February 15, 2005

I Hate Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day sucks ass. Yep, I said it. I hate it.

It’s a corporate created fiasco. Let’s see…we need to create a holiday that will sell tons of cards, flowers, teddy bears and other foo foo stuff which will stress guys out beyond belief and send the hopelessly single into pits of depression. Let’s name it after a Saint – a Catholic priest or bishop who was beheaded on February 14. Let’s make the anniversary of his beheading the date for this holiday! YAY!

Another annoying thing is the candy/sugar aspect. They always have parties at preschool for these things, and my son comes home all hopped up on sugar with a bag of sugar to help him continue his buzz. I was lucky to get his ass in bed an hour late.

The thing I hate the most about Valentines Day is that it creates expectations – delusions of romantic notions, dreams of the perfect gift, the perfect evening, blah blah blah.

Why would a rational person like me think that someone otherwise incapable of “romancing” me should suddenly become capable one day a year? I mean, sometimes I think the man wouldn’t know romance if it hit him square in the face. I have no idea why rationality went astray, but I find myself disappointed once again.

I got Chris the popcorn popper that he's been wanting forever, a really nice box of Mrs. Fields decadent chocolates, a nice card and cooked him a kick ass dinner - marinated steaks, shrimp scampi, marinated garlic mushrooms...his favorite dinner.

Firstly – guys, DON’T ask your lady what she wants for Valentine’s Day! Duh! He comes to me Sunday afternoon and asks me just that. Well…something romantic would be nice. I tell him that jewelry is always good. His response is that I have a lot of jewelry already. All right…a plant for my office would be nice. He grumbles that he can’t give me chocolate and I pointed out that I saw some real yummy looking low carb valentine chocolate options while I was shopping…grumble grumble.

So, what did I get for Valentine’s Day this year from my man, friends and neighbors? A pen. Yes…an ink pen.

It’s green. Yeah, I do like green. Oh, and it’s refillable. He thought it would be cool for me to have a nice pen and that I would think of him every time I use it. Yeah, maybe…

Oh, and I got a card, too. The card was perfect. It pointed out that although he is not a suave or romantic guy (you think?), his heart is in the right place. You betcha. He nailed it with the card.

I just want to feel special. I want to feel cherished and adored. Appreciated. It doesn't need to be Valentine's day - hell, any time. I don't remember the last time I got anything sweet, sentimental or romatic. Hell, I don't remember the last time I even got flowers. Yes, I do...it was from Pod, the neighbor, on my birthday.

Does anyone know where a man can get lessons on how to romance a woman?


  1. I hate Valentine's Day too. I don't need a calendar to tell me when to be good to my woman. :)

  2. My wife got a card. I made it ALL BY MYSELF, though, so it meant more.

    She made me dinner and got me candy. Seems all backwards, doesn't it?

    I'm not a big fan of being forced to give things on holidays.

  3. Wow, an ink pen. Er... I am just gonna keep my mouth shut.

    Maybe next year? Ok, shutting up again...

  4. The first year I was married, I gave Mrs. O her gift unwrapped, still in the plastic bag it came in, receipt and all. Needless to say, the rest of the day went downhill from there. It took us four years to get Valentine's Day right, and another four to stop giving a shit about it. Forcing romance for one day just doesn't work' it's getting your head into it for the rest of the year that's hard.

  5. A pen.. Hmm.. Can't make a mule into a horse... or something like that.

    Well, not without shock therapy anyway.

    Yea, I agree with JP, you should need a day to tell you when to be good to your woman.

  6. I prefer to think of February 14th as the anniversary of my divorce (also known as my Divorce-aversary). That was the only Feb 14th in 13+ years when he didn't disappoint me.

  7. Uhm.....hmmm........maybe you should write down on a piece of paper what the definition of romantic is and then stick it to the mirror or someplace where he'll read it everyday and that way, when next year happens, he'll be more prepaired...maybe?

    Or maybe you should tell him that it was very thoughtful of him to get you a pen and that you wish he could be as thoughtfull ALL year long. Maybe he'll get the hint???

  8. I got a box of Whitman's chocolates. Which I am sure are gone now, because that's what men do. They buy us things they actually want themselves.

    Meanwhile I bought him sexy loungerie. Well, I bought me the loungerie, but we all know it was for him. And I made him chocolate chip cookies. hmmmm.

  9. I was happy to get a dozen roses. "I tried real hard" he says and all he came up with was roses. I'm not going to complain it's better then a few years ago when I got nothing not even a card. Hm a place men can be sent to learn how to be romantic... lets see... I'm thinking, hold on.... um.. aw well I can't seem to think of anywhere.

  10. Hitch, in theaters now.
    Sorry girl but hey, I'm in the same boat. If it weren't for my kids, Valentine's Day here would have been, well, Monday. So instead of all the romantic shit I missed out on by having a non-romantic, slightly challenged and terribly boring, husband, who just so happened to be out of town... the kids and I made valentines, a nice dinner and we baked cookies for each other. Sure it's a different kid of love but it just might have been the bestest darn Valentine's day yet.
    Lois Lane
    P.S. know that you are adored by many! (this statement comes complete with one Lois Lane - Dream house sold separately.)

  11. The real question is... does the pen light up??? I'm not one much for Valentine's Day ... I take that back, I HATE IT WITH A PASSION!!! But hey, at least he wanted you to think of how lame he is each time you use your new deluxe Celti pen!

    I mean that with humor, not to be mean.

    And that dinner sounds absolutely delish!!! You go girl!!

  12. Hi Celti I am on a quest looking for information on card e romantic. I ran across your blog doing a search and thought I would stop by to see if you had any information. Hey, it is nice to see that other people like the same things I do. Anyway thanks for the read.