Elvis HasThe Bloggers Have Left the Building

Well, I'm home and my wonderful, adventurous blogger weekend is over. I put Aimee on a plane a few hours ago. I missed her before I got home which is only 10-15 minutes.

Had a fantabulous time. I'll have many stories of stoplight flashing, gourmet meal eating, shot pounding, snorting and knee slapping, diet cheating and more, but right now I am going to bed. We didn't get a whole lotta sleep this weekend and Celti is pooped.



Oh, and I think I broke my toe this morning while packing. ow

For now, Check out Nanner Peach's page for some of the dish on what, exactly, we were up to. Catch you on the flipside, peeps.

What Kind of Place Do You Think This IS?

Searches in the last few days that have brought the seeker (no, not that seeker) to my blog:

"c" - what is this? Who would search for just one letter? WHAT, exactly, are they looking for?

"fa" - this is a brand of soap that's popular in France. I like it, but I don't think I've ever talked about it here. They make awesome shower gels. Again, what are they really looking for?

"amazing contortionist" - I am a limber person, but a contortionist I am not. I talked quite a while back about Danny Boy the contortionist. That must be the link...

"blonde buttsex" - uhhhh...this is not the place you are looking for, folks. No buttsex here. I have no idea why it got them here unless it has to do with the "tucker tries buttsex" blog entry I linked to long ago. After paging through to page 26, I still didn't find my link. This person really must have been digging. ewwwww

"wierdest nude ladies" - bwaaaaahahaha! Again - no clue why it brought them to me, but welcome! LOL I am wierd, I am a lady, but I have never been seen here nude. I might be known to flaunt some cleavage from time to time, but an exhibitionist I am not. Maybe after another 50 pounds...

Thanks
My appreciation goes to those who offered kind words when I was down in the dumps yesterday. It angers me that I give one individual enough power to bring me down like that. I'm to the point where I'm ready to say "screw you" next time that happens, as I no longer wish to give him the right to drag me down like that. *stomps foot*

Meep!
It's another short attention span day, folks. I can't concentrate much on anything but this weekend - the big KC gathering is finally upon us. Aimee arrives at 6:00 tonight and in the morning we head out. It's supposed to be sunny and cold, so the roads should be good. I have a list about 3 miles long of stuff to do...clean out the car, vacuum, finish packing, get my oil changed, make crab dip... I'm at work but leaving at noon. Yipee!

We will try to post about our gathering some time this weekend. It will most likely be on Pup's computer, so check his blog out. I'll try to copy and post whatever here. We'll have digi cams, so maybe even a pic of our most likely drunk group. So, 24 hours from now Aimee and I will be on our way to meet Pup, Kate the Peon, Inanna, Evil Science Chick, & Jamie. Don't worry - we promise not to hurt Pup...unless he likes it that way, of course. Bwaaaaahahaha!

Might Just Let it Go

I know I said it's all right
But you can make it up next time
I know he knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying

Maybe he thinks I know something
Maybe he thinks it's fine
Maybe he knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

I know he loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with his sleeping eyes
And I know that when he said he's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know he usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em,
nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe he'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me down


*sigh*
I hurt today...emotionally. I just can't win some times. I'm so very, very tired of trying. I just don't have the energy any more. I am tired of just letting things slide and internalizing the hurt and putting on a happy face when I'm not fucking happy, damn it.

Wow...crying really is hard on the skin under my eyes.

I hope this weekend gives me the refresher that I need so very badly so that I can dive back into my life with a fresh perspective. I don't think I'm going to be gone long enough...


Update - an hour later. Just got a phone call and an apology. Doesn't change much, but I suppose, for what it's worth, I feel a little better. I'll be ok. I always am.

Stoopid Quiz from Bondage Chicken

Hey, Bandwagon...Slow down! *hop*
Let's just get this out of the way before someone forces me to comply.
...and, it's convenient because I got nothin'


3 names you go by:
1. Celti
2. Pati
3. Peppermint

3 screen names you have:
1. celtic13cross
2. triplefire
3. celticcross

3 things you like about yourself:
1. my hair
2. my eyes
3. my sense of humor

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. my dry skin
2. my allergies
3. my tendency to be too hard on myself

3 parts of your heritage:
1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. English

3 things that scare you:
1. radical Muslims
2. losing someone I love
3. ignorance

3 of your everyday essentials:
1. blog
2. red bull
3. protein

3 things you're wearing right now:
1. black jeans
2. black maryjanes
3. my fave black bra

3 of your favourite bands/artists:
1. Linkin Park
2. Jack Johnson
3. Sarah MacLachlan

3 of your favourite songs at present: (in no particular order, and I will remember better ones after I submit this)
1. Jack Johnson - Rodeo Clowns
2. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
3. Linkin Park - In the End

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. See Sarah MacLachlan in Concert
2. meet other bloggers (check!)
3. lose more weight

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Good sex
2. Communication
3. a best friend

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
1. I hold the title of female video game champion of the USA for 1984
2. I am a member of MENSA
3. I am a bead freak

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
1. nice smile
2. smells good
3. able to move & groove

3 things you just can't do:
1. play the guitar
2. quit consuming caffeine
3. advanced algebra

3 of your favourite hobbies:
1. blogging
2. beading
3. gardening

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. attack a certain someone (not in a bad way)
2. eat an entire loaf of garlic bread
3. drink a big fat mocha latte

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider):
1. opening my own restaurant
2. sugar daddy arm decoration
3. manager of Linkin Park Underground

3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Greek Islands
2. Scotland
3. Ireland

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. Isabelle
2. Trinity
3. Derrick

3 things you want to do before you die:
1. visit ancestral homelands (Scotland, Ireland)
2. achieve financial security
3. develop a positive relationship with my sister

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
1. Seven
2. Lois
3. Inanna

Longest.Week.Ever

Listening to: Rodeo Clowns - Jack Johnson

This is going to be a really long week. Damn. This Thursday my bestest buddy Aimee is flying in to Des Moines. I'll pick her up at the airport for the next 3 whirlwind days of fun that lay ahead. I am so ready for this little get-away. SO ready.

It was a good weekend. Got a lot of house cleaning and laundry done and things were peaceful for the most part. We still have lots of snow on the ground, so we made the biggest damn snowman I've ever seen yesterday. He was about 6'5" and his base was massive. The conditions were perfect for snowmen - and snowballs. heh heh...I said balls. Oh shit, my dirty mind is going to get me in trouble.

Saturday I did a little touch-up on my hair. It turned out a lot more strawberry than I wanted. Oh well. I guess it looks ok. I certainly do look Irish. LOL

I am so frustrated by this freakin' thing I'm trying to print at work. It's a big banner - 6' long, 24" wide, 370MB so it's LARGE. It won't print right! I've tried photoshop, publisher and now I'm trying illustrator. The damned thing keeps printing sideways. What I don't get is that, at an even larger size it printed fine. Now I've made it smaller and the damned thing won't cooperate. I've now tried so many different combinations of dimensions, landscape vs. portrait...it just won't work. ...and with a 5-10 minute load time and 20 minute rip time, that's a lot of time wasted. My boss is sweating me for it. I'm about ready to take the damn printer out the front door and throw it in the river. I might just consider jumping in after it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!

I'm stressing and it's making my stomach hurt. Blargh.

Have I mentioned yet that I think Jack Johnson is brilliant? Where has the world been hiding this man? ...or have I just been under my rock too much? Probably the latter. I recently discovered him and I love his music. You should check it out. He does a lot of fun stuff with Ben Harper. And, he's mighty good looking! Certainly can't hurt - tee hee. He's just so smoooooth. Soothe my savage beast, Jack...

Short Attention Span Friday

Zip It!
What is the deal with these pants? The pants I have on today are backwards - no, the zipper is not in the back, they are reversed so that the flap over the zipper goes to the left instead of the right. I have to zip them up using my left hand, which is apparently retarded. I really thought that I was fairly dexterous with both hands, but I have a hell of a time zipping them with my left. If I try to use the right, it gets caught up and it just doesn't work. They're loose enough, maybe I'll try to just slide them down and not unzip them next time. Hey! Cut that out! I'm talking about going to the restroom!

Ditch It!
There are several of my beloved blogger friends who have decided to hang up their blogger hats here lately. You'll find them on my sidebar under "bloggers who have left the building." I keep them there so that I can check every once in a while to be sure that they haven't changed their mind (sad but true). Although, I might have to move Count Chocolat back up since her's may have been a false alarm (yay!).

Dastard, on the other hand, seems to have simply fallen off the face of the earth. Sure, I hook him up with this big, fancy birthday tribute and pull all of these others into it and then he ditches us all like so much bad fruitcake. Pffft! People, if you are going to quit blogging, common courtesy would dictate that you should actually say so on your blog so that people are not envisioning you being run over by a bus or something.

Flaunt It!
My sister-in-law started the South Beach diet a few months before me. She has lost a bunch of weight, and was sweet enough to pass along some of her clothes to me that she can no longer wear. They fit very nicely and are awesome! YAY! New wardrobe for Celti and FREE! Toni Jo ROCKS! I'm wearing one of my new shirts today and feeling mighty special. YAY!

Rub It!
...my worry rock, that is. I'm thinking and worrying a lot about Big Jay today. His lady, Jasmine, who is pregnant with twins, has been bleeding and cramping and they think she may have miscarried. They had an ultra-sound scheduled for this morning to see if they're still alive and still there. We, in blogland, are all waiting to hear the news. UPDATE - the twins are reported to be just fine! Excellent news. That, or as rumor has it, the entire thing is one big made up story. Could go either way.

Plow It!
Well, they finally plowed my damn road. It's about time! I was beginning to think that they had taken a few days off before finishing the job.

Dig It!
My phone, when dialing in speaker mode, makes these noises each time you push a number. It's kind of a poinking, plunk type noise. I love it! It's just one of those fun little sounds that amuses me when I hear it. Yeah, I'm wierd. So what? If you've been here long, you already knew that!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps!

Dig It!

We woke up this morning to a wonderful 15" thick blanket of snow. Welcome to winter in Iowa! Oh, how badly I wanted to snuggle back down under that blanket and never come out. Alas, I had to go to work. I can't start out January by calling in and being a wimp.



My dog, Pugsley, is only 20 lbs, about 18" tall or so. He is not fond of the snow - it's like he doesn't know what the hell to do when I take him out. I drop him in the yard, and the snow is up to his chin. It's like it paralyzes him - he'll just stand there and shiver. If you leave him out there long enough, he'll flip over on his back, stick his paws up in the air and whine until you come pick him up. It's one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen. The biggest problem, however, is that he won't do his business! He'll pee right then and there, but he will not poop. I guess he can't squat. LOL I'm sure I'll find a little surprise package at the bottom of the stairs tonight. Thanks, Pugs. I guess I'll have to scoop out a little place for him to poo. Spoiled brat.

So, I get dressed, get the kid up and dressed, find my boots, bundle up and go outside to my car which looks like a giant marshmallow. I find the door handle and pop open the door to get my snow brush. I start it up with the defroster cranked, and proceed to brushing the stuff off. Mind you, this is while wading through a good 2-3 foot drift which has formed around the car. I get it cleaned off, go inside and bundle up the kid and off we go. He, of course, doesn't want to get in the car - he wants to play, so I chase him through the yard as he giggles with delight at the new winter wonderland mother nature has provided.

We park off the alley behind our house. This alley can be quite trecherous when it snows like this. Getting out without getting stuck is quite a feat - it's all about maintaining your momentum and letting gravity work with you.

I put the car in gear and gun it in reverse to get all the way out there or I'll be stuck. Success! There is a slight incline, so getting out of the alley is no sweat as long as you go the right way. We slide down to the end where there is a T intersection with another alley. Before getting to the T, you have to gun it again to make it around the corner or....you guessed it...you get stuck. Woo hoo! We made the corner. Now, down the hill and to the street. There is a big depression where the alley meets the street, so you have to gun it again to get over that or...well, you know. I gun it down the hill, praying that no one is coming, and weeee! We make it through. One more challenge - the end of the alley to the main thoroughfare. As I come down the hill, I see that the dickhead that lives down there has plowed out his driveway, leaving a huge pile of snow where? In the alley. Jerk. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I have no choice. I got for it, and we make it through the pile and out onto the plowed street. The closest street that has been plowed so far, mind you, is 2 blocks from my house.

Derrick and I celebrated with multiple woots and cheers and a "that was fun, Mommy!" Now, well just have to figure out how to get home. Let's just hope that, by that time, they will have finally plowed our street. If they have, then we get the joyous task of digging out the sidewalks. YAY!

I leave you with this little gem for your amusement: Ice Scraping

WHY?

There were two stories in the news this morning that really made me stop and ponder.

One was about the fact that Arab media sources are reportedly trying to blame the South Asia tsunami disaster on the United States and Isreal! WTF? They are saying that it was caused by American/Israeli nuclear testing. I can't believe the amount of seething hatred that they must have in their hearts to come up with shit like this. I am simply stunned.

The other one was about this crackhead woman who has 7 children (who have been taken away from her), 3 of which tested positive for cocaine when they were born. A judge has ordered her to stop having children until she proves that she can care for the ones that she already has, and now a big controversy is brewing. I really agree with the judge completely on this one. There is no way this woman should be allowed to have another child. I think that women like this should be given those birth control shots so that they cannot conceive - not just ordered not to get pregnant. She is obviously to ignorant, irresponsible or both to use birth control. I would like to know what the consequences will be if she does have another child and what is being done to help her prevent bringing another crack baby into this world.

This brings to mind some of the questions that go unanswered - life's mysteries that I ponder way to often...

Why is it that we have to get a license to own a dog, but any idiot can have a child?

Why is it that, even though I never twist the handset around (or even stand up while talking on it, for that matter) when on the phone, my phone cord gets all twisted up beyond belief?

Why do my cat and my dog insist on accompanying me to the bathroom when I go?

Why do people, at the last minute, veer off into the right lane to wait out the stop light so that I can't turn right on red?

What is up with those shoes you see laying in the street? This one really bothers me. I have noticed, time after time, that I will often see one single shoe laying in the road. Where do they come from? Where is the other shoe? And the biggest question is - WHY IS IT THERE? Didn't this person realize that they just lost a shoe? Why didn't they go back and get it? Did someone get hit by a car and whoever took them away forgot their shoe? How in the world did they lose it - were they riding along with one foot hanging out of the window???

I Took the Red Pill

Last night, in the midst of an ice storm, I was swept out of my bed and taken away by a handsome, mysterious man. It soon became clear that it was my friend, Erich. He told me that we were in danger, and that he needed my help in order to save all of the righteous. I got dressed as he stuffed guns in a big duffle bag and we slid down the front stairs and jumped into his car, my incredulous look being met with "let me explain."

The next thing I know, we are in this huge, fancy mall and we are being chased. We are doing our best to hide our guns in our clothes so that the cops won't see them. If the cops see them, they will arrest us (or shoot us) so we won't be able to accomplish our objective - to kill all the tweekers. We are chasing the tweekers, but the cooks are chasing us to keep us from killing all of their customers. Did you know that it is really hard to run with a very large gun shoved down the back of your pants? The entire time, I think I was more afraid of shooting myself or losing my gun than I was of the cooks that were chasing us. Man, I did not want to lose that gun - it was my favorite - a Ruger Super Redhawk 44 mag. Bad.ass.gun.

All of the people in the mall seemed completely oblivious to our situation, the fact that we were packing, the fact that we were running - really to our existence at all. As I passed them and looked at their faces, they were sheep with human bodies, wandering aimlessly thought the shopping mall of life.

There were several close calls where the cooks would pop shots off at us, and things like colums and potted plants would explode next to us. We greased several tweekers, and they were like zombies, still coming at you after the first few shots nailed them. It took about 6 shots to take one down.

The cooks were closing in, so we escaped from the mall by jumping into this huge tube. It was like a giant ventilation shaft, round, going straight down into the dark. Having no idea what was at the bottom, I grabbed Erich's hand and down we fell.

Then, I woke up. It was one of the the wierdest dreams I've ever had.

What did YOU do last night?

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

My mind is a swirl of thoughts today. I guess it's new years coming up, the busy holiday season and a whole variety of other elements combined that is making things spin at a rate much quicker than normal. Prepare for much rambling...

We're having a New Years Eve party, so there are lots of preparations to be made. How in the hell am I going to get the house cleaned up in time? Ug. We would really like to invite Kim & Chad, but Matt & Liz are coming. See, Matt and Kim used to be a couple, and it ended badly. Chad was next in line, so Matt does not like Chad to say the least. It would just be too tense. It sucks because it would be so nice to have all of them there. I hate having to choose.

I was smart and made the crab dip last weekend, so it is in the freezer all ready to thaw and serve. I am doing the little smoky weenies in bbq sauce that are always such a huge hit (not to mention no carbs) and we're making a plethera of ham balls. Last night, we ground 9 pounds of ham and added 14 pounds of ground pork to it. Damn, that's going to be a lot of ham balls. LOL We add eggs and bread crumbs, and then bake them basted in a wonderful brown sugar sauce that is out of this world. Yeah, I know...not carb friendly, but you gotta live. Matt & Toni are bringing a shitload of cheese from Wisconsin (yes!), so we'll have a monster cheese tray and who knows what else. I, of course, will be having margaritas.

Pugsley isn't getting any better. He had another seizure Christmas morning - that's what I woke up to, in fact. Poor guy. He seems to be more disoriented as the days go on and he seems to be losing his sense of what is where, frequently bumping into things. He is completely blind now. A few days ago, he was in the front yard doing his business and fell off of the terrace onto the driveway. I guess it's back to the leash. I have a feeling that he won't be with us much longer. It will be very hard for Derrick to cope with when we lose him, as he and Pugsley are best buddies. This lesson about death will be much tougher to deal with than the last, though I am glad that his first exposure to losing a pet was only a stupid fish. I think that will help him some with understanding.

Pugsley's impending demise makes me ponder my own aging. I'm not a kid anymore, and I am starting to see those little signs in the mirror. When I was getting ready this morning, I noticed that I am looking more and more like my mom as time goes by. The lines in my forehead no longer disappear when I stretch it out, and there are crow's feet forming. Oh, father time, you're a cruel bastard. Leave my frickin' face alone!

I am so excited because our little blogger party is coming up so soon! Aimee is flying in on Thursday night (the 13th) and spending the night at my house. I'll have to thoroughly vacuum everything so that my cat doesn't make Aimee miserable with her allergies. Keeping the benedryl handy, just in case. I feel bad that we don't have a spare bedroom to put her up in, but our house is small and full. The couch really is quite comfortable - I have slept on it. It also is a hide-a-bed, so I'll give her the choice of fold out or sleeping on it as a couch. The next morning, after dropping Derrick off at pre-school, we'll head out for Kansas City. We'll pick up Bunsen and Inanna at the airport on our way into town.

This is my first "get away" since Derrick was born, believe it or not. I am SO excited. I am a little nervous though, because I know Derrick will miss me terribly as I will him. He's stayed at Grandma & Grandpa's for the weekend before, but I've never gone away and left him with Dad. They'll do just fine, I'm sure. Sounds silly, I know, but I love our bedtime rituals, constant hugs and kisses and the way he crawls in bed with me and wakes me up with snuggles in the morning. I will miss him so much. Aimee had better watch out as she might have a drooling, sleeping Celti snuggling up to her. LOL

In KC, we reserved a hotel suite that sleeps 6, and there will be 5 of us there - Aimee, Bunsen, Jamie, Inanna and myself! Katey will be coming in the night before and we'll hook up with she and Pup after we get checked in. I think Pup is cooking dinner for us Friday night - woo hoo! Lucky Pup with 6 ladies in his apartment. He'll be in bear heaven. LOL

Not sure what else we'll do while we're there...would like to go out clubbing at least one night. Otherwise, we're just going to hang out and enjoy each other's company. Should be a blast. Is it nutty of me to have already started packing? LOL

Tattoo of the Day

Today's tattoo is dedicated the the 40,000 + souls who lost their lives as a result of the earthquake and tsunamis in Southeast Asia and their loved ones. It is a mourning dove. My heart goes out to them all. May they find peace.

What Can We Do?

I feel so helpless. 23,000 dead and counting. On Christmas day!

If you haven't heard, there was a massive earthquake right off the coast of Indonesia on Saturday - a 9.0 on the richter scale. A 615 mile plate shifted, creating immense tsunamis to form - these huge waves (some over 30 feet high) hit the coasts of Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, Malasia and others with no warning on a beautiful, sunny morning.



I'm worried about Pup's sister - she lives in Thailand but I don't know where. I've been trying to call him since I heard the news and he isn't answering. I hope that's not a bad sign. I am also worried about my friend Rani who lives in India. Last I knew she was living in Delhi, so she should be safe. Let's hope she wasn't vacationing on the coast.

I can't give blood - well, I can, but it wouldn't get to those who so desperately need it. There are so many people who's homes were destroyed. They have nothing. What in the world could I send to them to help? Millions of people have been displaced. It's overwhelming. Humanitarian aid is on it's way from all over, but I just have this feeling that I should do something and I have no idea what to do. They are so far away.

Video I saw of this woman clutching the body of a dead child (her's, I assume) and screaming has haunted me for the last 24 hours. I cannot imagine the shock and pain that so many people there are experiencing right now. I can feel it in my bones. I clutched my son as I watched the news, him squirming and looking at me like "dang, Mom, what's wrong?". I couldn't tell him - I just hugged him some more.

Happy Holidays, Dear Bloggers

The new year is approaching, and a lot of us take this time to reflect on the year that is almost past and the upcoming year. Today, I am doing just that. (Warning - sappiness ahead. LOL)

This year, I started blogging. I was bored at work, surfing the internet for something to do when I came across a blog. What's this? How very interesting! She had links to other blogs, which I followed and discovered the world of blogging. Soon, I created my very own, this one. This is my original. Although I have a few others (Celtic Cross Tattoos, an About Me that I never finished) and some group ones that I contribute to (evil recipes, beatdown...) this is my blog home.

I have met so many wonderful friends through blogging. Some people not involved in the blogging world don't understand and think I'm nutty when I talk so fondly of my "blog friends." They way I look at it is that I know some of them better than I know my friends who live right here in my town. I feel this way because I talk to most of these blog friends every day - through reading their blog posts, comments, IM, e-mail, some even on the phone. At times I go for weeks without talking to many of my home town friends. We bloggers share our hopes and fears, tragedies and celebrations. You are a big part of my life.

Just think of it - through blogging we are no longer limited by geography. We choose to "hang out" together in the blog-o-sphere. We have literally thousands of potential friends to choose from and we get to hand pick the very best ones for our own. Each and every single one of you on my links are exceptional people with interesting things to say. You are, to me, the cream of the crop. ...and the new ones who come here are welcomed with open arms, carrying the promise and potential of another cherished friendship.

Happy Holidays, my friends. I am a much better person for having known you this year and I look forward to the year 2005.

*smooch*

Boogie Woogie Christmas

It snowed yesterday! YAY! Looks like we'll have a white Christmas since the forecast is for cold cold cold until then. Derrick so badly wanted it to snow...he was exstatic. There is nothing more beautiful than the pure joy of a child throwing his arms up to the sky and opening his mouth to welcome the big, fat snowflakes.

After dinner, we went outside to play. I fell on my butt twice and laughed like a maniac. The second time, though, I jammed my pinky finger and it really hurts today (let's hear a collective "awwwwwwww"! LOL) We made a snowman. He doesn't have a head now, though, because when I was trying to jam things into him to make a face his head exploded. Yes - exploded. Kerpow. The headless snowman (sounds like some kind of stupid horror movie). Oh, well...we'll give him a new head tonight. We rolled in the snow, had snowball fights, and made angels. Weeee!

I've been enjoying my new CD - Brian Setzer Orchestra, Boogie Woogie Christmas. I adore BSO and Brian Setzer - been a fan of his since the Stray Cats. He is one cool cat. I saw them in concert a few years ago (BSO, that is) and it was fantastic!

But, my biggest news of the day is this....(insert drumroll here). I HAVE LOST 52 POUNDS! Woo Hoo! I can't tell you how happy I am with this diet and how things are going. I'm going to get me some new clothes because things are really starting to sag and droop. Maybe I should have put suspenders on my Christmas list. I did get a nice scale from my mom (isn't that just like a mom?) so now I can weigh every day and keep better track of my progress. I hadn't weighed for like a month so I was quite surprised. It is really strange - I don't feel that much thinner or see it when I look in the mirror, but judging by my clothes it has to be true. How does one go about adjusting their body image? Ideas?

'Tis the Season For...

Sugar!
So, I met friends at IHOP for lunch today. Who's friggin' idea was that? DANGER! Carb city, man. I had a bacon, mushroom & cheese omelet and it was very good. I gave the pancakes to spankmonkey and it wasn't even painful. We had a jolly good laugh when John asked what kinds of syrup I had at my elbow...let's see...strawberry, raspberry, dingleberry... He chose dingleberry. Bwaaahahaha! Giving the pancakes away seemed a bit pointless, though, since I ate several of the Christmas yummies the neighbor brought over yesterday. Damn her! But how can you turn away a plate full of cookies, fudge, peanut butter balls and umpteen other kinds of sugar-bombs? I sent them to work with Chris today. Be gone with them!

Procrastination
I finally got my Christmas cards in the mail today. Nothing like putting it off until the last minute. At least I'm not so pathetic that I didn't get them out so they could arrive on time or not at all. I was, however, a baking maniac this weekend...I made 20 loaves of banana bread on Saturday. Yes - 20. That would be 6 batches thankyouverymuch. Some with nuts (male), some without (female) *snicker*. It is diet-friendly bread, though...sweetened with Splenda (all hail the makers of Splenda) and wheat flour instead of white, so the damage will be minimal. Everyone but Derrick is getting banana bread. HA HA

Spoiling your Kid Rotten
Derrick is making out like SUCH a bandit this year. Oh, dear, I fear we have gone overboard once again. He's getting about 6 Rescue Heros, Rescue Hero Jet that turns into a headquarters thing, Rescue Hero police car, Rescue Hero dune buggy & 4 wheeler, GI Joe helicopter & hummer with characters, Imaginext Bravemore Castle & deluxe Pirate Raider...the list goes on. This kid is going to lose his mind. We have certainly lost our freakin' minds.

Being Distracted
So far today, I have accomplished exactly 2 tasks that were directly related to work. I've been here 4 hours now. Hey, I still haven't read so-and-so's blog and was going to google that thing that I was thinking...

Short Attention Span Friday

Due to my wonderful blogger friend Sloth's recent announcement of her "retirement" from blogville, I am adopting her short attention span tradition in her honor. Yay! It's short attention span Friday!

Today I bring you: Tales of the Sick, Bizarre and Stupid

Squeeze Play?
This morning, on the way to work I witnessed an act of sheer stupidity. I was sitting waiting for a green light behind many cars (probably 20 or so) when this idiot in a white FIERO (yes, Fiero) comes up on the left, passing all of us in the ONCOMING LANE. There was traffic coming! Anyway, he wanted to get into the gas station that was on the corner, and he made it in time before getting squished by oncoming traffic. However, after pulling up at the pumps, the door opens and out of the Fiero comes this HUGE man - I'm talking like a 400 pounder. It was so funny. Itty bitty car, great big guy! Bwaaaahahaha!

Passive Agressive Nazi Gardeners, I Say!
Seems that the Victoria City Council hired some gardeners to arrange some potted flowers of purple and white in some garden beds downtown. The intention was to arrange them in nice, eye-catching geometric shapes. Six of these garden beds, however, were left in the shape of swastikas...during a time when the city was hosting hundreds of Jewish people to celebrate the eight-day Hanukkah festival! They are claiming that it was an accident and they didn't realize what the shapes "inadvertently" formed. Yeah, riiiiiight, whatever. Idiots.

OMG, What is THAT in the Road!?
Not too long back, I got fed up with this stupid pillow and decided to get rid of it. The fabric was printed so that it was a rainbow trout, about 5 feet long but very similar to this picture. The damn thing had been around too long and was starting to come apart...seams splitting and his tail got ripped partially off in a pillow fight. It was time for the trout to go. I asked Chris to get rid of it, and what does he do? He put the damn thing in my car! So I go out to go to work, and here's the damn fish! There is this park by the river that I cut through on the way to work to avoid a daily traffic jam, so, on a whim, I threw the fish pillow out of my car in the middle of the street. I drove away laughing, thinking of the reactions of people who will come across this giant trout laying in the middle of the road in this park! Bwaaaaahahaha! What I would have paid to see/hear their reactions!

We love the Moon!
My son informed me, last night, that the moon is his girlfriend. Uhhhh...what? I guess that's ok with me.

Pugsley
Well, I couldn't get so lucky as to have Pugsley's seizure be a fluke. He had another seizure yesterday when I was home for lunch, so off to the vet he went. They did a bunch of tests and everything came back normal, so they're assuming that he is epileptic. I now have a prescription for phenylbarbitol to go fill for him. Two pills a day...oh joy!

Bad Hygene Gone Too Far
Check this out... dude claims that he dumped his canoe over in a river, and lost all of his clothes (except for the ones he had on). He spent the rest of his trip in the same clothes, damp and dirty for 6 days. When he arrived home, he found this plant growing out of the lint in his belly button. WTF? A seed must have gotten in there and germinated. There are more pics over at his page. This is among the wierdest things I've seen in a while.

Have a Happy Friday and Wonderful Weekend, Peeps!

Tattoo of the Day

I know, I know...I've been neglecting my tattoo goddess duties.

I present:

Proudly sported on the hip of none other than the goddess Inanna Moon. Kick ass!

the Answers

...to the world's most confounding mysteries, right here Ladies and Gentlemen! LOL

not really

just the answers to your questions from my previous post. :)

My responses in bold italics...


jp (www) said:

Ok, I'll bite. No, really I will. Guard your neck. Oh, you tease ;)

A.
(1) Friday Night Lights - The best HS football movie ever made. Excellent stuff. Hmmmm...not real big on sports movies, but I'll check it out on your recommendation.
(2) The Summons - John Grisham at his best. A very quick read, but a great story. Oooohh, I like Grisham.
(3) Eminem - Encore - Slim Shady's newest is very well done, although you have to listen to it more than once to appreciate it. I've heard it is very good and have been meaning to scope it out.
B.
(1) How's it hanging? A little lighter these days ;)
(2) Are you ready for Christmas? Darn tootin! I have just a couple of little piddly things to get, but no big deal. A lot of banana bread to cook, though.
(3) Can I get sloppy seconds on that rice krispy treat in your sidebar? Certainly! Though I think it's a ricecake.



Derek (www) said:

A.
1. Disorganized Crime. Is just flat out funny. I should watch it tonight. I will check that out
2. Books...Books...I'm sure that your local newspaper will suffice. I get my news online - foxnews.com & msnbc.com mostly
3. The Coasters "50 Coastin' Classics" from Rhino Records. Far out, man!
B.
1. Where are my taquitos? En el Mexico or in the fryer
2. What did you get me for Christmas? A swift kick in the arse. LOL Just Kidding
3. That's not a rice krispy treat, it's a cookie, isn't it? What's doin' the humping, a turd? I think it's a ricecake...or maybe oatmeal cookie. It's the little monster that's taking over fark.com.



Aimee (www) said:

A. 1. "The Usual Suspects". Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, it's still awesome. Or if you're not in the mood for that one, try "O Brother Where Art Thou?". Also always good. Or if you have the boy at home and want to keep him entertained as well, go for "The Princess Bride". Oh, I love the Princess Bride (have it in my library) and O Brother Where Art Thou? is one of my favorites! I haven't seen the Usual Suspects, though...so a renting I will go. lol
Man, I can't even make it through the first piece without breaking the rules! Sorry.

2. "Ahab's Wife". I could not put it down. Fantastic read! Hmmmm...cool!

3. "Blues for Allah" by the Grateful Dead. It's perfect for a lazy Sunday morning. I love the Dead, but haven't heard that album. Sweet!

B. Can I get back to you on these questions? You pretty much answer all my questions all the time anyway... You have a good point there.



Omega (www) said:

(A)
1. 'Memento'; second reccomendation, "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me'. They'll be put on the list.
2. Anything by Andrew Vachess, the best noir writer of the past twenty years. His books start with 'Flood'. Noir....groovy!

3. Faithless, 'No Roots'. Hmmmm...never heard of them. Interesting.
(B)
1. What is your earliest memory? I would have to say it was when we were playing dress up with the neighbor girls. They dressed me up in a little sailor girl dress and made a huge fuss over how cute I was. I wore that dress for like 3 days. That, or when my big sister ripped my arm out of the socket. hmmmpf.
2. If you could have a house anywhere in the world, where you live? The Greek Island of Santorini
3. What celebrity do you think you most closely resemble? Hmmm...that's a tough one. I don't know - Cybil Shepherd or maybe Charlize Theron on a bad day? LOL


Tricia (www) said:

1) Practical Magic Love that movie!
2) The Feast of All Saints Anne Rice Added to the list
3) The Roots- the seed http://www.okayplayer.com/theroots/ I'll check it out


1) Who is your favorite actor? Johnny Depp
2) If you have a daughter what will you name her? Isabelle
3) a) Do you still have my thong? Yes
b) Did you remember to wash it? Hell no, I'll never wash it! LOL



Inanna (www) said:

1. Schindler's List One of those I've been meaning to see...
2. The Wolf's Hour by Robert McCammon Added to the list
3. Metallica - Metallica Yes, very good

1. If you were Derrick's age, what would you dress up as for Halloween? Probably Kim Possible - she rocks! ...or maybe a Powerpuff girl
2. What is the best advice you ever received? Don't sweat the small stuff and to believe in the power of unconditional love.
3. Afterlife or reincarnation? Actually, both...I think we stick around until we get it right and then we get our reward.

Thanks for playing, folks! I promise I have a real post coming.

Recommend, Ask, Pass Along

I stole this from Inanna, who stole it from Ang, whole stole it from Fresc, who stole it from someone at Intellectual Poison.

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted this week--great time for strangers to say hi.

(C) Then go back to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

WTF?

Found this through Tarantino's page (yes I know how to hyperlink, but I'm being lazy about it, ok? Check the sidebar.). All I have to say about it is WTF?

Fry Day Conglomeration

The Candy Gods Favor Me!
I found something very special...Baskin & Robbins sugar free mint chocolate chip hard candies! WOO HOO! I am in chocolate minty heaven!

The Anticipation is Terrible!
As many of you may know, Willy Wonka has been remade starring Johnny Depp as Willy. I have mixed feelings about this. I'll be going to see it as soon as it's released - my sheer curiosity will not allow me to wait until it's on video. I am a big depp fan, but worry that this one might have been way too much of a stretch. How can ANYONE outdo Gene Wilder as Wonka? I just don't know if it can be done. It may be like a rubber-necker seeing a horrific car accident, but I'll be there. LOL Curious? See the trailer here.

Pugsley
Thank you very much for the kind words and wishes for my dog, Pugsley. He is doing just fine since the other night. No seizures. He is acting just like his old self, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.

Santa
Derrick got to meet Santa last night. We went to see the Jolly Holiday Lights - a huge display put on each year to benefit the Make a Wish Foundation, and Santa was there, so D told him about the Rescue Heros Police car he wants. He was very excited!


Have a Great Weekend, All!

Worried

My dog, Pugsley, is getting up there in age. We don't know exactly how old he is because he was a rescue dog - he was dumped because he had been hit by a car and was all scarred up. He had a broken back leg that caused the joint to be malformed and that joint won't bend, so he wasn't "perfect" anymore. The vet guessed that he was about a year old when we got him, so that would make him about 9 now.

About a year ago, Pugsley's eyes started looking a little cloudy. The vet confirmed that cataracts were forming. Perhaps he was older than we thought? Who knows? Now, the cataracts have completely clouded his eyes and he is blind. I could get surgery to fix this for him, but the cost would be in excess of $1500 - money that I do not have. Despite being blind, his quality of life is pretty good and he is very loved. We're ok with the fact that he's blind, and thought that we should have several more years with Pugsley as he is otherwise a very healthy dog.

Now, I'm really wondering. Last night, as usual, I carried Pugs down the front stairs (he won't tackle them now that he's blind) and set him down in the front yard to "do his business" before bed. He sniffs around the front yard and comes back up onto the porch when he is done. I stepped inside for a minute and when I came back out, I could hear him snorting which was not unusual. He loves to flip over on his back and roll around in the grass.

It was dark, but I could make him out a little, wiggling around in the grass. It became clear quickly, however, that something was wrong. He was on his side, kicking his legs frantically, and snorting at a very rapid rate. I went to him, and saw that he was frothing at the mouth! He looked like he was having a seizure! I scooped him up and brought him in the house and he was kicking and snorting the entire time. I laid him on the floor and grabbed a towel to wrap him in, and he continued to seize for a few more minutes. When he came out of it he was panicked, anxiously trying to get away from me. I let him walk for a minute, and he was wandering around, looking very confused and bumping into things. He would not stop moving, and he was alternating between breathing very heavy and snorting. It took me nearly 30 minutes to get him to settle down.

After he settled down, I went to bed and laid there worrying for a long time about what I should do. I settled on the idea that I would take him straight to the vet in the morning. This morning, however, when we got up he was acting perfectly normal. I don't know if I should take him to the vet or just wait to see if it happens again. This is so scary - I don't want to lose him.

Please say a prayer or send some positive energy (whatever your thing is) for Pugsley as the road ahead could be a rough one. Thanks.

Ding a Ding Dang My Dang a Long Ling Long

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
that's ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"
-Ministry, Jesus Built My Hotrod

The Best Concert EVER
I've been to a LOT of concerts in my time...but the best of all (so far) was Lollapalooza 1992.

In Order of Appearance, If I recall correctly:
Jesus & Mary Chain
Pearl Jam
Soundgarden
Ice Cube
Ministry
Lush
Red Hot Chili Peppers
...all in one fabulous day!

I went to see the show in Minneapolis with one of the most wonderful guys I've ever known - Jason, affectionately known as JEK. We simply had a blast.

I wore my favorite black mini tankdress (oh how I miss that dress - I literally wore it out) with my black 12 hole Doc Martins. Cool and comfy, I was ready to kick some ass! I was able to sneak in a huge water bottle filled with blackberry Clearly Canadian and Vodka in my backpack (hee hee).

We managed to wiggle our way up close to the front, so we had a really good view. It was a very warm day, so soon we were quite damp. With all of the bouncing around, moshing and general jumping up and down, we were soaked by the time Pearl Jam came on. Oh, the joys of swimming in the musky scents of a hyped up crowd. LOL

All of the bands put on a terrific show and the sound was great. Members of some bands would come out and jam with the other bands, and it was just so cool. Chris Cornell from Soundgarden came out and sang with Pearl Jam. Flea came out and played with Soundgarden. Al Jourgensen from Ministry would come out on stage and talk to the crowd (and spray us down with hoses) as they were changing the stage between bands.

I'm not much of a rap fan, but Ice Cube did deliver a good performance. The funniest part was when he did Ice T's Cop Killer. All of the cops/guards were standing surrounding the crowd up on the track, somewhat above the crowd, looking disgusted. At Ice Cube's urging, the entire crowd continued to flip the circling helicopters off as they filmed the crowd. Put THAT on the evening news! LOL


Although all were good and Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Chili Peppers kicked serious ass, my favorite performance of the day was Ministry. They had a simple stage setup, but Al's microphone stand was elaborately decorated with bones...so wild! You can see it in the pic. He also had a giant tricycle decorated in the same manner that he would ride around the stage. Crazy! One of the coolest parts was when they started to play "so what" - the beginning has a very deliberate, driving beat and the entire crowd began to jump straight up and down to the beat, in unison. It was so cool - I love it when the crowd moves as one like that.

Although, much to my chagrin, Jane's Addiction did not play, we did get to see Perry. He was dressed up in drag and served as a stage assistant for Jim Rose's Circus Sideshow! They put on a great show with Mr. Lifto picking up large bricks and such with various pierced parts, Matt the Tube, various contortionists and people eating light bulbs and jumping up and down on glass. I love sideshows. They are a freakin' riot. As a side note - If you ever get a chance to see the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus - GO! They are fabulous.

Jason and I wandered back to the campground and fell into our tent exhausted after the show was over. Damn, what a fine day it was!

Can't wait to see who is playing on Lollapalooza 2005.

True Confessions

I am a much happier camper today. My little psychological experiment worked! I felt depression coming on, pushing it's way into my psyche like a nasty little virus, so I just decided that I was NOT going to let it in. Instead of getting depressed, I got pissed. I stomped my feet, cursed, spit and jumped up and down and damn if felt good. After that, I felt much better and was able to go on with my day in a productive manner! Woo hoo! The power of exercising mind control on yourself...

Trashman, you may have been right, though...I did eat some crackers after my little tirade, so the carbs might have helped as well. ;)



And Now, for Something COMPLETELY Different:

A little sexy fun list for some shits and giggles. Thanks to Vader (who's surprised here?) for the list.

If you want to play:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal/blog.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

PART I

01. I've had sex in the past five minutes.
02. I enjoy oral sex.
03. I scream loudly during sex. (not often, though)
04. I love sleeping with more than two people.
05. I own at least two books about sex.
06. I've peeked into the locker room of the opposite sex.
07. I have taken money for sex.
08. I've had sex while under the influence of a controlled substance.
09. I've been in porn movies. (home ones)
10. I have been the odd person in a threesome.
11. I have published the sexual exploits of a past relationship without telling my ex.
12. I have lied to a lover about having an affair.
13. I have been told that I'm the best lover a person has ever had. (more than once)
14. I like and Respect Jenna Jameson.
15. I like slow sex.
16. I have learned a lot sexually over the past year.
17. I have a sexual fantasy about another blogger. (more than one)
18. I've been told I'm a great lover.
19. I carry a condom at all times.
20. I'm interested in trying suspension.
21. I've broken a bone while having sex.
22. I have had a wet dream that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I have had sex in the rain.
24. I have had sex while someone else watched.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it would improve my sex life.
26. I would like to have sex right now!
27. I like to play with food.
28. I like sex that's hard and fast.
29. I always brush my teeth after sex.
30. I shave my pubic hair.
31. I have traveled out of town to have sex.
32. I have fantasized about having sex with my brother-in-law/sister-in-law.
33. I have had sex with a person from a country other than my own.
34. I dress to look sexy. (sometimes)
35. I have had sex with twins.
36. I have had sex with someone I met over the internet.
37. I have more than ten sex toys.
38. I like the way I look naked.
39. I have lied to get a person to have sex with me.
40. I change from one sex position to another in a specific order each time.
41. I saw my parents having sex.(gah!)
42. I get cable just for the soft porn.
43. I think legalized prostitution can reduce some crime.
44. I have a list of people I would like to see naked.
45. I am regularly tested for STDs.
46. I am one kinky bitch.
47. I'm always hungry after sex.
48. I enjoy phone sex.
49. I have been arrested for being naked in public.
50. I have had sloppy drunk sex with a stranger.

PART II

1. I have, either currently or in the past, gone over a year without sex.
2. I have a partially used tube of KY Jelly close to my bed. (does astro-glide count?)
3. I sometimes buy clothes specifically to turn people on.
4. I sleep with my socks on.
5. I have gotten someone drunk on purpose.
6. I set aside some time each day to surf porn online.
7. There are nude pictures of me somewhere on the Internet.
8. My family would FREAK if they read this list.
9. I can orgasm on command. (pffft...I wish!)
10. I have had sex standing up.
11. I have leather in my closet and I'm not afraid to wear it.
12. Given the opportunity, I would have sex with a porn star. (only a select few)
13. I know someone who needs a copy of "Sex for Dummies."
14. There is at least one extended family member (cousin, aunt, etc.) I would jump if we weren't related.
15. I think hose are sexy.
16. I think limited nudity should be allowed on television after 10:00 at night.
17. I like ribbed condoms.
18. I am pierced somewhere other than my ears or navel.
19. I have had sex in the shower.
20. My parents caught me having sex.
21. My child(ren) caught me masturbating. (thanks heavens the covers were pulled up!)
22. Watching other people have sex turns me on.
23. I own more than ten porn tapes/DVDs.
24. I have used a vegetable as a sex toy.
25. I enjoy reading erotic literature.
26. I can get wet/hard just by the sound of someone's voice.
27. I have used a sex swing. (but I really want to!)
28. I have employed the services of a professional sex worker.
29. I have a membership on at least one adult pay site.
30. I would give up another habit (smoking, drinking, over-eating) if it meant having more sex.
31. I would consider hiring someone to teach me about the finer points of sex.
32. Given the opportunity, I would appear in an adult magazine.
33. I think reality TV should show who's having sex with whom.
34. I get wet/hard just walking into a Victoria's Secret store.
35. I keep a "Top 5" list of famous people I would like to fuck.
36. I have participated in an orgy.
37. My current sex life is beyond boring.
38. I am actively looking for a new sex partner.
39. I do NOT think having sex always means making a long-term commitment.
40. I have at least one sex toy made of glass.
41. I think anti-pornography laws are too restrictive.
42. People would be surprised if they knew how often I think about sex.
43. I think 16 is a good age to begin having sex.
44. I have special names for my sex organs.
45. I have used sex to get what I want.
46. I think the world would be a better place if people had sex more often.
47. I think some public nudity should be legal.
48. I have at least one sex toy that is blue.
49. I think a blogger orgy would be ... interesting.
50. Just reading this list makes me horny

Hee hee...this was fun. I'm such a bad girl. *snicker snicker*

Angry

I'm not having a good morning. I can't really tell you why. I am just angry.

I just want to kick puppies, push down old little ladies, spike the hot cocoa with ex-lax and say bah fucking humbug. This is not like me, and it concerns me very much.

All I really want for Christmas is to get my car fixed so that I can get the hell out of Iowa.

I need a breath of fresh air.
I need a break.
I need someone who will treat me with respect.
I need to make more money.
I need to feel appreciated.
I need an antacid.
I need a happy pill.

I had a post up with some song lyrics that I just yanked down. I always feel lame for posting song lyrics, but sometimes they just express how I feel so damn well...

We'll see how many people I can alienate this time...how many will bail and avoid me because I'm not shiny, happy, bouncy and flirty. Some will see that I need a hand up, others will slowly back away. Please let them see and understand.

This anger and frustration - I know what comes after this, and I will do what I can to try to fight it off. It is a battle that I have fought and lost too many times. Perhaps I should seek medication.

Ahhhh...the downward spiral, just in time for the holidays.

Password

Work is busy busy, hence keeping me from being able to blog. *pout*

So, here is a joke for you...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password... Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made very obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P...

E...

N...

I...

S.


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***


Happy Friday all!

The Condition My Condition Was In

Hello world! Yes, I am alive and happy to be that way. It has been an extremely long and unpleasant holiday weekend chez Celti. We have been sick. Not just icky sicky…falling down, wish I were dead sick! Monday night I thought I was going to die. I think I would have felt better if I had died.

My wonderful son started out the Thanksgiving weekend by puking all over me in the recliner Thursday night. No warning – we were snuggling and watching TV and he just spewed. Sorry to be gross, but it’s one of the joys of parenthood, folks. I quickly parked him in front of the toilet, stripped myself of my vomit-soaked clothes and put something else on. He was done throwing up by then, laying on the bathroom floor. I stripped him of his befouled jammies, gave him a quick wash-off and got him it new jammies toute suite and put the poor little bugger to bed. He slept for a while, and then threw up all over his bed and pjs. I cleaned him up, cleaned up his bed, new sheets and blankets and back to sleep he went. We did this two more times before morning. Yeah, long night.

Thank heavens by morning the vomiting had stopped. He was feverish and lethargic. I pushed fluids and held him most of the day on the couch. By that night, you could tell he was starting to feel a little better. We took it easy and stayed in all day Saturday and by Saturday night, he was back to his chipper old self.

Sunday night, I started feeling a bit off...not really sick, just a generally unwell feeling. Monday morning, on the other hand, was a different story. When I arose my head was swimming and my stomach was cramping. I tried to psych myself out and convince myself that I was not getting sick despite the fact that I had to make several trips to the loo. Thinking that it wouldn’t look good to call in after a 4 day weekend, I decided to tough it out and go to work.

By the time I dropped Derrick off and got to work, I was feeling horrible. Gut wrenching cramps were doubling me over, and I had to make several more trips to the bathroom. I started to get that urping, gurgling feeling. OMG – I’m going to puke! Convinced that there was no way I was going to make it to the bathroom (it’s quite a walk) and not wanting to spew in the hall, I chose my friendly office garbage can. Since the dumbshit cleaning lady didn’t put a liner in, there was simply no nice way of cleaning up the mess. So...I put the little surprise package in her cleaning closet (today I have a liner. LOL)

I promptly told my boss that I was sick and had to leave and drove my soupy ass home – thankfully an uneventful and quick drive. I went straight to bed and didn’t move again until 5 (7 hours later). I got up when Chris and Derrick came home, moped around a bit and went back to bed at 7 for the night.

To make what is becoming a long post short, I haven’t been that sick in a long time. After 24 hours of excruciating waves of nausea and cramping and horrible body aches, I was no longer convinced that I was going to die. I sat like a quivering lump on the couch all day yesterday, wanting to eat something but so very afraid because everything I ingested (including water) made my stomach hurt so badly. I didn’t even blog on my new computer – that is how sick I was.

Despite having a stomach that is still a bit on the tender side, I am SO very happy to be feeling well again and happy to be back to the blog-o-sphere.

Just In Time

...for the four day weekend, I GOT MY NEW COMPUTER! woo hoo!

My old home PC is toast. After much porn surfing by the ex-roommate (a.k.a. spank monkey) it was extremely infected with spyware, adware and various other varieties of shit. Spank Monkey thought he'd try his hand at fixing it and completely buggered it up, rendering it useless. This was probably about 3 months ago. I've had two friends try to fix it and have tried myself. Having done tech support for a while, I know my way around a PC pretty well, but couldn't get anywhere on this boat anchor.

Last night, I purchased an HP Pavilion from a friend who no longer needs it because he got a kickin' laptop. It's only 2 months old, loaded with goodies, lots of hard drive space, shitloads of RAM, cd burner...the works. YAY! Now I just need to get hooked up with a DSL service and I'll be all set. I'm on dial up for now, just to get back on-line, but it isn't too bad. Hey, at least I can get on-line at home again.

What I am Thankful for this Thanksgiving
(...aside from friends and family, for whom I am always thankful.)

My new computer!

My job where I have access to kickass things like photo-quality printers, wide format, scanners, and I can surf the internet as much as I like as long as my work is caught up.

The South Beach diet for making me feel more in control, and physically and emotionally more confident.

My wonderful son, Derrick. He is the light of my life. Although he's been technically potty trained for a long time now, my little man wore underpants to bed last night for the first time and didn't wet. I am so proud of him.

My wonderful blog friends. I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to get to know so many funny, intelligent, nice people as I have through blogging. You guys are awesome.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! (Yes, even you Canadians, Australians...*grin*)

Service Interruption

Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth there, folks. I'm just going through some tough stuff right now, and haven't managed to come up with anything to post about. I didn't come to work yesterday - wasn't emotionally able to face the world until about 3pm. My computer at home still isn't working, but hopefully that will be remedied by the end of the week.

Take care all. I'll be back soon.

Johnny Mainline

We have a friend named John who is a methamphetamine addict. It is really hard to watch the daily rollercoaster ride that is his life.

John is a very creative, artistic and talented person and he is very intelligent. Unfortunatley, meth has a huge hold on him that has crippled him and prevented him from ever having any kind of success in his life...he is a slave to it. He tries and tries, but always ends up back on the shit.

John is like a little brother - you love him but just don't know what to do with him. He comes over when he is high, and can't sit still. He fidgets and looks through all of our stuff, just exploring - trying to keep his mind busy. It drives me nuts. I just want to sedate him so he'll sit down and relax.

John injects the meth - the most addictive and powerful way to do it. That's why we call him Johnny Mainline. He can shoot a quarter or half gram and be high for 3 days. He NEVER does it at our house - we won't allow it.

He arrives, by foot, in winter, beads of sweat on his brow when you greet him at the door. He draws and paints pictures on the basement walls and plays guitar, then draws more. We let him hang out because we know he doesn't have anywhere else to go but drug houses and we know that he comes to be with us to seek peace - it's a safe place for him. We treat him nice and try not to judge him. He almost always leaves a token of some kind - a pillow case, a jacket or sweat shirt...last time it was a little green glass bird.

I know that John is harmless. He never becomes violent or does anything stupid (besides the drugs, that is), but we do watch him closely nonetheless. He doesn't come around nearly as much now that Derrick is around, ashamed of himself I suppose.

I worry about John...a lot. I worry that one of these days we're going to hear that he's dead. He is only in his late 20s and his body is wearing out. If he doesn't have a stroke or his kidneys don't shut down, he could overdose or have a heart attack. We just try to be there for him when he seeks solace. It's really all we can do.

You see, I live in the one of the meth capitals of the world. Iowa is crawling with it. It's cheap and effective, easy to make and easy to get. There are so many people I know that have been hooked by it. It seems it is nearly impossible to get off of once a person gets hooked.

I lost my best friend to meth - no, she didn't die, but she's not my friend any more. She went through treatment 3 times without success, and then got so wrapped up in it that she ended up getting arrested as she and her boyfriend were cooking it. After 3 months in jail, 3 more months in in-house treatment and then a drug-court program where if she tests dirty she'll go to prison, she is finally clean. Her drug treatment taught her, however, that she can't be friends with anyone she was friends with when she was using - even if they don't use. Although she hugs me and tells me how much she loves and misses me when we run into each other, we are no longer friends. Sometimes I think it would almost have been easier (for me, anyway) if she had died. I miss you, Bee.

Tick Tock

Tuesday Tidbits

Pod Update
A lot of you have read here about my nieghbor, Pod. He's the Vietnam Vet who got drunk and fell off my front porch, ending up in the hospital. Well, I took Pod out to lunch on Veteran's day and I am happy to report that he is doing well. Pod hasn't had a drop of alcohol since that day. 36 days sober...that's a big thing for him. It seems that tumble off the porch was a bit of an eye opener for him.

Ebay Hilarity
Check out the latest treasure available on Ebay...

"You are bidding on three real frogs taxidermy doing it threesome style."
Availble for $22.95 strait from the Louisiana Bayou. Bwaaaaahahaha!

Baggy Pantz
The diet is still going very well. I am happy to report that I have lost.....(drumroll please)...28 Pounds! Woo Hoo! It has been tough, but way worth it. I am used to the restrictions now and they seem like second nature to a certain extent. I have been able to treat myself with splenda sweetened ice cream and ricotta chocolate mousse, so I don't feel deprived. It turns out, however, that my body requires more water to break down all of the proteins, so I was getting dehydrated. The skin on my fingers started peeling off! It was wierd. I have stepped up my water consumption, however, and now that has stopped.

I think it's getting to be about time to reward myself with a hot new outfit! I have already been shopping for new jammies for our Kansas City gathering - gotta have something fun to romp around with in the hotel with the girls. I'm thinking black so it doesn't show margarita stains...

Baby Chester
One of my favorite bands is Linkin Park. The other day, just fooling around, Derrick put on Daddy's glasses and, much to my surprise, he looked just like Chester, the lead singer of Linkin Park! Check it out...

No, I didn't have a secret, sordid affair with Chester and then give birth to his love-child. LOL (hmmmmm...)

Love Will Come to You

There are a lot of blogger friends out there right now that are lonely, hurting and searching for love. It is so sad that so many extraordinary people have this empty space in their hearts and can't find someone to help fill it. So, this post is dedicated to all of you. It is one of my favorite songs.

I think, particularly, of my evil twin, Aimee, when I hear this song. She is so deserving of love and it saddens me tremendously that she is alone. Sure, she has her wonderful daughter and a family that loves her and friends who love her, but I think you all know the kind of love we're talking about here.

For you, sweetheart (...and all of the rest - *big hugs* my friends)

Love Will Come to You

guess i wasn't the best one to ask
me myself with my face pressed
up against love's glass
to see the shiny toy i've been hoping for
the one i never could afford

the wide world spins and spits turmoil
and the nations toil for peace
but the paws of fear upon your chest
only love can soothe that beast
and my words are paper tigers
no match for the predators of pain inside her

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there is now one there will be two

i was born under the sign of cancer
like brushing cloth i smooth the wrinkles for an answer
i'm always closing my eyes and wishing i'm fine
(i close my eyes and wish you fine)
even though i know i'm not this time

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there is now one there will be two

dodging your memories - a field of knives
always on the outside looking in on other's lives

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there is now one there will be two

and i wish her insight to battle love's blindness
strength from the milk of human kindness
a safe place for all the pieces that scattered
learn to pretend there's more than love that matters

Gonna Be a Bear

In this life, I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a female bear, you birth your children (who are born the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. ...and he can deal with that.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Lightening Crashes

I'm feeling sad today...sad, unmotivated, tired, uninspired. It's one of those days when you could just go back to bed and sleep the day away. How much simpler life is when I am asleep - no deadlines, obligations, responsibilities, bills to pay, meals to cook, shopping to do, messes to clean.

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs - Higher by Creed. The song talks about how he wishes he could make his real world just like his dreams.

I guess it's because I've been thinking about my friend, Grace.

(kleenex alert)

Songs affect me so deeply some times. Last night, on my way home from work, a song came on the radio that makes me cry every time I hear it. By the end of the song, I was sobbing. The song is called "Lighning Crashes" by Live.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

oh now feel it comin' back again
like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
this moment she's been waiting for
the angel opens her eyes
pale blue colored iris,
presents the circle
and puts the glory out to hide, hide

Although it doesn't mirror the situation exactly, this song came out right about the time that I lost my friend Grace. I always think of her when I hear it.

Grace was a coworker of mine years ago. We sat next to each other and became good friends. She married Curt - another coworker of ours and a wonderful guy. They were a great couple and not long after they were married, Grace became pregnant. They were so excited. When Grace was about 5 months pregnant, Curt was offered a great job in Phoenix, and they moved there. Grace and I continued to correspond via e-mail often.

Shortly before her due date, Grace started getting sick. She would vomit a lot and just felt terrible. One night, she was so sick that Curt took her to the ER. They told her that it's just part of being pregnant and to go home and deal with it. They heard the baby's heart beat that night, but the next morning she knew that something was wrong. She was still horribly sick and the baby had stopped moving.

To make a long story short, her baby, Mary, was still born that day via c-section and it was determined that Grace had a serious case of toxemia. Curt and Grace were crushed. They took pictures of her, planned for her burial and planned to take some time off together to help each other heal. The next morning, with Curt by her side, Grace died of an aortic aneurysm - almost literally a broken heart.

I'll never forget the moment when I was told. A mutual friend that I still worked with told me - at first I thought she was just telling me that the baby didn't make it. She quickly made it clear that Grace didn't make it either. It was like someone punched me in the stomach and I couldn't catch my breath for several seconds.

I couldn't make it to Grace and Mary's funeral. It was too far away and I had no vacation time, but my heart was there. They were buried together in the same casket, with Mary cradled in Grace's arms.

My heart still aches for Curt - it has been 10 years now. He lost his precious baby girl and his wife both within 24 hours. Last I heard he was doing ok. I hope he has found happiness.

Wow, this was hard to write about. This story reminds me how important it is to love those who are special to you and to show that love as much as you can now, as you never know when you will lose them.

I got a lotta Nothin'

My mind is a perplexing mess today...a million thoughts all bumping into each other "hey, watch it!" "oh, excuse me!" "what was that?" "What did she say?"

All of this political bickering and fighting in blog land is giving me a headache. It's not that I want to take the easy way out and avoid conflict. A big part of my wants to dive in and rip certain individuals to shreds while brandishing my tongue-sword in the denfense of kindred spirits while another part of my backs.away.slowly, not wanting to offend someone I care about, not wanting to come off like a bitch, not wanting to be attacked, wondering where my rock is so I can crawl underneath in the dark, humid safety of solace. If my mood is good, I want to maintain that if at all possible. It gets lonely under that rock.

There has been a lot of sexy talk going on today (and last night) and it is making me squirm in my chair. Another big part of my mind is taking the rest by the hand and bidding it follow to fantasy land - that vivid, sordid, hot and steamy realm where I can have my way with whom I want and everything goes perfectly. Heh heh...I'd better stop here on this thread...

The way that I can get inside my own head and create my own world, dream, fantasize is sometimes disturbing. There is so much noise yet it is completely silent on the outside. Is it like that for everyone? If I could type fast enough, I would attempt to document the stream of thoughts. Hmmm...maybe I'll try that...
This is an experiment people. Ok...here goes...

dang i know i'm not going to be able to type fast enough for this to work ow that bump on my gums hurts what the hell is that thing it's just a bump did something get stuck in there oh I like this song I need to get this album I'm getting hungry almost time for lunch what will I have can't be carbs damn i miss bread i want a sandwich had chicken yesterday nothing really in the fridge that's all protein getting sick of jerky and no more fucking eggs hey that itches oh well stick to it damn it you still have a lot to lose when should i buy new clothes not until you're done or you won't get to wear them long as they'll be baggy everything is baggy now deal with it it's in style anyway if you want to look like you have no ass that would be something new now wouldn't it you've always had a lot of junk in the trunk ha ha gotta get some new bras damnit stupid thing keeps riding up on my back tighten it a few notches dumbass wait you aren't going to have shit for a rack to be proud of dang why am i blogging i have work to do i'm gonna get busted would they fire me nah they love what I do too much at least my screen faces away from the door so they can't peek but it's on the firewall oh well Kevin doesn't give a shit unless i piss him off and don't do his stuff he's still on atkins i should watch some videos on launch.com no work stupid get your shit done and then you can play hope derrick is having a better day today don't know whether to tell him to kick killian's ass or tell on him why does he pick on him they're only 4 for god's sake summer's streaks in her hair look fucking ridiculous why does she do that damn she's tall.

Ok, that's enough. I was right...couldn't keep up. It's official. I'm crazy. Oh, well...that's ok. I'm comfortable with it. *chuckle chuckle*

Incredible

I had one of the best movie experiences I've ever had this weekend...

Central Iowa has a new mall - the Jordan Creek Town Center. This overdressed suburban behemoth is adorned with a brand spankin' new Century theeater - 20 Screens and more showtimes than you can shake a stick at (21 for just this movie each day).

The snack bar is incredible - anything you might want is most likely there. You can have pizza, ice cream (Edys), coffee (Starbucks), kettle corn...I was very impressed. I had an iced Mocha (yum! 1st one I've had in a month!).

The seats in the theaters are incredible, too. They are so soft, big and cushy. They recline and the arms flip up so you can turn them into a big, comfy couch. Wonderful!

The sound was awesome, the picture was awesome...Oh! Yeah, we saw "the Incredibles" and we loved it. It's a Pixar film (Toy Story, Nemo...) so I knew it would be good. Synopsis: Once one of the world's top masked crime fighters, Bob Parr--known to all as "Mr. Incredible"--fought evil and saved lives on a daily basis. But now fifteen years later, Bob and his wife--a famous superhero in her own right--have adopted civilian identities and retreated to the suburbs to live normal lives with their three kids. Now he's a clock-punching insurance claims adjuster fighting boredom and a bulging waistline. Itching to get back into action, Bob gets his chance when a mysterious communication summons him to a remote island for a top-secret assignment.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone, so I will just say that I highly recommend the movie. Go see it.

What did you do this weekend?

All I Ever Need to Know

All I ever needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.

These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life.
Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.

And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

--- Robert Fulghum

Have a great weekend...and be nice to each other. *smooch*

Tattoo of the Day

Sunset

This is the sunset I was greeted with last night when I came out into the world...

It was breath-taking.

I hope the image is still big enough for you to make out the hundreds of huge black ravens in the tops of the trees. When my flash went off, they all took flight...

Foreboding

I try to abstain from political meanderings on my blog as politics often brings disagreement and alienation. I have friends who are Republican, and I respect their right to their own opinions and to choose for themselves. I can't, however, seem to focus on much more than the dread in my heart this morning.

I just read on MSNBC that Bush has 269 Electoral votes so far and that Kerry has 238. With 31 electoral votes still up in the air, Kerry could only reach 269 if he wins them ALL. The winner is supposed to have 270 to win. What happens if they tie at 269?

I also just heard (through the grapevine) that the Florida voting machines were jacked up (big surprise there) and that votes for Kerry were recorded as votes for Bush. WTF? Does anyone know anything about this? I googled it with several different key words and found nothing.

One of my friends stopped by last night. When I asked him if he'd voted yet, he informed me that he had not and didn't intend to. I asked why and he said that he wanted to vote for Nader, but that it was a waste of time. I tried and tried to convince him to go, but he would not. I lost a considerable amount of respect for him just then. I wonder how he feels today.

I got shit-faced last night as I watched the results come in, state after state turning red on the map (how's that for symbolism?). Regardless, I wobbled to bed at 10:30 with fear and dread in my heart. I awoke to affirmation. Although it isn't over officially yet, I anticipate with trepidation the song that the fat lady will sing.

Today is the Day, Cheeeldren!

Monday Morning Mind-Dump

There Are Real Hobbits (or were...)
So, the other day I heard this guy in the coffee shop yammering about something. I caught "they found real hobbits in Indonesia!". Huh? Turns out that some remains have been unearthed from tiny human beings who are being referred to as Homo Floresiensis - they are still examining and studying, but think that they lived around 13,000 years ago and were wiped out by a volcanic eruption. The Dastard has some information about it and some links for your perusal...

KC Count Down
10 weeks until our Kansas City Blogger Party! Woo hoo! So far, Kate the Peon, Pup, Aimee, Jamie and me are going to descend upon Kansas City the weekend of January 15. Pup is in big trouble, guys, so someone needs to come save him from all of these women...or maybe not! HA! Don't know what we're going to be doing, but I'm sure it will be fun!

Birthday Weekend
As most of you already know, I spent the weekend celebrating my son's birthday. I survived the Chuck E. Cheese party with 11 of his little friends. It was pandemonium, but went well.

Here is part of the group with Chuck. Some of them wore constumes, some did not. Derrick was a pirate (forgot to put the hat, eye patch and hook on before the pic) hence the dark eyes. He didn't want to go trick-or-treating because he wanted to go home and play with his new toys so badly. That's ok...I certainly don't need all of that candy around to tempt me.

Funny Kitties
Found this cute video over the weekend. My kid was squealing with delight as he played it over & over. It made me smile.

I Voted, Did You? (or Will YOU?)
I have already cast my vote for the upcoming election. I decided to do it via absentee ballott so I wouldn't have to worry about dragging a toddler to the polls. I've heard of a lot of places that have early polling places set up, but don't know of any around here. No I sit and wait, white knuckled, short of breath...

Cheater Cheater, Carb Eater!
I fell of the wagon a little this weekend on my diet. But hey...it was D's birthday AND halloween. How could I not? I had 2 slices of bread, a pumpkin cookie, a teeny helping of mashed potatoes, a mini peanut butter cup, a few bites of spaghetti...not really all that bad. I can still feel the pounds falling off and couldn't be happier about it. Today, I am wearing a pair of pants that I could not wear 1 month ago...too tight. They are even a little loose. *dance of joy*

Splash!
It makes me happy to run my car though big huge puddles in the street, sending water flying everywhere. Yeeeeaaaaaah.



Happy Monday, Friends!