December 01, 2005

Madness, I tell Ya!

I'm losing it, people. Really. Here's what I've been subjected to since noon:
I go home for lunch and my printer keeps jamming so I can't print what I wanna.
So, I get in the car to come back to work and my car won't start.
I fool around with it for 20 minutes and then it starts so I stop for gas and my debit card won't work.
I skip the trip to Office Max because I'm afraid to turn my car off.
I get back to work and print some shit off the Mac after finally getting the new fancy-schmancy printer configured and hooked up only to discover that it has a bad fucking drum and prints blue dots willy nilly on my stuff.
Also, today, I was attacked by a minion of the flying spaghetti monster.
I dealt with odiferous pants (not mine!) and couldn't find my post-its.
I talked someone down from their battle with a melodic demon in his innards.
I ate three cookies *sob*
happy onion pie and three toed blabbity monster poop.
...and can someone tell me what smegma is?

AND...I've been tagged TWICE by memes! Ok, I'll get you
, you're in for it now. ;)

The Seven Things Meme:

7 things I plan to do before I die:
Visit Scotland
Visit Ireland
Find a Delicate Balance
Achieve financial freedom
Go on a cruise
Attend Burning Man
See my son grow up to be a happy, responsible adult

7 things I can do:
make pretty things
run a household
drive a race car
keep a 5 year old happy
write (when I apply myself)
prepare tasty dishes

7 things I cannot do:
tolerate apathetic ignorance
handle insomnia
be cruel to an animal
stop worrying about things I have no control over
eat liver
touch cotton balls
stop blogging

7 things that attract me to another person:
sense of humor
open mindedness
that certain je ne sais quoi

7 things I say most often:
Dag Nabbit!
Bloody Hell!
the answer is no
stop that, please.

The Three Things Meme:

3 names I go by:
My Real name

3 screen names I have:

3 physical things I like about myself:
My hair
My eyes
Being designed so that I can't see my own butt

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
My butt
My thighs
My scalp

3 parts of my heritage:

3 things that scare me:
Losing my Child
being completely paralized

3 of my everyday essentials:
My son

3 of my favorite musicians:
Sarah McLachlan
Brian Setzer

3 of my favorite songs:
Creed - Higher
Sarah McLachlan - Dirty Little Secret
Dido - Thank You

3 things I want in a relationship:
Passion (love being a given)
Intelligent Conversation

3 lies:
I always remain calm
I am satisfied with where I am in life
I am a generally complacent person

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
Facial Hair
Broad Chest/shoulders
Strong Hands

3 of my hobbies right now:
Making Pretty Things

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
Go on a Cruise
Snog Snoggity Snog
Go to Paris

3 careers I've considered doing:
Caterer/Own Restaurant

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
The Greek Islands

3 kid's names I like:

3 things I want to do before I die:
Time Travel
Go into Space

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy:
I make like I'm fine when I'm hurt
I can be ready to go anywhere in a flash
I like to be in control

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical girl:
I cry at sad movies
I love puppies and kitties
I like silky & lacey things

3 people I would like to see take this quiz:
Jamie R

Optional Peeps!
*duck & dodge*


  1. Smegma is natural man cheese(mix of dead skin cells, and oil). Do I need to go into more detail????

  2. If you MUST have more detail, look here.

    And you've been blessed by the Holiest of Holies? Have you been touched by his noodly appendage? Ramen!!!

  3. Celti,
    Mercury's in retrograde--brace yourself, it stays that way until the 5th.

  4. I'd like to take this time to personally thank you for not selecting me to do this. ;)

  5. I'm not even going to ask why you want to know what smegma is. But yes, Jamie's description is spot on.

    And wait, you cannot just brush over an FSM encounter. Seriously, was a noodly appendage involved?

  6. What a bad day for you! I hope today is much better! HUGS!!!!


  7. Well, since you don't appear to be in a fetal position sucking your thumb, it looks like you made it through. Hope your weekend is nice and relaxing.

  8. Ew. Smegma. Gross. But look how interesting life is!! *ducks*

  9. Jamie - actually, I really did know what smegma was, but I wanted to see how you guys would explain it. heehee

    Spc- oooh, can't wait to check out that link. (ewwww) I don't know if my strangulation was a blessing or not, but it did involve noodly appendages. Pic on today's post. Yikes!

    Serra - dang, I knew SOMETHING was up! thanks!

    Denny - You're welcome *making note for next time* heh

    Julie - See above. Just messing around in my madness. lol! Yes! Noodly appendages galore!

    Se7en - Eh, it's ok. I made it fun! lol

    Vince - no thumb sucking here. :D thanks, you too!

    Nanner - ewww is right! But yes, it is! *flailing* lol

  10. For a minute I thought that "Snog Snoggity Snog" was a song from Mary Poppins or something. (And I hope "go on a Cruise" doesn't mean, like, "Tom." You did use a capital letter!)

    Prince! Whadda guy!

    Anyway, glad that I managed to top off a crazy day with a little personal psychoanalysis. You can give yourself the bill. ;)

  11. Owl - I know derned well that you know what snog snoggity snog is. ;) ...would make Miss Mary blush, I suspect. lol
    Hell NO, I didn't mean Tom Cruise - I wouldn't go NEAR him - nuttier than a fruitcake.