Madness, I tell Ya!

I'm losing it, people. Really. Here's what I've been subjected to since noon:
I go home for lunch and my printer keeps jamming so I can't print what I wanna.
So, I get in the car to come back to work and my car won't start.
I fool around with it for 20 minutes and then it starts so I stop for gas and my debit card won't work.
damn!
I skip the trip to Office Max because I'm afraid to turn my car off.
I get back to work and print some shit off the Mac after finally getting the new fancy-schmancy printer configured and hooked up only to discover that it has a bad fucking drum and prints blue dots willy nilly on my stuff.
Gah!
Also, today, I was attacked by a minion of the flying spaghetti monster.
I dealt with odiferous pants (not mine!) and couldn't find my post-its.
I talked someone down from their battle with a melodic demon in his innards.
*snif*
I ate three cookies *sob*
happy onion pie and three toed blabbity monster poop.
...and can someone tell me what smegma is?



Oh YEAH!
AND...I've been tagged TWICE by memes! Ok, I'll get you
Owl, you're in for it now. ;)

The Seven Things Meme:

7 things I plan to do before I die:
Visit Scotland
Visit Ireland
Find a Delicate Balance
Achieve financial freedom
Go on a cruise
Attend Burning Man
See my son grow up to be a happy, responsible adult

7 things I can do:
make pretty things
run a household
sing
drive a race car
keep a 5 year old happy
write (when I apply myself)
prepare tasty dishes

7 things I cannot do:
tolerate apathetic ignorance
handle insomnia
be cruel to an animal
stop worrying about things I have no control over
eat liver
touch cotton balls
stop blogging

7 things that attract me to another person:
intelligence
eyes
smile
sense of humor
open mindedness
kindness
that certain je ne sais quoi

7 things I say most often:
Dag Nabbit!
Bloody Hell!
the answer is no
stop that, please.
git!
lol
gah!


The Three Things Meme:

3 names I go by:
Mom
My Real name
Celti

3 screen names I have:
Celti
Triplefire
celtic13cross

3 physical things I like about myself:
My hair
My eyes
Being designed so that I can't see my own butt

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
My butt
My thighs
My scalp

3 parts of my heritage:
Scottish
English
Irish

3 things that scare me:
Losing my Child
being completely paralized
sharks

3 of my everyday essentials:
My son
computer
caffeine

3 of my favorite musicians:
Sarah McLachlan
Prince
Brian Setzer

3 of my favorite songs:
Creed - Higher
Sarah McLachlan - Dirty Little Secret
Dido - Thank You

3 things I want in a relationship:
Passion (love being a given)
Laughter
Intelligent Conversation

3 lies:
I always remain calm
I am satisfied with where I am in life
I am a generally complacent person

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
Facial Hair
Broad Chest/shoulders
Strong Hands

3 of my hobbies right now:
Blogging
Making Pretty Things
Writing

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
Go on a Cruise
Snog Snoggity Snog
Go to Paris

3 careers I've considered doing:
Caterer/Own Restaurant
Theater
Paramedic/Nurse

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
Scotland
Ireland
The Greek Islands

3 kid's names I like:
Derrick
Isabelle
Gwendolynne

3 things I want to do before I die:
Time Travel
Teleportation
Go into Space

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy:
I make like I'm fine when I'm hurt
I can be ready to go anywhere in a flash
I like to be in control

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical girl:
I cry at sad movies
I love puppies and kitties
I like silky & lacey things

3 people I would like to see take this quiz:
Jamie R
HEPcat
JP

Optional Peeps!
*duck & dodge*