April 24, 2005

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmmm....

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

Are Lipton Tea employees allowed to take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Do they put "bald"?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Why do they make bathroom stalls so small that you have to straddle the damn toilet to open the door?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?


  1. Hmmmmm....note to self: don't drink coke and read Celti's Sunday blog at the same time ~ cleans screen, keyboard & wipes face.
    Happy Sunday sunshine!

  2. *snicker*
    sorry 'bout that.

  3. "Why do they make bathroom stalls so small that you have to straddle the damn toilet to open the door?"

    Yes I'd really like to know the answer to this one! Even if you were a size 0 you'd still have to do that, and they have such a huge space inbetween them, like if they had two rows of bathrooms. The absolute worse place for this is the movie theatres.

  4. Now that is the perfect ending for a long long week.


  5. LOL!!! Ahhhh... a beautiful Monday!!

  6. Ahhh crap!! Damn Celti, so sorry to read about Pugsley. That's just plain shitty losing him and Pod so close together. At least the little guy isn't suffering and knowing you, he was most, most loved and you made sure he knew it.

  7. #1-Yes. Yes, it does.
    #2-Because they're called Holls, silly.