Short Attention Span Friday!

In the news today:

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Two young Colorado girls decided it would be nice idea last summer to deliver some cookies to their neighbors. It was pretty late – around 10 to 10:30 pm. One 49 year old woman was so freaked out by the knock on her door that she called the sheriff and ended up in the hospital emergency room the next day after suffering a severe anxiety attack. So, what does she do? Deal with her own issues? No…she sued the girls and they had to pay her $900! Bitch! I’d bet she doesn’t have any more neighbors trying to be nice to her!

Easy on the Water there, Dude!
A 21 year old California State University student died of "water intoxication" during hazing in the basement of a fraternity. He died while drinking water from a five-gallon jug and doing exercises at the Chi Tau house. An autopsy showed death was triggered by hyponatremia, a condition in which excess water in the body causes sodium levels in the blood to drop. Water is then absorbed into the blood and fluid builds up in the brain. Who knew that WATER could kill you? Scary.

Make the Bastard Pay (a.k.a. Rant du Jour)
Scott Peterson's six-month murder trial and three months of jury selection racked up costs of more than $700,000 for the San Mateo County Superior Court. The Court say that, if it doesn’t’ get reimbursed for the costs, they will be looking at a loss of positions or layoffs. In addition to court costs, San Mateo County spent roughly $500,000 on Peterson-related items such as extra deputies, security, transportation and housing for Peterson in the jail.

The question that comes to mind for me is, why don’t they make HIM pay? He was convicted of murdering his wife and their unborn child – he should pay for it all. Take his fancy truck and boat, sell them. Sell his house – I’d imagine that a house in that area would be at least a couple hundred thousand. They should sell off all his assets to pay the bills. Nothing is more unjust than innocent people losing their jobs and taxpayers having to foot the bill for his crime. Sheeesh!

The GOOD news
Well folks, I am extremely happy to report that the shrinkage continues – as of this morning I have lost 68 pounds. WOO HOO! TOOT TOOT! I can’t be more pleased and I can’t tell you how nice to feel good about myself again. I really have trouble believing it when I look in the mirror, but the numbers and my pants falling off don’t lie. Now, I just have to go get me some new duds.

Hmmmmm...

I had the wierdest dream last night! I was in this nasty old trashed out house, and it was full of people. I assume we were stranded there, as there was snow piled up to the windows outside and everyone seemed to be milling around aimlessly. I went down to the basement to look for a place to get away from everyone, and it was a mess - junk, dead bodies and body parts everywhere and about a foot of flood water on the floor. So I went back upstairs and didn't seem upset about that at all. I was so tired - got the impression that I hadn't slept for days, so I was desperate to find a place to sleep. The only place for me to sleep was on this large coffee table with this other guy. We curled up under some blankets, and I snuggled up to him for warmth. It was actually really nice, considering the circumstances. Then I realized that the man I was snuggling up to was Ron, a childhood friend and neighbor of mine who was killed by his father in a hunting accident when we were twelve (in real life)! WTF?

Someone joked earlier with me about giving up my first born son for something. I said that, actually, I would rather give up my left arm. It got me thinking - if I were presented with no other choice than to give up my son or an arm, I would give the arm without hesitation. Wouldn't you?

Lunchtime Quickie

I'm at home on my lunch hour.

I think I've figured out how to resolve this work thing...

Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to share the details since certain work-related eyes could be reading this blog (shame on you for spying on me if that be the case!). Let's just say that I think it's going to work out fine and within a week or so I should be able to blog my free workday moments away.

In the mean time, I'm slackin'...I know. I dedicate my evenings to playing with my son, so between that and trying to spend time reading all the wonderful blogs I like to read, I haven't posted squat. I will...I have a few brewing, being written in Word (you know how frustrating it is not to be able to preview?) and being e-mailed home.

SO, it's groundhog day. Whoopty do! Did the ugly little critter see his shadow? I doubt it. Regardless, Spring usually comes around March or so around here, so I don't think it really matters. It all goes back to pagan customs and simply gives me memories of Bill Murray punching out nerds in the street. LOL Ned Ryerson! How the hell does one make their bellybutton whistle, anyway?

So, Mikey made a little guest appearance on his dusty blog. I'm trying not to get too excited about that. That might be all we get. I miss him so, but I've seen a certain IP address bumping around here pretty often, so I suspect... nah, I'll just zip it. Oh, hell - if that's you, Michael, Hi sweetie! I miss you!

I miss my IM buddies, too. I'm so used to having you pop onto my desktop and say hi that I feel like you've gone somewhere. Oh, yeah...it's me. :(

My most exciting news of the day is that I mowed the lawn for the first time. HEE HEE. I just had to try it. I think I like it.

OK...well, I'd better go. Things are actually going pretty good in Celti's world right now despite the fact that I'm being oppressed!! I have a plan. dum dum dum duuuuuuummmmm!

The Bad News

My boss came in this morning and had a little “chat” with me about my personal internet use and time spent on IM here at work. He basically said that I can’t be on-line for any personal use and absolutely no IM, so that sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. I’m going to have to lay low, at least for a while.

Seems that our IT manager has been trying to see what I’ve been doing on-line and can’t find anything. He’s a bit frustrated. I know enough about how this shit works to cover my damn tracks. I am not ignorant enough to leave a trail and that frustrates him. Poor baby.

However, I will say that my job satisfaction level just fell about 75%. It really pisses me off because I do NOT put this kind of thing ahead of my work duties. My work is always up to date, caught up, high quality. They have no complaints. I know this because I just had a glowing review last week. What does it hurt to let a person play if their work is all done and the quality is excellent? I guess I’ll have to sit here and do my nails or something when I’m all caught up. Yeah, that is real productive. Let’s go ahead and increase my frustration level to about 75% more than before, shall we?

If the quality of my work were suffering or if I weren’t getting things done, I would understand. This is not the case.

Perhaps I should start surfing the job listings and not cover my tracks…

Short Attention Span Friday

Heeeellllllooooo!

It's Friday, peeps! Frriiiiiiiiidaaaaaaay! Man, this has been a long week.

Here is some tasty internet fun for you:
This one was too freakin' cute. Hard Rock Kitties from the band Litterbox. I am particularly fond of the guitar player since he looks just like my kitty Leonardo.

This also gave me a good giggle:

It's all in good fun, eh?

Rock Star's baby/kid photos. The text is in Spanish, but the pics are still very funny. See them here.

Now, I've been hearing a lot of talk lately about Brasilians (you know, a waxing down under?). I have to say that I've been intrigued. Then, I found this. Don't worry, it is safe for work but I will issue an LOL alert because it made me snort, blow coffee out my nose and giggle incessantly. I must say - I am still intrigued...

Well, Kiddies, that's all for now. Have a fabulous weekend!

Blahbitty Blah

I have nothing of any substance to post today...again, as is too often lately, my mind is a big jumble of thoughts.

I was going to post today to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz - the worst of the Nazi concentration/death camps. There was a journal entry I read not too long ago on Robert Fulghum's website. He is one of my favorite authors, and his journal entries are little little bonus treats. This particular entry was about his visit to Dachau (another of the camps) when he took his daughter to visit there. He talked extensively about the barbed wire fence, and strip of grass that separated it from the gravel that those poor souls lived on. It was a beautiful, touching view of the suffering that the people who lived and died in those camps went through. I was going to post it here, but was saddened to discover that the archives of his journal are not accessible. I lost the story by not copying it down. I sent the link to Pup at the time - I'd be he remembers it.

It's been a very emotionally taxing last 2 weeks. I have not been feeling well. Stress, worrying and heartache have been dominating my mind and, frankly, it is starting to annoy me.

Tomorrow, I have to go have another mammogram. 6 months ago, they found something in the films that they didn't like the looks of, so tomorrow is a recheck. I am nervous, to say the least. It was a horrible day yesterday, and I came home to ask Chris to help by leaving me be and I curled up in my chair with a blanket - I just couldn't get warm.

I always forget that I am not allowed to be sick. See, that means Chris would have to do some extra things, like help with dinner and with Derrick. He had friends over, so I guess he was too busy, bellowing at me because Derrick was bothering them. I ended up handling the entire load, exhausted and collapsing into bed after winding down from my shower long after he and Derrick had gone to bed. Poo poo heads.

My company's annual meeting was today, followed by a big awards dinner. I really didn't want to go. I'm not a revenue generator, so I wasn't expecting any awards but I got a President's Club Achievement award! Woo hoo for me! I guess hard work does pay off in this company. I also got the satisfaction of seeing my work in action - the power point presentation that I was obliged to prepare after the information was given to me yesterday at noon. Just a few hours to prepare it, and I have to say it looks pretty damn good. Now I have this pretty plaque to hang in my office and my wall won't look so nekkid any more.

Derek - I haven't forgotten about you. Just wanted to let you know I will get to it.

Today is Chris' one week anniversary of sobriety. I can't help but wonder, though, if he really hasn't drank anything. One of his friends brought beer last night, and I nearly brained him when I saw it. I don't think Chris drank any, but he gets off work much earlier than I do so they could be hanging in the bar for an hour after work. Who knows. I guess I just have to trust...

Derrick has a classmate at pre-school that has been picking on him - Killian. D came home from school yesterday with horrible scratch marks and wounds on his arm. He told me Killian did it. No note from his teacher, no mention of it. I have already talked to the director once about this and I think I'm going to need to do it again. He said Killian got time out. He digs his nails into my child again and I'll show that little bugger time out. That kid is a monster - the teacher said he picks on everyone. What does it take for a 4 year old to be expelled from pre-school? LOL

On my way back to work from lunch, I had something really wierd happen. I was in the right lane, preparing to turn right and there was a car in the lane next to me. As I slowed, the car did, too. I thought they were turning left. They didn't. They didn't go straight either. The car simply vanished. I scanned for it and it was simply gone. hmmm.

So, tomorrow I start the day with a clean slate. I got pretty much all of my work done today which is fantastic and rare. I'm sure more will come sauntering through the door tomorrow, but it's nice to not have to worry about any of it while I get my bits smashed in the morning. Oh, yeah...ew.

Hmmm...tomorrow is short attention span Friday! Woo hoo...it's always fun to see what's out there that I can take a poke or two at. *grin*

Where is This Handbasket Going?

I've been thinking a lot about the war - the war in Iraq and the "war on terror" that our leaders have plunged us into. Yes, I know that September 11 started it and I agree that something must be done, I don't know if what we are doing is right or if it is going to be effective at all.

As an aside, let me point out that I normally do NOT post thoughts of a political nature on my blog. This is a conscious decision as I am not fond of the idea of people attacking others because of their political views. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and should be allowed to voice them, but using them to personally attack and verbally degrade a person is just wrong. It is mean-spirited and unfair. But you know what? This is my blog, and this is what's on my mind. I will not waste my time fussing with someone who is unable to see or even acknowledge others' points of view and I will not allow their attacks to drag me down.



I am struggling to understand the mounting conflicts that are going on between the USA (or, would Christians be more like it?) and the Muslim world. What are we trying to accomplish, exactly? CAN we accomplish our objective? What do THEY want (besides all non-muslims' to be dead)? Will this ever end?

As my son grows, I worry about what his future holds. When he was born in 2000, our world was a much more peaceful place. Sure, there were struggles going on, wars being fought, people suffering - but that is the nature of people, societies and the world. That will ALWAYS go on...it's just a sad fact. Our country, on the other hand, was what I would have referred to as a peaceful nation, a respected ally.

I think the thing that worries me the most about all of this is how intrinsically different these people are from us. Their thought processes are completely different. How can we even begin to find peace with them if we don't understand them? Although I realize that my views are horribly skewed by the American media (something that became painfully clear while living in Europe), it is clear that what they want to instill in us is fear and it is working. I fear them. Why wouldn't I? They seem to breed hate. They teach their children to hate and to kill. They murder innocent people at every opportunity - people like Margaret Hassan, director of operations for CARE International in Iraq. This woman lived in Iraq, was married to a local and spent years working to help who? The people of Iraq! They kill their own, blow up children and police officers, and anyone who doesn't believe as they do.

I feel that our government is treating them as if they are like us - they are apples and we are oranges as far as I am concerned. We are pushing Iraq towards democracy - what makes us think that they want democracy? Would or could democracy ever work for them? I have no idea and I'm hoping that someone making important decisions has looked into this.

The war on "terror" is a war that cannot be won. It is a simple fact that good and evil will always exist - they create balance - the Yin and the Yang. They offset each other and it is just not possible to eradicate all of the people in the world who would like to do us harm. If ten of the radical Muslims are killed, there are fifty more of them ready to step up in their place.

I think I'm going to invite Steve to lunch today. Steve is one of our VP's. He is a great guy - an ex Marine officer and a Vietnam vet. He is very intelligent, insightful and he has a unique perspective on these kinds of things. It's been too long since we had lunch and I am hoping he will share his views on all of this with me. I may also have to rattle Sean's cage a bit and see what he has to say. I need a lot of help to answer some of these questions. I know that some of them don't have any answers.

In the mean time, I will love my family, love my friends, enjoy my freedom and live one day at a time.

Beer Can

Alcohol on my hands
I got plans
to ditch myself and get outside
dancing women
throwing plates
decapitating their laughing dates
swirling chickens caught in flight
out of focus
much too bright
coming down
shiny teeth
game show suckers trying to bleed
but I got a drug and I got the bug
and I got something better than love

How you like me now?
pretty good
going on
feeling strong

I quit my job blowing leaves
telephone bills up my sleeves
choking like a one man dustball
freedom rock slimeball
talking in code, i went down
lit up the shack
grab me a beer out of the sack
everybodys bent over twice
painting the walls throwing some dice
leaping up into the air getting juiced up beyond belief

and they were singing like this

why go throwing Frisbees at the sun?
put my soul between the bun
now I wandering, now I'm drunk
now I'm running like a flaming pig

oh yeah
scraping off the attitude
old man eating all my food
don't be kind
don't be rude
just shake your boots and let it all get loose

oh yeah
oh my goodness

Good Night, Johnny

Yesterday, Johnny Carson, legendary comedian and host of "the tonight show," passed away after a difficult battle with emphysema.



Rest in peace, Johnny. Although we've missed you for the last 12 years, the world will now be even less funny without you.

Closer to Fine

*scroll down for KC pictures galore*

I was so absolutely wiped out last night that I didn't even stay up to watch CSI. Now, that's serious. CSI is my show and I generally don't miss it. I went to bed immediately after putting Derrick to bed. It's amazing how emotional strife can exhaust the physical body. I slept like a rock, and feel somewhat stone-like this morning. Maybe it's more like stoned - kind of in a haze.

I'm doing considerably better today (compared to yesterday, anyway). There is a glimmer of light peaking through and with the support of many wonderful people who gave me a hand up, I'll be ok. *huge cyber hugs to you* You know who you are! *wink*

Chris hasn't gone to AA yet...hasn't nailed down which meeting he will go to. Unfortunately, his buddy no longer goes to the meetings regularly (only when he feels he needs to), so Chris will have to go on his own or I will go with him. It's up to him.

He didn't drink a drop last night, which is big in itself. He normally drinks every night. When I went home for lunch yesterday, I took all of the alcohol and hid it. Hid it well. If he brings any into the house, I will throw it right out the back door and into the snow. He'll be lucky if he doesn't go with it. I'll be looking into al-anon for me to learn how to deal with all of this.

On a Lighter Note
I have some KC pictures to share with you! Woot!

That Crazy Pup...

Couldn't keep his hands off of our goodies.

Not sure what I was saying here

...but Aimee apparently found it VERY funny! LOL

Here are the onion rings we had at the BBQ place

Biggest damn O-rings I've ever seen. They were yummy!


Jamie REALLY enjoyed the ribs. Mmmmmmm...long meat. LOL

I suck at Jenga & this is that wacked out wierd shaped Jenga.

Especially after a few shots.

Butt wiggles...

...& giggles

the Knitting Nazi

She can talk and knit at the same time! You can see our lovely suite a little better in this shot.

KtP and Bun

Feelin' the love


Bustin' out the beads


The Chef in Action


Dat's a one spicy meatball!


Nanner giving a reading

Next time, perhaps...girl on bear action?!!

No, Honestly I'm Not

I can't pretend that I'm ok today. I'm not.

Last night, Chris dove to the bottom of a bottle and then decided it would be fun to be mean and then puked all over the place. I spent the night on the couch alternating between crying, consoling a worried child & sleeping.

I can't do this any more. I spent a wonderful weekend in KC with positive, happy, considerate people and the let down when I came home was huge.

At least he admitted that he has a problem and needs help. I just hope he will do it.

I can't get the tears to stop, so this will be it for today.

Ok Folks...let's play a little game here. I thought this thing was pretty groovy and posted it by itself earlier. There are 20 words in there (not including "me"). Name as many of the words as you can, and the winner just may get a prize!

Preview (or is it Pretty View?)

we weren't particularly shy over the weekend...



Isn't that a pretty bra? *cough cough*
tee hee hee hee hee
(Yep, she was quite schnockered.)

KCBLOGCON 2005

Wasn't able to post yesterday as work was keeping me WAY too busy...that's what I get for taking a couple of days off. hmmmph. I was on for a while yesterday, but, honestly, I was having too much fun reading others' blogs about the trip and looking at the pictures. Oh.my. Don't you fret - pictures are coming.

My weekend started a bit earlier than the group's since Aimee flew into Des Moines on Thursday night. After lots of mutual stressing out over her flight delays, she finally arrived about 3 hours behind schedule to our balmy -2 degree tropical paradise. Derrick went with me to pick her up, and I recognized her immediately when she appeared at the top of the chute the send the passengers down after they disembark. I took her home, fed her a big fat ribeye steak and we proceeded to chit chat and giggle way too long into the morning hours.

So, we got up a few hours later & scooted D off to daycare, packed up the car and headed out at 9am for KC. SO EXCITED! We had to pick Inanna and Evil Science Chick up at the KC airport and we arrived with perfect timing about 10 minutes before Nanner's plane landed. We scooped her up, then scooped up Bunsen (ESC) at the next terminal. We then headed for central KC, realizing as I drove that I had no idea where I was going. On the phone went Aimee, my navigator. Soon, we arrived at the hotel to find Jamie waiting for us in the lobby.

Ok...I had better trim the details or this is going to be a novel. There is just SO much to tell. *sigh*

We started out by walking (who's idea was that? It was 5 degrees!) a few blocks to find some lunch. We had a giggling & snorting lunch at Tom Fooleries (hee hee) and then trapsed back to the hotel where we met Pup and Katie. We hung out in the hotel room for the afternoon, munching, drinking and getting to know each other. What a fun group! I knew right away that this weekend was going to be a blast.

I'll continue later with more stories about our adventures. While they are fresh, however, I'll go with the impressions for now...

In Order of Appearance
Aimee - Aimee was exactly as I expected. I think the only thing that surprised me was that her hair was shorter (she didn't tell me she had cut it) and she has freckles which don't show in the pics I've seen. She is adorable. Aimee and I knew each other quite well before this, so her personality wasn't a surprise at all. I already knew that I adored her. Caring, considerate and philosophical, she has a wild streak that makes her so much fun. I was so sad when it came time for her to go home because I would love to hang out with her every day.

Inanna - Nanner is a little hottie. She seems to bounce along everywhere she goes. She was actually a little taller than I expected for some reason - I had envisioned her as tiny. I also expected her to be super skinny but she's quite curvy. va va voom! She is very observant of others and is not afraid to voice her opinion. She seems very confident with who she is. What a cool chick. I knew I would love her.

Bunsen/ESC/Bondage Chicken - Yep, gonna say it like the others. Bunsen is tall! She says she's 5'7" but I don't buy it - she's more like 5'10" I would say. We should have measured her (LOL). Bun surprised me because she is SO PRETTY! I had seen a few pics, but they don't do her justice, folks. She is a beautiful person inside and out. Very intelligent, considerate, observant and somewhat quiet, she can throw you into fits of laughter when she does talk. What a hoot! No wonder Kevin is so nuts about her. She is just adorable.

Jamie - Jamie was also taller than I expected. I guess I thought she was tiny too. She is extremely cute and her curly hair rocks. She was very positive, bubbly, full of youth and easy to get along with. This girl can par-tay. What a sweetheart. I wish I could have spent a little more face time with her to get to know her better.

Katey - Katey was probably my biggest surprise. I had never seen a pic of her, so had no idea what to expect physically. She is very cute! Very pretty eyes and brown hair and such a nice smile! Don't let her fool you with her rantings and ravings, she is sweet as sugar, very considerate and caring. I regret that I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk with her but my impression was that she is super-nice and lots of fun.

Pup - This brat is da bomb. Although I knew Pup pretty well beforehand, he was more handsome than I expected and bigger in stature. He, too, is one of those people for whom pictures just don't do justice. He was a little quieter than I expected at first, but I think he, like several of us, was just sizing things up. Man, this dude can cook... and drink... and I'll just say that a ride in his front seat while rocking out to Nine Inch Nails was a blast. I didn't have a problem with his driving, though I did detect a distint circular pattern in our routes (tee hee). We had fun shopping together at the toy store, but we were a bit disappointed in the selection (*wink*). I found him to be smart, generous, considerate and fun to be around. He was sporting a big cheezy grin all weekend with all the attention from the ladies and had to drag us to his favorite sports bar to show his friends that he really wasn't making shit up. LOL

I would love to spend another weekend with these peolpe and they exceeded my expectations. I was ready to get home, but now I'm ready to do it all over again this weekend!

Elvis HasThe Bloggers Have Left the Building

Well, I'm home and my wonderful, adventurous blogger weekend is over. I put Aimee on a plane a few hours ago. I missed her before I got home which is only 10-15 minutes.

Had a fantabulous time. I'll have many stories of stoplight flashing, gourmet meal eating, shot pounding, snorting and knee slapping, diet cheating and more, but right now I am going to bed. We didn't get a whole lotta sleep this weekend and Celti is pooped.



Oh, and I think I broke my toe this morning while packing. ow

For now, Check out Nanner Peach's page for some of the dish on what, exactly, we were up to. Catch you on the flipside, peeps.

What Kind of Place Do You Think This IS?

Searches in the last few days that have brought the seeker (no, not that seeker) to my blog:

"c" - what is this? Who would search for just one letter? WHAT, exactly, are they looking for?

"fa" - this is a brand of soap that's popular in France. I like it, but I don't think I've ever talked about it here. They make awesome shower gels. Again, what are they really looking for?

"amazing contortionist" - I am a limber person, but a contortionist I am not. I talked quite a while back about Danny Boy the contortionist. That must be the link...

"blonde buttsex" - uhhhh...this is not the place you are looking for, folks. No buttsex here. I have no idea why it got them here unless it has to do with the "tucker tries buttsex" blog entry I linked to long ago. After paging through to page 26, I still didn't find my link. This person really must have been digging. ewwwww

"wierdest nude ladies" - bwaaaaahahaha! Again - no clue why it brought them to me, but welcome! LOL I am wierd, I am a lady, but I have never been seen here nude. I might be known to flaunt some cleavage from time to time, but an exhibitionist I am not. Maybe after another 50 pounds...

Thanks
My appreciation goes to those who offered kind words when I was down in the dumps yesterday. It angers me that I give one individual enough power to bring me down like that. I'm to the point where I'm ready to say "screw you" next time that happens, as I no longer wish to give him the right to drag me down like that. *stomps foot*

Meep!
It's another short attention span day, folks. I can't concentrate much on anything but this weekend - the big KC gathering is finally upon us. Aimee arrives at 6:00 tonight and in the morning we head out. It's supposed to be sunny and cold, so the roads should be good. I have a list about 3 miles long of stuff to do...clean out the car, vacuum, finish packing, get my oil changed, make crab dip... I'm at work but leaving at noon. Yipee!

We will try to post about our gathering some time this weekend. It will most likely be on Pup's computer, so check his blog out. I'll try to copy and post whatever here. We'll have digi cams, so maybe even a pic of our most likely drunk group. So, 24 hours from now Aimee and I will be on our way to meet Pup, Kate the Peon, Inanna, Evil Science Chick, & Jamie. Don't worry - we promise not to hurt Pup...unless he likes it that way, of course. Bwaaaaahahaha!

Might Just Let it Go

I know I said it's all right
But you can make it up next time
I know he knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying

Maybe he thinks I know something
Maybe he thinks it's fine
Maybe he knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

I know he loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with his sleeping eyes
And I know that when he said he's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know he usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em,
nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe he'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no, no one
Likes to be let down

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me down


*sigh*
I hurt today...emotionally. I just can't win some times. I'm so very, very tired of trying. I just don't have the energy any more. I am tired of just letting things slide and internalizing the hurt and putting on a happy face when I'm not fucking happy, damn it.

Wow...crying really is hard on the skin under my eyes.

I hope this weekend gives me the refresher that I need so very badly so that I can dive back into my life with a fresh perspective. I don't think I'm going to be gone long enough...


Update - an hour later. Just got a phone call and an apology. Doesn't change much, but I suppose, for what it's worth, I feel a little better. I'll be ok. I always am.

Stoopid Quiz from Bondage Chicken

Hey, Bandwagon...Slow down! *hop*
Let's just get this out of the way before someone forces me to comply.
...and, it's convenient because I got nothin'


3 names you go by:
1. Celti
2. Pati
3. Peppermint

3 screen names you have:
1. celtic13cross
2. triplefire
3. celticcross

3 things you like about yourself:
1. my hair
2. my eyes
3. my sense of humor

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. my dry skin
2. my allergies
3. my tendency to be too hard on myself

3 parts of your heritage:
1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. English

3 things that scare you:
1. radical Muslims
2. losing someone I love
3. ignorance

3 of your everyday essentials:
1. blog
2. red bull
3. protein

3 things you're wearing right now:
1. black jeans
2. black maryjanes
3. my fave black bra

3 of your favourite bands/artists:
1. Linkin Park
2. Jack Johnson
3. Sarah MacLachlan

3 of your favourite songs at present: (in no particular order, and I will remember better ones after I submit this)
1. Jack Johnson - Rodeo Clowns
2. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
3. Linkin Park - In the End

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. See Sarah MacLachlan in Concert
2. meet other bloggers (check!)
3. lose more weight

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Good sex
2. Communication
3. a best friend

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
1. I hold the title of female video game champion of the USA for 1984
2. I am a member of MENSA
3. I am a bead freak

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
1. nice smile
2. smells good
3. able to move & groove

3 things you just can't do:
1. play the guitar
2. quit consuming caffeine
3. advanced algebra

3 of your favourite hobbies:
1. blogging
2. beading
3. gardening

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. attack a certain someone (not in a bad way)
2. eat an entire loaf of garlic bread
3. drink a big fat mocha latte

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider):
1. opening my own restaurant
2. sugar daddy arm decoration
3. manager of Linkin Park Underground

3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Greek Islands
2. Scotland
3. Ireland

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. Isabelle
2. Trinity
3. Derrick

3 things you want to do before you die:
1. visit ancestral homelands (Scotland, Ireland)
2. achieve financial security
3. develop a positive relationship with my sister

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
1. Seven
2. Lois
3. Inanna

Longest.Week.Ever

Listening to: Rodeo Clowns - Jack Johnson

This is going to be a really long week. Damn. This Thursday my bestest buddy Aimee is flying in to Des Moines. I'll pick her up at the airport for the next 3 whirlwind days of fun that lay ahead. I am so ready for this little get-away. SO ready.

It was a good weekend. Got a lot of house cleaning and laundry done and things were peaceful for the most part. We still have lots of snow on the ground, so we made the biggest damn snowman I've ever seen yesterday. He was about 6'5" and his base was massive. The conditions were perfect for snowmen - and snowballs. heh heh...I said balls. Oh shit, my dirty mind is going to get me in trouble.

Saturday I did a little touch-up on my hair. It turned out a lot more strawberry than I wanted. Oh well. I guess it looks ok. I certainly do look Irish. LOL

I am so frustrated by this freakin' thing I'm trying to print at work. It's a big banner - 6' long, 24" wide, 370MB so it's LARGE. It won't print right! I've tried photoshop, publisher and now I'm trying illustrator. The damned thing keeps printing sideways. What I don't get is that, at an even larger size it printed fine. Now I've made it smaller and the damned thing won't cooperate. I've now tried so many different combinations of dimensions, landscape vs. portrait...it just won't work. ...and with a 5-10 minute load time and 20 minute rip time, that's a lot of time wasted. My boss is sweating me for it. I'm about ready to take the damn printer out the front door and throw it in the river. I might just consider jumping in after it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!

I'm stressing and it's making my stomach hurt. Blargh.

Have I mentioned yet that I think Jack Johnson is brilliant? Where has the world been hiding this man? ...or have I just been under my rock too much? Probably the latter. I recently discovered him and I love his music. You should check it out. He does a lot of fun stuff with Ben Harper. And, he's mighty good looking! Certainly can't hurt - tee hee. He's just so smoooooth. Soothe my savage beast, Jack...

Short Attention Span Friday

Zip It!
What is the deal with these pants? The pants I have on today are backwards - no, the zipper is not in the back, they are reversed so that the flap over the zipper goes to the left instead of the right. I have to zip them up using my left hand, which is apparently retarded. I really thought that I was fairly dexterous with both hands, but I have a hell of a time zipping them with my left. If I try to use the right, it gets caught up and it just doesn't work. They're loose enough, maybe I'll try to just slide them down and not unzip them next time. Hey! Cut that out! I'm talking about going to the restroom!

Ditch It!
There are several of my beloved blogger friends who have decided to hang up their blogger hats here lately. You'll find them on my sidebar under "bloggers who have left the building." I keep them there so that I can check every once in a while to be sure that they haven't changed their mind (sad but true). Although, I might have to move Count Chocolat back up since her's may have been a false alarm (yay!).

Dastard, on the other hand, seems to have simply fallen off the face of the earth. Sure, I hook him up with this big, fancy birthday tribute and pull all of these others into it and then he ditches us all like so much bad fruitcake. Pffft! People, if you are going to quit blogging, common courtesy would dictate that you should actually say so on your blog so that people are not envisioning you being run over by a bus or something.

Flaunt It!
My sister-in-law started the South Beach diet a few months before me. She has lost a bunch of weight, and was sweet enough to pass along some of her clothes to me that she can no longer wear. They fit very nicely and are awesome! YAY! New wardrobe for Celti and FREE! Toni Jo ROCKS! I'm wearing one of my new shirts today and feeling mighty special. YAY!

Rub It!
...my worry rock, that is. I'm thinking and worrying a lot about Big Jay today. His lady, Jasmine, who is pregnant with twins, has been bleeding and cramping and they think she may have miscarried. They had an ultra-sound scheduled for this morning to see if they're still alive and still there. We, in blogland, are all waiting to hear the news. UPDATE - the twins are reported to be just fine! Excellent news. That, or as rumor has it, the entire thing is one big made up story. Could go either way.

Plow It!
Well, they finally plowed my damn road. It's about time! I was beginning to think that they had taken a few days off before finishing the job.

Dig It!
My phone, when dialing in speaker mode, makes these noises each time you push a number. It's kind of a poinking, plunk type noise. I love it! It's just one of those fun little sounds that amuses me when I hear it. Yeah, I'm wierd. So what? If you've been here long, you already knew that!

Have a wonderful weekend, peeps!

Dig It!

We woke up this morning to a wonderful 15" thick blanket of snow. Welcome to winter in Iowa! Oh, how badly I wanted to snuggle back down under that blanket and never come out. Alas, I had to go to work. I can't start out January by calling in and being a wimp.



My dog, Pugsley, is only 20 lbs, about 18" tall or so. He is not fond of the snow - it's like he doesn't know what the hell to do when I take him out. I drop him in the yard, and the snow is up to his chin. It's like it paralyzes him - he'll just stand there and shiver. If you leave him out there long enough, he'll flip over on his back, stick his paws up in the air and whine until you come pick him up. It's one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen. The biggest problem, however, is that he won't do his business! He'll pee right then and there, but he will not poop. I guess he can't squat. LOL I'm sure I'll find a little surprise package at the bottom of the stairs tonight. Thanks, Pugs. I guess I'll have to scoop out a little place for him to poo. Spoiled brat.

So, I get dressed, get the kid up and dressed, find my boots, bundle up and go outside to my car which looks like a giant marshmallow. I find the door handle and pop open the door to get my snow brush. I start it up with the defroster cranked, and proceed to brushing the stuff off. Mind you, this is while wading through a good 2-3 foot drift which has formed around the car. I get it cleaned off, go inside and bundle up the kid and off we go. He, of course, doesn't want to get in the car - he wants to play, so I chase him through the yard as he giggles with delight at the new winter wonderland mother nature has provided.

We park off the alley behind our house. This alley can be quite trecherous when it snows like this. Getting out without getting stuck is quite a feat - it's all about maintaining your momentum and letting gravity work with you.

I put the car in gear and gun it in reverse to get all the way out there or I'll be stuck. Success! There is a slight incline, so getting out of the alley is no sweat as long as you go the right way. We slide down to the end where there is a T intersection with another alley. Before getting to the T, you have to gun it again to make it around the corner or....you guessed it...you get stuck. Woo hoo! We made the corner. Now, down the hill and to the street. There is a big depression where the alley meets the street, so you have to gun it again to get over that or...well, you know. I gun it down the hill, praying that no one is coming, and weeee! We make it through. One more challenge - the end of the alley to the main thoroughfare. As I come down the hill, I see that the dickhead that lives down there has plowed out his driveway, leaving a huge pile of snow where? In the alley. Jerk. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I have no choice. I got for it, and we make it through the pile and out onto the plowed street. The closest street that has been plowed so far, mind you, is 2 blocks from my house.

Derrick and I celebrated with multiple woots and cheers and a "that was fun, Mommy!" Now, well just have to figure out how to get home. Let's just hope that, by that time, they will have finally plowed our street. If they have, then we get the joyous task of digging out the sidewalks. YAY!

I leave you with this little gem for your amusement: Ice Scraping

WHY?

There were two stories in the news this morning that really made me stop and ponder.

One was about the fact that Arab media sources are reportedly trying to blame the South Asia tsunami disaster on the United States and Isreal! WTF? They are saying that it was caused by American/Israeli nuclear testing. I can't believe the amount of seething hatred that they must have in their hearts to come up with shit like this. I am simply stunned.

The other one was about this crackhead woman who has 7 children (who have been taken away from her), 3 of which tested positive for cocaine when they were born. A judge has ordered her to stop having children until she proves that she can care for the ones that she already has, and now a big controversy is brewing. I really agree with the judge completely on this one. There is no way this woman should be allowed to have another child. I think that women like this should be given those birth control shots so that they cannot conceive - not just ordered not to get pregnant. She is obviously to ignorant, irresponsible or both to use birth control. I would like to know what the consequences will be if she does have another child and what is being done to help her prevent bringing another crack baby into this world.

This brings to mind some of the questions that go unanswered - life's mysteries that I ponder way to often...

Why is it that we have to get a license to own a dog, but any idiot can have a child?

Why is it that, even though I never twist the handset around (or even stand up while talking on it, for that matter) when on the phone, my phone cord gets all twisted up beyond belief?

Why do my cat and my dog insist on accompanying me to the bathroom when I go?

Why do people, at the last minute, veer off into the right lane to wait out the stop light so that I can't turn right on red?

What is up with those shoes you see laying in the street? This one really bothers me. I have noticed, time after time, that I will often see one single shoe laying in the road. Where do they come from? Where is the other shoe? And the biggest question is - WHY IS IT THERE? Didn't this person realize that they just lost a shoe? Why didn't they go back and get it? Did someone get hit by a car and whoever took them away forgot their shoe? How in the world did they lose it - were they riding along with one foot hanging out of the window???

I Took the Red Pill

Last night, in the midst of an ice storm, I was swept out of my bed and taken away by a handsome, mysterious man. It soon became clear that it was my friend, Erich. He told me that we were in danger, and that he needed my help in order to save all of the righteous. I got dressed as he stuffed guns in a big duffle bag and we slid down the front stairs and jumped into his car, my incredulous look being met with "let me explain."

The next thing I know, we are in this huge, fancy mall and we are being chased. We are doing our best to hide our guns in our clothes so that the cops won't see them. If the cops see them, they will arrest us (or shoot us) so we won't be able to accomplish our objective - to kill all the tweekers. We are chasing the tweekers, but the cooks are chasing us to keep us from killing all of their customers. Did you know that it is really hard to run with a very large gun shoved down the back of your pants? The entire time, I think I was more afraid of shooting myself or losing my gun than I was of the cooks that were chasing us. Man, I did not want to lose that gun - it was my favorite - a Ruger Super Redhawk 44 mag. Bad.ass.gun.

All of the people in the mall seemed completely oblivious to our situation, the fact that we were packing, the fact that we were running - really to our existence at all. As I passed them and looked at their faces, they were sheep with human bodies, wandering aimlessly thought the shopping mall of life.

There were several close calls where the cooks would pop shots off at us, and things like colums and potted plants would explode next to us. We greased several tweekers, and they were like zombies, still coming at you after the first few shots nailed them. It took about 6 shots to take one down.

The cooks were closing in, so we escaped from the mall by jumping into this huge tube. It was like a giant ventilation shaft, round, going straight down into the dark. Having no idea what was at the bottom, I grabbed Erich's hand and down we fell.

Then, I woke up. It was one of the the wierdest dreams I've ever had.

What did YOU do last night?

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

My mind is a swirl of thoughts today. I guess it's new years coming up, the busy holiday season and a whole variety of other elements combined that is making things spin at a rate much quicker than normal. Prepare for much rambling...

We're having a New Years Eve party, so there are lots of preparations to be made. How in the hell am I going to get the house cleaned up in time? Ug. We would really like to invite Kim & Chad, but Matt & Liz are coming. See, Matt and Kim used to be a couple, and it ended badly. Chad was next in line, so Matt does not like Chad to say the least. It would just be too tense. It sucks because it would be so nice to have all of them there. I hate having to choose.

I was smart and made the crab dip last weekend, so it is in the freezer all ready to thaw and serve. I am doing the little smoky weenies in bbq sauce that are always such a huge hit (not to mention no carbs) and we're making a plethera of ham balls. Last night, we ground 9 pounds of ham and added 14 pounds of ground pork to it. Damn, that's going to be a lot of ham balls. LOL We add eggs and bread crumbs, and then bake them basted in a wonderful brown sugar sauce that is out of this world. Yeah, I know...not carb friendly, but you gotta live. Matt & Toni are bringing a shitload of cheese from Wisconsin (yes!), so we'll have a monster cheese tray and who knows what else. I, of course, will be having margaritas.

Pugsley isn't getting any better. He had another seizure Christmas morning - that's what I woke up to, in fact. Poor guy. He seems to be more disoriented as the days go on and he seems to be losing his sense of what is where, frequently bumping into things. He is completely blind now. A few days ago, he was in the front yard doing his business and fell off of the terrace onto the driveway. I guess it's back to the leash. I have a feeling that he won't be with us much longer. It will be very hard for Derrick to cope with when we lose him, as he and Pugsley are best buddies. This lesson about death will be much tougher to deal with than the last, though I am glad that his first exposure to losing a pet was only a stupid fish. I think that will help him some with understanding.

Pugsley's impending demise makes me ponder my own aging. I'm not a kid anymore, and I am starting to see those little signs in the mirror. When I was getting ready this morning, I noticed that I am looking more and more like my mom as time goes by. The lines in my forehead no longer disappear when I stretch it out, and there are crow's feet forming. Oh, father time, you're a cruel bastard. Leave my frickin' face alone!

I am so excited because our little blogger party is coming up so soon! Aimee is flying in on Thursday night (the 13th) and spending the night at my house. I'll have to thoroughly vacuum everything so that my cat doesn't make Aimee miserable with her allergies. Keeping the benedryl handy, just in case. I feel bad that we don't have a spare bedroom to put her up in, but our house is small and full. The couch really is quite comfortable - I have slept on it. It also is a hide-a-bed, so I'll give her the choice of fold out or sleeping on it as a couch. The next morning, after dropping Derrick off at pre-school, we'll head out for Kansas City. We'll pick up Bunsen and Inanna at the airport on our way into town.

This is my first "get away" since Derrick was born, believe it or not. I am SO excited. I am a little nervous though, because I know Derrick will miss me terribly as I will him. He's stayed at Grandma & Grandpa's for the weekend before, but I've never gone away and left him with Dad. They'll do just fine, I'm sure. Sounds silly, I know, but I love our bedtime rituals, constant hugs and kisses and the way he crawls in bed with me and wakes me up with snuggles in the morning. I will miss him so much. Aimee had better watch out as she might have a drooling, sleeping Celti snuggling up to her. LOL

In KC, we reserved a hotel suite that sleeps 6, and there will be 5 of us there - Aimee, Bunsen, Jamie, Inanna and myself! Katey will be coming in the night before and we'll hook up with she and Pup after we get checked in. I think Pup is cooking dinner for us Friday night - woo hoo! Lucky Pup with 6 ladies in his apartment. He'll be in bear heaven. LOL

Not sure what else we'll do while we're there...would like to go out clubbing at least one night. Otherwise, we're just going to hang out and enjoy each other's company. Should be a blast. Is it nutty of me to have already started packing? LOL

Tattoo of the Day

Today's tattoo is dedicated the the 40,000 + souls who lost their lives as a result of the earthquake and tsunamis in Southeast Asia and their loved ones. It is a mourning dove. My heart goes out to them all. May they find peace.

What Can We Do?

I feel so helpless. 23,000 dead and counting. On Christmas day!

If you haven't heard, there was a massive earthquake right off the coast of Indonesia on Saturday - a 9.0 on the richter scale. A 615 mile plate shifted, creating immense tsunamis to form - these huge waves (some over 30 feet high) hit the coasts of Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, Malasia and others with no warning on a beautiful, sunny morning.



I'm worried about Pup's sister - she lives in Thailand but I don't know where. I've been trying to call him since I heard the news and he isn't answering. I hope that's not a bad sign. I am also worried about my friend Rani who lives in India. Last I knew she was living in Delhi, so she should be safe. Let's hope she wasn't vacationing on the coast.

I can't give blood - well, I can, but it wouldn't get to those who so desperately need it. There are so many people who's homes were destroyed. They have nothing. What in the world could I send to them to help? Millions of people have been displaced. It's overwhelming. Humanitarian aid is on it's way from all over, but I just have this feeling that I should do something and I have no idea what to do. They are so far away.

Video I saw of this woman clutching the body of a dead child (her's, I assume) and screaming has haunted me for the last 24 hours. I cannot imagine the shock and pain that so many people there are experiencing right now. I can feel it in my bones. I clutched my son as I watched the news, him squirming and looking at me like "dang, Mom, what's wrong?". I couldn't tell him - I just hugged him some more.

Happy Holidays, Dear Bloggers

The new year is approaching, and a lot of us take this time to reflect on the year that is almost past and the upcoming year. Today, I am doing just that. (Warning - sappiness ahead. LOL)

This year, I started blogging. I was bored at work, surfing the internet for something to do when I came across a blog. What's this? How very interesting! She had links to other blogs, which I followed and discovered the world of blogging. Soon, I created my very own, this one. This is my original. Although I have a few others (Celtic Cross Tattoos, an About Me that I never finished) and some group ones that I contribute to (evil recipes, beatdown...) this is my blog home.

I have met so many wonderful friends through blogging. Some people not involved in the blogging world don't understand and think I'm nutty when I talk so fondly of my "blog friends." They way I look at it is that I know some of them better than I know my friends who live right here in my town. I feel this way because I talk to most of these blog friends every day - through reading their blog posts, comments, IM, e-mail, some even on the phone. At times I go for weeks without talking to many of my home town friends. We bloggers share our hopes and fears, tragedies and celebrations. You are a big part of my life.

Just think of it - through blogging we are no longer limited by geography. We choose to "hang out" together in the blog-o-sphere. We have literally thousands of potential friends to choose from and we get to hand pick the very best ones for our own. Each and every single one of you on my links are exceptional people with interesting things to say. You are, to me, the cream of the crop. ...and the new ones who come here are welcomed with open arms, carrying the promise and potential of another cherished friendship.

Happy Holidays, my friends. I am a much better person for having known you this year and I look forward to the year 2005.

*smooch*

Boogie Woogie Christmas

It snowed yesterday! YAY! Looks like we'll have a white Christmas since the forecast is for cold cold cold until then. Derrick so badly wanted it to snow...he was exstatic. There is nothing more beautiful than the pure joy of a child throwing his arms up to the sky and opening his mouth to welcome the big, fat snowflakes.

After dinner, we went outside to play. I fell on my butt twice and laughed like a maniac. The second time, though, I jammed my pinky finger and it really hurts today (let's hear a collective "awwwwwwww"! LOL) We made a snowman. He doesn't have a head now, though, because when I was trying to jam things into him to make a face his head exploded. Yes - exploded. Kerpow. The headless snowman (sounds like some kind of stupid horror movie). Oh, well...we'll give him a new head tonight. We rolled in the snow, had snowball fights, and made angels. Weeee!

I've been enjoying my new CD - Brian Setzer Orchestra, Boogie Woogie Christmas. I adore BSO and Brian Setzer - been a fan of his since the Stray Cats. He is one cool cat. I saw them in concert a few years ago (BSO, that is) and it was fantastic!

But, my biggest news of the day is this....(insert drumroll here). I HAVE LOST 52 POUNDS! Woo Hoo! I can't tell you how happy I am with this diet and how things are going. I'm going to get me some new clothes because things are really starting to sag and droop. Maybe I should have put suspenders on my Christmas list. I did get a nice scale from my mom (isn't that just like a mom?) so now I can weigh every day and keep better track of my progress. I hadn't weighed for like a month so I was quite surprised. It is really strange - I don't feel that much thinner or see it when I look in the mirror, but judging by my clothes it has to be true. How does one go about adjusting their body image? Ideas?

'Tis the Season For...

Sugar!
So, I met friends at IHOP for lunch today. Who's friggin' idea was that? DANGER! Carb city, man. I had a bacon, mushroom & cheese omelet and it was very good. I gave the pancakes to spankmonkey and it wasn't even painful. We had a jolly good laugh when John asked what kinds of syrup I had at my elbow...let's see...strawberry, raspberry, dingleberry... He chose dingleberry. Bwaaahahaha! Giving the pancakes away seemed a bit pointless, though, since I ate several of the Christmas yummies the neighbor brought over yesterday. Damn her! But how can you turn away a plate full of cookies, fudge, peanut butter balls and umpteen other kinds of sugar-bombs? I sent them to work with Chris today. Be gone with them!

Procrastination
I finally got my Christmas cards in the mail today. Nothing like putting it off until the last minute. At least I'm not so pathetic that I didn't get them out so they could arrive on time or not at all. I was, however, a baking maniac this weekend...I made 20 loaves of banana bread on Saturday. Yes - 20. That would be 6 batches thankyouverymuch. Some with nuts (male), some without (female) *snicker*. It is diet-friendly bread, though...sweetened with Splenda (all hail the makers of Splenda) and wheat flour instead of white, so the damage will be minimal. Everyone but Derrick is getting banana bread. HA HA

Spoiling your Kid Rotten
Derrick is making out like SUCH a bandit this year. Oh, dear, I fear we have gone overboard once again. He's getting about 6 Rescue Heros, Rescue Hero Jet that turns into a headquarters thing, Rescue Hero police car, Rescue Hero dune buggy & 4 wheeler, GI Joe helicopter & hummer with characters, Imaginext Bravemore Castle & deluxe Pirate Raider...the list goes on. This kid is going to lose his mind. We have certainly lost our freakin' minds.

Being Distracted
So far today, I have accomplished exactly 2 tasks that were directly related to work. I've been here 4 hours now. Hey, I still haven't read so-and-so's blog and was going to google that thing that I was thinking...

Short Attention Span Friday

Due to my wonderful blogger friend Sloth's recent announcement of her "retirement" from blogville, I am adopting her short attention span tradition in her honor. Yay! It's short attention span Friday!

Today I bring you: Tales of the Sick, Bizarre and Stupid

Squeeze Play?
This morning, on the way to work I witnessed an act of sheer stupidity. I was sitting waiting for a green light behind many cars (probably 20 or so) when this idiot in a white FIERO (yes, Fiero) comes up on the left, passing all of us in the ONCOMING LANE. There was traffic coming! Anyway, he wanted to get into the gas station that was on the corner, and he made it in time before getting squished by oncoming traffic. However, after pulling up at the pumps, the door opens and out of the Fiero comes this HUGE man - I'm talking like a 400 pounder. It was so funny. Itty bitty car, great big guy! Bwaaaahahaha!

Passive Agressive Nazi Gardeners, I Say!
Seems that the Victoria City Council hired some gardeners to arrange some potted flowers of purple and white in some garden beds downtown. The intention was to arrange them in nice, eye-catching geometric shapes. Six of these garden beds, however, were left in the shape of swastikas...during a time when the city was hosting hundreds of Jewish people to celebrate the eight-day Hanukkah festival! They are claiming that it was an accident and they didn't realize what the shapes "inadvertently" formed. Yeah, riiiiiight, whatever. Idiots.

OMG, What is THAT in the Road!?
Not too long back, I got fed up with this stupid pillow and decided to get rid of it. The fabric was printed so that it was a rainbow trout, about 5 feet long but very similar to this picture. The damn thing had been around too long and was starting to come apart...seams splitting and his tail got ripped partially off in a pillow fight. It was time for the trout to go. I asked Chris to get rid of it, and what does he do? He put the damn thing in my car! So I go out to go to work, and here's the damn fish! There is this park by the river that I cut through on the way to work to avoid a daily traffic jam, so, on a whim, I threw the fish pillow out of my car in the middle of the street. I drove away laughing, thinking of the reactions of people who will come across this giant trout laying in the middle of the road in this park! Bwaaaaahahaha! What I would have paid to see/hear their reactions!

We love the Moon!
My son informed me, last night, that the moon is his girlfriend. Uhhhh...what? I guess that's ok with me.

Pugsley
Well, I couldn't get so lucky as to have Pugsley's seizure be a fluke. He had another seizure yesterday when I was home for lunch, so off to the vet he went. They did a bunch of tests and everything came back normal, so they're assuming that he is epileptic. I now have a prescription for phenylbarbitol to go fill for him. Two pills a day...oh joy!

Bad Hygene Gone Too Far
Check this out... dude claims that he dumped his canoe over in a river, and lost all of his clothes (except for the ones he had on). He spent the rest of his trip in the same clothes, damp and dirty for 6 days. When he arrived home, he found this plant growing out of the lint in his belly button. WTF? A seed must have gotten in there and germinated. There are more pics over at his page. This is among the wierdest things I've seen in a while.

Have a Happy Friday and Wonderful Weekend, Peeps!

Tattoo of the Day

I know, I know...I've been neglecting my tattoo goddess duties.

I present:

Proudly sported on the hip of none other than the goddess Inanna Moon. Kick ass!

the Answers

...to the world's most confounding mysteries, right here Ladies and Gentlemen! LOL

not really

just the answers to your questions from my previous post. :)

My responses in bold italics...


jp (www) said:

Ok, I'll bite. No, really I will. Guard your neck. Oh, you tease ;)

A.
(1) Friday Night Lights - The best HS football movie ever made. Excellent stuff. Hmmmm...not real big on sports movies, but I'll check it out on your recommendation.
(2) The Summons - John Grisham at his best. A very quick read, but a great story. Oooohh, I like Grisham.
(3) Eminem - Encore - Slim Shady's newest is very well done, although you have to listen to it more than once to appreciate it. I've heard it is very good and have been meaning to scope it out.
B.
(1) How's it hanging? A little lighter these days ;)
(2) Are you ready for Christmas? Darn tootin! I have just a couple of little piddly things to get, but no big deal. A lot of banana bread to cook, though.
(3) Can I get sloppy seconds on that rice krispy treat in your sidebar? Certainly! Though I think it's a ricecake.



Derek (www) said:

A.
1. Disorganized Crime. Is just flat out funny. I should watch it tonight. I will check that out
2. Books...Books...I'm sure that your local newspaper will suffice. I get my news online - foxnews.com & msnbc.com mostly
3. The Coasters "50 Coastin' Classics" from Rhino Records. Far out, man!
B.
1. Where are my taquitos? En el Mexico or in the fryer
2. What did you get me for Christmas? A swift kick in the arse. LOL Just Kidding
3. That's not a rice krispy treat, it's a cookie, isn't it? What's doin' the humping, a turd? I think it's a ricecake...or maybe oatmeal cookie. It's the little monster that's taking over fark.com.



Aimee (www) said:

A. 1. "The Usual Suspects". Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, it's still awesome. Or if you're not in the mood for that one, try "O Brother Where Art Thou?". Also always good. Or if you have the boy at home and want to keep him entertained as well, go for "The Princess Bride". Oh, I love the Princess Bride (have it in my library) and O Brother Where Art Thou? is one of my favorites! I haven't seen the Usual Suspects, though...so a renting I will go. lol
Man, I can't even make it through the first piece without breaking the rules! Sorry.

2. "Ahab's Wife". I could not put it down. Fantastic read! Hmmmm...cool!

3. "Blues for Allah" by the Grateful Dead. It's perfect for a lazy Sunday morning. I love the Dead, but haven't heard that album. Sweet!

B. Can I get back to you on these questions? You pretty much answer all my questions all the time anyway... You have a good point there.



Omega (www) said:

(A)
1. 'Memento'; second reccomendation, "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me'. They'll be put on the list.
2. Anything by Andrew Vachess, the best noir writer of the past twenty years. His books start with 'Flood'. Noir....groovy!

3. Faithless, 'No Roots'. Hmmmm...never heard of them. Interesting.
(B)
1. What is your earliest memory? I would have to say it was when we were playing dress up with the neighbor girls. They dressed me up in a little sailor girl dress and made a huge fuss over how cute I was. I wore that dress for like 3 days. That, or when my big sister ripped my arm out of the socket. hmmmpf.
2. If you could have a house anywhere in the world, where you live? The Greek Island of Santorini
3. What celebrity do you think you most closely resemble? Hmmm...that's a tough one. I don't know - Cybil Shepherd or maybe Charlize Theron on a bad day? LOL


Tricia (www) said:

1) Practical Magic Love that movie!
2) The Feast of All Saints Anne Rice Added to the list
3) The Roots- the seed http://www.okayplayer.com/theroots/ I'll check it out


1) Who is your favorite actor? Johnny Depp
2) If you have a daughter what will you name her? Isabelle
3) a) Do you still have my thong? Yes
b) Did you remember to wash it? Hell no, I'll never wash it! LOL



Inanna (www) said:

1. Schindler's List One of those I've been meaning to see...
2. The Wolf's Hour by Robert McCammon Added to the list
3. Metallica - Metallica Yes, very good

1. If you were Derrick's age, what would you dress up as for Halloween? Probably Kim Possible - she rocks! ...or maybe a Powerpuff girl
2. What is the best advice you ever received? Don't sweat the small stuff and to believe in the power of unconditional love.
3. Afterlife or reincarnation? Actually, both...I think we stick around until we get it right and then we get our reward.

Thanks for playing, folks! I promise I have a real post coming.

Recommend, Ask, Pass Along

I stole this from Inanna, who stole it from Ang, whole stole it from Fresc, who stole it from someone at Intellectual Poison.

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted this week--great time for strangers to say hi.

(C) Then go back to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

WTF?

Found this through Tarantino's page (yes I know how to hyperlink, but I'm being lazy about it, ok? Check the sidebar.). All I have to say about it is WTF?

Fry Day Conglomeration

The Candy Gods Favor Me!
I found something very special...Baskin & Robbins sugar free mint chocolate chip hard candies! WOO HOO! I am in chocolate minty heaven!

The Anticipation is Terrible!
As many of you may know, Willy Wonka has been remade starring Johnny Depp as Willy. I have mixed feelings about this. I'll be going to see it as soon as it's released - my sheer curiosity will not allow me to wait until it's on video. I am a big depp fan, but worry that this one might have been way too much of a stretch. How can ANYONE outdo Gene Wilder as Wonka? I just don't know if it can be done. It may be like a rubber-necker seeing a horrific car accident, but I'll be there. LOL Curious? See the trailer here.

Pugsley
Thank you very much for the kind words and wishes for my dog, Pugsley. He is doing just fine since the other night. No seizures. He is acting just like his old self, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.

Santa
Derrick got to meet Santa last night. We went to see the Jolly Holiday Lights - a huge display put on each year to benefit the Make a Wish Foundation, and Santa was there, so D told him about the Rescue Heros Police car he wants. He was very excited!


Have a Great Weekend, All!

Worried

My dog, Pugsley, is getting up there in age. We don't know exactly how old he is because he was a rescue dog - he was dumped because he had been hit by a car and was all scarred up. He had a broken back leg that caused the joint to be malformed and that joint won't bend, so he wasn't "perfect" anymore. The vet guessed that he was about a year old when we got him, so that would make him about 9 now.

About a year ago, Pugsley's eyes started looking a little cloudy. The vet confirmed that cataracts were forming. Perhaps he was older than we thought? Who knows? Now, the cataracts have completely clouded his eyes and he is blind. I could get surgery to fix this for him, but the cost would be in excess of $1500 - money that I do not have. Despite being blind, his quality of life is pretty good and he is very loved. We're ok with the fact that he's blind, and thought that we should have several more years with Pugsley as he is otherwise a very healthy dog.

Now, I'm really wondering. Last night, as usual, I carried Pugs down the front stairs (he won't tackle them now that he's blind) and set him down in the front yard to "do his business" before bed. He sniffs around the front yard and comes back up onto the porch when he is done. I stepped inside for a minute and when I came back out, I could hear him snorting which was not unusual. He loves to flip over on his back and roll around in the grass.

It was dark, but I could make him out a little, wiggling around in the grass. It became clear quickly, however, that something was wrong. He was on his side, kicking his legs frantically, and snorting at a very rapid rate. I went to him, and saw that he was frothing at the mouth! He looked like he was having a seizure! I scooped him up and brought him in the house and he was kicking and snorting the entire time. I laid him on the floor and grabbed a towel to wrap him in, and he continued to seize for a few more minutes. When he came out of it he was panicked, anxiously trying to get away from me. I let him walk for a minute, and he was wandering around, looking very confused and bumping into things. He would not stop moving, and he was alternating between breathing very heavy and snorting. It took me nearly 30 minutes to get him to settle down.

After he settled down, I went to bed and laid there worrying for a long time about what I should do. I settled on the idea that I would take him straight to the vet in the morning. This morning, however, when we got up he was acting perfectly normal. I don't know if I should take him to the vet or just wait to see if it happens again. This is so scary - I don't want to lose him.

Please say a prayer or send some positive energy (whatever your thing is) for Pugsley as the road ahead could be a rough one. Thanks.

Ding a Ding Dang My Dang a Long Ling Long

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
that's ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"
-Ministry, Jesus Built My Hotrod

The Best Concert EVER
I've been to a LOT of concerts in my time...but the best of all (so far) was Lollapalooza 1992.

In Order of Appearance, If I recall correctly:
Jesus & Mary Chain
Pearl Jam
Soundgarden
Ice Cube
Ministry
Lush
Red Hot Chili Peppers
...all in one fabulous day!

I went to see the show in Minneapolis with one of the most wonderful guys I've ever known - Jason, affectionately known as JEK. We simply had a blast.

I wore my favorite black mini tankdress (oh how I miss that dress - I literally wore it out) with my black 12 hole Doc Martins. Cool and comfy, I was ready to kick some ass! I was able to sneak in a huge water bottle filled with blackberry Clearly Canadian and Vodka in my backpack (hee hee).

We managed to wiggle our way up close to the front, so we had a really good view. It was a very warm day, so soon we were quite damp. With all of the bouncing around, moshing and general jumping up and down, we were soaked by the time Pearl Jam came on. Oh, the joys of swimming in the musky scents of a hyped up crowd. LOL

All of the bands put on a terrific show and the sound was great. Members of some bands would come out and jam with the other bands, and it was just so cool. Chris Cornell from Soundgarden came out and sang with Pearl Jam. Flea came out and played with Soundgarden. Al Jourgensen from Ministry would come out on stage and talk to the crowd (and spray us down with hoses) as they were changing the stage between bands.

I'm not much of a rap fan, but Ice Cube did deliver a good performance. The funniest part was when he did Ice T's Cop Killer. All of the cops/guards were standing surrounding the crowd up on the track, somewhat above the crowd, looking disgusted. At Ice Cube's urging, the entire crowd continued to flip the circling helicopters off as they filmed the crowd. Put THAT on the evening news! LOL


Although all were good and Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Chili Peppers kicked serious ass, my favorite performance of the day was Ministry. They had a simple stage setup, but Al's microphone stand was elaborately decorated with bones...so wild! You can see it in the pic. He also had a giant tricycle decorated in the same manner that he would ride around the stage. Crazy! One of the coolest parts was when they started to play "so what" - the beginning has a very deliberate, driving beat and the entire crowd began to jump straight up and down to the beat, in unison. It was so cool - I love it when the crowd moves as one like that.

Although, much to my chagrin, Jane's Addiction did not play, we did get to see Perry. He was dressed up in drag and served as a stage assistant for Jim Rose's Circus Sideshow! They put on a great show with Mr. Lifto picking up large bricks and such with various pierced parts, Matt the Tube, various contortionists and people eating light bulbs and jumping up and down on glass. I love sideshows. They are a freakin' riot. As a side note - If you ever get a chance to see the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus - GO! They are fabulous.

Jason and I wandered back to the campground and fell into our tent exhausted after the show was over. Damn, what a fine day it was!

Can't wait to see who is playing on Lollapalooza 2005.

True Confessions

I am a much happier camper today. My little psychological experiment worked! I felt depression coming on, pushing it's way into my psyche like a nasty little virus, so I just decided that I was NOT going to let it in. Instead of getting depressed, I got pissed. I stomped my feet, cursed, spit and jumped up and down and damn if felt good. After that, I felt much better and was able to go on with my day in a productive manner! Woo hoo! The power of exercising mind control on yourself...

Trashman, you may have been right, though...I did eat some crackers after my little tirade, so the carbs might have helped as well. ;)



And Now, for Something COMPLETELY Different:

A little sexy fun list for some shits and giggles. Thanks to Vader (who's surprised here?) for the list.

If you want to play:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal/blog.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

PART I

01. I've had sex in the past five minutes.
02. I enjoy oral sex.
03. I scream loudly during sex. (not often, though)
04. I love sleeping with more than two people.
05. I own at least two books about sex.
06. I've peeked into the locker room of the opposite sex.
07. I have taken money for sex.
08. I've had sex while under the influence of a controlled substance.
09. I've been in porn movies. (home ones)
10. I have been the odd person in a threesome.
11. I have published the sexual exploits of a past relationship without telling my ex.
12. I have lied to a lover about having an affair.
13. I have been told that I'm the best lover a person has ever had. (more than once)
14. I like and Respect Jenna Jameson.
15. I like slow sex.
16. I have learned a lot sexually over the past year.
17. I have a sexual fantasy about another blogger. (more than one)
18. I've been told I'm a great lover.
19. I carry a condom at all times.
20. I'm interested in trying suspension.
21. I've broken a bone while having sex.
22. I have had a wet dream that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I have had sex in the rain.
24. I have had sex while someone else watched.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it would improve my sex life.
26. I would like to have sex right now!
27. I like to play with food.
28. I like sex that's hard and fast.
29. I always brush my teeth after sex.
30. I shave my pubic hair.
31. I have traveled out of town to have sex.
32. I have fantasized about having sex with my brother-in-law/sister-in-law.
33. I have had sex with a person from a country other than my own.
34. I dress to look sexy. (sometimes)
35. I have had sex with twins.
36. I have had sex with someone I met over the internet.
37. I have more than ten sex toys.
38. I like the way I look naked.
39. I have lied to get a person to have sex with me.
40. I change from one sex position to another in a specific order each time.
41. I saw my parents having sex.(gah!)
42. I get cable just for the soft porn.
43. I think legalized prostitution can reduce some crime.
44. I have a list of people I would like to see naked.
45. I am regularly tested for STDs.
46. I am one kinky bitch.
47. I'm always hungry after sex.
48. I enjoy phone sex.
49. I have been arrested for being naked in public.
50. I have had sloppy drunk sex with a stranger.

PART II

1. I have, either currently or in the past, gone over a year without sex.
2. I have a partially used tube of KY Jelly close to my bed. (does astro-glide count?)
3. I sometimes buy clothes specifically to turn people on.
4. I sleep with my socks on.
5. I have gotten someone drunk on purpose.
6. I set aside some time each day to surf porn online.
7. There are nude pictures of me somewhere on the Internet.
8. My family would FREAK if they read this list.
9. I can orgasm on command. (pffft...I wish!)
10. I have had sex standing up.
11. I have leather in my closet and I'm not afraid to wear it.
12. Given the opportunity, I would have sex with a porn star. (only a select few)
13. I know someone who needs a copy of "Sex for Dummies."
14. There is at least one extended family member (cousin, aunt, etc.) I would jump if we weren't related.
15. I think hose are sexy.
16. I think limited nudity should be allowed on television after 10:00 at night.
17. I like ribbed condoms.
18. I am pierced somewhere other than my ears or navel.
19. I have had sex in the shower.
20. My parents caught me having sex.
21. My child(ren) caught me masturbating. (thanks heavens the covers were pulled up!)
22. Watching other people have sex turns me on.
23. I own more than ten porn tapes/DVDs.
24. I have used a vegetable as a sex toy.
25. I enjoy reading erotic literature.
26. I can get wet/hard just by the sound of someone's voice.
27. I have used a sex swing. (but I really want to!)
28. I have employed the services of a professional sex worker.
29. I have a membership on at least one adult pay site.
30. I would give up another habit (smoking, drinking, over-eating) if it meant having more sex.
31. I would consider hiring someone to teach me about the finer points of sex.
32. Given the opportunity, I would appear in an adult magazine.
33. I think reality TV should show who's having sex with whom.
34. I get wet/hard just walking into a Victoria's Secret store.
35. I keep a "Top 5" list of famous people I would like to fuck.
36. I have participated in an orgy.
37. My current sex life is beyond boring.
38. I am actively looking for a new sex partner.
39. I do NOT think having sex always means making a long-term commitment.
40. I have at least one sex toy made of glass.
41. I think anti-pornography laws are too restrictive.
42. People would be surprised if they knew how often I think about sex.
43. I think 16 is a good age to begin having sex.
44. I have special names for my sex organs.
45. I have used sex to get what I want.
46. I think the world would be a better place if people had sex more often.
47. I think some public nudity should be legal.
48. I have at least one sex toy that is blue.
49. I think a blogger orgy would be ... interesting.
50. Just reading this list makes me horny

Hee hee...this was fun. I'm such a bad girl. *snicker snicker*

Angry

I'm not having a good morning. I can't really tell you why. I am just angry.

I just want to kick puppies, push down old little ladies, spike the hot cocoa with ex-lax and say bah fucking humbug. This is not like me, and it concerns me very much.

All I really want for Christmas is to get my car fixed so that I can get the hell out of Iowa.

I need a breath of fresh air.
I need a break.
I need someone who will treat me with respect.
I need to make more money.
I need to feel appreciated.
I need an antacid.
I need a happy pill.

I had a post up with some song lyrics that I just yanked down. I always feel lame for posting song lyrics, but sometimes they just express how I feel so damn well...

We'll see how many people I can alienate this time...how many will bail and avoid me because I'm not shiny, happy, bouncy and flirty. Some will see that I need a hand up, others will slowly back away. Please let them see and understand.

This anger and frustration - I know what comes after this, and I will do what I can to try to fight it off. It is a battle that I have fought and lost too many times. Perhaps I should seek medication.

Ahhhh...the downward spiral, just in time for the holidays.

Password

Work is busy busy, hence keeping me from being able to blog. *pout*

So, here is a joke for you...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password... Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made very obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P...

E...

N...

I...

S.


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***


Happy Friday all!

The Condition My Condition Was In

Hello world! Yes, I am alive and happy to be that way. It has been an extremely long and unpleasant holiday weekend chez Celti. We have been sick. Not just icky sicky…falling down, wish I were dead sick! Monday night I thought I was going to die. I think I would have felt better if I had died.

My wonderful son started out the Thanksgiving weekend by puking all over me in the recliner Thursday night. No warning – we were snuggling and watching TV and he just spewed. Sorry to be gross, but it’s one of the joys of parenthood, folks. I quickly parked him in front of the toilet, stripped myself of my vomit-soaked clothes and put something else on. He was done throwing up by then, laying on the bathroom floor. I stripped him of his befouled jammies, gave him a quick wash-off and got him it new jammies toute suite and put the poor little bugger to bed. He slept for a while, and then threw up all over his bed and pjs. I cleaned him up, cleaned up his bed, new sheets and blankets and back to sleep he went. We did this two more times before morning. Yeah, long night.

Thank heavens by morning the vomiting had stopped. He was feverish and lethargic. I pushed fluids and held him most of the day on the couch. By that night, you could tell he was starting to feel a little better. We took it easy and stayed in all day Saturday and by Saturday night, he was back to his chipper old self.

Sunday night, I started feeling a bit off...not really sick, just a generally unwell feeling. Monday morning, on the other hand, was a different story. When I arose my head was swimming and my stomach was cramping. I tried to psych myself out and convince myself that I was not getting sick despite the fact that I had to make several trips to the loo. Thinking that it wouldn’t look good to call in after a 4 day weekend, I decided to tough it out and go to work.

By the time I dropped Derrick off and got to work, I was feeling horrible. Gut wrenching cramps were doubling me over, and I had to make several more trips to the bathroom. I started to get that urping, gurgling feeling. OMG – I’m going to puke! Convinced that there was no way I was going to make it to the bathroom (it’s quite a walk) and not wanting to spew in the hall, I chose my friendly office garbage can. Since the dumbshit cleaning lady didn’t put a liner in, there was simply no nice way of cleaning up the mess. So...I put the little surprise package in her cleaning closet (today I have a liner. LOL)

I promptly told my boss that I was sick and had to leave and drove my soupy ass home – thankfully an uneventful and quick drive. I went straight to bed and didn’t move again until 5 (7 hours later). I got up when Chris and Derrick came home, moped around a bit and went back to bed at 7 for the night.

To make what is becoming a long post short, I haven’t been that sick in a long time. After 24 hours of excruciating waves of nausea and cramping and horrible body aches, I was no longer convinced that I was going to die. I sat like a quivering lump on the couch all day yesterday, wanting to eat something but so very afraid because everything I ingested (including water) made my stomach hurt so badly. I didn’t even blog on my new computer – that is how sick I was.

Despite having a stomach that is still a bit on the tender side, I am SO very happy to be feeling well again and happy to be back to the blog-o-sphere.