m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

June 30, 2005

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Humans are emotional beings. Some say it’s what sets up apart from the animals. I do not necessarily agree with that considering that I have seen my pets in various states of anger, happiness, frustration, fear and sadness. They feel it Just as we do.

I digress.

My life has been an emotional rollercoaster. I normally like rollercoasters, but this one is getting old. Although it is this type of variety that makes life exciting. It’s just been a bit much to handle lately and I’ve found myself wanting to jump off. It's hard to keep them under control some times, them derned emotions.

It's just emotion that's taken me over
Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling

Gee, thanks a lot, Boo. LOL

I digress AGAIN. *sigh*

I’ve been feeling:

Frustration over watching my husband try to build his own business, workers and associates who have let him down or betrayed him, difficulties caused by shoddy work on others’ parts he has been forced to take the fall for.

Sadness and empathy for friends who are struggling with depression, anxiety and difficulties in their lives and my lack of ability to help them other than just being there for them.

Appreciation for good friends who have been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to just listen when I needed to talk, whine or pitch a fit.

Bewilderment over a friend or two who have turned their backs or built walls.

Excitement regarding my son’s upcoming adventures as a member of a soccer team.

Worries about my son’s upcoming swimming lessons. I’m so glad he has the opportunity but worried that I won’t be there and the possibility that he could drown or be hurt (baseless paranoia).

Admiration of the makers of Splenda and Blue Bunny low-carb fudge bars.

Trepidation regarding a widely varying income level and the ability to maintain financial stability

Joy over newfound, wonderful friends and the pleasure of getting to know them.

Disappointment over not getting to go to California over the 4th of July as I’ve planned for months and months. I want so badly to be there.

Anticipation of the fact that I will be going there – it has simply been postponed.

Horror, humiliation, anger and betrayal because of an angry, spiteful person’s baseless accusations voiced to the DHS regarding our “abuse” of our child and the resulting investigation. He has never been anything but cared for and loved since he was born and has never known any kind of abuse. This became obvious when he was interviewed.

Amusement while watching my son and his best buddy (neighbor girl) enjoy finger painting last night. What was I thinking when I bought those? Man, what a mess. lol

Frustration over the fact that our damned TV died. I think the tube went out – the picture is a scrunched line across the screen. I really don’t want to spend the money on a new one.

Apprehension about my marriage as we struggle to try to work together through these things rather than having them tear us apart.

Overwhelmed when it comes to handling all of the shit that's being slung my way.

Delight in the feeling of wearing the beautiful new dress that I bought for myself yesterday at lunch. I love it and it makes me feel so pretty.

See? I was able to throw some good stuff in there – not just negative things. Those nasty little demons can eat my shorts. It’s all a balance – the yin and yang. When life gives you garbage, make compost and feed your flowers.

June 28, 2005


Child walks down to the river
looks out as far as she can see
draws each breath as if it were the last
And wipes away the tears across her sleeve
She can see where the river crawls to the sea
Like a baby into mother’s care
Somehow the longing is so far away
The innocence so wasted and aware

look at the child with the dream in her eyes
Holding it deep inside her

Thinking about home...
So much anger so deeply ingrained
Seemed a burden that was hers alone
She didn’t think that there was anything wrong
With wanting a life that she could call her own
How could I explain? You would not want to hear.
You wouldn’t listen if I talked anyway
For you were too weighed down by your own fears

And look at the child with the dream in her eyes
Holding it deep inside her


A Diamond in the Rough

Now, here is a cool idea. More and more people today are choosing cremation as opposed to burial for their means of dealing with their remains. Now, there is a new option – a Lifegem.

I had heard about this before, but hadn’t really looked into it until I heard them talking about it on the radio today. What the technicians do is extract the carbon from a person's cremated remains and make a diamond out of them. They extract the carbon, purify it and put it in a diamond press – a device that combines heat and pressure to form a rough diamond, just as the earth does but much quicker. They then cut, facet and polish the diamonds which can be cherished by the person's family.

They can make up to 50 GIA certified 1 carat diamonds from one person. They can also do this with a pet's remains if one is so inclined. The process can be done with remains from someone who has recently died, or ashes from someone who died long ago and you can choose to have the diamond(s) made in blues or yellows. It is pretty expensive, but really not that bad considering that you get a family heirloom that lasts forever instead of a pot of ashes (they don’t use them all, so you get that, too.)

I think this is a really cool idea. They last forever, won't get spilled or vacuumed (too many movies? lol), and are a very pretty reminder of the person. Say, for example, a person has three children – well, 3 diamonds can be made for each child. What do you think? Would you do this?

June 26, 2005


It was so hot today, I looked out the window and saw a little man in an orange robe burst into flames! (bonus for first person who can identify what movie that line is from! lol)

Actually, yesterday was a scorcher too. What to do on such putrid days? Movies! I took D to see "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl" yesterday (it was really quite good) but what we saw today blew it away. This was no ordinary movie...it was an IMAX movie. Yes, one IMAX movie experience and I'm hooked. It rocks.

The movie we saw today was called "Pulse: A Stomp Odyssey" and it was so awesome I have to tell you about it.

Your guide for the film is Stomp - the acclaimed group of percussive performers. They explore rythm, song, and dance around the world in a vibrant, deeply moving experience. You travel with them from New York City to the American Southwest, Africa, South America, Asia and Europe. Along the way, you meet gumboot dancers, taiko drummers, djembe players, bell ringers, flamenco dancers, marching bands, street performers - people living out loud.

Some of the featured performers include:
Eva Yerbabuena - Spain
Kodo - Japan
Bayeza Cultural Dancers - South Africa
Shafaatullah Khan - India
Khoi San Music - Botswana
Timbalada & Os Zarabe - Brazil
Jackie Robinson Steppers - NYC
Winchester Cathedral Bellringers - England

Underneath it all is the beat, the pulse of music and dance. To me, it expressed how differently each culture looks at music and dance - how it is all so very different, but yet the same - just like the people.

What was amazing is that there was virtually no spoken dialogue in the film. Everything was expressed through facial expressions, visual imagery and music.

I think this film would have been moving in a normal format - but the IMAX experience brought you into the film like you were right there. It was wonderful. Check out the website too, linked above. It's an amazing flash site that gives you a taste of the experience. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to ruin it for you - I highly recommend it.

Wow. :)

June 24, 2005

SASF v6.24

That’s Short Attention Span Friday for my new friends who might be wondering. Seems it’s become a bit of a tradition around here.

Well, summer has officially descended upon Iowa, folks. It was over 90 freakin’ degrees yesterday with a heat index of nearly 100. Ug. I hate that kind of heat – just not nice at all. I always say that if I’m going to be sweating, I want to have a reason to be sweating. LOL

And, for this weeks goodies…


In the Name of Science

Not for the weak minded...
Hmmm...this is fascinating and scary at the same time. It seems that scientists have come up with a nasal spray that makes a person more trusting (read: naive). In the interest of science, this is very significant as it always is when science can bend the emotions, but there are evil connotations, at least for this paranoid mind. What could/would the current administration, our leaders do with this? *shudder*


More Photoshop Fun

Some mad photoshoppers out there have taken this image of this poor, unfortunate dancer girl and had way too much fun with her. *snicker* Good times!


Woo Hoo

Seems my blog has was featured a while back on Blogs By Women for some of my poetry. *blush* wow. That is too cool.


Community Spirit

Had a little too much nicey-nice? Need to get your hate on? Well, check out Nemester.

Nemester is an on-line community that connects paranoids, egotists, villains and monomaniacs through networks of competing agendas and incompatable ideologies for bitter conflicts, mutual loathing or to find their one, true nemesis.

Currently still in the beta testing phase, you can’t sign up yet, but I think I might when it’s ready to go (or find a way to be a beta tester). It sounds like it could provide some dastardly fun.


Give your Lips a Boost

When there just isn't enough caffeine in your life and your lips are dry, it's time for Spazzstick caffeinated lip balm!

Spazzstick comes in two yummy flavours: Mint and Vanilla Toffee. It claims to soothe your dry lips and keep you awake when you're tired which can't be bad. Spazzstick retails for just $2.99.

It's made in Alaska – damn, they’re bored up there. *snicker*

The most interesting part is the fact that they claim that it’s made by trolls. I'm not kidding.
"Trolls are hard workers, require very few benefits, and are never late to work, mainly because they never go home. Also, trolls are technically neither human nor animal. They're faerie beasties. Therefore neither labor laws nor animal control laws apply. We just have to feed them nutritious gruel and keep them from eating the gnomes." Ohhhh kaaaay.


Is your dog a spaz?

Feed him/her Cannabiscuits so they can chill out! (hmmm…random thoughts about hitting these people up for some advertising $ - or maybe free samples, anyway. Heh)

"These ... promote the repair of damaged cells and have a range of health benefits - from a shiny coat and stronger teeth and nails in dogs, to lessening the impact of heart disease in humans." - now, how the hell do they lessen the impact of heart disease in humans?? You wouldn't catch me eating dog biscuits even if they DO have pot in them. lol! Leave it to the Aussies…


Noodling Freaks

This weekend is the fabulous Okie Noodling Festival in Oklahoma!

What the hell is Noodling, you may ask? Well, it’s hand fishing, friends and neighbors. These guys wander around in lakes and rivers, sticking their hands in dark places under the surface looking for these monsterous catfish that apparently lie in wait of prey. Well, they stick their hands in the mouths of these monsters (who then bite down!) and pull them out of their holes!

Once a year, they have a festival with contests for the biggest noodling catch, and a huge fish fry/jamboree.

This is all very intriguing, but you aren’t going to catch me doing this shit. I may lean towards the wild side, but I’m not all about sticking my hand in there to find a poisonous cottonmouth of a pissed off beaver! LOL


Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

June 23, 2005

Ya Freak!

I love freaks. I really do - they are some of the most interesting people on this planet, and the majority of them really seem to know how to live life to the fullest. They are fearless, bold, proud and just damned wierd. My kind of people! So, if I ever call you a freak, it's most likely meant as a compliment. :)

My favorite band of freaks, the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, haven't come around for a long time. Based out of New York, they have been staying close to home recently. Can't say that I blame them - going out on the road is a bitch.

This troup presents a blend of old style burlesque, sideshow freaks, strange women, new vaudeville and toe tappin' music. With performers including BFC co-founders, Keith Nelson (Pennygaff, Kinko the Clown & more) and Stephanie Monseu (Philomena Bindlestiff), plus others talented in amazing feats including, but not limited to stilt walking, fire eating, sword-swallowing, juggling, physical comedy, human blockhead, balloon sculpture, rope spinning, bull whips, knife throwing, bed of nails, clowning, singing, broken glass walking and eating, trapeze, gun spinning, knot throwing, balancing, mental flossing, comedy magic, all-around-entertainment, their shows are amazingly amusing.

The first time we saw them, we were lucky enough to catch Danny Boy, the contortionist. They brought this kid out on stage in a tiny box (we're talking like 2' wide) which he unfolded himself out of. He showed off his talents, putting himself through a tennis racket, toilet seat, and finally literally diving into a straight jacket that was all fastened up as if it were already occupied!

Keith (a.k.a. Mr. Pennygaff) does a fabulous sword (and other object) swallowing act. He swallows swords, bayonets, neon light tubes, you name it. He also shoves lots of amazingly long things like nails, screwdrivers and drills up his nose. He not only does sword swallowing, but also clowning, fire-eating, Bed of Nails, Human Blockhead, trick rope spinning, juggling (four balls and four clubs/torches), plate spinning, Diablo, balloon sculpture, a balancing act, Straight Jacket Escape, stilt walking, bullwhips, magic, knife throwing, archery, and gun spinning. He's handsome & funny, too. *grin*

Philomena - the hot, sassy, tattooed ringleader and Mistress of Ceremonies, was my favorite performer. She is just down-right impressive. She dances, sings, eats light bulbs, jumps up and down on broken beer bottles, lays on the bed of nails, can snap a smoke out of your mouth with a 10' bull whip, eat fire... the list just goes on and on. My favorite trick that she did was with razor blades. She took about 6 double edged razor blades (proven razor sharp by a volunteer from the audience), and put them in her mouth. Then, she curled up a long piece of string and put it in her mouth. With her mouth closed, she tied each razor blade to the string and proceeded to pull them out of her mouth one by one like ornaments on the string. yowza.

My very favorite act that they do, however, is the fireplay!

It is a fire eating and breathing act taken to a new level. In a rather sensual manner, Keith and Philomena eat and breathe fire and set their skin on fire, carressing themselves and eachother with the burning rods. It's a very impressive and...um...arousing show. Being a closet pyromaniac myself, I was completely mezmerized by this. Be sure to check it out in the videos you can find here. Check out the other videos, too! There's some good stuff there.

The performers are very friendly with their audiences, and I had a great time visiting with them before and after the show each time I saw them. I honestly wanted to jump in their van and go with them - to run away with the Cirkus! Had they invited me, I think I would have gone.

June 22, 2005


I mentioned, a couple of posts ago, that I made some celtic knot barrettes. There was some interest expressed in seeing them, so here they are:

I think this one is my fave:

...and all four.

These were actually an experiment - something I hadn't tried before. They are made of paper and coated in polyeurethane, glued to french barrettes. I'm happy with how they turned out, so I think I'll make more.

June 21, 2005

Happy Summer Solstice!

The Summer Solstice is also known as: Alban Heflin, Alben Heruin, All-couples day, Feast of Epona, Feast of St. John the Baptist, Feill-Sheathain, Gathering Day, Johannistag, Litha, Midsummer, Sonnwend, Thing-Tide, and Vestalia among others.

People around the world have observed these spiritual and religious seasonal days of celebration during the month of June. Most have been religious holy days which are linked in some way to the summer solstice. On this day, typically June 21, the daytime hours are at a maximum in the Northern hemisphere, and night time is at a minimum. It is officially the first day of summer. It is also referred to as Midsummer because it is roughly the middle of the growing season throughout much of Europe.

"Solstice" is derived from two Latin words: "sol" meaning sun, and "sistere," to cause to stand still. This is because, as the summer solstice approaches, the noonday sun rises higher and higher in the sky on each successive day. On the day of the solstice, it rises an imperceptible amount, compared to the day before - in this sense, it "stands still."

The seasons of the year are caused by the 23.5º tilt of the earth's axis. Because the earth is rotating like a top or gyroscope, the North Pole points in a fixed direction continuously - towards a point in space near the North Star. But the earth is also revolving around the sun. During half of the year, the southern hemisphere is more exposed to the sun than is the northern hemisphere. During the rest of the year, the reverse is true. At noontime in the Northern Hemisphere the sun appears high in the sky during summertime, and low during winter. The time of the year when the sun reaches its maximum elevation occurs on the summer solstice - the day with the greatest number of daylight hours. The lowest elevation occurs about December 21 and is the winter solstice - the first day of winter, when the night time hours reach their maximum.

In pre-historic times, summer was a joyous time of the year for the people who lived in the northern latitudes. The snow had disappeared, the ground had thawed out, warm temperatures had returned, flowers were blooming, and leaves had returned to the trees. Some herbs could be harvested for medicinal and other uses. Food was easier to find. The crops had already been planted and would be harvested in the months to come. Although many months of warm weather remained before the fall, they noticed that the days were beginning to shorten, so that the return of the cold season was inevitable.

The first full moon in June is called the Honey Moon. Tradition holds that this is the best time to harvest honey from the hives.

This time of year, between the planting and harvesting of the crops, was the traditional month for weddings. This is because many ancient peoples believed that the "grand union" of the Goddess and God occurred in early May at Beltaine. Since it was unlucky to compete with the deities, many couples delayed their weddings until June. In some traditions, "newly wed couples were fed dishes and beverages that featured honey for the first month of their married life to encourage love and fertility. The surviving vestige of this tradition lives on in the name given to the holiday immediately after the ceremony: "The Honeymoon."

Most societies in the northern hemisphere, ancient and modern, have celebrated a festival on or close to Midsummer:

Ancient Celts: The Druids, the priestly/professional/diplomatic corps in Celtic countries, celebrated Alban Heruin ("Light of the Shore"). It was midway between the spring Equinox (Alban Eiler; "Light of the Earth") and the fall Equinox (Alban Elfed; "Light of the Water"). "This midsummer festival celebrates the apex of Light, sometimes symbolized in the crowning of the Oak King, God of the waxing year. At his crowning, the Oak King falls to his darker aspect, the Holly King, God of the waning year..." The days following Alban Heruin form the waning part of the year because the days become shorter.

Ancient China: Their summer solstice ceremony celebrated the earth, the feminine, and the yin forces. It complemented the winter solstice which celebrated the heavens, masculinity and yang forces.

Ancient Gaul: The Midsummer celebration was called Feast of Epona, named after a mare goddess who personified fertility, sovereignty and agriculture. She was portrayed as a woman riding a mare.

Ancient Germanic, Slav and Celtic tribes in Europe: Ancient Pagans celebrated Midsummer with bonfires. "It was the night of fire festivals and of love magic, of love oracles and divination. It had to do with lovers and predictions, when pairs of lovers would jump through the luck-bringing flames..." It was believed that the crops would grow as high as the couples were able to jump. Through the fire's power, "...maidens would find out about their future husband, and spirits and demons were banished." Another function of bonfires was to generate sympathetic magic: giving a boost to the sun's energy so that it would remain potent throughout the rest of the growing season and guarantee a plentiful harvest.

Ancient Rome: The festival of Vestalia lasted from June 7 to June 15. It was held in honor of the Roman Goddess of the hearth, Vesta. Married women were able to enter the shrine of Vesta during the festival. At other times of the year, only the vestal virgins were permitted inside.

Ancient Sweden: A Midsummer tree was set up and decorated in each town. The villagers danced around it. Women and girls would customarily bathe in the local river. This was a magical ritual, intended to bring rain for the crops.

Christian countries: After the conversion of Europe to Christianity, the feast day of St. John the Baptist was set as June 24. It "is one of the oldest feasts, if not the oldest feast, introduced into both the Greek and Latin liturgies to honour a saint." Curiously, the feast is held on the alleged date of his birth. Other Christian saints' days are observed on the anniversary of their death. The Catholic Encyclopedia explains that St. John was "filled with the Holy Ghost even from his mother's womb...[thus his] birth...should be signalized as a day of triumph." His feast day is offset a few days after the summer solstice, just as Christmas is fixed a few days after the winter solstice. "Just as John was the forerunner to Jesus, midsummer forecasts the eventual arrival of the winter solstice circa December 21.

Native Americans: The Natchez tribe in the southern U.S. "worshiped the sun and believed that their ruler was descended from him. Every summer they held a first fruits ceremony." Nobody was allowed to harvest the corn until after the feast.

Males in the Hopi tribe dressed up as Kachinas - the dancing spirits of rain and fertility who were messengers between humanity and the Gods. At Midsummer, the Kachinas were believed to leave the villages to spend the next six months in the mountains, where they were believed to visit the dead underground and hold ceremonies on their behalf.

Native Americans have created countless stone structures linked to equinoxes and solstices. Many are still standing. One was called Calendar One by its modern-day finder. It is in a natural amphitheatre of about 20 acres in size in Vermont. From a stone enclosure in the center of the bowl, one can see a number of vertical rocks and other markers around the edge of the bowl. "At the summer solstice, the sun rose at the southern peak of the east ridge and set at a notch at the southern end of the west ridge." The winter solstice and the equinoxes were similarly marked.

The Bighorn Medicine Wheel west of Sheridan, WY is perhaps the most famous of the 40 or more similar "wheels" on the high plains area of the Rocky Mountains. Most are located in Canada. At Bighorn, the center of a small cairn that is external to the main wheel, lines up with the center of the wheel and the sun rising at the summer equinox. Another similar sighting cairn provides a sighting for three dawn-rising stars: Aldebaran, Rigel and Sirius. A third cairn lines up with fourth star: Fomalhaut. The term "medicine wheel" was coined by Europeans; it was a term used to describe anything native that white people didn't understand.

Neopaganism: This is a group of religions which are attempted re-constructions of ancient Pagan religions. Of these, Wicca is the most common - it is loosely based partly on ancient Celtic beliefs and practices. Wiccans recognize eight seasonal days of celebration. Four are minor sabbats and occur at the two solstices and the two equinoxes. The other are major sabbats which happen approximately halfway between an equinox and solstice. The Summer Solstice sabbat is often called Midsummer or Litha. Wiccans may celebrate the sabbat on the evening before, at sunrise on the morning of the solstice, or at the exact time of the astronomical event.

"Midsummer is the time when the sun reaches the peak of its power, the earth is green and holds the promise of a bountiful harvest. The Mother Goddess is viewed as heavily pregnant, and the God is at the apex of his manhood and is honored in his guise as the supreme sun." It is a time for divination and healing rituals. Divining rods and wands are traditionally cut at this time.

Prehistoric Europe: Many remains of ancient stone structures can be found throughout Europe. Some date back many millennia BCE. Many appear to have religious/astronomical purposes; others are burial tombs. These structures were built before writing was developed. One can only speculate on the significance of the summer solstice to the builders. Perhaps the most famous of these structures is Stonehenge, a megalith monument on Salisbury Plain in Wiltshire. It was built in three stages, between circa 3000 and 1500 BCE. "The circular bank and ditch, double circle of "bluestones" (spotted dolerite), and circle of sarsen stones (some with white lintels), are concentric, and the main axis is aligned on the midsummer sunrise - an orientation that was probably for ritual rather than scientific purposes. Four "station stones" within the monument form a rectangle whose shorter side also points in the direction of the midsummer sunrise.

Whatever you believe, celebrate Solstice time with your friends and family - take part in a Spirit Gathering or some other festival happening. Keep a sacred fire burning throughout the gathering. Stay up all night on Solstice Eve and welcome the rising Sun at dawn. Make a pledge to Mother Earth of something that you will do to improve the environment and then begin carrying it out. Have a gift exchange with friends. Exchange songs, chants, and stories with others in person or through the internet or mail. Dance to drums around a blazing bonfire. Celebrate and have fun!

June 19, 2005

T is for Tarrrred

Wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. lol
For some reason, I don't feel like I have the lucidity needed to write a coherent post, so you get bits and pieces. heh

Got the lawn mowed. I almost hated to do it because the clover is in bloom. My yard was full of flowers. Smelled great, though, when mowed.

Weeded the garden & flower beds. Amazing how those little bastards grow when it's rained this much. Dang.

Did laundry. Elaboration unnecessary. zzz

Put on my creative hat and created a website for my husband's business. I'm very pleased with how it is looking. No, you don't get to look yet, it's not done. ;)

D and I had a blast chasing and catching fireflys in the yard. We put them in a big jar and watched them for a while, then let them go. I'd forgotten how much fun it is to do that.

Rented and watched A Series of Unfortunate Events. I really liked it. I haven't read the book, but now I might. D liked it, too, but got really scared when the leeches were attacking the boat. lol It made for a good "snuggle up under the blankie in the lazy-boy" movie.

I finally cleaned out & washed my car. Oh, it was sooo long over due. I swear D is making concoctions like a miniature chemist back there in a quest for the most staining and viscious liquid he can invent. sheesh.

D, his daddy and grandpa went fishing today. Nice way to spend father's day. They didn't catch a thing, but had a great time.

It's official, we are slaves to the star wars action figures. We now have Obi Wan, Darth Vader, Anakin, Yoda, two robots, and a girl jedi I can't recall the name of. D loves the movies, and can't get enough. Oh well, they're fun to play with.

Chris went nutty and bought a new motor for the go kart - he broke the old one somehow. So, this motor has like twice the power of the other one. It flys. Unfortunately, it also rolls if you take a corner too quickly as Chris discovered. The neighbors got a good chuckle.

Oh, and I made four celtic knot barrettes. :)

So, I put up and linked my 100 things list last week. Since I posted it, it has been stuck on the blogger home page as one of the most recently updated blogs. It's been there since what? Thursday? Well, that page is getting something like 300 hits a day, and many are coming here from there, so there have been a LOT of new faces around here. Very interesting. I wonder how long it will be stuck there...

June 17, 2005

June 16, 2005


I finally did some more work on my "100 things about me" list, so it's linked now. It's right under my profile link over there ----->

Oh, ok, I won't be lazy. Here. Lot's and lot's o' Celti trivia.


When I look at my site meter & stats, I am always amused by the things people search for that lead them to my blog. Recently, I've seen goodies such as these appear:

"Doombah Pottydunkin" - Captain Underpants, I am not
"The ground is equal at the foot of the cross" - don't think they found what they wanted
"eat steak eat steak eat a big old steer" - from my early diet ketosis stupor
"tickled peed" - thanks, sis'
"wheeled vibrator" - thanks, Seamus lol
"how to say kiss my ass in celtic" - that would be "Póg mo thóin" in Gaelic
"wife speaks June Japan divorce 2005" - I have no idea...
"rock and roll goochie goo" - interesting, I've never talked about that song here
"her nipples" - what about them?
"Donovan Patton and cock" - naughty! He's hot, but sheesh!
"barefoot all the time" - if I had my way...


I am very curious, though, as to how some of my readers find my blog and why they stick around. Please humor me and answer a couple of questions, if you would...

How did you originally find my blog?

What keeps you coming back?

June 14, 2005

Will I Ever?

Will I ever see you smile at me
Put my arms around you
And feel you hold me?

Would I be welcome there?

Will I ever be able to look deep into your eyes
And search for the truth
Will I find it there?

Would I understand it?

Will I ever have the opportunity
To show you the most
Wonderful things I know and see?

Would you share the same with me?

Will I ever know that I am loved completely
And not worry
That this feeling will go away?

Will I ever be at peace?

June 12, 2005

Life as a Sensory Playground

I've been keenly aware of my senses this weekend. I am always taking in sights and smells, sounds and feelings around me and savoring them, but this weekend they all seemed more intense. It's life at it's richest.

The scent of rosemary on my fingertips long after passing it at the farmers' market

The feeling of a sweet little Boston Terrier licking my face

The salty squeek of fresh cheese curds on my teeth

The smell of the rain and freshly cut grass

The bumps on my bottom and feet caused by Cadbury bouncing around under my chair

The goosebumps on my arms as I watch childhood sweethearts get married 15 years later

The quiet of the house in the morning when D is at Grandma's

The taste of cheese omelets, biscuits and bloody marys at the bar for breakfast

The way the light filters through the window, capturing Captain Nemo's silouette

The sweat dripping down the side of John's drink, making a puddle on the table.

The vibration of Leonardo's purr on my lap

The tickling of the tips of my wet hair on the small of my back

The way the light filters through beautiful stained glass

The heat of my son's feverish forehead as he snuggles against my chest

The softness of his cheek as I stroke it

The sound of his breath as he sleeps

The clickety click of the keys as I type this

The world is beautiful, powerful and rich. I am happy to be alive.

June 10, 2005

SASF v6.10 - Seriously Now, Folks

Yes, indeed, Celti has managed once again to kick the funk, dispatch the dark cloud and peek out from under her rock. To hell with this depression shit - it's no way to live. I have too much going for me and too much to do to waste any more precious time wringing my hands and wallowing in self pity.

I don't have a whole lot of giggle-fodder for you today since I spent most of my "hunting" time doing said wallowing. Here are a few goodies for you, and then something serious to chew on.

The weekend awaits - booyah!

Happy Birthday
...goes out to a brilliant actor and wonderful man. Gene Wilder turns 72 years old today (wow, could he possibly be 72?!).

I've always loved Gene's comedy, his cleverly crafted roles in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (one of my all-time favorite movies), Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and so many more. My adoration was sealed, however, when I read Gilda Radner's book "It's Always Something." It intimately details her life, her marriage to Gene and her losing battle with Cancer - he finished the book for her after she died. It gave me a close look at what a wonderful man he is, and I admire him tremendously.

Gene, I hope you have found happiness again and that you have a wonderful birthday.

Action Figures and Other Silliness
Since becoming the mother of a boy, I have rediscovered the wonderful world of action figures. They make them for just about anything really - like the "crazy cat lady". "There she stands - ratty bathrobe, checked pajama bottoms, headband, wild hair, and a fanatical look on her face. And she's surrounded by six cats that own her heart and soul." ooooh, fuel those stereotypes. LOL
There are also several other rather amusing figures and links on her page like the "tickle me Freud". Wow, I think I really need a Tickle Me Freud. "Dementophobia is the Fear of Insanity. And if you suffer from it, you better keep away from Tickle Me Freud. Because if you're not insane already, this twisted toy will drive you over the edge. You should also not buy one if you suffer from Geliophobia (Fear of Laughter), because Tickle Me Freud will crack you up. When you press Sigmund's foot, he shakes and lets out a peculiar series of laughs and giggles that'll have you laughing along with him." *snicker*

Failed “Pick Up” Line
"Did it hurt?"
"When you fell from heaven?"
"Not as much as my foot up your ass if you don't step off in the next 5 seconds."
hee hee

Fun Bumper Stickers
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
Impotence..Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called....they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory....some just don't have any film.
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
I used to be apathetic, but now I just don't care! (I used to have this one - really!)

What is Your Element?

Your Element is Fire

Your power color: red

Your energy: hot

Your season: spring

Like a fire, you are full of power and light.
A born leader, you easily draw people toward you.
You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous.
You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.

What Element Are You?

Hey - I wouldn't say I have a huge ego!(?) The rest is pretty spot-on, though. My results are not at all a surprise considering that I am an Aries with Leo moon & Sagg. rising (fire, fire and fire). I would expect nothing less. heh

The Bigger Picture
I came to a realization last night – actually more than one, but the one that stands out is the fact that my problems really are so small. I have a nice house, a good car, my family is healthy and has plenty to eat, good health care. I have so much to be thankful for.

There are an estimated 30,000 people each day that die due to poverty. That’s one person every 3 seconds. …and it’s all so unnecessary.

The gap between the worlds's rich and poor has never been wider. Malnutrition, AIDS, conflict and illiteracy are a daily reality for millions. But it isn't chance or bad luck that keeps many of these people trapped in bitter, unrelenting poverty. It's man-made factors like a glaringly unjust global trade system, a debt burden so great that it suffocates any chance of recovery and insufficient and ineffective aid.

The ONE Campaign is a new effort to rally Americans to fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty. Through The ONE Campaign, and many other connected efforts worldwide, each ONE of us can make a difference. Together as ONE we can change the world.

The ONE Declaration:

“WE BELIEVE that in the best American tradition of helping others help themselves, now is the time to join with other countries in a historic pact for compassion and justice to help the poorest people of the world overcome AIDS and extreme poverty. WE RECOGNIZE that a pact including such measures as fair trade, debt relief, fighting corruption and directing additional resources for basic needs – education, health, clean water, food, and care for orphans – would transform the futures and hopes of an entire generation in the poorest countries, at a cost equal to just one percent more of the US budget. WE COMMIT ourselves - one person, one voice, one vote at a time - to make a better, safer world for all.”

World leaders are meeting in Scotland in July at a global summit - the G8. We need to urge them to do what they must do: end unfair trade policies & ensure trade justice, find a way to end the debt crisis, and deliver much more aid and make sure it’s of highest quality. We, as a world community, have got to get our priorities straight.

They're not asking for our money - they're asking for our voices. Sign the declaration here and add your voice. I did.

There is so much more that can be done, but it's a wonderful start.

June 09, 2005

Uncomfortably Numb

Thank you to all of you who reached out to me within the last couple of days. Please know that, even if I didn't respond, it did not fall on deaf ears.

There is so much going on - more than just the prying eyes that force me to censor myself (grrrrrrr), but here's an idea:

A marriage with MAJOR problems

an empty bank account

a cancelled (or at very least postponed) trip that I've been dreaming about for months

inconsistent work/unstable income

two aging cars costing us tons

the family blog-reading nastiness


It all just gets so overwhelming some times and it seems like every time I think something might go right, it goes to shit. My mind knows and understands what's going on and what I need to do, but my emotions have simply taken over the last few days, leaving me in a smoldering heap.

I really thought I should post something here to let you all know that I haven't done anything stupid like go jump off a bridge. I could never do that because of my son - he needs me and I will always be here for him.

I went home last night and after dinner I informed Chris that he was in charge. I then proptly sedated myself and went to bed at 8:00. I simply needed to shut down. I feel a little better today, a little less like I'm going to crumble into bits anyway, but the funk is still there. Any suggestions for the best kind of funk remover?

June 08, 2005

Fuck It

yep. that's what I said. Fuck it and fuck this. actually - fuck it all.

It's just too much...all of it. I might be gone for a while due to need to be heavily sedated. I just can't wear this mask and pretend that everything is ok any more. It's a fucking farce.

leave a message after the beep.

Bury the Nastiness with a MEME

Yeah, so sue me. LOL I had to bury that post, just like I hope to bury the nastiness that goes along with it. So, here we go my little chickadees...


Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band/artist: Sarah McLachlan (I know her songs and lyrics better than most)

Are you male or female: Perfect Girl
Describe yourself: Train Wreck
How do some people feel about you: Building a Mystery
How do you feel about yourself: Answer
Describe your ex boyfriend: I Will Remember You
Describe your current relationship: Do What You Have to Do
Describe where you want to be: Into the Fire
Describe what you want to be: Sweet Surrender
Describe how you live: World on Fire
Describe how you love: Wear Your Love Like Heaven
Share a few words of wisdom: Drifting


The Random Ten:

1. Sublime - What I Got
2. Tool - Ænima
3. Offspring - Self Esteem
4. Nine Inch Nails - Closer
5. Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
6. Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
7. Korn - Freak on a Leash
8. Jack Johnson - Fortunate Fool
9. Green Day - Brain Stew
10. Dido - Thank You

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

Way too many. Over 1000.

The last CD I bought stole is:

Linkin Park - Meteora

What is the last song you listened to before this post:

Jack Johnson - Rodeo Clowns

Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:

1. Beatles - A Day in the Life
2. Creed - With Arms Wide Open
3. Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
4. Liz Phair - Why Can't I
5. Sarah McLachlan - Answer

Skippin' the Tag! ;P

June 07, 2005

You Learn

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down
what a jagged little pill
It feels so good
swimming in your stomach
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down
the caution blocks you from the wind
Hold it up
to the rays
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out
the way a three-year-old would do
Melt it down
you're gonna have to eventually anyway
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

June 06, 2005

Short Attn. Span MONDAY

...since I totally SPACED the fact that we had a holiday last week, making Friday...well, Friday and not Thursday. pffft.

Sweet Like Chocolate
So, we've decided to name our kitten Cadbury. Yeah, I know, it's goofy but it fits her. I like it, and we can call her Berry for short. :)

This Explains a LOT
"Crazy In Love? It's In The Brain"
Brain Scans Of Those In Love Nearly Identical To Those With Mental Illness

PHILADELPHIA -- Have you ever been crazy in love? Scientists now say the brain activity of those in a whirlwind romance is nearly identical to those with mental illness, Philadelphia television station WCAU reported.

New research with brain scans finds that new love lights up the part of the brain that is also lit up by thirst, hunger and a craving for drugs.

"Of course, drug addictions can be very powerful, very compelling kinds of experiences for people and the kinds of experiences that people feel they need to have that kind of thing," said Dr. Andrew Newberg at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. "And if love runs along those same lines, it's really not completely surprising the same brain areas would be involved."

That means that new love might be less emotion and more physical addiction. The study's authors call it life's greatest addiction.

Once your crazy love has mellowed, many people's brain scans tend to light up in regions involved in long-term attachment.

Newberg is a neuroscientist and he researches brain scans. He said he is not surprised first love lights up like an addiction because if we don't fall in love and have babies, our species would die out.

"It really makes sense that the feelings we have around love, mating and sex are among the strongest we have as human beings. And showing that on a brain scan is not surprising to me," Newberg said.

The study's author, from Rutgers University, said that new love is so addicting that some people actually commit suicide if they get dumped. Drug addicts rarely do that if they don't get their drugs.

huh. go figure.

Hollaback Girl
Although the song and video are both strongly reminiscent of cheerleading camp, this is a pretty cool video. I’ve always thought Gwen Stefani was awesome, and I’m glad to see her doing well on her own.

A holla back girl, by the way, is a girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.

Oh, hell, who am I fooling? GAWDDAMN Gwen's HOT!!!

Reasons to Go to Work NEKKID (thanks, Vicki!)
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.

Gilligan’s Quandary
Seems there is quite a controversy brewing over an advertisement for the new TBS reality show, "the Real Gilligan's Island." Apparently, having two women throw pies at each other, wrestle each other in a sexy manner & smearing each other with pie, then having water splashed on their ample, fake bosoms is degrading to women.

See the Ad Here

I find such humorless, knee-jerk reactions to be tedious at best, sanctimonious and arrogant at worst. Get over it, people! There are far too many prudes in this country. I really don’t think it’s “demeaning” to women, do you? Hell, I don't find it as demeaning as the Hooty Gay Cowboy Bacon Cheddar Ranch commercial. Although I really can see the opposing parties’ point, is it really that bad? What do you think?

Idle Hands
This little video features one or more individuals who obviously have WAY too much time on their hands. It's pretty cool, though. Nimble fingers...hmmm...

They Think They're Kewl
Apparently, a documentary is being made about bloggers. Woo hoo! 59 Bloggers will/have been chosen as their "subjects" and the film is being described as "a feature film about the new senate of the people, by the people, for the people".

Unfortunately, nominations are now closed, but wouldn’t it have been cool to have a couple of people from our community in it?

Ewwww - Descriptive!
"A fart this nasty is impossible to shake. It will follow you to the ends of the earth, like an orphaned child, blanketing you with its stench, a scarlet letter of stinkitude."

- from Steve the Mildly Unwell Bastard's Blog

Ha ha ha ha ha! I haven’t heard that good of a description of flatulence for a long time. That was so funny I could almost smell it. LOL

June 05, 2005


I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time

In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end

'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end

'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

- Sarah McLachlan

June 04, 2005

Round Round Git Around, I Git Around

What the hell, it's Saturday and I may as well do it before I get tagged. ha

X = have done
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides Canada
(x) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested (thank my lucky stars)
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving (but would like to!)
(x) skinny dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) seen a therapist
(x) done the splits
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches (funny how that comes right after spin the bottle. lol)
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (why??)
(x) bitten someone
(x) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan (would like to)
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend (not proud)
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans (on my TO DO list)
(x) been to Europe (lived there)
( ) slept with a co-worker (against my rules)
(x) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(x) seen someone die
(x) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa (would like to)
(x) driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) been to US
(x) been to Mexico
( ) been to India
(x) been on a plane
(x) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) thrown up in a bar
(x) purposely set a part of myself on fire (fire play - weeee!)
(x) eaten sushi
(x) been skiing/snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child (my worst nightmare)
(x) gone to college/university
(x) graduated college/university
(x) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
( ) been intimate with someone of the same gender (hmm...define intimate...? heh heh)

June 03, 2005

P-P-P-Puddy Tat!

UPDATE - 2pm - HOLY CRAP, PEOPLE! I just realized that it's Friday and I don't have a SASF post up! Yes, Celti started out the day thinking it was Thursday. I'm gathering up goodies now, and promise to have SASF Monday to make up for it, m-kay? I'm surprised no one has mentioned it.


Well, I had quite the challenge getting some pictures of this little fuzz-ball. She plays ALL OF THE TIME and rarely holds still, so the first batch was rather blurry.

I caught her at rest, though (giving herself a bath, actually)

(don't know what the hell was up with the flash in these two. damned camera *grumble*)

Sprawled out on my computer chair (made herself at home already. lol)

Meep! Toes in danger!

Unless my family objects, her name will be Cerridwen (pronounced Ker-id-wen). :)

June 02, 2005

XXI World

You have pulled the most auspicious card in the Tarot. Success, completion and triumph are all indicated by the World. You wil receive admiration and acclaim in the near future. You will enjoy a level of success beyond your expectation, you will be generous with others. Even if you are not an active seeker of spiritual growth, your gift will have an awesome quality to it.

Someone New to Love

Last night after dinner, Chris left to go over to a friends house to buy his air compressor. This cad got thrown in jail and was desperate for cash, it was a good deal - what the hey? So, he's gone forever and I'm happily bouncing around in the blog-o-sphere. He comes home and presents me with the cutest damned kitten I think I've seen in years. What the...?

It turns out that the dude is going to prison, and his girlfriend is liquidating their apt. because she's going to move out. They had this little kitten, and she was going to take it to the shelter. Gah! We can't have that now, can we? Chris is just as big of a sucker for animals as I am, so he brought the kitty home.

She is 8 weeks old, a little grey and white striped fuzzball. She is beautiful and so sweet - she immediately starts purring when you touch her. I was done for as soon as she crawled up on my chest and started purring. I fed her and gave her some water and then followed her around as she explored the house.

Derrick got to meet her this morning. Needless to say, he was very excited. I went and bought a new litter box, some good food and some little fuzzy mouse toys for her at lunch and went home to check on her. She's doing great. Tonight, she gets to meet Leonardo. I hope they take to each other easily.

We have to find a proper name for her. The couple who had her was calling her Hooch. Um...no. Not Hooch. I'm leaning towards Minouche (pronounced mee noosh) or Cerridwen.

I'll try to post some pics of the little fuzz-ball tomorrow. In the mean time, here are a couple of my roses that I forgot to post yesterday. heh

These are Tea Roses that a friend gave to me...one little bush!

Sweet! You can see one of our awesome oaks in the background.

Make that one big bush - roses gone wild! lol

June 01, 2005

Memorial Day

It was a beautiful memorial day here in corn country - about 75 degrees, sunny and breezy. Absolutly beautiful.

Despite my weekend gallivanting, I was allowed to sleep in which was just the ticket. Got up about 10 (VERY late for me) and fooled around on the 'puter for a bit before whipping up a low-carb cheesecake. *drool* Let me just say that it is AWESOME and it's not cheating. Giddy giddy giddy. One has to be patient though...warm cheesecake just isn't very good. Couldn't wait for it to chill. lol

We very recently acquired a go-cart, and I had yet to try it out so Monday it was ON! I took it for a spin around the neighborhood and it rocked! It sits down so low to the ground that it corners like it's on rails, and woo hoo does it go!

Derrick on "his" go-cart. pfffft. He thinks it's his...

I don't know how many times I orbited our block, but it was awesome. I was like Danica in her Indy car, only I got the checkered flag. I finally gave in to let my vibrating bones recover with many grease spots, a burnt elbow and a cheesy grin. Good times!

I planted my patchouli (hippy! *giggle*) and did a bit of weeding. My garden is my happy place, and I got a few new images to share with you.

I love my irises. They're my favorites...I just wish the blooming season was longer.

Ok, what the hell am I going to do with all these chives now that I don't eat 'taters? lol

Bunny thinks these look tasty...

(note the baby oak tree invading. lol)

A happy little spot in the shade...

We did have a somber occasion to attend in the evening, but it was ok. Chris' aunt passed away, and we went to her visitation. She had been very sick, so we were relieved that she was no longer suffering.

This was a good learning experience for Derrick. It was the first time that he had seen someone in a casket. I let him ask me about it ("mommy, what is that lady doing up there?") and I asked him if he wanted to go see her. He said yes, so we walked up together to her, hand in hand, and quietly talked about what was going on. I answered all of his questions gently and honestly, explaining to him that she was dead and that she was getting ready to go to heaven. The casket was what we use to bury them under the ground and we even discussed how they do that, and the rails on the side used to carry her. We talked about all the flowers and even discussed the pictures and stuffed animals family had placed in with her so that she wouldn't be so lonely on her journey.

He did not know aunt Carolyn well at all, so he wasn't upset to see her in that state. I would much rather have his first funeral experience be like this than someone like his grandma or grandpa. I was happy to have the opportunity to explain these things to him without overwhelming emotions to get in the way. He seemed to understand and was ok with it.

I think I'll go get a pedicure at lunch.... :D

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