog, and other insane crap, lest we fall off of the wikicity upon which we've precariously perched ourselves.

More importantly, this page is an essential guide for the unacquainted wishing to become non-banned valuable members of our demented, fundamentalist, cult. delightfully sane community."

Fact is discouraged, comedy is paramount - and I laughed so hard, I snorted.

***
Y'all have a peachy weekend. *smooch* HA HA - now you have my sicky germs. lol

Who Links Here