Yep...Celti took another dive this morning, friends and neighbors. It wasn't pretty. You only saw a tiny glimpse of it, too. Yeah, scary. The demons were kicking up thier heels and having a grand ole time at my expense. Fuckers.
I'm really tired of this rollercoaster ride, but haven't figured out how to slow it down enough to jump off. (Ironic, since I normally LOVE rollercoasters) Don't worry - I will, even if I have to lose a little skin and suffer some bumps in the process.
Your comments mean so much to me during these times (well, they always do, for that matter). Even if I don't respond, rest assured that they are read, absorbed, appreciated and remembered.
I wrote a post this morning and another yesterday that would have given you a much deeper look into that which brought me down. I shoved them into draft, though, as they just bared too much. Too dark, too pessimistic, too needy, too raw. No one wants to watch me bleed. It was and is theraputic, however, simply to write them. I still have them to look back at and reflect upon. It's good to do that.
I don't know where I'm going in this life, but I know I am going somewhere. It is up to me to navigate to the best of my ability, and I hope that my final destination is somewhere good - that I find my niche and have someone wonderful to share it with when I get there. I believe it will happen - perhaps that's what matters most. Patience, girl.
As often is the case, Sarah's lyrics say so much for me:
Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo knowing that you're loved no matter what
and everything will come around in time
from "perfect girl"