Hit & Run Psycho

Our local Salvation Army thrift store is like a 6 day a week garage sale. We like to go there sometimes and see what treasures we can find. One Saturday, several years ago, we did just that. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was before the D man was born.

After browsing the store and paying for our treasures, we came out to the car to head home. Chris and a friend who was with us were lagging behind. As I walked up to my car, which was diagonally parked, I noticed there was a woman loading her kinds into the back of her car. She had her door open and it was pressed against the side of my car. After she shut the door, I approached mine and sure enough, there was a big, nasty door ding right where her door had been touching. I bent over to inspect it, and then looked at her.

"Is there a problem?" she snarled.

"Well, it looks like you door dinged my car."

She flipped. I mean FLIPPED. I can't even describe it properly, but she turned all red and started bouncing around yelling at me. "Did you see me hit it? Did you SEEEE me?" I said "No, but it sure looks like it." She started jumping up and down and cursing and, at this point, it was apparent that she was nuttier than a fruitcake.

"Never mind, never mind!" I said, and I opened my door and got in my car. Amazingly, she then started punching and kicking the door of my car.

"Oh, no, you didn’t!" I said and I opened the door and got back out to see how much damage she had just added to the nasty ding.

I'll pause for a moment to provide a little more information on the surroundings to help you picture it a bit better. Psycho bitch was quite a bit smaller than me – I probably have a good 6 inches on her. She was with her two small children – I would guess 5 and 3, and her mother, who was driving a very large, piece of shit Chevrolet sedan – I think it was a Caprice.

As I stepped out of my car, most likely with a considerable amount of fire in my eyes, she dove for the door of her car. I'm guessing she thought I was about to kick her ass. She jumped into their car, and yelled "go!" at her mom, who did exactly that – she floored it.

Well, psycho bitch's door was still open, and I was right there between the two cars. Her door connected with the side of my car, and all hell broke loose. The driver's side window exploded in my face, the rear view mirror hit me, and chrome pieces were flying as her door wreaked havoc on the side of my car as she squealed the tires in reverse with me sandwiched between the two cars.

Everything, at this point, is a bit of a blur. As glass exploded, metal shrieked on metal and chrome bent and peeled, I somehow managed to literally dive over the trunk lid of my car and land on the ground behind it. As I came to my feet, I threw the piece of chrome that had been wrapped around my midsection at them and screamed as they burned rubber out of the parking lot. I'll never forget seeing her two grubby-faced children looking at me with huge eyes out of the back window as they sped away.

I fell to the ground, stunned, shocked and hurt. Chris and our friend had come around the corner just as all hell had broken loose, and saw the whole thing. Chris took off after them on foot, chasing them about ½ block before giving up and coming back. There were two other people in the parking lot that saw the whole thing as well.

Someone ran up to the police station, which is only a half block away, and a couple of officers came down to where we were. A couple of the witnesses had noted her license plate number, so they took note of that and made their report. They took pictures of the damage to my car and to me. I had several small cuts starting at about mid-calf all the way up to my hip as I had been wearing a skirt (now torn). They even had me hike up my skirt so they could take a picture of my busted open hip. I had a few small cuts on my abdomen, too, from the chrome. Despite all this, I didn’t appear to be seriously hurt, so they did not call an ambulance. Chris drove me and my poor beat up car home.

A few days later, I got a call from the detective assigned to the case. He said that he talked to them, and that the driver did not know that she had hit me. What?? How could she have not known? That was a huge lie! He informed me that, since our stories didn’t match and he didn’t know whom to believe, there was nothing further he could do. WHAT? What about the witnesses!?

I was flabbergasted. This clown had no intention of pursuing the matter – too much trouble, I suppose, or he didn’t want to deal with the paper work. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but I do know that it was a rather lengthy discourse on how wrong it was that she would get away with this and what a pathetic waste of my tax money he is. He had nothing to say – he just didn't care.

I was too traumatized by the whole thing to put any energy into pursuing it at that point. Well, that, and I expected that any effort would be futile. I went to the doctor on Monday, and she checked me over. I had 22 cuts and puncture wounds on my leg, and 3 punctures on my abdomen. The bruises, which had a couple of days to set in, were huge – one on my abdomen was 10" wide and they were all very colorful. One cut on my hip should have had stitches, but she said it was too late to stitch it at that point. I still have a weird pucker-like scar there. She measured, counted and documented my injuries, determining that none were too serious and told me I could go. I was in a tremendous amount of pain, and asked what I should do about that hoping that she'd prescribe something that would take it all away. She told me to just take some Advil. *pout*

So, no charges were filed, but the insurance company did go after her for the $1500 in damages to my car. She paid them back in small payments and I even got a check for my deductible when she paid it off. How many times have I kicked myself for not pursuing it? ...for not pressing charges? ...for not suing her? Many. Honestly, suing them would have been futile as it was obvious from their car and home that they had nothing.

What the hell was up with psycho bitch, anyway? Why did she flip out like that? She had to have been on some kind of screwed up drugs like freakin' angel dust or something to act like that, really. I've never seen anything like it. ...and those kids! What kind of example are they setting for those kids? My gawd - juvenile delinquents in training.

I don't know how many times I drove by their house (yes, psycho bitch and her two little piggies lived with her mom) and pondered ideas for revenge. Visions of Molotov cocktails came to mind. How giddy I would be to watch it burn. I even thought about putting them in jail myself – securely gluing their windows and doors shut, painting all the windows black and cutting their phone line. I thought about setting the car on fire, putting sugar, water and various other goodies in the gas tank.

I never did any of it, though. I knew it was not my place and that it would bite me in the ass if I did. I'm sure karma has been taking good care of them. It sure did make for some lovely daydream fodder, though. Someday, perhaps, we shall meet again.