It's Short Attention Span Friday! Woo hoo!
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chukling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."
After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do.", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down and make them into bubble-gum and sell them to France."
(thanks, Denny. LOL!)
It’s Coming True!
It seems that the hubble space telescope has recently confirmed the existence of a young planet at a nearby star. The story is here. However, I am uncomfortably amused at how disturbed I was to see the Hubble image (on the left, here).
The damned thing looks like the freakin’ Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings! GAH!
This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying. "Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered I had forgotten my wallet in it. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar and was thinking about putting an end to my life, and you show up and drink the damn poison"
I am proud and down right giddy to announce that I now weigh (insert drumroll here) 85 pounds less than I did last fall and I’m wearing pants that are 8 sizes smaller (and they match my car. Yeah, I’m weird, but you like me that way. LOL!). Woo hoo! *Celti does wiggle butt dance for a few moments*) Perhaps I’ll try to conjure up some before & after pictures. (oh, the horror of posting the before... Yipes!)
Don’t Forget, Ladies
In the interest of fighting breast cancer, please remember to do regular breast exams. Early detection is key. Go here if you need help (or need a giggle. *snicker*)
Too Freakin’ Cool
This is just SO much fun to play with. I can only imagine the crazy code that is behind it! Just click and drag on the girl with your mouse to control her movements. She’ll keep falling, but you'll have to help her if she gets stuck. It’s a little strange because she looks like she’s dead, but very intriguing nonetheless.
My husband has always said that he wants a urinal in our house. Why, I do not know, but I’ve resisted so far. However...
I would actually consider one of these! Knowing my luck, he would probably resist because it’s too “girly” for him. Pffft. I think they’re pretty damn cool.
Click the subject to see a gallery of several designs.
Last week in our fine city, there was a stand-off at a seedy motel between police and a wanted felon. He was holed up in a room, and they were trying to get him to surrender. Well, mister criminal crawled through the ceiling into another room and proceeded to walk out of the motel and down the street – right through the 50 SWAT team members camped out outside. Yep. He got away with over 50 policemen surrounding the motel. Our tax dollars at work, people. What a deal. LOL
Fire! Fire! heh heh... Fire!
For my American readers, have a happy Independence Day! Chris and D will be riding our go-kart (highly decorated, of course) in the 4th of July parade, throwing candy! Then, weather permitting, we’ll be spending the 4th at Adventureland – our local amusement park.
This site has some fun fireworks videos to check out - just to get you in the mood, ya know. Be safe and have fun!