m Celtic Cross Celtic Cross - Average Everyday Sane Psycho Supergoddess

August 09, 2006

Carnies, Livestock & Rednecks, Oh MY!

I am filled with anticipation for an upcoming event. Tomorrow is the beginning of the Iowa State Fair. This undeniably perfect venue for people watching is where you can procure some of the weirdest and most wonderful foods and entertainment around. It's also where you can find, in my opinion, some of the most alarming foods. You'll find funnel cakes (of course!), elephant ears, porkchop on a stick (VERY popular), Gyros, Phillies, BBQ, cheesecake on a stick (dipped in chocolate, even!), and, among many others, the notorious fried twinkie. Damn, I can feel my arteries hardening as I type this.

The fried twinkie is a phenomenon like no other. I think they started serving them at the fair a few years ago. Sporting 390 calories and 33 grams of fat, this treat has taken the fair by storm. I, personally, have never tried it and don't intend to (ack!). It sounds disgusting to me (not surprising since I don't care for twinkies) not to mention the fact that it's practically death on a stick. It was described by the New York Times in this way: "Something magical occurs when the pastry hits the hot oil. The creamy white vegetable shortening filling liquefies, impregnating the sponge cake with its luscious vanilla flavor... The cake itself softens and warms, nearly melting, contrasting with the crisp, deep-fried crust in a buttery and suave way. The piece de resistance, however, is a ruby-hued berry sauce, adding a tart sophistication to all that airy sugary goodness." HA HA HA – that's rich. bah dun dum

Anyway, the fair is the best place to experience mullet culture, chat up the carnies (those loud-mouthed, greasy, tattooed, fascinating creatures), scout out examples of bad parenting and inappropriate use of halter tops and spandex, and ogle mesmerizing livestock such as the big boar or the biggest freakin' bull you ever did see. Last year, the illustrious winner of the title of Big Boar was "Tooter," a purebred Berkshire boar who tipped the scales at 1080 lbs. He's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.

Oh, and don't forget about the butter cow.
Yes, a life-sized cow carved out of butter. Woot!

Should be a good 'ole time.


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