m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

April 03, 2006

SASW

Since, in the last couple of weeks, I have been unable to scratch up enough time/energy to put together a sizeable post containing the expected/anticipated amount of weirdness, hilarity and bits of bizarre, I do hereby proclaim this blog, going forward, to be under the grips of SASW - Short Attention Span Week. The work at...well, work is continuing to be thrown at me at a dizzying pace and I've been exhausted enough (not to mention, involved in a book) at home to ...well, just not get there. So, I promise to make every possible effort to provide you, my beloved visitors/readers, on a daily basis, with a few tidbits at a a time (of which seem to be piling up and disgruntled in their neglect here lately.).

Whew.

Ok...here we go...

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Brave Woman

First, in the not-so-funny-but-impressive category, I give you one brave Muslim woman. Unfortunately, I fear that the fact that she is a woman will prevent those who most desperately need to hear and understand what she has to say from even listening at all. Nonetheless, it is so refreshing to hear her voice of reason. I know there must be others that feel the same way she does, but so few seem to have the courage to speak up. I just hope she is able to keep her head.

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Yipes

Allegedly, an Australian sheep farmer recently was perplexed by the continuing disappearance of his sheep, one by one. After a few weeks, the farmer decided to put up an electric fence in an effort to thwart the perpatrator. This is what he found:





Our buddies at snopes.com have a different version of the story. The snake, however, is impressive no matter how/where he was "caught." It was over 4 meters in lenghth! Dang!

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Top 5 Smartass Answers du Jour

Smart-Ass Answer #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Smart-Ass Answer #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."

Smart-Ass Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. (my personal favorite!)

Smart-Ass Answer #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up! that reads Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Smart-Ass Answer #1

"THE TEACHER"

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

***
hee hee hee

Well, that'll be all for tonight, kids. Y'all sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.

9 Comments:

At April 03, 2006 9:27 pm, Blogger sydwynd said...

I wish more people in the Middle East could speak like this woman. The saddest was the stupid cleric dismissing her as a heretic, meaning he didn't have to listen to anything else she said. He might as well have put his fingers in his ears and said "La La I can't hear you!".

She had many valid points, especially the fact that no other religion is going out there destroying other religion's sacred objects and churches.

 
At April 04, 2006 7:49 am, Blogger Denny Shane said...

You have to give it to the woman... she speaks her mind and makes a lot of sense. Shame she's probably dead this morning.

 
At April 04, 2006 1:38 pm, Anonymous jamie said...

I love the snappy answers! THAT was funny!
Say a prayer for HEPcat.

 
At April 04, 2006 1:45 pm, Blogger Coyote Mike said...

I wonder how many death threats that lady got after her appearance.

 
At April 04, 2006 8:15 pm, Blogger Inanna said...

I just can't get over that python.

 
At April 05, 2006 4:13 am, Blogger Die Muräne said...

yeah, this snake will follow me all night (brrrrr!)
nice blog, like it!

 
At April 05, 2006 8:00 am, Blogger Boobabe said...

That is a big ass snake. It gives me the shivers just looking at it.

 
At April 05, 2006 8:46 am, Blogger E-Lo said...

Thanks for making me laugh this morning with the smart ass answers. Those are hee-laar-eee-us.

 
At April 05, 2006 11:49 am, Blogger Celti said...

Vince - Yeah, that upset me, too. I just hope it helps somehow.

Denny - I hope not. :(

Jamie - I thought so. ;)
...and DAMN you for scaring me like that! lol

Mike - Several, I'm sure.

Die - Sorry! lol Thanks!

Boo - Indeed! Makes my little 5' snake look like a worm!

E-Lo - you're welcome. :) Certainly made me giggle.

 

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