December 16, 2005

SASF v.12.16

Whew. What a week. Sorry about that little hiatus there, folks. There are times when I'm just not in a place mentally that will allow me to post. I start one, scrap it, start another, scrap it...

I am dealing much better today than I have been all week. It wasn't even Christmas, really...I have that all taken care of, shopping done, all that, but it was just everything. Aw hell, there's no sense in trying to explain. Let's just get to the good stuff, shall we?

Dear Santa

December 24, 2005

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at HEPcat's Office party. It was Derek who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Roasting Chestnuts.

I thought it was funny when I put Owl's elf shorts on my head and danced the mexican hat dance on the couch while singing 'la macarena'. I didn't mean to break HEPcat's vibrator and don't know why she would accuse me of indecent exposure.

I don't remember calling Jamie's wife a bewildered monkey---even though she looked like one with white eye shadow and black lipstick! And when I threw up on Nanner's boyfriend's legs, it was only because I ate too much of that cheesecake.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stinky dog and have me arrested for OWI!

So, I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all silly and scandalous. And I'm really not to blame for any of this horrible stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Swimmingly Yours,
Celti (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 3 bucks!

Make your own letter to Santa here.

Awwww, Fart!

This is just too much fun. Some of them are damned gross, but let's face it - farts are funny and always will be. Thanks, Sid! Too bad they don't have a "fart of doom"!

Ads on Wheels

These trucks are from Germany. I thought they were way cool!


The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNITE!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. Shit", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

A Ditty 4 You

Man, this site is awesome. This guy takes issues that annoy him (or interest him, I suppose) then writes and performs little songs about them. They're a scream! You'll find gems such as "Graffiti Ain't Cool, You're Like 30", "Laugh Tracks Make Me Feel Lonely", and my favorite - "Cranberry, You're Fantastic" - a tribute to jellied cranberry sauce. *sigh* lol

15 Things & A Minute

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look - you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

A Minute:
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

Ok, some of it is a leaning towards the "honey dripping" side of things, but there are some good things to ponder there.

Thanks, Michelle!

Have a wonderful weekend, blog peeps and lurkers. Hope your holidays are going swimmingly. I wish you all warm cookies and hot chocolate, everything on your wish list and, mostimportantly, peace.



  1. Very cute cuckoo clock story, and I LOVED the trucks. So cool. I called you back a few weeks ago - did you get my message?

  2. yeah, that guy's ditty's are pretty entertaining.

  3. Again....

    We're having the same week. *HUGS* I'm glad I could SORT OF keep your chin up, hunny. I'm always thinking of you even if I'm not around to tell you so.

    Hang in there my celtic warrior. This too shall pass.

  4. Another great SASF sweetie!! Hope you're feeling much better today!! HUGS!!!!!!


  5. Hahahaha, I loved the cuckoo story. ROFLMAO!

    Glad to see you back in rare form.

    I am NOT done Christmas shopping yet. Ugh! Back to the trenches!

  6. hee hee hee... the cookoo clock... hee hee hee... that made me laugh.

  7. oh, and p.s.; i'm so glad you noticed the fart board. i don't think anyone else did. the fart board rules. i'm actually suprised they didn't have the "fart of doom" on there. maybe they're waiting for me to send them a sound bite. hee.