September 15, 2005

Bell Rings On First Day of UN Summit

UN Headquarters- The first day of the UN summit has been an exciting day for all the new delegates and the returning ones. All the leaders came together, wearing their new Summit clothes and carrying new pencils, notebooks, and other supplies. UN watchers have been reporting on the interactions between the leaders and speculations of new friendships this year.

One of the biggest stories is President Bush asking Condoleezza Rice for permission to use the bathroom. She responded by telling Bush to raise his hand and ask the Secretary-General for permission. Mr Annan gave him a pass, but told him not to horse around in the hall and to remember to wash his hands. Hall monitor Switzerland, chosen for it's neutral stance, said George dawdled a little to look at some art, but went straight to the bathroom and came out three minutes later. Switzerland had to remind George to go back in and wash his hands.

Bolton and Condi look so proud. He finally learned to ask permission instead of going in his pants

Several nations showed up late, including China, attributed to trouble parking, Mexico because the hole in the fence had been repaired, and Ireland because it had a hangover from the night before.

There has been a bit of bullying that worried some UN administrators. Brazil was seen teasing the nations of Paraguay and Uruguay, taunting them with "Look at the two Guays. You going to have a guay marriage in Massachusetts?" A lot of EU nations were seen making fun of Poland for being dumb after answering a question wrong.

There was some concern that rogue nations North Korea and Iran were planning something after they were spotted smoking behind the dumpster with their switchblade knives pulled out. Afghanistan and Columbia were nearby, possibly arranging a trade of cocaine and heroin.

Romance seems to be in the air also. Canada was seen flirting with New Zealand, though some speculate the long distance relationship might not work. The Czech Republic and Slovakia, who broke up in 1993, have been seen flirting, with Belgium expecting a possible reunion. France is reported to have already been involved with Italy. France was overheard speaking to Spain, saying "Et ezz true...Big Boot, Big Deeck".

Meanwhile Britain, always the overachiever, has already arranged a spirit meeting, ran a food drive for the homeless, and read all the chapters of the UN reform proposal. A few slacker countries, like Russia and Albania, have been asking Britain if it will do the homework for them.

After taking the UN class of 2005 photo all the countries went outside for recess. More details after the kickball game.

THE UN CLASS PHOTO. Closer examination shows that Nigeria is making a funny face and Syria is giving Israel "bunny ears". ...and who's that brazen hussy down front in the red?


  1. I totally thought your title read "Belly Rings On First Day of UN Summit"

    Imagine my surprise when I looked at the pictures. :lol:

  2. Y'know, first I thought you'd drafted one of the best parodies of news photos I've read in ages...then I saw the Reuters photo.


  3. I loved the pee pee picture.

    How's the D-man? Still coughing?

    I like Dimetap. It knocks the boys right out. Mommy likes knocked out boys!

  4. He found his way to the bathroom! Way to go GW!

    Yeah, I spent most of my formative years doing homework for albanians.

  5. Oh man, that had me laughing out loud in my kitchen. I'm SO GLAD I didn't read that at work! HILARIOUS!

  6. So that's why the shrub was squirming in his seat!!!! Here I thought he was worrying over policy or something! LOL

  7. Oh. My. God.

    Celti, you've outdone yourself. Thanks for the first morning laugh, girl!