September 13, 2005

'scuse me?

I'd like to introduce you to one of my most loyal subjects:


Now, straighten your hat and wipe that silly-ass grin off your face! What is your major malfunction!? Oh! Sorry...talking to 'corny here.

This guy whapped me on the head the other day, so I jammed him in my pocket. He covorted with my lip balm until he fell out in the lazy boy later on. Lexi carried him around in her mouth for a while. I investigated what she might be snacking on and rescued him from the jaws of despair so he is forever in my debt.

He and one million of his relatives have invaded my back yard, so I created my own acorn kingdom and I am Queen! I shall rule over him and his cohorts with a firm boot heel, aided by my viscious fur-minion Lexi and my blonde haired monkey who can launch them into oblivion should they escape the boot heel after disobeying my commands. Crunch!

muaaaahahahaha!

22 comments:

  1. He's cute!

    But you have serious issues.

    It's why I love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow. I found an acorn yesterday and just stuck in on my altar. Now I'm wondering if it's insulted that I didn't free his inner oak by painting a face on him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. All hail Queen Celti!

    Remember to walk softly and carry a big stick. And don't forget to USE the big stick. Motivators don't work if left hanging on the wall or in the closet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. All hail HRH Celti!

    I'm so jealous right now. All my bacyard yields is pears. While they are yummy, they rot after a while and therefore make lousy subjects.

    I do enjoy bossing them around until they give their life for a dessert though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. HA! That's just funny.

    I used to command over my muscle man and pewter figures too.

    All Hail the Queen!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Queen Celti! I'd genuflect but I'd probably get stuck.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like living in your backyard, it's fun.

    *CLONK*

    ReplyDelete
  8. You gave him feet! I love that you gave him feet!

    ReplyDelete
  9. HAHAHAHA! Julie--> "Free His Inner Oak".

    Hahahahahah!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've got a 3 pound sledge for your miscreants - heh, heh!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Some people have all the luck... I don't even have a back yard to find my nuts. Wait, that didn't sound right, did it?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now I thought that anyone willing to follow me had to be nuts--nice to see I'm in good company! :)

    My folks' home had a ton of oak trees around, so I grew up having to rake up hundreds of your fellow followers...along with their arch nemeses the Gumball people (and no, I don't mean the chewable kind--these suckers HOIT when ya step on dem!)--this post kinda brought back memories...

    ReplyDelete
  13. The crackings will continue until morale improves!!! There's you a motto oh Queen Celti. Gawl, that's got a nice ring to it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Don't forget to rule with a fair hand, lest they decide to to cast off the oak of oppression.

    (btw - i didn't mean anything by that comment on your last post - sometimes my buddy tanqueray gets the better of me!)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jamie - thanks. Yeah, yeah, I know...lol

    Julie - Oh, I doubt it. Free him if it feels right. LOL

    Vince - You're absolutely right. lol

    Pete - mmmm, pears taste much better than acorns. Acorn pudding, anyone?

    Pup - Used to? lol

    E-Lo - you're excused from bending yourself. *snicker*

    Sloth - Glad you like it! *stomp*

    Jeanette - they don't stand up to well without them. :)

    Aimee - yeah, that was a good one!

    Seamus - shall I deem you "the disciplinarian?" *snicker*

    Denny - at least you don't have to mow. lol Mow your nuts. ha ha ha ha ha!

    Spc - hey stranger! ;) We didn't have oaks growing up and now I think I know why. Yeah, it was pretty nutty around here. lol lol

    Jennifer - :)

    Nanner - it sure will! That does have a nice ring to it. :)

    Cali - oh, of course. I had a feeling that comment was tainted. No worries. :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. Damn that thing is freeky!! When was the last time you had psychoanalysis grrrl?

    LOLOL on the Psycho Bitch, it's karma babe!!

    big hugs!! BTW I was finally able to add Crafty Celti to all 1,250 of my blogrolls hehe (I don't really have that many, it just seems like it!!)I'm finally someplace where I can actually do stuff on the 'net temporarily!! weeee!!!! Yay me!! LOL

    smooches babe!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Import some squirrels to rein in this terror in the yard?....lol

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poor little acorn.....he's a sturdy little bugger. Wonder if he could survive a squirrel?? Now that would be the true test of a sturdy tree.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Heh. I have a friend who created a nefarious villain for me out of a foam grenade (a promotion for a military-based TV show we worked on). He once went to my house and left "Grenado" outside my door with a sign that said, "Die, Mike".

    Yeah, I was freaked out.

    ReplyDelete
  20. All hail the Queen! hee - though, I think you are really lucky - no oak trees in sight over here in the desert. Acorns aren't something the kids grow up knowing about unless they go up north a lot...or to Ohio like mine. B even brought the acorns in to show and tell. ha ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  21. Acorn Queeh, huh? Well, at least your subjects seem happy.

    ReplyDelete