SASF - Tootsie Chickenbutt Edition

It's been way too dark and dreary around here (that would be inside my head). It's time for a little fun and goofiness!

Humana Humana
First, we have this little juicy tidbit that is credited for my "guffaw of the day."

As found over at Threadbared
"I don't know if it's the squinty eyes, the butterscotch combover, the manboobs, or his pre queer eye knack for putting together a look that pops, but this Tudor Jerkin guy is H-O-T. That handlebar mustache isn't hurting anything either. And what woman doesn't love a man who sees the world through amber colored glasses? Don't you just want to rip off this stud's belted horizontal ribbed sweater, red tie, pink textured stripe button down, and red lacy corset?" bwaaaahahahaha! Gawd, I love that place.

But WAIT! Could it be a young Captain Kangaroo?

*snort*

Another Edition of "Wierd Searches that have Found My Blog"
dun dun dun duuuuuuunnnnn. (oh, jeez, I'm really in one of those moods today.)

"tickled me until I peed" - yeah, my sister did that. It wasn't funny - for me.

"I am my own twin" - no I'm not, yes you are, no I'm not, yes you are. SHUT UP!

"live webCAM demon possession" - WTF?

"french erotic film" +pope" - bwaaahahaha! I want to see that!

"sadness" - yeah, too much of that going on here. ENOUGH!

"breast tattoo" - nope, don't have one, probably never will. ouch!

"picking, fleece, 17th century, England" - hey, don't be picking on Fleecey! She's a cool chick!

"masturbate-a-thon +photos" - There were photos? How did I miss that?

"hold you down and kiss you so hard" - ummmm...yeah!

"travelling head" - oh, yes. I am still on the waiting list. tick tock tick tock. I don't know if I'll ever get head.

"neurotically yours pulp fiction thingy" - was there one? Oooh, I have to see that, too!

Come to the DARTH SIDE

I'm still waiting for my chance to see Anakin finally succumb to the evil incarnate that he really is. ...that and to see Natalie Portman pregnant with twins. bwaahahah! No, really - I am looking forward to seeing the new Star Wars. D and I are going this weekend. He is a huge Star Wars fan - I'm sure he'll want to take his super-cool light sabre that lights up and makes that waaaahh waaaaahhh sound. :)

Speaking of Evil
Someone stuck a glazed donut in my face this morning and I ate it. It was gooooood. The people who make such things really should be isolated with all of their axis of evil bakery counterparts on a deserted island where they can all get fat together. Run awaaaaaay!

Thou Shalt Henceforth Be Called...
In the spirit of silliness, I ask that you humor me and do this:
A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Don't go all adult & hoity toity - leave me a comment with your new name, dangit! ;p

(The following is from a children's book, "Captain Underpants And
the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey, in which the
evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...)

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.
Or, using Aimee as an example since she hasn't been commenting here lately (ahem) - she is now Sleezy Bubbledoodle!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps
- Tootsie Chickenbutt

**UPDATE - 5pm**
I've been laughing about this all damn day. What fun!
So far, we have the following:
Celti – Tootsie Chickenbutt
Noonie - Snickle Frickenhump
JP - Cheesey Dippinsniffer
Cooter - Dumbo Chickentush
ESC - Dumbo Chickenbutt
Just Me - Goober Pottydunkin
Vince - Sloopy Gizzardbutt
Pup – Farcus Wafflebutt
Jamie - Sleezy Dippinbutt
Brighton - Dorky Gizzardlips
Inanna - Snickle Pottytush
Aimee - Sleezy Bubbledoodle
Lovisa - Sneezy Pottylips
Varla - Tootsie Dippenfanny
Helen - Boobie Farklebrains
Tim - Sleezy Dippindoodle
Esther - Tootsie Chuckletush
Myles - Dorky Chucklesniffer
Seamus - Sleezy Farklesniffer
Mike - Sleezy Pottydoodle
Kim - Dorfus Wafflebutt
Happy Funball - Sloopy Chuckledoodle
Tricia - Dorky Chickenlips
Michael - Sleezy Humperdink