I couldn't help but notice that many of the subjects listed in my pig post involve a violent encounter with animals. Yet, I have always been and I remain an animal lover...hmmm. These are mostly little bits and pieces of memories:
Dog Bit my Lip
When I was a little girl, probably about 3 or 4, I loved dogs. A dog wandered into our yard, and squealing "puppy!" I ran right up to it to lavish it in love and affection. Unfortunately, this is not what the dog had in mind and he bit me – right on the face. He got me by the bottom lip. I still have several little scars to show for it right under my lip. It was my first lesson in the dangers of strange dogs.
Dog Bit my Ass
A little older and a little wiser, I knew that it was best to give strange dogs a wide berth. Sometimes, however, an encounter can’t be avoided despite your best efforts.
One fine sunny day, I was riding my bike around the neighborhood. There was this house up on the corner that had this big, mean collie. He would always run out to the end of his chain and bark and growl at you like he wanted to bite your head off. As I approached his house, I quickly became aware of the fact that he was NOT on his chain! Yipes! I picked up my speed and here he came, ready for the chase. Despite the fact that I was riding like the wind, he bit me square in the ass. Two punctures, nothing too serious, but I screamed like a banshee and I think I broke the sound barrier on the way home. To this day, I do not care for collies.
Dog Killed My Kitten
In high school, my sister's cat had kittens. I was allowed to adopt one of them as my own, and I chose a beautiful little blue eyed baby. She was wonderful. Living in the country, all of our cats were allowed to roam around outside. One morning, as I was leaving for school, my kitten was attacked by our neighbor's dog. This little shit picked her up, shook her like a rag doll and broke her back – all in about 3 seconds. He dropped her in a heap on our driveway, and looked at me as if he was proud of his accomplishment. I kicked the shit out of that dog. It is one of the only times I've ever done anything that could be considered cruel to an animal, but he had it coming, damnit.
Dog Ate my Coat
Years ago, I was dating a guy who had a little Sheltie. The dog was nice enough, but a little wary of strangers. It seems that he was a bit jealous of the attention that his owner was lavishing on me, however. One night, while we were upstairs in his room, the dog took his jealousy out on my leather jacket – my favorite jacket which I had bought in France. Yeah. He ate about half of the sleeve, and thoroughly chewed the bottom hem. Bastard.
It's a wonder I still love dogs, eh?
Goosed up a Tree
Growing up, I spent a lot of time on my friend Yvonne's farm. We would poke around and find fun things to do throughout the day, often co-mingling with the animals. ...but not the geese. Geese can be damned mean! Those suckers are pretty big, too, especially when you are a little kid. One day, this big white goose was particularly pissed off that we were messing around "her" pond, so she came after us. Snapping at my heels as I ran, it's fury was terrifying and I was convinced that it would rip my throat out if it caught me. Our nearest escape? ...a big tree by the pond. I climbed that tree like nobody's business with Yvonne right behind me. Unfortunately, we spent the rest of the damned afternoon up that tree because the goose wouldn't leave! She camped out under the tree waiting for us, evil bird. Finally, Yvonne's dad came out looking for us and shooed the goose away so we could come down.
Stories Yet to Come:
Bull Gored my Aunt
Cannibalistic Gerbils
Snakes & my Mom
Savannah Monitor/Baby Dinosaur
Mr Bean the Bunny
Completely Off Topic
A few people mentioned, in comments, that they didn't know what a cache is or what Geocaching is all about. I posted about it a few weeks ago (where were YOU? LOL) but you can find out all about it by clicking the little "let's go geocaching" icon in my sidebar or clicking here. It is SO much fun!
What does it feel like when you have low blood sugar? I think I had a bit of a bout with it this morning. I've been very, very good about my diet the last couple of days, and have consumed VERY few carbs or sugars. This morning, I woke up feeling swimmy, kind of dizzy and weak. I ate my usual scrambled eggs for breakfast and came to work, still feeling swimmy and kind of woozy. I fixed up a cup of cappuccino with real sugar (mmmmm…Irish Crème!), drank it, and now I am feeling much better. I wonder if my blood sugar was too low. Whacky.
