The Fight to Stay Positive

It's no secret here that I fight with demons...all too often. It's times like these, like today, when I have a considerable amount of time to think, to reflect, that those bastards come crawling out of the shadows and attack me. They try to drag me down into the pits of despair, but I am stronger than them. I won't allow it.

I try so hard to focus on the positive things in my life. I have a wonderful son, who is my light and my heart and he brings so much joy to me every day. I never realized how empty my life was before he came into it. I have wonderful friends who care about me and love me for who I am. I have an amazing new person in my life who has helped me see the world in a more brilliant, beautiful light and who has made me realize that those regions of my heart which I thought had died long ago were merely sleeping. I am so thankful for all of these things. Without them, I am not sure that I would win these battles. I can only hope that I am capable of giving back, to these people, as much as they give me.

I can't let fear and anxiety overcome me. My situation is often not condusive to positive thinking, but it is certainly much more pleasant to dream than to spin in the in the vortex of angst. I have to remember that. It frustrates me and angers me when I can't turn myself around so easily. The struggle is exhausting but worthwhile.

One of those great friends sent this to me recently (thanks, Michelle!). It is just the kind of thing I need to see when I am struggling...

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open. (especially poignant for me)

So...I may occasionally post something dark, brooding, depressing and cryptic. It won't be pretty, but don't despair - I will work it out. This blog is my outlet for such encounters and you, my readers, get a very unique view into the enigma that is Celti. She is a strong and complex woman. She will prevail.