December 19, 2005

Kick Start My Ass

So, I'm not really a morning person. My life style, however, has forced me to conform - I am not particularly happy about this. I have to be up before the sun (gawd, that sucks), get my ass in gear, check my e-mail, check the weather, snarf down some protein (eggs, usually) and get the kid up, dressed, fed and off to preschool and myself to work by 8. It's a daunting task at times.

Yea, but this isn't what I intended to yap about today. My target subject (IF I can stay on task): Energy Drinks

Like many people, I need a boost in the morning. I like coffee, but since I don't have a bubbly barista waiting to serve me in my kitchen, it just doesn't fit well into my schedule. If I want to make a morning trip to my neighborhood Starbucks, I have to leave 15 minutes earlier, not to mention dealing with the overly friendly, bright and psychotic, patronizing drive through girl who makes me want to puke. "Bitch, I'm not in the mood for your bouncy shit, give me my coffee and shut up."

By the way, does anyone know how many carbs are in a pumpkin spice latte? I have a feeling I don't want to know.

So, I discovered Red Bull and have become a dedicated fan. This elixir of the Gods consisting of mostly Taurine, Glucuronolactone and Caffeine, give me a nice boost in the morning and gets me going. The problem is, it's got sugar in it - about 27 grams of it, in fact. You see, I'm on a low carb diet and I've been struggling lately to keep it rolling, so I'm looking to eliminate as many carbs as possible. My Austrian buddies make a sugar free Red Bull, but it has the evil aspartame (Nutrasweet) in it. Nutrasweet makes Celti VERY sick. No, no, no nutrasweet for me. Poo! My appeal to them to switch to Splenda has yet to be recognized.

Now, I like the taste of Red Bull. I decided, however, to try some of the other energy drinks on the market that are wise enough to make them with Splenda as opposed to Aspartame. I don't like soda pop and have a fairly picky palette, so I should have known this would be a challenge. Here is my report so far:

Monster Lo Carb: Eh, it's ok. It contains basically the same ingredients as Red Bull but with a little Panax Ginseng Root Extract added. Oooh, bonus! The flavor, on the other hand, is not so good. It tasted a bit like medicine and had that sweet syrupy taste that reminded me of Mountain Dew (ewwww). Moving along...

Amp: Ok, this shit tastes like someone took a mighty asparagus piss and threw a bunch of sweetener in it. Yuck! I could hardly stand to choke it down. No freakin' way am I buying this again. I guess I should have known - it's made by the Mountain Dew people. Blargh!

This morning's selection: Rock Star: Not too bad. Really, the best so far, I think. They've added a few extras, too, such as Carnitine, Ginkgo and some B vitamins. The taste isn't too bad, and they claim it will make me party like a rock star. (I wonder if they're affiliated with RockStar Games...?) Behold:

"Who the hell is this goon and...What? Smile? Ohhh kaaaay."

You know I had to include this picture of James Hetfield. Not necessarily because he's holding a Rock Star, but because he's sexy and...never mind.

Still in the fridge waiting to be sampled:
Sobe Adrenaline Rush
Full Throttle

Good Gawd, look at this list: Energy Drink Reviews

Holy crap, I've got my work cut out for me! Recommendations are more than welcome here, people.

Update, 10 a.m.: I'm feeling very energetic and enthused this morning. Coincidence or is it the Rock Star? Time will tell - I think I'll be trying that one again.


  1. Bleh to all energy drinks! I think Red Bull tastes like crap, girl. Don't know how you can choke down any of it. So my suggestion is this: get a new coffee pot. Y'know, one that has a TIMER on it. Then ya just gotta remember to toss in the grounds and the water the night before. The aroma of a good java might be enough to get you up in the a.m.

  2. I can't comment or help ya out on drinks... mainly I drink what I want despite my doctor's orders... oh well...

  3. I think it was the pic of James Hetfield. Meow.

  4. I think Cootera's got the best idea. But then, I don't drink coffee. How about if you drank ... water? God forbid. The other thing - I drink Diet Mountain Dew all day long and half the night, so what do I know ...

  5. I'm totally addicted to coffee... so I'm afraid to try energy drinks and get doubly hooked. Come to LA, I'll get you out w/me to the coffee shops... and I know where to go to find the not-so-perky baristas... even some surly ones, too.

  6. Where's the picture of me holding a Rock Star? Or better yet, the picture of the beautiful babe, holding me, the Rock Star! Yeah that's it.

    Can't move at all
    Can't hear my call
    I am dying to live
    Cry out
    I'm trapped under ice

    I'm sorry, what were we taling about?

  7. Energy drinks are a bit scary to me too, I mean really- what is that stuff?? Mixing it with Vodka seems like a bad idea too...

  8. I prefer coffee in the morning but I don't mind mixing Red Bull with liquor if I want to stay up. Mind you, it's been banned in certain places because it's caused heart attacks and whatnot.
    My only advice is to keep it away from the kid. Apparently kids who play sports or have to study for school are using this stuff to stay alert, and it's not good for kids.

  9. Redbull and Vodka is the drink of clubbers here in the UK. That is till the new Coke Blak comes out, a blend of Coke and Coffee and then there is Pepsi Capachino....

  10. Pepsi works for me...but I'm assuming the sugar content of it rules that out as a viable option for

  11. Cootera - To each his/her own, eh? Actually, there's a new coffeemaker under the tree right now...with a timer! Woot!

    Denny - you rebel. lol

    Nanner - mrowr!

    Indiaiynke - I drink water all day long after my morning pick-me-up.

    Michael - I used to be - so much so that I started having stomach problems because of it. I'd love to peruse the LA coffee shops with you. :D I actually appreciate the surly ones more. lol

    Vince - well, send me a pic and I'll post it, silly! heh

    Brighton - supplements. alchemy hocus pocus. lol

    Outburst - Just like any good thing, it can certainly be overdone. One at a time, thank you. Oh, the kid is not allowed to touch it. I don't even let im have soda pop!

    Wulfweard - Yep, it's good stuff if you want a buzz and to keep partying. Coke and coffee? Ewwwww!

    Mike - yes, waaaay too many carbs in there, and the diet is out of the question.

    Sorry for the silence, folks. I've been sicky sick & no internet at home. blah